Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I mean if I don't it's all fine and dandy ... Is it harder for older cis women to find it so I'm sure it's hard for us to find it ? I play this strong can't be beaten role so much when I get dumped for saying what I am ... ( or they just want the experience which I gave up ) ... I'm 39 and I look younger like 22 so dudes that age or younger always want me ... But , uh ok I'm beginning to ramble ... And I'm getting into my feelings ... Stevie here in Alaska keep me calm at times and she tried to set me up with a guy but I think I have a lil bit of pride to not giving in and letting out my emotions ...

I wonder this exact same thing. I ask myself the question "Have I just made it 10,000 times more difficult to meet someone". I mean I've never had any problems meeting girls when I was a boy, so should meeting girls now I'm a girl be any harder? I think it will be. My girlfriend broke up with me as soon as I told her I was trans.
Unfortunately I'm not into men, just girls. So that would mean I'm looking for a lesbian right? But lesbian women generally hate men don't they, and would they just see me as another man?
I've decided meeting another trans girl might be better for me, that way we will at least not be after the experience. Oh and I get your point about that, and I never want to be someone's fantasy, it's just not me.
Now I'm rambling. But don't worry Tina, I'm sure we'll meet someone and fall in love.

Bree

I will say.

Yes,maybe,no.

Comes down to what effort that is put into finding what you wish.

We just add a little baggage but that can be worked through with honest communication.

Love found me, when I wasn't even looking for it. She didn't care about my past, she didn't care I was non-op. She loved me for me. Sadly, she passed away in May last year.

Quote from: BreezyB on October 06, 2014, 12:43:35 AM
Unfortunately I'm not into men, just girls. So that would mean I'm looking for a lesbian right? But lesbian women generally hate men don't they, and would they just see me as another man?
I've decided meeting another trans girl might be better for me, that way we will at least not be after the experience.

Lesbians don't hate men, we just don't want to get in to relationships with them or sleep with them. And as to whether they see you as a man, well, my experience is no, they don't.. At least not in any greater or lesser number than anyone else.

Quote from: kelly_aus on October 06, 2014, 01:13:36 AM
Love found me, when I wasn't even looking for it. She didn't care about my past, she didn't care I was non-op. She loved me for me. Sadly, she passed away in May last year.

Lesbians don't hate men, we just don't want to get in to relationships with them or sleep with them. And as to whether they see you as a man, well, my experience is no, they don't.. At least not in any greater or lesser number than anyone else.

I so sorry to hear that Kelly, that must have been difficult, and no doubt still is.

And thankyou, you've restored my faith that a woman will not view me as a man :icon_pelvic_thrust2:

Quote from: kelly_aus on October 06, 2014, 01:13:36 AM
Love found me, when I wasn't even looking for it. She didn't care about my past, she didn't care I was non-op. She loved me for me. Sadly, she passed away in May last year.

Lesbians don't hate men, we just don't want to get in to relationships with them or sleep with them. And as to whether they see you as a man, well, my experience is no, they don't.. At least not in any greater or lesser number than anyone else.

Kelly, I'm so sorry for your loss.  :-\
I know lesbians don't hate men.. Just idiot men like everyone else does.!
By far my very closest friends have been lesbians, something about being a straight guy, and being atracted to the same thing(other women) makes us very compatible, and removes all that sexual tension from the relationship.
I'm sorry thats not the kind of true love you're looking for Bree. :-\

Quote from: Mark3 on October 06, 2014, 05:08:25 AM

I'm sorry thats not the kind of true love you're looking for Bree. :-\

But that's the thing Mark, it is exactly what I want. I don't need to meet a cis woman to find true love. I just mean I'm only physically attracted to women, be it a trans woman or cis. Sex use to be important, but since starting my transition it's completely different, in a different level.

It was the humping smily wasn't it  ;D

I hope you do, I really hope you do. I look around me at the relationships of my family, friends and people I know and I sometimes wonder how many people find it anyway.  I see couples that describe themselves as happy argue over trivia, people who flirt even though they identify as 'taken', people who think it's normal to scream at each other and it saddens me.

