Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Hi. I'm new here and I hope this is not a rude question or something. I'm not a transsexual, but just a lesbian writer, and one of my fiction story lines now features a male-to-female Trans-Woman, and I'd rather not fall victim to too many stereotypes, so instead of just portraying her as a gloryfied drag-queen, I'd be more interested in making a character that's actually credible and interesting. Right now, I'm not entirely sure about her sexual orientation and sadly I don't know enough trans-women personally to get any representative sample. Hence this poll.

I'm attracted to people of all genders.

But I guess if I had to say if there's anything that attracts me the most. It's genderqueer people. Especially people who identify as androgynes.
I'm also really attracted to women who are proud of their flat chests. And men who are proud of their femininity and cuteness.

I think I'm more attracted to body type than gender identity, though.
With women... I'm not very attracted to breasts or curves. And for men... I'm not really attracted broad shoulders, or being really tall. Or big muscles... or body hair.

I think that female body builders are really pretty, though. To me, muscles look prettier on women than men.
I'm also more attracted to body hair on women than men.

I'd love to meet a woman with big pecs and abs and muscles, and leg hair, but the most adorable face and personality who was attracted to me and had lotsa things in common.

I'm attracted to both cis and transwomen. I prefer thin girls a lil taller than me. But looks are far from everything and this is just a representation of who physically attracts me. However, I need to mention that I'm attracted way more by personality over looks, so this opens up a very broad range of women for me.

I won't say I'll never be with a man, trans or cis, because if true love ever does come around for me I won't pass up a chance at happiness be they female, male, cis, or trans, or somewhere in between. I just hope if it's a guy he's not too hairy as body hair is a huge turnoff for me.

Peace everyone! :icon_bunch:

Ally :icon_flower:

I can give examples!

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2FZ8AOuIC.jpg&hash=04563c0fd761e3babc7412a243a90d1d1576d925)

To me, women like this are so so so pretty. I would love to date a woman like this who I had things in common with.

Well I am a transwoman that just happens to be dating a transwoman. I think if you want to give your character credibility you just have to make them real. Regardless of who our love interest is, we are still at our core a human being. In our relationships we love, we laugh, we cry and we care. Essentially we are the same as any cis- heteronormal couple. The dynamics of our relationship differ based on each of our likes and dislikes, just like any other couple. I think the thing that is most often overdone about portraying transwomen is the fact that we are a transwomen. Our lives are not all consumed by being trans. Our sole identifying characteristic is not that we are trans, although all media would have you believe otherwise. I just happen to be trans is all. I am also a loving girlfriend. I am also a homeowner with all the responsibilities that come along with that. I am also a successful Industrial Designer. I am also a sci-fi nerd, book worm, psychology hobbyist, former skateboarder and former 3D Animator. I am many many things, one of which just happens to be trans. I am more than my gender. I am more than my sexual orientation. I hope this helps.

-Liv

mostly guys but i dont feel like being with anyone until surgery

Hi Anna,
This link might be useful - be careful to never ever lift something directly from these forums without written permission from the author.  It is not only inappropriate, but conceivably unsafe.

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,172936.0.html

Here is the thing for me and for a lot of us.  For decades I was pretty clueless as to my gender.  All I knew was that it didn't feel right and so I tried to be a guy, tried to be gay, tried to be anything that wasn't as painful as what I felt to be the truth.  Eventually I either had to leave denial and embrace transsexuality or emotionally die and just go on sans joy, sans color, sans meaningful life.

But sexual orientation is not linked to gender identity except maybe by habit.  So in my case I find both men and women desirable.  I love the shape and feel of a woman's body against mine, but also relish the strength and confidence of a man.  So it goes.  What the link talks about is that from my perspective at least, trans people are more interesting both sexually and personally than cis folks, men and women.  There is commonality in the trans community and a complexity of spirit that I don't find as much in straight relationships.

All this said Olivia is spot on.  Being trans is no more defining as to who I am as anything else about me.  I am a software engineer, I am a parent, I am a member of the local community, I am a caring human.  Those are at least as defining of me as the fact that I am a woman, and that I am trans.

Good luck with your writing,

Julie

I am confused about what I prefer ???. I think women are beautiful and I feel attracted and even turned on by them, but in the end I want to touch, feel and play with a cis male and not a feminine one.

No idea D:!

none and that is pretty much the same as it was 20 years ago long before I transitioned. But it seems that its a hard thing for many people to grasp, they think everyone has to like sex to some degree.

Hmm.. I'm attracted to women for both emotional and physical aspects but for men... I just don't have any physical attraction to them but at the same time I can get emotionally attached and end up liking a guy. I'm a bit weird like that haha.

