Community Conversation => Transitioning => Therapy => Topic started by: tesseract49 on October 09, 2014, 07:15:33 AM Return to Full Version
Title: Extreme Fear of telling doctors
Post by: tesseract49 on October 09, 2014, 07:15:33 AM
Post by: tesseract49 on October 09, 2014, 07:15:33 AM
Hi everyone. I am transgender and I live in the UK. I really need to get help but I am too scared to tell my GP. I just can't do it. The whole experience of just going there is terrifying. Is there a way that I could let them know or get help without having to see them in person? I am really scared. :'(
Title: Re: Extreme Fear of telling doctors
Post by: Alice Rogers on October 09, 2014, 07:23:09 AM
Post by: Alice Rogers on October 09, 2014, 07:23:09 AM
I asked a nurse at my doctors while I was having a blood pressure test who the most understanding and friendly Doctor was at their surgery, armed with that knowledge I made an appointment confident that I would be listened to and taken seriously.
Beyond getting a little intel in advance you could also write them a letter.
BUT you will never get the help you need if you don't go see them!
Alice
xx
UK girl, just been through what you are about to start, PM me if you like. :) xx
Beyond getting a little intel in advance you could also write them a letter.
BUT you will never get the help you need if you don't go see them!
Alice
xx
UK girl, just been through what you are about to start, PM me if you like. :) xx
Title: Re: Extreme Fear of telling doctors
Post by: Jenny07 on October 09, 2014, 07:25:42 AM
Post by: Jenny07 on October 09, 2014, 07:25:42 AM
Hi
You have a right to be terrified as it is such a difficult issue.
I was personally terrified myself as I made many excuses which resulted in nothing happening and making it worse.
As I sat waiting I thought about it and wanted to run away.
When I did see my GP I nearly didn't open up, I told her this and she was so understanding.
It was the best thing. Be honest to yourself and if you do your research and find a helpful GP you will be amazed. I was.
Once I had opened up it was so much easier dealing with it. Now when I see her it's a side issue only and so easy to discuss.
Be brave as you will need to open up to your GP at some time and only you can do it, however it could be the best thing you ever do.
Hugs
Jen
You have a right to be terrified as it is such a difficult issue.
I was personally terrified myself as I made many excuses which resulted in nothing happening and making it worse.
As I sat waiting I thought about it and wanted to run away.
When I did see my GP I nearly didn't open up, I told her this and she was so understanding.
It was the best thing. Be honest to yourself and if you do your research and find a helpful GP you will be amazed. I was.
Once I had opened up it was so much easier dealing with it. Now when I see her it's a side issue only and so easy to discuss.
Be brave as you will need to open up to your GP at some time and only you can do it, however it could be the best thing you ever do.
Hugs
Jen
Title: Re: Extreme Fear of telling doctors
Post by: Mariah on October 09, 2014, 07:44:17 AM
Post by: Mariah on October 09, 2014, 07:44:17 AM
Both have suggested great ideas. A letter or telling the nurse first will help, but ultimately your going to have to tell the doctor. When I told my GP at the time I was terrified of how he would respond that my blood pressure went through the roof even though I was clear with my intentions to the staff when making the appointment. They had seen and dealt with this before on others so that put my mind at ease coming in. Advocating for your own care is the only way to get your needs met. One of the doctors I have to deal with for my heath I wrote a letter too and dropped it off a few days before my appointment. I knew they had an idea of what was going on coming in, but I had to handle both my being transgendered and other issues I had of this doctor at the same time. I thought a letter was the best way to do it. My appointment went smoothly because of it. My point being you can let the letter do the heavy lifting. Speaking through the nurse will help because I tried that first time on the urologist I had to write the letter too, but in the end the letter was necessary because message got lost in translation. If you don't feel you have the courage and strength to convey the words directly to the doctor at first then I highly recommend the letter. You can choose to bring it with you to the appointment or do as I did and dropped it off a few days ahead of time allowing the doctor and nurses a chance to look over it before they see you. You need to do what your comfortable doing. You will be amazed about the amount of weight lifted off your shoulders when you do. Don't rush yourself though, when your ready you will be able to do it. I hope this helps. Hugs
Mariah
Mariah
Quote from: tesseract49 on October 09, 2014, 07:15:33 AM
Hi everyone. I am transgender and I live in the UK. I really need to get help but I am too scared to tell my GP. I just can't do it. The whole experience of just going there is terrifying. Is there a way that I could let them know or get help without having to see them in person? I am really scared. :'(
Title: Re: Extreme Fear of telling doctors
Post by: tesseract49 on October 09, 2014, 07:53:04 AM
Post by: tesseract49 on October 09, 2014, 07:53:04 AM
Thanks everyone. I agree with all of you that a letter would be best for me. I am much better at expressing my feelings through writing than in person. Thanks so much from all of you *hugs*. I just have one more question. How do I drop off a letter? Should I just hand it to the receptionist?
