Susan's Place Transgender Resources

What changes beside crying easier happen to our personality in HRT?

This is a multifaceted question. I was really jonesin' to say "multifaceted."

On one hand, it can be said that your personality is who you are on the inside. That doesn't change. You are you, and there's nobody more you than you. Is it fundamental? How deep up the rabbit hole are we going?

Then, there are more external personality pieces, like you mentioned, crying. After about eight months on estrogen, that's leveled out. I cried a lot during the first few months, but it might have also been situational: losing my house, a close friend moving across the globe, having nowhere to live and nothing to eat. But my emotions are definitely more fluid and useful. As a boy, it took a lot for me to cry. Once I was there, I'd be stuck there for a long time. Now when I do cry, it's much easier to move on. I feel better, and I'm laughing again in a minute.

And then there are things like mannerisms, sexual feelings, sexual orientation. I gesture more "like a girl," but that may be because I'm just letting myself do that. My drive for sex is... if a male sex drive is like an up-and-down arousal, then a female sex drive is more side-to-side. My orientation is a lot more fluid. Some days I like cis girls, some days I like trans girls, and other days I like boys.

I was never the aggressive or competitive type, and now I am even less. While I like this about myself, it's really working against me. No trans pun intended with the words "against me."

Quote from: dannypreston on September 28, 2014, 07:22:29 PM
What changes beside crying easier happen to our personality in HRT?

T made me want to go out and DO something. Fix something. Change something.

E made me more accepting and loving. Appreciating the world as it is rather than wanting to make something happen.

My interest in sex changed also. It stopped being about "achieving" something - some level of intimacy, orgasm, etc. It became more about togetherness.

I am still the same person, but I am just able to express myself better.  I am also happy and much more outgoing than I ever was.  When I was miserable, I had a hard time empathizing with others, but now it comes quite naturally.

Quote from: suzifrommd on September 29, 2014, 07:34:33 PM
T made me want to go out and DO something. Fix something. Change something.

E made me more accepting and loving. Appreciating the world as it is rather than wanting to make something happen.

My interest in sex changed also. It stopped being about "achieving" something - some level of intimacy, orgasm, etc. It became more about togetherness.

I would agree Suzi, T gave me more 'drive' to do stuff. I use to want to climb Everest, now I'd just like to admirer it for the beautiful mountain it is.
For the first couple of months I was incredibly emotional, I cried at work after a disagreement with my boss. Of course I also had the usual 'calming' effect which came with eostrogen, but that seems to have subsided a little. My sexual orientation has not changed, I liked girls and still do. However my sex drive has diminished significantly, I just don't feel like it anymore, and that feels ok for the first time ever.

But in general, my personality seems to be the same, it's just a softer take on how I use to be, more forgiving, more understanding

I already get teary-eyed when I watch something emotional on TV, and I'm not on HRT yet. Sheesh, I'm going to be a mess!

QuoteAnd then there are things like mannerisms, sexual feelings, sexual orientation. I gesture more "like a girl," but that may be because I'm just letting myself do that. My drive for sex is... if a male sex drive is like an up-and-down arousal, then a female sex drive is more side-to-side. My orientation is a lot more fluid. Some days I like cis girls, some days I like trans girls, and other days I like boys.

I was never the aggressive or competitive type, and now I am even less.

I've always been more feminine in my mannerisms, as well. As far as sex drive, I have none. I wonder if there will be a paradoxical effect! I'm pretty sure my orientation won't change. The male body (and personality) does nothing for me. I think the only personality changes I'll endure is heightened emotional reciprocity and probably more extroverted behaviour in social settings (although, I could probably attribute that more to just presenting accordingly). The last thing HRT would ever do is turn you into someone you're not.

I've only been on E for a few days, but I've been on T-blockers for a few months.  Most of the changes I'm feeling are small, they are noticeable though (I can't wait to feel the effects of E :3).  I definitely have a softer personality now, I'm not as aggressive about what I say or do.  I was never a very aggressive person, but I always had this overwhelming feeling of always needing to be right, I could never let something go or admit to being wrong.  I still have a bit of that nag left, but I am not overwhelmed by it and most of the time I'm happier to let things go or just admit my mistakes and avoid a conflict.

My sex drive has been reduced significantly.  It used to be such a burden to me, it almost felt like an obligation just to stay calm and sane.  I don't feel the urge almost ever any more, and if I do it's small and easily ignorable (Hooray! :D).  My sexual orientation is shifting.  I used to be very fixed in one place, like I wasn't quite attracted to men but I also had no physical desire to be with a women.  I was stuck in that middle ground and even a slight edge further in either direction just felt wrong.  I feel much more fluid about it now.  I did shift waaay more towards men and I'm noticing less attraction to women's appearance.  While I still feel I would prefer not to have physical intimacy with a women, I don't feel 'grossed out' by the idea like I used to feel.

I still have to work on stuff like gestures and tones because of how entrenched I was in my little denial hole, but some things are coming more naturally than they were before.  When I talked I used to have my arms crossed all the time, and now I'm noticing that I am actually using more body language without even thinking about it sometimes.  This may also just have to do with my increased confidence and optimism but either way it's a good sign ^^.

Sorry about huge wall of text >.<  I have a really hard time summarising :P

Quote from: Jeniikyou on October 04, 2014, 12:48:47 AM

Sorry about huge wall of text >.<  I have a really hard time summarising :P

I just noticed something Jeni, I think this statement alone summarises really well the difference between having T and not having T. Any man could have summarised that into a few words, yet us women feel compelled to explain and feel it all through words and emotion, and lots of them.

Just an observation  :icon_paper:

Quote from: BreezyB on October 04, 2014, 01:12:01 AM
I just noticed something Jeni, I think this statement alone summarises really well the difference between having T and not having T. Any man could have summarised that into a few words, yet us women feel compelled to explain and feel it all through words and emotion, and lots of them.

Just an observation  :icon_paper:

It may be just an observation, but it sure made me feel better :)  I was starting to feel a bit blue and your observation was really nice to come upon.

The biggest change is so subtle, yet so obvious because it is so multi-faceted. It effects every aspect of you, the real and true you.

The wall comes down. Brick by brick. Course by course. Sometimes it's subtle, others with resounding crashes. You're freed to be you. You are no longer condemned to live an existence of a Hollywood facade.