I am 38 now and I met my soul mate when I was 31, we met in an online social environment called second life, the place has its faults and its complications but it has a lot of good people looking for love or just looking for acceptance there, in fact Second life helped me begin my transition too as it is easy to gain acceptance as a whatever you wish to identify yourself as there.

I guess what I am saying is if you open yourself to as many different sources as you can hopefully love will find you. I wasn't looking for it when I met my other half but I am SO glad I was in the right place at the right time....

Good luck hun

Alice
xx

Quote from: BreezyB on October 06, 2014, 05:42:39 AM
It was the humping smily wasn't it  ;D

Lol, I may have been actually referring to Tina.?
It was really early in the morning, and my brain was still half asleep.
Haha, cute smilies Bree.  ;D

It's been really frustrating for me.

But here's the way I look at it:

I'm bright, sexy, funny, interesting, financially independent, supportive, caring, loving, and good in bed. I have a lot to offer, so there must be a lot of people out there who would want someone like me.

If I could just find them

im not trying to gather points, so dont erase me - there is a lot helpful post here today - but i have to join in this one - finding love, i know it happens just not for me - i can drag in all of the horn dogs i want, you know the type, one night stands and you never see them again till months later and they call "can we get together, you was so awesome last time", even though not one phone call or text from them in 6 months. so my replay is always the same;

"f#*k off horn dog, and quit cheating on your wife"...

i wish i could laugh at that but it hurts too much...

and it really sucks being lonely, so i just work my arse off to not think about it... maybe we need a thread of successful relationships :)

Quote from: Alaena_okc on October 06, 2014, 11:33:47 AM
im not trying to gather points, so dont erase me - there is a lot helpful post here today - but i have to join in this one - finding love, i know it happens just not for me - i can drag in all of the horn dogs i want, you know the type, one night stands and you never see them again till months later and they call "can we get together, you was so awesome last time", even though not one phone call or text from them in 6 months. so my replay is always the same;

"f#*k off horn dog, and quit cheating on your wife"...

i wish i could laugh at that but it hurts too much...

and it really sucks being lonely, so i just work my arse off to not think about it... maybe we need a thread of successful relationships :)

My life story !!

Quote from: Alaena_okc on October 06, 2014, 11:33:47 AM

and it really sucks being lonely, so i just work my arse off to not think about it... maybe we need a thread of successful relationships :)

It really does. But great idea Alaena, I'm sure there are lots of success stories out there

And who needs a dating site when im already talking to all you beautiful girls everyday  :icon_flower:

Quote from: BreezyB on October 07, 2014, 06:04:12 AM
...And who needs a dating site when im already talking to all you beautiful girls everyday  :icon_flower:

Lol, oh you!  Stop flirting you'll make the rest of us blush! :icon_love: :D ♥︎*Hugs*♥︎

@OP: aww hunni, I've read about many people around here who are happily in love, so it's not as hard as it perhaps seems.  As Alice pointed out, it's good to spread your net wide by getting involved in a bunch of communities.  Online (forums, reputable dating sites and video games) are all great ways to get connected.  I'm in Second Life myself and it's really easy to make friends there, and there seems to be a general mantra within the community that people love each other for personality rather than physical looks.  If you're a gamer type, it's definitely worth checking out :) ♥︎

As for Second Life I end up meeting so many people (( careful there some with one thing on their mind https://www.susans.org/forums/Smileys/susans/icon_censored.gif )) Meeting someone with common goals and likes in life is big plus. Sure taking the time to invest any romantic feelings into someone that will hopefully bloom into true love is risky no matter who you are trans or not. There is a big world out there and you never know unless you try. ;D As I am not looking. Friends are welcome! I have learned over the years to be a bit guarded about myself.  ;) Good luck to everyone who is in the search and I wish everyone that they find true Love! :-*   

im still trying to discover if i should be looking for a genetic female, str8t male, cross dresser or another women such as myself - so far i lean towards another women such as myself, at least we would have something in common - dont get me wrong, cause im not looking at all, its just too disappointing - i get my hopes up then nothing, which makes it hard on my confidence and im so tired of of being disappointed...

i seem to be more happy when im not looking, so i just figure if it happens then great and what a glorious day it would be to feel love again - the last love was a genetic female when i first came out - she was kewl with me being transgendered, but when i showed her by shaving my legs and put on a pair of panties it hit her hard with reality and her commit was, im so sorry but i need a mans man and left me...

thats when i did something really stupid and went on drinking benge at a gay bar in fresno and got raped and brutally tortured - thats when i hit the bottom hard, if it wasnt for my family i dont know what i would of done or where i would be at this point...

so now a days i just say to hell with it and pray that i wont be alone for ever, till then im happy with the way it is...

the being raped thing is a thread i really need to start, dangers of dating wackoos at a bar...

