Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Male to female transsexual talk (MTF) => Topic started by: Asniceasme on September 28, 2014, 02:12:33 PM Return to Full Version
Title: Different states of depression
Post by: Asniceasme on September 28, 2014, 02:12:33 PM
Post by: Asniceasme on September 28, 2014, 02:12:33 PM
Warning, there is graphic language in this post, but it is directly related to my current state of mind.
According to one therapist I have seen in the past, there is only two states of depression...depression, and manic depressive. Anything else can be explained away as you being bipolar, being schizophrenic, having a split personality, having the blues, just being upset etc.
In my mind, however, depression is not just a simple explanation like that. I feel there are many different levels of depression, that a lot of therapists don't even understand.
It can be a slow build, it can hit you like a tonne of bricks. It can last for days on end, or it can last a few minutes. You can do something simple to get over it, or you could be stuck in a never ending cycle of blackness from which there appears no escape.
One moment you could be on a high from your football team making the grand final (for those Sydneysiders out there, I am a Canterbury Bulldogs fan). Then the following day you could be out to lunch celebrating a friends birthday. Before you know it, you have started to slip into the black hole of depression. You go to sleep for the night, thinking things will be better in the morning. You wake up, have a shower, get ready for work, and before you know it, you have downed half a bottle of wine, polished off half a packet of painkillers with a can of red bull, and you are sitting on the train to work hoping that you are the person who gets kidnapped and beheaded, as the extremists have threatened to do to some random person.
Beyond Blue is a joke...you explain how you are feeling, and tell you to ring lifeline. You ring lifeline, and they tell you not to worry, it is only the start of the week. None of your friends who know your situation are awake yet or answering their phones, and your only outlet is a web based forum of helpful but anonymous people who have been in a similar situation to you.
According to one therapist I have seen in the past, there is only two states of depression...depression, and manic depressive. Anything else can be explained away as you being bipolar, being schizophrenic, having a split personality, having the blues, just being upset etc.
In my mind, however, depression is not just a simple explanation like that. I feel there are many different levels of depression, that a lot of therapists don't even understand.
It can be a slow build, it can hit you like a tonne of bricks. It can last for days on end, or it can last a few minutes. You can do something simple to get over it, or you could be stuck in a never ending cycle of blackness from which there appears no escape.
One moment you could be on a high from your football team making the grand final (for those Sydneysiders out there, I am a Canterbury Bulldogs fan). Then the following day you could be out to lunch celebrating a friends birthday. Before you know it, you have started to slip into the black hole of depression. You go to sleep for the night, thinking things will be better in the morning. You wake up, have a shower, get ready for work, and before you know it, you have downed half a bottle of wine, polished off half a packet of painkillers with a can of red bull, and you are sitting on the train to work hoping that you are the person who gets kidnapped and beheaded, as the extremists have threatened to do to some random person.
Beyond Blue is a joke...you explain how you are feeling, and tell you to ring lifeline. You ring lifeline, and they tell you not to worry, it is only the start of the week. None of your friends who know your situation are awake yet or answering their phones, and your only outlet is a web based forum of helpful but anonymous people who have been in a similar situation to you.