Title: Re: Extreme Fear of telling doctors
Post by: Mariah on October 09, 2014, 07:55:54 AM
Post by: Mariah on October 09, 2014, 07:55:54 AM
I handed it to the receptionist. If you have the courage and strenght to use that method, then I would use that method. In person is the best way. You don't even have to say what it is about and just say you would like the doctor to read it before the appointment and that it is important for him to do so. However, if your bringing it to the appointment then you can take it back with you instead of handing it off before hand and then hand it to the nurse or doctor directly. Either route will work. Hugs
Mariah.
Mariah.
Quote from: tesseract49 on October 09, 2014, 07:53:04 AM
Thanks everyone. I agree with all of you that a letter would be best for me. I am much better at expressing my feelings through writing than in person. Thanks so much from all of you *hugs*. I just have one more question. How do I drop off a letter? Should I just hand it to the receptionist?
Title: Re: Extreme Fear of telling doctors
Post by: Alice Rogers on October 09, 2014, 07:58:27 AM
Post by: Alice Rogers on October 09, 2014, 07:58:27 AM
Quote from: tesseract49 on October 09, 2014, 07:53:04 AMSure, or post it and name the specific doctor you want to deal with about it. At my surgery they don't limit you to one doctor you can ask to see any of them.
Thanks everyone. I agree with all of you that a letter would be best for me. I am much better at expressing my feelings through writing than in person. Thanks so much from all of you *hugs*. I just have one more question. How do I drop off a letter? Should I just hand it to the receptionist?
Title: Re: Extreme Fear of telling doctors
Post by: tesseract49 on October 09, 2014, 08:08:51 AM
Post by: tesseract49 on October 09, 2014, 08:08:51 AM
Thanks everyone again :). I feel so much better now. I want to hug you all :)
Title: Re: Extreme Fear of telling doctors
Post by: Mariah on October 09, 2014, 08:10:45 AM
Post by: Mariah on October 09, 2014, 08:10:45 AM
I'm so very glad to hear your feeling better about it now. Good Luck. Hugs
Mariah
Mariah
Quote from: tesseract49 on October 09, 2014, 08:08:51 AM
Thanks everyone again :). I feel so much better now. I want to hug you all :)
Title: Re: Extreme Fear of telling doctors
Post by: Alice Rogers on October 09, 2014, 08:11:54 AM
Post by: Alice Rogers on October 09, 2014, 08:11:54 AM
Quote from: tesseract49 on October 09, 2014, 08:08:51 AM
Thanks everyone again :). I feel so much better now. I want to hug you all :)
I'll hold you to that!
Alice
xx
Title: Re: Extreme Fear of telling doctors
Post by: Jessika on October 18, 2014, 04:13:36 PM
Post by: Jessika on October 18, 2014, 04:13:36 PM
Hi all,
My Primary Doctor (GP..General Practitioner?) is on the military base in a Military facility (I am retired Military). Not sure when a good time to come out would be once and if I am diagnosed. I also get all my Meds in the Base pharmacy (no cost). I am not on any kind of Meds atm.
I can't stop thinking about the time I will come out to all, and then going to the base to get all my documents, pills, exams, ect ect ect ect ect. Any advice?
Thanks all
Jess
My Primary Doctor (GP..General Practitioner?) is on the military base in a Military facility (I am retired Military). Not sure when a good time to come out would be once and if I am diagnosed. I also get all my Meds in the Base pharmacy (no cost). I am not on any kind of Meds atm.
I can't stop thinking about the time I will come out to all, and then going to the base to get all my documents, pills, exams, ect ect ect ect ect. Any advice?
Thanks all
Jess
Title: Re: Extreme Fear of telling doctors
Post by: Mariah on October 18, 2014, 04:30:15 PM
Post by: Mariah on October 18, 2014, 04:30:15 PM
Receiving your care directly through the military base will change how somethings will occur. If your talking about coming out to the doctor on base, then you just need to be ready to do that. The timing isn't going to matter to them otherwise. Being forthcoming and honest with them is the best route. I wish you the best of luck doing it. Hugs
Mariah
Mariah
Quote from: Jessika on October 18, 2014, 04:13:36 PM
Hi all,
My Primary Doctor (GP..General Practitioner?) is on the military base in a Military facility (I am retired Military). Not sure when a good time to come out would be once and if I am diagnosed. I also get all my Meds in the Base pharmacy (no cost). I am not on any kind of Meds atm.
I can't stop thinking about the time I will come out to all, and then going to the base to get all my documents, pills, exams, ect ect ect ect ect. Any advice?
Thanks all
Jess