Susan's Place Transgender Resources

What do you value most about being non binary trans?

What brings you joy that is related to the fact of your authenticity?

Where has it taken you that adds enrichment to your life experience?

What do you love most about being a nonbinary my dears, what does it do for you that is special?

Love to all here.

Nails Out, Hair down, and heart wide open living free

Satinjoy

I love being a two-fer, I can tell people I'm part girl and part boy. That ends any hand wringing about passing, for sure. Great topic idea!

Hugs, Devlyn

SJ

Fundamentally, being non binary has provided me with the opportunity to understand and to accept my own unique identity without having to force fit myself into one binary or the other.  This is challenging as it requires more enquiry and more certainty than would be the case if I were to choose to reside solely within a blue or a pink box.

Non binary has therefore been both a revelation and a blessing.  The ability to bring together the perspective of male and female as well other non gendered attributes has been enormously empowering and validating.  The fact that I have not had to physically transition has also made the path easier and perhaps less destructive or damaging to family, career and other relationships. 

However the piece which often occupies my thoughts is to what extent I will feel the need to clearly present as non binary to others, versus the extent to which nuance is sufficient for my emotional comfort.  If I feel compelled or impelled to present as non binary to others (perhaps less andro and more GQ) then I recognise that this may cause some discomfort to others, but so far so good!

In fact I have been surprised and delighted with the ready understanding and acceptance by others of my NB Trans identity.  This has been enormously validating and similar to the understanding and acceptance that I have found from many binary members of Susans.  I didn't expect this and I consider myself truly blessed, fear has been replaced with courage, and timidity replaced with confidence.

Thanks and safe travels to all

Aisla

Quote from: Satinjoy on October 09, 2014, 05:52:29 AM
What do you value most about being non binary trans?

What brings you joy that is related to the fact of your authenticity?

Where has it taken you that adds enrichment to your life experience?

What do you love most about being a nonbinary my dears, what does it do for you that is special?

Love to all here.

Nails Out, Hair down, and heart wide open living free

Satinjoy

The non-binary part of Susan's is the most accepting segment of the community. You all are the best part of being non-binary. We understand that we're not like others, so we don't expect others to be like us. We're more accepting and understanding of differences.

I like the fact that I can see life from both sides of the gender divide. It has made me a wiser and more knowledgeable person.

Also, it's kind of fun that I feel like a man who has conned the medical community into giving me a female body. Makes it seem like I've gotten away with something.  >:-)

I hadn't heard the term Two-fer before.? Lol, its kinda cute.  :D

I just know that I don't have that immense burden on myself any longer, that felt for so long like I was always trying to stuff myself into the CIS box, with parts of me continually popping out from the edges. It was so stressful..

Perfect example today, I was shopping and walked past windows of clothing shops, some really nice woman's fashions(which I love), and I didn't bother to look over my shoulder to see in anyone was looking at me funny cuz I'm a guy, I just took it all in, getting ideas for my blog, and it just felt so good and natural, with not one worry that its not something guys are supposed to do, I just did it without a care in the world..! I felt really good when I got home..

Its things like that I'm so happy to have discovered, and understanding and being non binary just gives me the mental fuel to feel like I can do almost anything, with no regrets, and no looking back..

:D

I like most that I can experience most everything this world has to offer, and don't have this long list of things I won't do or say or wear or think about.

Sounds like you've found freedom.

what i like best about...
well, i've never really been cis, so i can't compare the experience much.
and i've never tried the binary trans route, gave it up when i considered consequences.

maybe the best thing is that i don't feel much need to be seen as anything specific in terms of gender. i'll be happy as long as i'm treated as me.
another nice thing is experiencing pregnancy as something positive when it happened. but that is my personal form of transand not all non-binary would have a similar experience. to some it might be completely devastating, and thus, i can't really answer what's best about nb, it all ends up being an answer to what i like best about being none other than me.

finding a term, one label that fits many despite great diveristy, has given me freedom though.
i can be who i am on my own terms, and have gotten that little push i needed to simply accepy myself the way i am rather than fear these gender swings that happen all the time, but were experienced much more dramatically in the past.

