Susan's Place Transgender Resources

So the other day I was talking to a friend who asked me what my middle name was and so I told her Michael and then she asked what it was before I chose Michael. I mean, she was polite enough about it and we're on good terms so I didn't mind telling her that it was Marie. And she thought on that for a little while and she asked "Did you ever think of just keeping Marie? Because Ian Marie [last name] sounds really good."

And I really hadn't thought of that. But now, I'm kind of thinking that might be like a nice homage back to the name my parents chose for me? And also a nice callback to my father who also had a traditionally feminine middle name? And I was already considering changing my middle name to something other than Michael because I'm not really attached to it. No one really finds out your middle names, right? Other than on like official documents or if you specifically tell them? And couldn't a feminine middle name just come off as like one of those weird parental naming quirks?

What do you guys think? Did you put a lot of thought into your middle name? How did you choose?

Ian Marie does have a nice ring to it, actually. I think of you like it you should go for it.

The middle name my parents gave me is Don, for my dad (I think they were actually expecting a boy and were just like eh, whatever) and I'm keeping it. Generally when people found out what it was and realized it wasn't't the feminine spelling they thought it was neat to mix the feminine and masculine names. I think the same is true in reverse, masculine first name and feminine middle name. Especially if it means something to you, I think you'll value it more in the long run than a name you aren't attached to.

Of course Ian Michael sounds really nice too. I think you'd be good either way.

I briefly thought of keeping Marie, as it can be unisex, but I never really liked it. Too tied to family naming traditions.

I'm thinking of Jason for a middle name (even though it doesn't seem like a middle name to me) because I love its meaning, "to heal." For various reasons I don't feel like it's right for my first name, but the meaning really stuck with me. I'm a sucker for meanings. Also considered Ramsay for a middle name, as it apparently means "wild garlic island."

Ian M. sounds good in general, so you have some good options there. Go for what feels good, sounds good, and means something to you.

I didn't put a terrible amount of thought into my middle name.. I considered just using the masculine form (which ironically was Michael  :laugh: And my parents were going to name me Ian "if I was born a boy"), but I didn't like it enough to use it.

Awhile after I picked my first name (Robin), though, when I was looking for a name that flowed well with my first and last name (which I'm keeping), the name "Gale" suddenly popped into my head, and I loved it. So I've pretty much settled on Robin Gale.  :D

I believe in french Marie can be a male name :) Ian Marie does have a nice ring

My middle name now is Pan. I did put a lot into it. My mom's middle name was Ann and so was mine. I didn't like having a girls name but I didn't want to lose that tie to my mom. She's dead and the idea of removing that link bothered me. So, I started thinking of names that had -an. Dan didn't do it for me.  I feel a deep connection with the Greek god is Pan. I've also also felt a connection with Peter Pan. They share a certain quality of...magic and wildness  And it also reminds me that while I'm transitioning to be male, I'm also rather pangender. So how's that for a lot of meaning packed into a name?

My middle name was male from birth - named after my dad.  So I just kept it. 

I've been thinking about middle names a lot recently. For some reason -- and this is borderline inexplicable -- it's really important to me that I end up with two middle names, just like I have now (First Middle Mom's Surname Dad's Surname). Instead of picking names that start with the same letter, I've really tried to preserve cadence instead.

I considered moving my birth name to the middle, as it's one of those technically-unisex-but-never-used-for-dudes-these-days names, but the flow is awful with Cameron. Today, while I was driving, I decided that if/when I come out to my parents, I'll ask my father to pick. Of course, that means I'll probably end up with Bruce in the middle. Definitely not the sexiest name I've ever heard, but it seems to be the family name of choice on his side. Or maybe I'll ask my mom and go for something super Iranian, like my current middle name. Ugh, see, even just talking about this has got me going back and forth.  :D

For you, honestly, if it won't grate on you to be called Ian Marie, I do think it sounds nice. I'd like it less if you hadn't said the thing about your dad. I think that makes it sort of cool, having a bonding point over the girly middle name thing, boy named Sue style.

My initial plan for my middle name was to go with my second choice for first name.  I.e. my favorite name will by my first name, and my second favorite name will be my middle name.  That is how I would name a baby, so that if they hated their first name, they would have a respectable second choice.  For myself, however, I'm picking my own first name and I know that I like it, so I don't really need a back-up first name.  That frees me to pick a middle name based on its meaning or family tradition.  I am considering asking my parents to select the name for me.  If that doesn't happen, I will select a name that flows well with my first and last name.  The middle name doesn't really need to stand alone.  I want my three names to sound melodious together. 