I picked "everyone," but I did want to mention that (in case you didn't realize this) that encompasses more than cis men and women + trans men and women. :) There are non-binary people of various types, including those who identify as agender or genderfluid.

I'm bisexual, for all intents and purposes.

Also, if you want to see how trans women live and think... go read the forums! As someone else said, copying people's words isn't OK, but you absolutely can get an impression of a wide range of lives and opinions that way.

One option you didn't include is "attracted to nobody"--i.e., asexual.  There's a reasonably significant contingent of transpeople who fall into that category.  Estimates come in at between 5 and 10%.  Whether this is true asexuality is hard to say.  It may be asexuality due to circumstances: e.g., you might be attracted to men but are only interested in a relationship with a man as a woman.  If that's not possible for you, then your attraction might wane.

And Anna, I don't regard this as a rude question, but I would advise caution.  It's going to be hard to create a credible trans character if you don't actually know lots of transpeople in real life.  I myself would be very hesitant to try to write about lesbian characters.  As a transwoman who's known very few transmen, I'd even hesitate to write about them.  Right now I'm reading Armistead Maupin's cycle of novels, which includes one character who is a transman.  He strikes me as a very credible character--but I wouldn't mind talking to some transmen who've read the books to get their take on him. 

It's very hard to put yourself into somebody else's skin.  Being trans. like being a lesbian, is a lot more than who you're attracted to.  But enough of this.  I'm sure you know it already.  I wish you the best of luck.

Your friend,
Foxglove

Um, this is tricky for me. I'm complicated. I am attracted to men's bodies, but I fear them in general, so yeah. It's complicated. I almost never approach guys. In a romantic way at least. I just IDK I have some sort of trauma with men. Usually I think none will ever be able to love me. And so far I have been right, at 18 just today (yay!) I still have never had a boyfriend. Again I'm complicated.

Auroramarianna - Happy Birthday!   :-*

Quote from: JulieBlair on October 03, 2014, 02:14:00 PM
Auroramarianna - Happy Birthday!   :-*

ditto

First, Happy Birthday, Aquamarianna! To be 18 and living in today's society as a transgendered girl. Wow!!! Marianna, there are definitely guys out there who can love you as a woman. Just because you haven't found one yet, doesn't mean you won't find one.

I don't see a category for myself, which is: Cis Men only. None of the other categories remotely interest me, which isn't on anyone else but me. It's just that I really love men, period. From feeling very feminine in their arms to their unique scents, to their bodies and the strange and unique ways they think and behave. And to have a man who knows how to make love to a woman is better, times ten, than any drug or anything else mentioned or considered sex's superior or equal. Nothing comes close, IMHO!!!

By the way, please don't put transgenders in the same paragraph as drag queens. I wear women's clothes because I'm a woman. I really LOVE clothes, but I don't get turned on by them, and don't go around trying to be noticed like most drag queens seem to. I'm a woman, not a man pretending to be a woman for a night on the town with other drag queens. I wish the general public, who all too often lump all of us in as one big group, would see and understand that there are far more dissimilarities than similarities between us transwomen and drag queens and CD/TS. I hope I'm not banned or chastised over this, but I find it offensive to be tagged as a drag queen, just as I find it offensive to be called a '->-bleeped-<-', 'she-male', 'a chick with a d**k', or any of the other gems we can be so disgustingly referred to, mostly by guys, more often than not by guys who get turned on watching porn with transgendered performers with men. Sorry for the diatribe.

Felt I had to put my two pence worth in the comments here, there is something in my emotional makeup that needs to know my partner has a penis before i'll let myself get attached, I feel a little bad about it but it doesn't seem to be something I can help.

So really my answer would be Cis-men, Non-op Trans-women and those Trans-men lucky enough to be able to afford the bottom surgery.

I can't decide if that makes me complex or really straight forward! :P

Alice
xx

I'm dating a man. I'd date a man, trans man, or masculine cis woman. I dated the latter with my only other "real" (read long term) sexual partner (sex was rare). She was very butch then changed and dumped me cause "she needed a man." I have a rare intersex chromosomal disorder. Um, but right now, I'm so in love with this guy that I'm practically Carrie from "Homeland" and would go to Iran and face death if that's what it meant to save him--and that analogy isn't that far-fetched.

All in all, I think I'd just do better with men cause I'm demure and submissive and like it (no love it) that way. If I met the right woman, it could work, though, I think. Uh, I've been transitioning for awhile and dating this guy (or whatever u want to call it) for the last year abouts and have known him for a year and a half, so we were best friends and then became roommates in a 1 BR apt. with one bed before we started umping buglies. PM me for more. I have had an active sex life since transitioning and before HRT I was gender queer.

Like some others here, I've not fully explored my orientation, but I know it's complicated.

