Susan's Place Transgender Resources

http://lexiecannes.com/2014/10/07/facebook-transgender-suicide-post-hoax-looks-that-way/

LEXIE CANNES STATE OF TRANS — On Oct. 1st, trans woman Kate von Roeder posted this on Facebook: "Goodbye, I'm killing myself." She also tweeted something similiar on Twitter. And hasn't been heard from since. Her earlier posts talked of buying a gun.

Kate's friends replied urging her to reconsider, however the last several posts ended with "We just got off the phone with WeHo PD. She's gone." and "Kate followed through according to the LAPD. I am very sorry."

And no posts since. No outpouring, no disbelief, no vigil planning, nothing — things one usually sees in the event of a real death. There was something else, too. No mutual friends. I've 5k friends on FB and not one in-common trans friend. My inquiries revealed that others noted the same.  More----> http://lexiecannes.com/2014/10/07/facebook-transgender-suicide-post-hoax-looks-that-way/

I don't know what to say...  :(

What about our member here who posted the note, and made a topic stating they knew this Kate, and was blaming them self for her death.?

Please follow up on this, I also posted that letter on my media blog etc.

Thanks.

I did a search for obituary notices in the State of California. No Kate Von Roeder was listed. It appears to be a hoax.  >:(

It saddens me if there was a suicide, but it also saddens me if this was staged. Not sure what else to say.

Quote from: Jessica Merriman on October 07, 2014, 02:57:42 PM
I did a search for obituary notices in the State of California. No Kate Von Roeder was listed. It appears to be a hoax.  >:(

Thanks Jessica for the info, that's so troubling. Why would anybody do something like that.? Geezz, it hurt so many people, and caused so much sadness.

This is very irresponsible reporting.  To report something this inflammatory requires more than a hunch and a couple of inquiries that turn up with nothing.  I'm not saying Cannes is wrong, but she needs to sit on this information until she has more definitive proof before posting such a character-damning report.

Um, I also checked the LAPD database. No calls were received or logged that day for a suicide matching any of the search parameters. Or are they wrong as well? LA Times had no articles either.

Um... I really don't know what to say about this. I don't know why anyone would publicly fake a suicide. If she really did fake it, her reputation will be permanently damaged and she will lose a ton of friends for pulling such a stunt. That's not to say I'm assuming it's real, but I'm also rather creeped out by the lengths people are going to try to prove their hunch with nothing more than some shoddy circumstantial evidence. Why do you care if you didn't personally know her? As skin said, this is really lousy reporting. In my opinion, done exactly for the reasons this Cannes person is railing against -- profit.

People generally fake suicide because they want to start over. People like us don't tend to want to believe in a suicide because we tend to be hurt very deeply when one of us does it even if the report of the death is the first time we've heard of that person.

Quote from: Jessica Merriman on October 07, 2014, 04:57:08 PM
Um, I also checked the LAPD database. No calls were received or logged that day for a suicide matching any of the search parameters. Or are they wrong as well? LA Times had no articles either.

Again, a negative result on a few inquiries does not meet journalistic standards for publishing such an inflammatory report.   It is certainly a strong start for an investigation, but not enough to draw conclusions from.  Does anyone know what her legal name is?  Does anyone know what jurisdiction she lives in?  I know my Facebook profile says I live in one big city, but I actually live in a smaller village nearby.  If you're going to publish something that destroys the character of someone, you need to put in the work to know you have the facts 100% correct.  That's not even Journalism 101, that's just common sense.  Cannes clearly has not met that burden.

A five-paragraph update has been posted confirming the death.  Not a single one of those paragraphs includes an apology.  A picture of von Roeader with "Trans Suicide Hoax?" still is on the website.  Absolutely disgusting.

Quote from: skin on October 08, 2014, 11:37:48 PM
A five-paragraph update has been posted confirming the death.  Not a single one of those paragraphs includes an apology.  A picture of von Roeader with "Trans Suicide Hoax?" still is on the website.  Absolutely disgusting.

I mean the photo could be an oversight, but the article update, really can't be  :( That is really insensitive.

http://lexiecannes.com/2014/10/07/update-facebook-transgender-suicide-post-hoax-looks-that-way/

Looks like it wasn't a hoax. Very tragic.

Perhaps we can learn something from this.  I got a note from a friend of Kate's who was completely torn up by the postings here which impuned her memory.  This is a support space for some pretty fragile people.  The first thing we are taught in dealing with potential abuse victims is to affirm belief in them.

There is a web of connections in the trans community.  Many of us have been told we were wrong and lying.  I've been called much worse.  If I was also denied validation here, it would be devastating.  The friends and lovers of Kate were so denied.  That this happened in this space that makes me sad - we should know better.  We can do better.

If someone or something reported turns out to be false or wrong, and an empathetic hand was held out to those affected, what is the harm?  Things can and will be corrected, this is a moderated space.  If what is reported turns out to be true and we have responded skeptically the harm may be catastrophic.  In this case it nearly was.

There has been a lot of name calling and hurt propagated on Susan's lately.  If we cannot accept, love and nurture each other we have no business being here. My life was saved by the compassion I experienced here when I was desperate and alone.  I hope that sense of esprit de corps and love remains and grows.  My life and lives of many other depend on that being so.