I am so sorry Alaena, no one ever ever ever should have that happen to them. I hope you are as ok as one could be following such a horrific ordeal. I'm actually nearly speechless as it just makes me sick to think that could happen to anyone. I want to give you a big hug  :icon_hug:

Yes I think a thread would benefit everyone.

Don't worry Alaena, I think love finds us when we least expect it. Look, and we don't find, don't look, and it finds us. It's a strange phenomenon but it's always been the way I've met people.

Quote from: BreezyB on October 08, 2014, 08:36:23 AM
Don't worry Alaena, I think love finds us when we least expect it. Look, and we don't find, don't look, and it finds us. It's a strange phenomenon but it's always been the way I've met people.

I was not looking to the point my last partner had to almost beat me around the head before I noticed she was there..

Quote from: kelly_aus on October 08, 2014, 08:42:12 AM
I was not looking to the point my last partner had to almost beat me around the head before I noticed she was there..

Lol, yep that's the way I find it works best. You were clearly a keeper though Kelly, she made you notice her  ;)

To answer the OP's question, for me, nope. I've given up. I'm so tired of giving my heart out just to get it smashed to pieces. I also doubt in this day and age if there even is such a thing as "true love."

Ally :-\

Quote from: BreezyB on October 08, 2014, 08:53:14 AM
Lol, yep that's the way I find it works best. You were clearly a keeper though Kelly, she made you notice her  ;)

I thought I was being played.. So I threw out a very corny line and she went for it..  8)

Damn I miss her.   :'(

Quote from: kelly_aus on October 09, 2014, 02:23:54 AM
I thought I was being played.. So I threw out a very corny line and she went for it..  8)

Damn I miss her.   :'(

I bet you do Kelly  :icon_cry:

Sooo, what was the line? It clearly works  :)

Quote from: BreezyB on October 09, 2014, 03:29:05 AM
I bet you do Kelly  :icon_cry:

Sooo, what was the line? It clearly works  :)

The line? 'Next time I see you I'm going to push you against the nearest wall and kiss you.'

Which is exactly what she did to me a couple of hours later.

Quote from: kelly_aus on October 09, 2014, 03:30:45 AM
The line? 'Next time I see you I'm going to push you against the nearest wall and kiss you.'

Which is exactly what she did to me a couple of hours later.

Nice, I'll try that one and let you know how it goes  ;)

It all depends really. For example, what are you looking for in the relationship/body/mind/sex life? For me, I don't know except in terms of sex life I know what I like and what I don't so, this makes it VERY tricky for me to be with a woman given what I'm into and needing yet I know I like women.

It's not that I think there is just one true love out there in the world for someone. I think there are like 5,000 true loves out there for everyone. The difficult part is finding one of those 5,000 in this huge world. There are thousands of people in this world that you can find true happiness with. Some day if your lucky you will turn the corner at the grocery store and one will be standing in front of you :)

@MrKarl: I completely agree, which is why I think socialising online (either via forums like this one, in online games, and/or on dedicated dating sites) is so valuable because you can meet tonnes of people from all around the world in a very short space of time, increasing your chances of meeting "one of the ones" ;) Flip a coin once, and you have a 50/50 chance that it will land on the side you picked.  Flip it 100 times and you're practically guaranteed it'll land on the side you picked at least once.  The same philosophy can be extend to things like this too, although obviously the numbers are much bigger lol.  You can roll the dice as many times as you like, you only need to get lucky once :)

I guess that's not a very romantic way of looking at it (I mean, it's no "star-crossed lovers" or anything lol :P ) but it is a rather reassuring one :) ♥︎

I agree Kira, those areas of social media has been great in meeting people, but it just seems that the ones i feel are my soul mates, always seem to live to far away and neither willing to relocate - i know a few that do... im just dug in too far too deep, plus i love oklahoma i wont leave her, i tried once, what a disaster, so i moved back vowing never to leave again...