Right now, I know that I'm definitely attracted to at least women. Further, I've found myself being attracted to the odd guy, and some transmen, andogynes, and transwomen.

So, I'd rather say that I can be attracted to anyone, completely regardless of gender. It's the emotional connection which is key.

I'm only sexually attracted to a man & always have been. I consider myself as a hetrosexual woman that loves hetorsexual men. I so look forward to my GRS so I can fully enjoy my sex life with a nice man. There is nothing so exciting to me as a first date with a new man. We usually connect so easy & I'm so glad to be with him. I just kind of melt away & enjoy being a woman with & for him. To feel & fully enjoy a man inside my vagina & body will feel so natural for me. 

For your book you really need to remember the 1st rule. Gender and sexual preference are 2 different things.

Now to answer your question I like women through and through. To me I don't mind if you were born female or chose to become one. Then again there is a ftm at work I'm getting to know well and starting to find him cute but at the same time not. Gosh darn these fickle things called emotions. Women in transition are fine as well but right now I'm also more into just looking than touching until a few more things are changed and I have body parts I would enjoy sharing with another.

  My sexual preference is cis women with them as the more dominant or 'masculine' element.  I have yet to knowingly meet a transwoman in person who passed well-enough in their character as a woman (while also being attractive to me) to feel a romantic or sexual connection with them.  As such I would be interested to know instead if your book character will be 'openly trans' or not.  I am proud of my identity as trans but I don't wish to broadcast it.  I don't want a partner to view me as trans because there's a good chance they'll subconsciously view me and treat me differently from cis women, particularly when it comes to their social circle.  The same goes for my acceptance by society.  If I can't live fully stealth, and I doubt I every truly will, I don't want that fact to automatically affect my interpersonal relationships.  I have yet to determine if any pure cis-lesbian will accept me and feel sexually compatible with me if I am pre-/non-op.  It is a big question looming in my future that I'm very afraid to put to the test 'on the open market'.  Overall, if I'm going to try for a relationship, I'd like to only be fretting over the usual issues that can arise rather than tacking trans issues on top of all that.

  To the OP, please feel free to PM me if you have any questions regarding my viewpoint or lifestyle.

I'm a intersex "transsexual", and only attracted to boys.
When I look at girls, the only thing I think about is how is their hair, and if I could wear what they are wearing.

Quote from: AnnaSiciliana on October 03, 2014, 08:23:43 AM
Hi. I'm new here and I hope this is not a rude question or something. I'm not a transsexual, but just a lesbian writer, and one of my fiction story lines now features a male-to-female Trans-Woman, and I'd rather not fall victim to too many stereotypes, so instead of just portraying her as a gloryfied drag-queen, I'd be more interested in making a character that's actually credible and interesting. Right now, I'm not entirely sure about her sexual orientation and sadly I don't know enough trans-women personally to get any representative sample. Hence this poll.

Creating a trans woman by poll would result in a fairly dull character. There is more individuality among trans folks than conformity. I generally identify myself as gay--I'm attracted to some female persons, and some non-binary folks. But beyond that I'm an editor, a writer, a feminist, a socialist, a radical, a... The biggest troubles with trans characters in fiction are not just the inaccuracies in regards to our gender/sex/sexuality/identity, but the lack of personality and individuality beyond that.

I'd suggest that more valuable research than sexuality would be to get a sense of how a few of us live our lives, what we do on a day to day basis, what our relationships look like, and how our trans-ness does and does not affect our lives.

Firstly Anna I'd like to congratulate you for asking. It would be easy to just assume so well done for wanting to fairly represent us in your book  :) I'd agree that the poll results are not really going to give you a good representation of a person because whatever sexuality you give your character they will fit in as Trans to somebody.

Personally speaking, I've only ever been with women sexually and for most of my life I thought men were there to be friends with. When I first began transition men were an example of everything I disliked about myself (I was horrible to men) The thought of ever being near one sexually was only marginally less attractive a proposition than continuing to pretend to be one as I had for 41 years  ;D (I'm still awaiting my Oscar for playing a man for so long  ;D } As I've become more settled within myself I've found I can be friendly to men as long as they don't make crude or sexual comments. I also have to admit I didn't behave fairly towards Transwomen either. I always said I couldn't go with a Transwoman because I have enough issues of my own to be putting up with theirs as well (Sorry girls)

I decided right at the start of my transition that I wasn't just going to change the clothes I wore and continue being the same person. I wanted to change as much as I could or needed to so that I became a better nicer person than I was. Not that I wasn't a good person but I wanted to be sure. I spent 6 months looking at myself in depth and saw many things I didn't like including my attitude to sexual relations but concluded as I was unlikely to be having sex for quite some time I'd leave that bit till last. Fast forward 7 years and here I am in a relationship with not only a Transwoman but a pre op not even full time one at that  :o My friends who have been with me during the transition and who knew about my attitude to men are stunned as they thought I was lesbian but are now thinking I'm straight as I don't tell people about my partner as that's not my secret to share. Truth is what we have isn't about sexual activities as so far neither of us have the right plumbing as my ex gf used to describe my genitalia as  ;D