Peace,
Julie

Julie, I am so going to +1 that post when I finally get the ability to again (only 1 more post!). You really did an excellent job of pointing out why we shouldn't jump to such damaging conclusions.

As someone who has often contemplated suicide and actually made an attempt recently I certainly hope that this person did not follow through or did not have success in attempting

Suicide is very real and nothing to joke or hoax about

V M, if you're ever at that point again, please remember how many people care about you. If we lost you, it would leave a huge void in this community, and I know it would the lives of those you are close to outside of it.

If you ever need someone to talk to about absolutely anything, I'm here, okay?

Quote from: Mark3 on October 07, 2014, 05:27:24 AM
What about our member here who posted the note, and made a topic stating they knew this Kate, and was blaming them self for her death.?

Please follow up on this, I also posted that letter on my media blog etc.

Thanks.

It's been really hard to post here since, but this is no joke. I knew her for 10 years, at least. Every single point within the article posted enrages me, because they have no sensitivity or understanding for people outside their own social group.

She was very real, and very loved. Please remember her better than this.

My heart goes out to you Jera, and all her friends and loved ones.

Can some mod change the title of this thread? It's the first thing people see and it seems like it can cause a lot of additionally grief given it's not a hoax.

Changing the title is possible. Suggestions?

Thanks for changing the title, LordKat. I would delete the thread but I think it serves as a lesson of, "things not to post". My apologies to any and all that were rightfully offended.

While I offered, it was actually one of our friendly news staff that did the work.

Quote from: Jera on October 11, 2014, 12:16:05 AM
It's been really hard to post here since, but this is no joke. I knew her for 10 years, at least. Every single point within the article posted enrages me, because they have no sensitivity or understanding for people outside their own social group.

She was very real, and very loved. Please remember her better than this.

I'm sorry for any misunderstanding, I was concerned for you, but couldn't remember you posted it originally, thats why I asked about you in the post.? I was wanting to find out so I could pass any info on to anyone asking me about it on other places, nothing more.
 

I was looking around for the Kate von Roeder's suicide note to read over it again. I just found this thread and I thought I would post my own opinions about Courtney O'Donnell.

I've called her out on a few things I've read that she posted on other topics that were incorrect. Some of her choice of words in her writing can raise an eyebrow or two. It seems to me she tries to have some journalistic integrity, but it always comes across as being more of an opinion piece. In her original post on the subject she presented her lack of obtaining more information on the suicide of Ms von Roeder. She then jumped from this lack of information to the conclusion that it didn't happen. That's not very rational, which she likes to claim she is doing in her quasi-journalism.

I still like to read her posts, but I take them with a grain of salt. I don't always agree with her.

This is a real shame. She kills herself and people still consider it a hoax. There are also no obituaries or vigils or anything. This really hits home, I had a suicide attempt in September. I'm much better now but this still is horrible.

Quote from: Pinkkatie on December 26, 2014, 08:03:17 PM
I was looking around for the Kate von Roeder's suicide note to read over it again. I just found this thread and I thought I would post my own opinions about Courtney O'Donnell.

I've called her out on a few things I've read that she posted on other topics that were incorrect. Some of her choice of words in her writing can raise an eyebrow or two. It seems to me she tries to have some journalistic integrity, but it always comes across as being more of an opinion piece. In her original post on the subject she presented her lack of obtaining more information on the suicide of Ms von Roeder. She then jumped from this lack of information to the conclusion that it didn't happen. That's not very rational, which she likes to claim she is doing in her quasi-journalism.

I still like to read her posts, but I take them with a grain of salt. I don't always agree with her.

Has she ever issued a public apology? I was a personal friend of Kate, and the memory that people were accusing her of being a hoax still infuriates me.

Quote from: Jera on December 28, 2014, 05:12:14 AM
Has she ever issued a public apology? I was a personal friend of Kate, and the memory that people were accusing her of being a hoax still infuriates me.

Yes, it seems like she did:

Quote from: Courtney O'Donnell
This was posted in the wrong section [of her blog]. It is apparently from Kate's dad:

"That is not a hoax. Kate took her life on October 1, 2014. I'm her father so that's a date I will never forget."

We are sorry for your loss. And we do know that it was not a hoax as mentioned a number of times already.

Again, her choice of words comes across as being defensive. She had a post about a transwoman that I knew, although not very well, that was murdered. She stated in her blog that she was "supposedly an activist in the community." That's actually how I knew her, from her activism. I questioned her putting that in the article and why she did that, her response was that she couldn't confirm if she really was an activist. What is the point if she was or was not, she gunned down?! ... It was very insensitive, I thought.

I'm so sorry for your lost, Jera.

I mentioned that I like to read it. I don't read what she wrote, but the outpouring of people that were concerned for her in response. When I get down and feel like no one cares this serves as a reminder to me that my life touches more people then I might think.

Yes. That bitch (pardon my language if it offends you, nothing else applies) dismisses everyone not in her social circle. And that's not an apology, it's not even close.