What I like

the authenticity
the truth
the small, close knit group in this subforum, these people of hte unique, of hte real, of raw honesty, of courage, of passion

the wonderful blend of those born female and those born male and the priceless interaction we have between each other, a gift to us like noplace else

the ability to socially be anything I want at any given time, and know it is all real, all at once

Having a female wired body with female secondary components now, having a body I don't fear anymore, of being able to feel sensually and not judge, taking passion to the limit of the nonbinary mtf experience

the depth and power of these emotions

the magic of transition, watching the body change and transform into something that is beautiful in my personal eyes

The ability to live as I wish and not have to pass, since I always pass, I pass as me.

The incredible depth and wisdom of the nonbinary forum

The friends I have now off and on forum that I can talk to, like my first phone call and experience with a transsexual, 56 years into a life where I was born trans.  Scared to death, and Julie is a close friend, aren't you girl?

Such blessings, such joy, so real.  I believe in you all my dears, I need you so much

I like being able to think with both sides of my brain. To be selective in what I like about both binaries that I have incorporated into my persona and appearance, and to be able to reject the alpha male rock-em-sock-em entertainment and sports fanaticism and not feel less because of it. To be able to enjoy what are labeled as chick flicks and cry freely having real human emotions rather then stuffing them. I enjoy my few remaining male friends as well as an abundance of female friends and can enjoy conversations equally with both binaries. I enjoy mixing and matching gender in my attire with color, style and flair as an outward expression of who I am.

Truth be told, there is not one thing I like about being non-binary.  I do not enjoy it nor could I or would I tell anyone I did. I would never wish the FUBAR confusion I have endured on anyone BUT with that being said........

Peace of mind comes to the forefront almost immediately.  After 50+ years of being convinced I was insane and then convincing myself I was MTF and then convincing myself I was an insane MTF and the only solution was full transition, I took the step off the deep end and starting a DIY treatment and discovered I could be happy, have emotional stability, not be angry at the world during every waking moment and did I mention peace of mind.  I have since moved on to being medically supervised saw a counselor who confirmed I wasn't insane and discovered a long ignored part of this forum that has the same as me type of people.

In any persons life there are conditions and problems.  Conditions have no solutions and are permanent whereas problems have solutions and when applied, go away.  It is a good thing to be able to convert conditions to problems.    Having a solution to a problem even if it is not comprehensible is always preferable to living with a condition..

Quote from: fairview on October 21, 2014, 04:03:40 PM
Truth be told, there is not one thing I like about being non-binary BUT with that being said........

Peace of mind comes to the forefront almost immediately.  After 50+ years of being convinced I was insane and then convincing myself I was MTF and then convincing myself I was an insane MTF and the only solution was full transition, I .... discovered I could be happy, have emotional stability, not be angry at the world during every waking moment and did I mention peace of mind.  I have since moved on to being medically supervised saw a counselor who confirmed I wasn't insane and discovered a long ignored part of this forum that has the same as me type of people.

In any persons life there are conditions and problems.  Conditions have no solutions and are permanent whereas problems have solutions and when applied, go away.  It is a good thing to be able to convert conditions to problems.    Having a solution to a problem even if it is not comprehensible is always preferable to living with a condition..

Fairview

Amen to this.  Learning that I wasn't insane, that my non binary 'condition' could be successfully treated and that I could have a great life was a revelation and a blessing.

Would I have chosen to be non binary, probably not ... But there is this part of me that says here is an opportunity to really know, to accept and to express myself in a uniquely powerful way.  Being attracted to the unusual, being seduced by a challenge,  I see this as both a growth and a learning opportunity and also choose to see it as a potential blessing rather than a curse.  I certainly understand your perspective when you say that you don't see anything that you like about being non binary,  but it is not one that I can  take myself, as I have this almost pathological need to be positive and upbeat as I have found that this works better for me.