I have also considered keeping my current female middle name, as a sign that I'm not abandoning everything I have been up to this point.  I think a guy with a masculine first name and a feminine middle name is kinda cool.  Most people won't hear your middle name unless you tell them, and even then you could use that opportunity to reveal your history, or you could easily pass it off as a quirky family thing.  So I like Ian Marie.

I had quite clearly a feminine middle name so I never even thought about keeping it. I suppose it is unisex somewhere around the world, though but up here in the north there's no hint of that.

I was pretty straight-forward with both of my names, I didn't really consider alternatives. My middle name is Johannes and it's obviously derived from the Bible (English version would be John) but that was never my reason for choosing it. I had just always really liked the name, it's clearly a masculine name and it also was my grandfather's middle name. Even more reason to choose it is that the common nickname for Johannes is Jussi (which is also a common first name as well) and my mom told me she would've named me that had I been born with the right set of chromosomes.

All in all, it rhymes well with my first name and last name so what else could I ask for. :D

I put a lot of thought into my middle name. Names are identifiers and can help define your personality. I did not have the option to keep my middle or first name but if I had the option I would have liked to. One of the hardest things for me was trying to find a name that I felt properly honored and respected to my mother. Your name will be your first identifier for the rest of your natural life and beyond. Not many people rename themselves - take this opportunity to really thing about what fits your vision for yourself.

I noticed in my original name that my first name was English while my middle name was Spanish (which is what I was always referred to in my family) so I just went with the same pattern. Marcel Luis.

My middle name is very feminine, but it's after my grandmother who helped to raise me, so I'm changing the 'a' ending to an 'o' ending, which turns it into a rare but existing masculine name.  My first name is already masculine (luckily) so I'm keeping it.

I considered keeping my middle name (Rose) but it's just too girly and I don't really feel a particular attachment to it.

Instead I asked my parents to pick a new middle name for me. The only rules being that it has to be either masculine or neutral, and preferably starting with R to keep my initials the same.

I put mine as Michael because it's not only my dads middle name, but its also my grandfather's name. I think it made it easier to accept for both generations.

I never had a middle name.. Always wanted one so I picked Jamieson it's got a nice ring to it and sounds good with my first and last name

My current middle name is my former first name. Robyn is unisex, so I was considering keeping it as my first name, but I got sick of people saying it was the feminine spelling long before I realized I was trans and I figured it would make it harder to be gendered correctly. It's kind of annoying. The only other people I've met named Robyn with that spelling are both men and people misgender me even after meeting me as Victor.

I took an old family name for my middle name. MacGregor.

My middle name's just my dad's name. He has nothing to do with us anymore, and feelings are a little bitter, but it's since dropped any sort of sentimentality and is really just a name that we like and works well.

Middle names are fun because you really can get away with really being as creative, unusual or even downright weird as you want without raising any eyebrows. A lot of parents tend to reserve their more "unusual" name choices for the middle, so it's not going to seem out of the ordinary.

I've never heard of Marie as a boy's name, but that's not a criticism — just an observation! It's really up to you to be honest, based on your confidence in the name. You probably will get some people you've told asking you if it's a girl's name, but not necessarily because they "suspect" anything, just as a matter of curiousity. If you're prepared to deal with that and are confident it won't cause you any emotional difficulty further down the line, then there's no reason you shouldn't roll with it.

I'd say just give the matter some careful thought and certainly don't feel you need to decide immediately. There's no reason you can't change it later, but you'd ideally want to avoid too much hassle for yourself later on.

I was going to go with Gordon, after my dead granddad, as a middle name, but then realised that since my first name is James I'd be James Gordon, aka the Batman character. My parents are both very pro middle names meaning something (my legal middle name was both my grandmother and my great grandmothers name) but I can't think of anything else that fits to be honest.

Ian Marie actually sounds really good together, even though I've also not heard Marie used a male name unless it's double barreled, like Jean-Marie.

My middle name will be a combination of Japanese anime names that I considered being my first name.

My birth middle name I guess is gender neutral, but I always hated it--and to be perfectly honest; my birth name sounded completely trashy and it makes my skin crawl thinking about it.

I went all over the map with middle names. I thought about Tobias (for my dad), Jackson (for my "stepdad"), Jason, Joshua (what my mom would have named me) and Mason (which I kept for at least a year). I ended up going with Jerick as a tribute to someone I look up to; and I've had it since early 2013 I think.