As has already been said being Trans doesn't define who we are, Our sexuality is also not related to being trans, Maybe an advantage we have is that we are able to be honest enough with ourselves and others to better understand our sexuality as opposed to many hetrosexual cis men and women who for whatever reason don't feel able to ever explore or talk about their sexuality. I hope the book is a success and the things we share here help you produce a wonderful character  :)

Hugs

Sorcha  :)

  I'm very pleased that this point was raised eloquently by the previous two posters - that character and lifestyle for so many of us have little or nothing to do with our being trans or our sexual identity.  I think it would be highly advisable to the OP to create a well-rounded and interesting story character as normal before attempting to bring in the trans and sexuality elements.  I'd probably be offended and find it socially counter-productive if the trans character were created for the purposes of sexual intrigue primarily.  Perhaps she doesn't intend this but I think the danger is there.  I suppose there may be some limits to this depending on the target audience.  If they're supposed to be turned on by the sexual elements of the story then a lot of attention may be placed on this unavoidably.  There's a fine line to be walked with regards to how much of today's society focusses on the sexuality of transwomen as their supposed defining element or primary motivation.  One day we will make it to the point where transpeople can be part of stories (and those silly romance novels in the drug stores ::)) and no one will give it much thought, but at the moment society in general is not ready to take it that way.

  For me assessing my sexuality was an integral part of discovering and defining my trans identity but sex has never been at the forefront of my life or my decision making.  I know my sexual identity but I wouldn't be terribly upset if I never had a sexual relationship the rest of my life.  It certainly forms little of the basis for my thoughts around who I might like to date other than to be concerned with how the other person might feel compatible with me.  Rather than a sex-drive I find I have more a 'friendship-drive' and would like to meet someone else who also puts sex way down the list of conscious priorities.  The fact that I would like that partner to be a lesbian has more to do with the relationship dynamic and how they instinctively view me as a person and me them.  If sex does result it at least will feel fully right to me with such a partner.

I am attracted to anyone that finds me attractive. I am bi so all is fair game. But really, anyone that makes me feel special, I melt and am yours.

I've been thinking some more about what it means to be transgender, and the way it changes ones life, in terms of sexuality and more.

Being transgender is beyond difficult ( just look at suicide rates ). It's difficult from some from our very first memories, if you read some of the stories here. And it doesn't get better until we seek help to understand, accept and try to deal with the situation, which in itself is ridiculously difficult. It's not something anyone on this earth deserves.

For me, and maybe others, all of these trials and hardships just dwarfs anything else, including sexuality. Once you accept the trans* label ( seen or not ), other fears or preconceptions mean little, and the importance of them really falls away. And transition afforded me the opportunity to explore and redefine myself. It's a chance for a new and authentic life with no reservations.

Prior to transition I identified as a straight male, and drew the line there ( unwilling to explore ). Now, I'm somewhat a pansexual woman ( still exploring ).

I suspect you will find this sort of diversity is somewhat common in the trans* community.

Quote from: Miranda Catherine on October 03, 2014, 03:33:07 PM

By the way, please don't put transgenders in the same paragraph as drag queens. I wear women's clothes because I'm a woman. I really LOVE clothes, but I don't get turned on by them, and don't go around trying to be noticed like most drag queens seem to. I'm a woman, not a man pretending to be a woman for a night on the town with other drag queens. I wish the general public, who all too often lump all of us in as one big group, would see and understand that there are far more dissimilarities than similarities between us transwomen and drag queens and CD/TS. I hope I'm not banned or chastised over this, but I find it offensive to be tagged as a drag queen, just as I find it offensive to be called a '->-bleeped-<-', 'she-male', 'a chick with a d**k', or any of the other gems we can be so disgustingly referred to, mostly by guys, more often than not by guys who get turned on watching porn with transgendered performers with men. Sorry for the diatribe.

Great reply, I couldn't put it better myself, it is offensive to be tagged as a drag queen, ->-bleeped-<- etc, I'm just a woman with a distance history.
To answer, I voted cis men, because I'm a straight woman, I love being with a man who makes me feel special and feminine, I'm now married to a man, who accepts me as a woman, it just feels so natural to me, hope that answers.

I like to play with people of all genders so I'm queer in that regard but when it comes to a relationship I'm definitely lesbian. Thanks for the question and the poll. Would love to read your book when it comes out. :)

I'm not very interested in sex these days, but I could get into anyone that I think is just a great person.