Haha yeh, there is that aspect to it.  Personally I have a hard time seeing myself moving away from the country I was born in too (UK if you're curious :) ).  But hay, at least you would've made the first step in finding someone special - actually finding them lol!  The rest is just working out how to actually be together.  And if you can't figure it out between you then pretty much by definition - they weren't "one of the ones", even if you felt strongly for each other.  There's an element of "right place, right time" to it in my opinion :) ♥︎

Quote from: KiraD on October 10, 2014, 11:22:46 AM
There's an element of "right place, right time" to it in my opinion :) ♥︎

Sooo right! If my fella and I had met at a different time it simply would not have worked, he was coming out of therapy and feeling better about his needs and I was coming out of my failed marriage. Plus he was coming to the UK for a year to teach and it was only because of the timing that I could invite him to come stay as a friend, then it blossomed from there.

Met him in second life.

Alice
xx

the hard part is when i cant seem to find a lover, how it wears me down and depresses me to a state of self destruction - ive been to long with no one to hold and love, to the point that if i met my soul mate, i would probably fall apart...

all i know is when i try, i end up trying to hard and actually end up pushing them away, as ive done to many times before...

its like i cant win when it comes to love :(

Quote from: Alaena_okc on October 14, 2014, 09:12:21 AM
the hard part is when i cant seem to find a lover, how it wears me down and depresses me to a state of self destruction - ive been to long with no one to hold and love, to the point that if i met my soul mate, i would probably fall apart...

its like i cant win when it comes to love :(

^^___^^I know all too well how you feel. I'm even to the point where I doubt if true love even exists anymore. If someone were to express true love to me I'd prolly have a heart attack.  :'(

Ally :icon_cry:

Well i see we are mostly all in the same boat - to that I wish for us all to find the soul mate that will make our lives fulfilled and to fill that empty void that keeps digging at us

"OUR DAY WILL COME"  :)

HUGGS and XOXO's to us ALL!!!

I like to think I am pretty amazing :P

I have not as yet, found anyone to date me yet, much less true love. I did get separated about a year ago, but I have totally moved on....So far I have been up front about being trans, and it hasn't really netted me any real attention. I am not finding Lesbians who hate me, merely ones who don't want to talk to me. I don't really care if a woman is trans or cis, but none of the transwomen locally have been interested either (not that I know but a few).

I am sure I will find the right woman for me eventually.

Love is over rated. If there is one thing I have learned, its that I am better off alone. No one can break your heart that way. And true love, does not exist. it's a myth. Love always comes with strings attached.

Quote from: Rainbow Brite on October 15, 2014, 04:12:01 PM
Love is over rated. If there is one thing I have learned, its that I am better off alone. No one can break your heart that way. And true love, does not exist. it's a myth. Love always comes with strings attached.

After two marriages and lots of observation, I tend to agree with that.

I gave up on love...just don't really care anymore. I got tired of all the BS that come with dating. Now I am pretty bitter about it. If I need sex I have vibrators that do wonders.

Quote from: Rainbow Brite on October 15, 2014, 04:12:01 PM
Love is over rated. If there is one thing I have learned, its that I am better off alone. No one can break your heart that way. And true love, does not exist. it's a myth. Love always comes with strings attached.

^^___^^ I couldn't agree more with the exception of being better off alone. I always do better with someone to share my life with. However as I've stated earlier, I don't believe true love exists anymore, and all this talk about there being someone out there for everyone -pure hogwash. Maybe in the past these things existed but by my experience not anymore. All people are looking for now a days is someone they can take advantage of.

Ally ;)

Quote from: Allyda on October 17, 2014, 08:51:46 AM
^^___^^ I couldn't agree more with the exception of being better off alone. I always do better with someone to share my life with. However as I've stated earlier, I don't believe true love exists anymore, and all this talk about there being someone out there for everyone -pure hogwash. Maybe in the past these things existed but by my experience not anymore. All people are looking for now a days is someone they can take advantage of.

