Community Conversation => Transgender talk => Topic started by: Contravene on September 25, 2014, 10:20:56 PM Return to Full Version
Title: Dysphoria May Ruin a New Job?
Post by: Contravene on September 25, 2014, 10:20:56 PM
Post by: Contravene on September 25, 2014, 10:20:56 PM
So I'm in the market for a new job. I've had some really promising interviews and I'm pretty excited about the prospect of having a job that actually pays enough for me to finally be able to move out into a nice place and pay the bills. I have one problem that has been holding me back though.
Ever since I came out I have been slowly transitioning socially. I have no idea when I'll be able to medically transition but I like dressing masculinely and being read as male in public which I often am now. The only problem is that at work I stay in "female mode" and it's extremely stressful. At work I find myself using a fake voice to sound more feminine and I feel like I have to wear female clothes. The stress of constantly putting on this act, feeling self conscious about it and the everyday stress of work combined are all killing me and my performance at work is also suffering because of it. The dysphoria is so bad that I have multiple anxiety attacks in the middle of the work day and have to hide them then when I get home I get nothing done because the stress from the day is too much and I usually just fall asleep with a headache only to wake up and face the same crippling discomfort again the next day. My fear is that even with a new job I'll have to continue putting on this act of pretending to be female and the dysphoria will continue to tear me apart.
I would really like to have a fresh start at a new job and be read as male or at least be able to dress as a male so that I can be myself, be comfortable and actually be able to do my job well. I'm not sure how to go about it though. Should I specifically only look for companies that are LGBT friendly, do I just go into work dressed as a male and let my coworkers stare until they get used to it, do I ask a company about their attitude towards gender identity before I interview with them? I'm sure every company will say they don't discriminate but whether that's the truth is a whole different story.
I appreciate any advice.
Ever since I came out I have been slowly transitioning socially. I have no idea when I'll be able to medically transition but I like dressing masculinely and being read as male in public which I often am now. The only problem is that at work I stay in "female mode" and it's extremely stressful. At work I find myself using a fake voice to sound more feminine and I feel like I have to wear female clothes. The stress of constantly putting on this act, feeling self conscious about it and the everyday stress of work combined are all killing me and my performance at work is also suffering because of it. The dysphoria is so bad that I have multiple anxiety attacks in the middle of the work day and have to hide them then when I get home I get nothing done because the stress from the day is too much and I usually just fall asleep with a headache only to wake up and face the same crippling discomfort again the next day. My fear is that even with a new job I'll have to continue putting on this act of pretending to be female and the dysphoria will continue to tear me apart.
I would really like to have a fresh start at a new job and be read as male or at least be able to dress as a male so that I can be myself, be comfortable and actually be able to do my job well. I'm not sure how to go about it though. Should I specifically only look for companies that are LGBT friendly, do I just go into work dressed as a male and let my coworkers stare until they get used to it, do I ask a company about their attitude towards gender identity before I interview with them? I'm sure every company will say they don't discriminate but whether that's the truth is a whole different story.
I appreciate any advice.