Quote from: Allyda on October 03, 2014, 08:58:55 AM
I'm attracted to both cis and transwomen. I prefer thin girls a lil taller than me. But looks are far from everything and this is just a representation of who physically attracts me. However, I need to mention that I'm attracted way more by personality over looks, so this opens up a very broad range of women for me.

I won't say I'll never be with a man, trans or cis, because if true love ever does come around for me I won't pass up a chance at happiness be they female, male, cis, or trans, or somewhere in between. I just hope if it's a guy he's not too hairy as body hair is a huge turnoff for me.

Peace everyone! :icon_bunch:

Ally :icon_flower:

I know what you mean about height Ally. I'm 5'6 and am "so" hoping to find someone taller than I am so I can know what it's like to stand on my tip-toes and reach up to kiss them. Sigh...  :-*

Quote from: ✰Fairy~Wishes✰ on October 03, 2014, 09:07:16 AM
I can give examples!

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2FZ8AOuIC.jpg&hash=04563c0fd761e3babc7412a243a90d1d1576d925)

To me, women like this are so so so pretty. I would love to date a woman like this who I had things in common with.

Oh my GOD she's beautiful....

Guys in general. A persons personality is way more important to me than if they are cis or trans. It doesn't matter to me because who they are as a person is all that matters.

On a technicality, I am bi. I am very attracted to guys and mostly the pretty boys ( picture younger Brad Pit) . I have a real thing for a firm mans chest... as for females,  I am very picky. I guess its the cute face and kind hearted nature. There was this girl who worked at a pub a town away form me. I used to say to mum that " I would so turn lesbian for her". A relationship takes presidence over everything else though. It's the connection.

Quote from: pretty pauline on October 08, 2014, 10:36:28 AM
Great reply, I couldn't put it better myself, it is offensive to be tagged as a drag queen, ->-bleeped-<- etc, I'm just a woman with a distance history.
To answer, I voted cis men, because I'm a straight woman, I love being with a man who makes me feel special and feminine, I'm now married to a man, who accepts me as a woman, it just feels so natural to me, hope that answers.

I can fully agree with this. The only difference between trans-women and cis-women is the trans-experience of the former. There´s nothing special on trans-women compared to cis-women except the fact that most of us escaped being raised up as typical girls because we were forced into boyhood against our will. At least, that´s how I feel. I´m way more feminine than my cis-gif and she sees nothing more or less in me than what I actually am: a woman. And that´s how I define myself. A woman with kind of traumatic adolescence and puberty.

But I guess, there´s something more on being a trans-woman. While we have to fight for our right to live as women and being accepted as women, cis-girls are way more inclined to take their being female for granted. Just speaking for myself, as a trans-woman, I rate the fact being a woman and being feminine higher than average cis actually do.

So, if she wants to write a book with a trans-woman character in it, she should be well advised, not to exaggerate any traits in the character. Not to portray her overly feminine like a caricature of a woman, nor as a Drag (which is indeed very insulting btw!), but as a proud and self-confident woman.

Quote from: AnnaSiciliana on October 03, 2014, 08:23:43 AM
Hi. I'm new here and I hope this is not a rude question or something. I'm not a transsexual, but just a lesbian writer, and one of my fiction story lines now features a male-to-female Trans-Woman, and I'd rather not fall victim to too many stereotypes, so instead of just portraying her as a gloryfied drag-queen, I'd be more interested in making a character that's actually credible and interesting. Right now, I'm not entirely sure about her sexual orientation and sadly I don't know enough trans-women personally to get any representative sample. Hence this poll.

I thought about this while being at the Gym this morning and the more I thought about this, the more i got upset. I mean,  one may consider this a mere overreaction and that´s your right to think so but to me it makes just sense.

So what I´m talking about? What do we get here?

You´re  a cis dyke doing research for your fictional story (a book, I guess?), which is basically a legitimate request. But the way you´re doing it appears inappropriate to me. You´re mixing up Drag Queens which are queer guys dressing up as women in an overly feminine manner, not to say as caricatures of women, while still having a male subconscious sex. This holds plainly not true for trans-women.

While not doing your homework by basic research on Transsexuality and what it means to be transsexual for individuals you´re categorizing  by assuming subliminal that all trans-women are somewhat "the same", which is also not true. We are different in personality, style and manner the same way cis-women are. There´s no evidence that trans-women are somewhat different from cis-women.

You don´t want to fall victim too many stereotypes, right? So falling victim to some stereotypes appears to be OK for you?

You have the chance to meet real trans-women here and talk with us about our unique experiences with the decency in a civilized society is required for such an undertaking and more so if it comes to deeply personal questions. You are not entitled to get answers but I think many of us are open to talk about their experiences to strangers more openly than others. Respect that.