Ally ;)

I look at love for exactly what it is, elevated levels of oxytocin over time in forming close, romantic social bonds that will never last. The notion of love is a facade, a joke, and a big fat lie. In the last five years I've went on one date because I was "considering dating again" and it's always the same old cliche. I think I can say that I hate the concept of love...absolutely hate it. As long as I can find someone to rub y legs, knees and toes I am good. That, fortunately, is not hard to do.

Wow! I thought I was the only one who was bitter and jaded.i wasnt always that way and I'm sure you folks weren't either.

Quote from: Rainbow Brite on October 17, 2014, 11:26:08 AM
Wow! I thought I was the only one who was bitter and jaded.i wasnt always that way and I'm sure you folks weren't either.

You are right, I was not always like this.

this is sad to hear my sisters talk about giving up on love - i know it shouldnt be the driving force of our lives, but it shouldnt be disregarded either.

im speaking for myself only, but im not giving up, im just setting my sights on a different kind of person, the TG type, either FTM or MTF is the only choice for me, and reason being is,

ive been with men, who claimed they loved me... wanted sex every f*#king day/night, i was starting to feel like a f*#k doll. sorry to be so blunt...

ive been with a bi sexual women, who loved me... but felt uneasy out in public... which eventually destroyed our relationship...

gays want nothing to do with us sexually or relationships...

lesbian have always been nice to me, but never indicated they wanted me as a lover...

str8t women, want a mans man...

CD's pretty much most of them are married - if your a CD, just be frakin honest when you reply to this thread and tell me if your not married, and not dressing behind her back...

im not judging - just exposing my own experiences...

i still need someone - and that leaves only us TS/TG community folks - who else would totally understand what im going through and appreciate me as a person and a lover - i really hope that we all find that someone, i just know what my preferences are, and im in no hurry generally,  but during the holidays is when i feel the pain the worse, and you ladies and gentlemen know what im talking about, that pain of loneliness, so i really hate this time of the year...

:) but i will always keep a small door open in my heart for a lover...

I really hate this time of year myself. Especially because my 50th birthday is on the 31st of this month, a birthday I'll celebrate alone.

Lonely? I'm so so lonely it hurts. I think about it and all I wanna do is cry. And I do, usually until my tears dry up. Likewise tho I'm tired of being used by a person who's supposed to love me. Which is what happened during the final 6 months of my last long term relationship. This happening along with my inability to be sexually intimate with her due to my crippling genital dysphoria is what ended our 4 & 1/2 year relationship. The latter will be corrected with my upcoming SRS. However the fear of being used again, and/or emotional hurt will always hang over me.

Ally :icon_flower:

I don't celebrate birthdays outside of my son's. Not mine or anyone elses'. SRS might alleviate gender dysphoria, but it does not help in the dating world in "getting" a date or intimate partner.

Allyda, your still young, ive hit 58 years old myself, but anyway Pre Happy Birthday Sugar - I really wish there was a str8t answer for us, im not sure if we are cursed for having this gender disphoria thing or not, but if you have a peer support group in your area or State, you really should go sister, it always made me feel better and if they have get together like picnics, bike riding, etc., you should really join and be part of their activities, if they dont have one then start one... i promise it will make you feel better and perhaps meet someone there...

what i hate is when im interested in someone, they never seem to be interested in me, i get my hopes up just to be let down hard, when that happens i goto my friends and fellow sisters and brothers of the TG community and it all seems to be smoothed over cause of it...

there is dating sites for transgendered people, where you can at least meet others in your area...

the best thing is the peer support groups...

Quote from: Allyda on October 17, 2014, 02:16:29 PM
a birthday I'll celebrate alone.

Not while I am still here. We can have a PM birthday party!!  :icon_birthday: :icon_drunk: :icon_caffine: :icon_woowoo: :icon_yes:

You won't be totally alone at all. Of course maybe I am just happy because you are a year older then me Grammy!  ;D

Alaena and Jess,

Thanks y'all, you made me feel a little better. Remember, Oct. 31st is my 50th anniversary of my being 35. Hey I look like I'm only 35, or so I'm told, so why not run with it!