Safe travels

Aisla

Last week I came out to my 84 year old father.  His reaction was cautiously supportive or at least respectful.  He reacted best to the message that I take x for reflux and y for high cholesterol and as I have significant distress arising from my gender dysphoria I need low dose hrt.  As further conversations have shown, he still doesn't understand the reasons for my gender distress, but he accepts that the treatment works for me, that I benefit from this and I am in a safe place.  The parallels work for him and helped us avoid an existentential, religious, evil of 'big pharma' or parenting crisis.

Apologies to the OP for this side track.

Safe travels

Aisla

Quote from: Aisla on October 21, 2014, 06:00:50 PM

as I have this almost pathological need to be positive and upbeat as I have found that this works better for me.

Safe travels

Aisla

Ironically before figuring out what was, not what I was,  I was pathologically negative, angry, unhappy, irritable, aggressive pretty much a borderline sociopath.  Now, I celebrate that everyday I wake up happy and not with anger carried from the day before yesterday, before yesterday, ad infinitum.  My family is able to celebrate this.  I now have friends that can celebrate this with me.  It's being pragmatic; it is what it is.  Prior to having all the puzzle pieces turned right side up, it was impossible to avoid being the Mr. Hyde every waking minute.  Today and for the last several years it has been unavoidable to be a civilized individual, to smile, to just be fulfilled.  Seemingly I have not had a choice in the matter.  I do not celebrate that I am non-binary.  I clebrate that I hae a happy life.

Yet at the end of each day, I am faced with the same conundrum.  I am a 6-1 endomorph.  On the binary scale my presentation is about as male as possible yet internally my testosterone and estradiol levels are about as female as a woman's results can be.  I do not want to be a woman, would not choose to be a woman had I had the opportunity nor do I wish I was born female.   Ironically I am happier now with my male presentation than ever before but when my internal endocrine system matches the exterior appearance, all uncontrollable hell breaks loose for me.  Unfortunately there is no middle ground for me in respects to androgyne.  I ooze heterosexual maleness. I do not like being at the polar ends of the non-binary continuum but survival dictates I deal with it.  It is not fun.

What I would like best is not a specific gender but a gender that matched the inside and out. 

gender is something really weird, and doesn't always work in the cis- or transsexual ways.
my gender is definitely of the non-binary sort.
but i'm still refusing to identify as any gender in particular.
i'm convinced that different hormones would make a positive difference.
i have no conviction at all with regards to gender rolls. they aren't tasty at all.

but for some reason i'd rather be me, than have a gender that matched my outward naked appearance.
why would i even want to live a boring life of never knowing more than one side of this coin. or is it a cube?
how many sides does gender have?
nobody knows, and that's why i like being me.
i can see how the gender binary doesn't make sense.
most people will never have that experience.

I get to be me... Whatever that means

I'm transmasculine but not quite ftm. My favorite thing, I'd have to say, is still getting to be a little girly at times. I have a weakness for doing my nails and they don't ever really match my male clothing and haircut. But as a born female no one bats an eye and I think if I were male and did my nails it might get too much attention.

There are other examples but it's basically that. I can be masculine and no one cares, or feminine and they just equally don't care.

Quote from: Antagonist on October 24, 2014, 05:46:02 PM
I'm transmasculine but not quite ftm. My favorite thing, I'd have to say, is still getting to be a little girly at times. I have a weakness for doing my nails and they don't ever really match my male clothing and haircut. But as a born female no one bats an eye and I think if I were male and did my nails it might get too much attention.

There are other examples but it's basically that. I can be masculine and no one cares, or feminine and they just equally don't care.

That is my work presentation, unbound, with underwire support on a to b cups, and now knee high women's boots with low heals.

Cool...

Quote from: LordKAT on October 09, 2014, 11:36:49 PM
Sounds like you've found freedom.

Right on LordKAT!

In one word that is it for me too, Freedom.

Free to be myself