Instead of doing so, you´re starting out with a poll getting straight ahead into our sexual lives. What gives you the right to inquire our sexual lives? Let´s put it the other way round. Someone intrudes a cis dyke forum on the internet, claiming doing some research and starting this with mixing up dykes with let´s say trans-men and a poll on the sexual lives of dykes. One may imagine the reactions you´ll get. But here, you think, we´re just some illustrative objects for your fantasy. We are not. We are not rats in a cage. Asking other people about their sexual lives in such a manner is not considered adequate in a civilized society. Why do you think you can get away with this behavior here?

Alright, I do not want to be mean honey, I´m just asking questions, right? And I guess, if you want to have some answers here, we are entitled to have some answers for our own questions, don´t you think so?

For myself, I have a lot of questions for you:

1 - Do you think, Trans-women are reinforcing "the gender binary" by being definitely female and feminine?

2- Do you consider Trans-Women as normal women but with a unique experience in their lives?

3- Do you prefer masculinity in women over feminity in women?

4- Do you think feminity is artificial compared to masculinity?

5- Do you consider it justified excluding Trans-women from women-only spaces (and feminist and queer circles) like it´s still happening way too often, regardless of T in LGBTQIA+?

6- Do you think being FAAB gives you a birth-right for defining who´s female and who´s not?

7- Do you consider Trans-Women as sexual and/or lifetime partners for your own?

8- Do you think Trans-Men are more "natural" than Trans-Women are?

9- What is the sole purpose for featuring a Trans-Woman in your story? What´s the essence? What do you want your audience to learn about that?

I´m quite curious if I got answers here and if so, I´m even more curious on the content.

Anna-Maria

Anna-Maria I like your questions and would be interested in hearing the answers myself. Its interesting to hear what cis geder think or know about the trans community. As you can see by my gender marker here how I see myself regardless of what my legal bianary is.

To me trans is just a term for the transition period and not who I am. I'm a proud woman and not a trans-woman. To me at least I feel I'm a woman whom has a broke X chromosome. 

Quote from: Releca on October 11, 2014, 11:33:09 AM
Anna-Maria I like your questions and would be interested in hearing the answers myself. Its interesting to hear what cis geder think or know about the trans community. As you can see by my gender marker here how I see myself regardless of what my legal bianary is.

To me trans is just a term for the transition period and not who I am. I'm a proud woman and not a trans-woman. To me at least I feel I'm a woman whom has a broke X chromosome.

Heyy Releca  :-* Also, for me being trans is a status rather than defining who I am, I´m a woman. Although, we have this basic trans experience and I´m not ashamed of this. It appears to be rather natural. What´s unnatural is our society that tries to deny the fact that, there are women and men born with the primary sexual characteristics of the other sex.

As I mentioned elsewhere previously, chromosomes alone can´t define your subconscious sex. Did you know that, the prevalence of cis-XY-women is really significant while there are also so called XX-men? In the former case the SRY is damaged or just inactive for undisclosed reasons, in the latter the SRY switched from Y to the X chromosome during meiosis?  Genes alone never can define who you are.

That´s why all this talking about "biological" women in contrast to trans-women is so awkward and hollow. Are we not biological women? Are XY-women no biological women? Are infertile women or women born without a womb and ovaries are no biological women ???  Of course, we are all biological women! And noone`s entitled to call us otherwise!

The intention for argumenting with biological women vs. trans-women, is just trying to disguise the reactionary conception of some people who think that only FAABs have the right to call themselves women. As if being a woman is a birth-right.

Do we have birth-rights in liberal and democtratic societies? No, we don´t and that´s for a good reason. What´s a political truth, holds also true when it comes to gender and sex. There is no birth-right and cis women have to come to recongnize that trans-women as biological and normal as they are. We just have a different story to tell.

xoxo

Anna-Maria

The OP registered, posted this, and has not been active basically since she made this thread. I wouldn't hold my breath that she's going to be back or listen to any of the answers, at this point; dedicated researchers generally don't abandon their sources for weeks on end. I have no idea what she was hoping to accomplish, but it looks like dialogue wasn't it.

Quote from: Jenna Marie on October 11, 2014, 12:08:55 PM
The OP registered, posted this, and has not been active basically since she made this thread. I wouldn't hold my breath that she's going to be back or listen to any of the answers, at this point; dedicated researchers generally don't abandon their sources for weeks on end. I have no idea what she was hoping to accomplish, but it looks like dialogue wasn't it.