Now, where did I put my Geritol??, lol! :D

Ally :icon_flower:

Quote from: Allyda on October 17, 2014, 04:23:26 PM
Now, where did I put my Geritol??, lol! :D

Silly it's next to your Ensure on the other side of your walker!  ::)

I had someone I loved dearly. He's on this forum in fact. I was trying to get the ball rolling so that my son would never again be homeless And then he and I could be together. I want my Son to have the upbringing I that I never got because I was an Army Brat. It's a cycle that still affects me today. My Son and his Mother will finally have a home they can call their own. Ultimately... I was too late. I can't compete with a cis girl anyway. What can I offer him more than hugs and kisses and to snuggle with him at night, which I loved so much! But, I lost him. But he is my best friend. I trust him more than myself. I can't let him leave my life. I'll get over the breakup in time, sure. but I am not going through this again with anyone else. My driving instructor is interested in me. he still wants to meet for "coffee". I have half a mind to let him have his way with me in exchange for my CDL. I just want to drive. go on a lifetime road trip.

i met someone too, another TG women here in the city, the problem is she is going through a lot herself with a divorce from her genetic female partner, and is scheduled for her SRS next month - the other problem, im afraid to get close to her because i dont think i can risk my heart getting broken again, id rather be lonely compared to going through that again. we spent some time together last saturday, i was teaching her to how to ride my electric motorcycle, then we had lunch at hooters here in bricktown, it was a awesome time.

but its like we are walking on glass with each other, trying not to break any pieces. i just dont know what to do, at this moment we are just keeping it as sisters, which to me is more like the women in my life telling me they want to be friends only...

friends are good, but i need a lover, and i want her to be that to me - in other words i want to be the one that makes her smile, not just because we are friends, but beause we love each other...

as usual i came close a couple times, where i did the try to hard thing and almost pushed her away twice - i am spun out so bad that i dont know what direction im heading in anymore...  :'(

ok, i know what everyone is gonna say "take my time, if it is meant to happen it will", but that wont help me now...

im screwed...

Quote from: Alaena_okc on October 21, 2014, 01:40:50 PM
i met someone too, another TG women here in the city, the problem is she is going through a lot herself with a divorce from her genetic female partner, and is scheduled for her SRS next month - the other problem, im afraid to get close to her because i dont think i can risk my heart getting broken again, id rather be lonely compared to going through that again. we spent some time together last saturday, i was teaching her to how to ride my electric motorcycle, then we had lunch at hooters here in bricktown, it was a awesome time.

but its like we are walking on glass with each other, trying not to break any pieces. i just dont know what to do, at this moment we are just keeping it as sisters, which to me is more like the women in my life telling me they want to be friends only...

friends are good, but i need a lover, and i want her to be that to me - in other words i want to be the one that makes her smile, not just because we are friends, but beause we love each other...

as usual i came close a couple times, where i did the try to hard thing and almost pushed her away twice - i am spun out so bad that i dont know what direction im heading in anymore...  :'(

ok, i know what everyone is gonna say "take my time, if it is meant to happen it will", but that wont help me now...

im screwed...

Alaena, ^^___^^ You pretty much summed up the whole of how I feel on the subject, including the sexual component, or rather lack thereof in my last serious relationship which, may or may not have ended I dunno(even tho I broke it off with her, she keeps coming around wanting things with us back the way they were). I'm so so tired of letting someone into my heart only to have it smashed to itty bitty pieces. Also, However as I'm still pre-op(I'm cleared for SRS and will be having it soon), my problem with being intimate and what made me push her away every time she tried is my severe crippling genital dysphoria.

Until I have my SRS, I'm condemned to live a life of loneliness. :icon_cry:

Ally :icon_flower:

If there is one thing I learned, it's that it always comes down to sex. if you don't have the right bits, it wont work out.

Quote from: Rainbow Brite on October 22, 2014, 06:21:34 PM
If there is one thing I learned, it's that it always comes down to sex. if you don't have the right bits, it wont work out.

Shame you've had that experience, because it's quite different to my own..

Quote from: kelly_aus on October 22, 2014, 08:01:44 PM
Shame you've had that experience, because it's quite different to my own..