Jenna-Marie, you´re right she never came back but anyway I think it was right to set out my opinion on this matter. I´m somewhat suspicious on the intention of cis women intruding this place. As I learned, in Lesbian circles the FAAB, trans-exclusionist, "omfg we are all panicking she used to have a cock" virus is endemic. When a cis-dyke strolls along here asking inappropriate questions in an inappropriate manner I´m getting upset. And I´m hot-blooded. I can´t stand injustice and insincerity where ever it raises its head. We all should be more cautious on incidents like this. This is a shelter for trans-women and not a laboratory for eccentric cis-dykes.

To forestall any accusation of being anti-cis. I´m with a bi-sexual cis girl and the most warm and cordially welcome after coming-out I had by straight cis-women. cis-dykes have a problem with us. But this should not be our problem. They should ask themselves what´s wrong in their perception.

Being queer doesn´t prevent you from being reactionary. As sad as it is.

xoxo

Anna-Maria

Quote from: Anna-Maria on October 11, 2014, 11:58:48 AM
That´s why all this talking about "biological" women in contrast to trans-women is so awkward and hollow. Are we not biological women? Are XY-women no biological women? Are infertile women or women born without a womb and ovaries are no biological women ???  Of course, we are all biological women! And noone`s entitled to call us otherwise!

http://www.quora.com/How-does-a-single-chromosome-make-all-the-difference-between-how-female-brains-and-male-brains-work (http://www.quora.com/How-does-a-single-chromosome-make-all-the-difference-between-how-female-brains-and-male-brains-work)

This link is a good article and shows the only real difference genetically. Every human on earth is female up until a certain point where a genetic change occurs making you born male. There is also a third gender where the Y chromosome is similar in size to the X and has a shorter arm going down. On the flip side the Y chromosome is shrinking and some believe it may be going away leaving an all female population. Not fully proven just a theory.

Back to the topic for the story are you making a book based on gender bending or gender transformation since sexual preference is the same for natural born or born different. We are whom we are and who we like stays the same. Some traits changes with hormone change but straight or gay is who you are and its something you know just like your gender is who you are and not if you choose it. We choose when but not if.

Anna-Maria : Oh, absolutely, you asked some very good questions, and it's all issues that deserve to be raised. I just didn't want you to get too invested in the idea that she'd be back to care...

(I'm fully supportive of cis women who appear here to figure out how to have or sustain a relationship with a trans person [man or woman], but I share your skepticism about those who want to treat us like lab rats.)

Quote from: Kaylee Angelia on October 10, 2014, 12:22:43 AM
I know what you mean about height Ally. I'm 5'6 and am "so" hoping to find someone taller than I am so I can know what it's like to stand on my tip-toes and reach up to kiss them. Sigh...  :-*

Hi Kaylee,

You and I are about the same height. In fact, I'm 5-5 so your 1" taller than me, lol!

Ally ;)

Quote from: Releca on October 11, 2014, 12:31:19 PM
http://www.quora.com/How-does-a-single-chromosome-make-all-the-difference-between-how-female-brains-and-male-brains-work (http://www.quora.com/How-does-a-single-chromosome-make-all-the-difference-between-how-female-brains-and-male-brains-work)

This link is a good article and shows the only real difference genetically. Every human on earth is female up until a certain point where a genetic change occurs making you born male. There is also a third gender where the Y chromosome is similar in size to the X and has a shorter arm going down. On the flip side the Y chromosome is shrinking and some believe it may be going away leaving an all female population. Not fully proven just a theory.

Back to the topic for the story are you making a book based on gender bending or gender transformation since sexual preference is the same for natural born or born different. We are whom we are and who we like stays the same. Some traits changes with hormone change but straight or gay is who you are and its something you know just like your gender is who you are and not if you choose it. We choose when but not if.

Thanks for sharing this link with me  :-* I got really into this since I came to accept myself as trans and susequently coming out. Since back then I´m reading everything on this I can get in my hands. I like to figure out thoroughly what´s the reason for being trans and this leads you into biology (evolutionary development and genetics).

What you´re pointing at is fundamentally right but by now genetics tend to create two species of humans, women and men. The process of creation, starting with meiosis in the male body by producing sperm (the male delivers either the Y or the X chromosome in his single sperm which is inflitrating the egg hence creating an XX chromosome set or an XY chromosome set, thus letting the embryo develop in each "inprogrammed" way. So far the truth we all have been teached in our biology classes.

But it´s not that easy. As the Dwyer- and de-la-Chapelle-Syndrome shows, one can develop in each direction reversely regardless your primary chromosomal setup. Not to mention the XXY-syndrome or Klinefelter-syndrome which inflicts logically only phenotypical males. Furthermore, recent studies show that the chromosomal setup can show up to 4 (!) chromosal  fixtures, like XXXY, XXYY, XYYY, XXY, XYY and so on. As long as there is one X chromosome the embryo will develop into a living human being. YY setups are inevitably dead.

Above all, these settings have no proven influence on brain development in the embryo, thus subconscious sex can differ from chromosomal sex, i.e. Transsexuality. And this is the most interesting but yet the most unexplored realm in evolutionary development. Scientists just don´t know exactly what makes the brain female. They consider hormonal fluctuations in the womb as a main reason for leaving a chromosomal  male baby with a female brain.

For example, the forefinger-ring finger relation is an indicator of testosterone in the womb and the embryo itself. Experiments with mice showed that, the ring finger posesses receptors for testosteron, thus the ringfinger grows longer under the influence of testosterone in the womb. That´s why most women have a longer forefinger rather than a longer ring finger and in males it´s exactly reverse. If I look at my hands, on both sides the forefinger is way longer than the ring finger, showing that I have not been exposed to testosterone in the womb as I should have been for developing fully as male. And I´m transsexual. Accident or context? I believe this no accident, although I don´t know my chromosomal setup. Do you? Mine will be examined by my Endo by end of this year and I´m quite curious ::).

Personally, I believe that, in most transsexuals the SRY is not completely working, thus sending signals to mother´s body for holding back the testosterone flooding which overwhelms the male embryo in the womb and therefore the brain will never be exposed to an amount of testosterone necessary for developing into a male brain.

Back to your initial statement. Every Embryo starts out as female and if something (genetically or hormonal) is not in the correct ratio, the child will be either transsexual or in other cases intersex. But this has yet to be proven scientifically.

xoxo

Anna-Maria

That's just one take on intersex.  I am waiting on my lab results to confirm I have Partial Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome.
Which means, I'm genetically,  male but hormonally I'm female.  I have hypogonadism, which means I should have a low t count, but even I Spiro I have a higher t count.

its not female in the beginning in the womb  , its both , both the mullerian and wolfian duct , then one regress or not grow depending on hormones .(for reproductives systems) 

Quote from: Sosophia on October 11, 2014, 03:35:41 PM
its not female in the beginning in the womb  , its both , both the mullerian and wolfian duct , then one regress or not grow depending on hormones .(for reproductives systems)

Granted, it´s somehow inaccurate to talk about Embryos being female or male in the beginning, but what makes the Embryo develop into a male child? It´s the SRY, a genetic trigger if you will. If the SRY is damaged or inactive for somewhat reason, the child will develop  inevitably into a female one regardless of the chromosomal setting. In other words, for developing into a male baby there has to be something "plus" while developing into a female baby is the straight way without a need for any "plus". From this point of view, the female condition is the basic condition unless SRY comes into play.

I have a boyfriend and have previously been with some men, but I also like women and have been with women. Really, anything goes for me but it depends on the person. I'm not sure I lean one way or another anymore.

@Anna-Maria You raise great some great points. I feel like the Trans* community is reaching a tipping point or a cross roads where we're still very open to dialogue and questions regarding who we are and are moving into a space of still welcoming dialogue but demanding the respect every human being deserves.

I'm sure as time moves on (hopefully) and people become more educated our sexuality will matter less and less and be seen as the private matter that it is.

Quote from: Ashey on October 11, 2014, 09:00:06 PM
I have a boyfriend and have previously been with some men, but I also like women and have been with women. Really, anything goes for me but it depends on the person. I'm not sure I lean one way or another anymore.

Oh then there's hope for me then huh Ashey?

I'm attracted to both cis and trans women and I could get interested in a few trans men given the right situation. My long term squeeze is cis and very pretty, someone I wouldn't let go of without a knock-down drag-out battle. I was dead to sex for a ten year period after the onset of my transition, but that has changed.

I'm attracted to Wife, so I guess cis-women.  She is my one and only.  When we were engaged, I told her about the dysphoria and not only did she still marry me, she's also very interested in seeing my women's fashion Pinterest I just mentioned to her. :p

Toodles from TN,
Ales

Quote from: Shantel on October 12, 2014, 12:27:12 PM
Oh then there's hope for me then huh Ashey?

:-*

Quote from: Ashey on October 12, 2014, 03:25:23 PM
:-*

I can tell that you're a soft touch for cute little amphibians doll face!  :-* Back at you!

Quote from: Shantel on October 12, 2014, 05:11:07 PM
I can tell that you're a soft touch for cute little amphibians...

  Hey, Shan, you seem pretty cool and all but that new avatar is kinda freaking me out! :-\

Quote from: Violet Bloom on October 12, 2014, 08:18:57 PM
  Hey, Shan, you seem pretty cool and all but that new avatar is kinda freaking me out! :-\

That's my halloween costume scardy cat, maybe I'll visit you tonight in your sleep, don't forget to look under your bed.  >:-)