Then you've been quite lucky. ^_^

Quote from: Rainbow Brite on October 22, 2014, 06:21:34 PM
If there is one thing I learned, it's that it always comes down to sex. if you don't have the right bits, it wont work out.

You might be right, our opinions might differ on what the 'right bits' are though.  For me the mind and the heart are bits that matter (that's how my partner feels too)

Alice
xx

If I am honest I have given up on love and just accepted I will always be alone, part of my problem is I can't tell when I am attracted to someone or if I even can be, besides all that I highly doubt there is anyone for me, even if my being trans isn't an issue I have so many other problems that would put people off that I dare not even entertain the idea someone could be attracted to me. The only relationships I have had have either been using me for their own means or emotionally abusive. So yes while I am not that old(feel it) I have given up on love.

I think this thread may have gotten somewhat maybe slightly off topic. (Going off of the name that is) To answer the question though

Not if you have the attitude/mindset that you won't.
You may if you keep looking
Love comes when you least expect it
Add another line here which I know I'm forgetting. lol ^_^;

More idiom cliches. Love is the result of cohesive social bonds and elevated levels of oxytocin because of said social bonds. Attraction leads to developing said social bonds thus, eventually culminating into love.  Therefore, love comes whenever those social bonds become highly cohesive in individuals. Also, love can come with any type of personality or behavioral expressions. People fall in love with murderers, rapists, woman beaters, and extremely antisocial or psychologically unstable people all the time.

OMG Natalie, you remind me so much of  Piper, a good friend of mine, you two think very much a like, :)

but your right, its like the lotto, you cant win if you dont play the game...

you must become a social butterfly to meet others, never go out looking for it, just let it happen.

or stay home and eventually you will meet someone "NOT".

just try your best to be yourself and dont stick your foot in your mouth like i do over and over again, and be patient, something i need to learn myself...

I have realized that my transition and my age have put me in a place where I am very unlikely ever to find true love again. I had it once, but she decided she needed a "real man"^tm and the person she fell in love with could no longer protect her from stuff like big scary bugs that needed squishing  ::) (she actually told me that).

I also think that love tends to find us when we aren't looking and we don't expect it, so I haven't given up all hope.

My strategy is just to keep myself very busy and try not to think about it too much.

Quote from: Eva Marie on October 27, 2014, 09:02:41 AM
I have realized that my transition and my age have put me in a place where I am very unlikely ever to find true love again.

This is sad. I hope that's not true, because you're such a giving person, I'm sure there are many people for whom you'd be the perfect fit.

The way I see it, I've probably decreased the odds. Maybe before 1 in 100 were right for me, now it's dropped to, maybe, 1 in 1,000.

That means there are plenty of people out there who would be right for me, but finding one of them is a difficult challenge.

i hear you Eva, thats pretty much where im at...

so what happens when i finally got the love bite, i rushed like a mad dog towards her, and almost lost her completely, i still dont have a lover, but im hopeful that one day i will too...

but i still have my friend, i guess that's the most important thing :) at this moment...

I just hope that after my SRS I can find the courage to give it one more try. At least I won't have my crippling genital dysphoria preventing me from being intimate with my partner. But is there one woman out there who is not looking to take advantage of me? I'm so so tired of feeling used by someone who is supposed to love me. Is there a woman out there who is real?

We'll see.

Ally :icon_flower:

I would say you might have a harder time finding someone, but when you do it will more likely be "true" love or as close as it gets to that. After transitioning, you are finally the person you always were, but on the outside as well, fully, without hiding it from others. I was married to a lovely woman for six years before I transitioned, and I loved her dearly but my relationships these days are far closer for the simple reason that I can be who I truly am, whereas with her I always had to hide one of the largest facets of my inner self. I think you might find something similar. Good luck!

Thanks, I know I'll surely need it.

I got my friend here from Ga. who is going to help me both pre, and post-op SRS. This was the last thing standing in the way of my scheduling. So next week I'll schedule my consults and I'm finally back on track (the only surgeon that accepts my insurance wouldn't do virtual consults, and they're 4-1/2, to 5 hours away, so I had to wait on my friend to schedule them). I just hope all goes well this time. I can't take many more delays.

Ally :icon_flower: