Susan's Place Transgender Resources

also having a picture of what looks like a fusion of the common male and female figure picture that's on the sign to indicate if it's the men or women's restroom? Before you answer, please answer truthfully, how would it make you feel and if you aren't trans please say so. Lastly, how would you feel if this was used in all public places as well as how would you feel if this was used at your gender therapist's building where you're getting therapy done? How would you also feel if they told you it's to say and show they support and accept trans people?

Please answer each of these questions as while they're similar to each other, they're different in some way and thus deserve to be answered separately. Thank you if you chose to answer any/all (especially all) of this. Rest assured, I too will answer these questions (All of them) after some time has passed and others have had a chance to say how they would feel. (As I don't want my answers to cause any favoring towards how one might feel)

EDIT: Updated with 2 new questions

How would you feel if ALL the restrooms in the gender therapist's building had that sign and word transgender on it and them saying it's to show and say they accept trans people? Now again, how would you feel if all restrooms in public had this sign/name, and yes this means no unisex, or male, or female or any other restroom besides this one, so, how would you feel?

I would be insulted and would never use it. 

They already have bathrooms with both genders on it, so anyone can use it (binary or non-binary).

 Very insulting sign. I wouldn't even acknowledge it. Surely you are not being serious are you ?.

How do you feel about a bathroom with a sign saying transgender on it?
To be honest, society is segregated enough as it is imho.  We should be trying to bring people together, not split them apart more.  I'd much rather see unisex toilets - to be honest I've never really seen the purpose of having separate male and female toilets.  Just do away with the whole "male urinal" thing and have a bunch of cubicles (male toilets have those anyway so what's the difference?).  I've been to a few places over the years (including our local LGBT night club) that have unisex toilets and they work perfectly fine.  Like I said having male and female toilets seems a bit pointless to me, so adding a third one to the mix seems kinda like the going in the wrong direction to me :)

..also having a picture of what looks like a fusion of the common male and female figure picture that's on the sign to indicate if it's the men or women's restroom?
Again, this already exists on unisex toilets:
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.clker.com%2Fcliparts%2FX%2Fv%2F6%2FF%2FE%2Fa%2Funisex-bathroom-logo-hi.png&hash=15e1bf0008fad7b50ef3e6d0966718187215db44)

or:

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.archersafetysigns.co.uk%2Fimages%2Fu%2Funisextoilet7583.jpglg7583.jpg&hash=931d2f1ed5a36d00886e58b8699aaf5fa830a60b)

I don't see why not, but again why have another separate one when you can have a combined one instead? :)


How would you feel if this was used in all public places as well as how would you feel if this was used at your gender therapist's building where you're getting therapy done?
Again, separate - no.  Combined - yes.

How would you also feel if they told you it's to say and show they support and accept trans people?
It's a nice thought and I see where you're coming from, but think of what would happen when the average joe on the street sees you walk in there - that simple act would be confirmation that you're trans* would it not?  I mean, why would you go in there if you weren't trans*?  That'd be particularly problematic for anyone trying to be stealth.  Once again, why segregate people when we should be trying to bring everyone together?  A gender-blind society doesn't need separate bathrooms for men and women, non-binaries or trans* folk ;) ♥︎

If I walked up to the bathrooms and saw that, I would roll my eyes and walk right past it into the women's.

If this was implemented on any sort of wide scale, I would feel disgusted.

If they had this in my therapist's building, I would very angrily tell my therapist why this isn't supportive and then find a new therapist ASAP.

I agree with the others. I would be insulted by it and keep using the regular bathrooms like a regular person because I am a regular person and insist on being treated as such.

I wouldn't be bothered with it and wouldn't question it honestly because I see the two separate figures as a typical symbol of men and women (ex.women MUST be=dress) that I don't agree with in the first place. And I actually kind of like that fusion figure because one can be both without falling into the box of "male" or "female".
I would prefer to go into mens but I would probably check out the new fused bathroom as well.

Like others have said I don't see why we need that when there are unisex restrooms popping up all over the place. I would understand that the owner's heart was in the right place, trying to create a place for non-cis people to feel welcome, but that owner probably cares little enough about the community that they didn't bother to do a little research. Most trans* people will tell you that the best way to include them and make them feel comfortable using a public restroom is by including a family restroom that anyone can use. I'm not saying people should do away with restrooms that are specifically for people who identify as male or female as that is what most cis people are used to, but if someone is going to add a third option, they should make it one that includes everyone. I've had days where I don't know which restroom to use because I don't know how well I pass that day an the point of a separate restroom is mainly so we don't have to worry about people thinking we're "different" and walking into a restroom that is specifically for trans people is like placing a large neon sign over your head saying "I'm different". But then again, the way you're describing it, it sounds more like people would use it as a unisex restroom and not even realize it is meant specifically for trans people. But in that case they should just call it unisex.

Also in reply to the other question I forgot to answer, I'm not in therapy currently, but if I was, and that was what my therapist told me, I would probably find a therapist who better understands my community, not because I'm angry at the therapist but because I won't be able to get the help I need from someone who cannot empathize with what I'm going through.

Wouldn't use it...

I hate the idea and concept of trying to separate us off like that. It's an insult and I would, like others have already mentioned, walk right past into the women's bathroom without even thinking twice about it. Forcing people into separate bathrooms all for the sake of some people who can't handle it out there is wrong. It only adds to the problem and doesn't diminish it at all.
Mariah

Not only would I be insulted by it, but it could lead to harassment or worse as it would immediately out anyone who uses it.

I like the idea from the recent "Cissy" episode of South Park: "Anyone who has a problem with sharing a bathroom with people who might be transgender will have to use the special designated bathroom designed to keep them away from the normal people who don't care."

I once listened to a talked by a cisgender woman who claimed we needed more unisex restrooms because "trans people would be more comfortable". When I disputed that, she argued vehemently that trans people needed a safe place to go to the bathroom and that this would make them more comfortable.

Not sure whether she knew I was trans, but it's a pretty good bet since this was a transgender conference.

I wouldn't use a trans bathroom at all. It reminds me of the episode of Glee which had the transgender student trying to decide which gender bathroom to use. The principle dumps a "trans" toilet in the middle of the gym for her to use. So thoughtful, NOT!

Maybe instead I should just wear a flashing neon sign that says "I'm a transsexual. Please feel free to harass me over it."

I think it's OK if all available restrooms for everyone are gender neutral, but I refuse to use a "special" restroom in a public place.  I really don't feel that there is any upside to segregating gender variant people this way. 

Suck it, haters.  I'm in the ladies' room whether you like it or not.  I have a right to use it and you don't have the right to exclude me from using it nor to harass me while I'm in there.

add another "no way in hell I would use it," would rather the gents bathroom !

I find the concept extrenely insulting as it would be plainly discriminatory.

Sorry, I missed the title's description. If it was actually saying the word 'transgender' I wouldn't use it either but I was just referring to the logo.

Unisex bathrooms are great. Segregated bathrooms, not so much. Anyone remember those "Colored Only" signs??

This is a really bad idea.

If I was full time I wouldn't use them neither.

Quote from: Shana-chan on October 09, 2014, 03:59:45 PM
also having a picture of what looks like a fusion of the common male and female figure picture that's on the sign to indicate if it's the men or women's restroom? Before you answer, please answer truthfully, how would it make you feel and if you aren't trans please say so. Lastly, how would you feel if this was used in all public places as well as how would you feel if this was used at your gender therapist's building where you're getting therapy done? How would you also feel if they told you it's to say and show they support and accept trans people?

Please answer each of these questions as while they're similar to each other, they're different in some way and thus deserve to be answered separately. Thank you if you chose to answer any/all (especially all) of this. Rest assured, I too will answer these questions (All of them) after some time has passed and others have had a chance to say how they would feel. (As I don't want my answers to cause any favoring towards how one might feel)

I wouldn't want this to be public everywhere.  I'd rather use the women's restroom.  If it is in my gender therapist's office then I wouldn't care considering how she's in another state and I do online therapy with her.  It would be weird of she had that and I guess I'd be okay with it, but like I said, it wouldn't concern me.

Then again, if I REALLY had to pee or take a crap, then I'd try to find the closest bathroom available.  If that bathroom is it and I can't make it a few feet further so I won't mess up my pants and underwear then fine.  I'd be terrified to be outed like that, but on the same foot, I can easily see a little cis boy or girl having to pee or crap so bad that they run into that bathroom.  I say lets just keep it unisex though.

Having been full-time at work, in a place where nobody knows I'm trans, for a couple of months now...

No. I would not want such a bathroom. As soon as I would be required to use a unisex bathroom instead of the women's room, people would immediately stop seeing me as a woman, and just start seeing me as an "other."

In a society where gender identity wasn't such a big freaking deal, where trans women were seen as being just as female as cis women, I would be more okay with it. (Granted, in such a world why would we need a third bathroom anyway?) But just being realistic here, it isn't happening any time soon. And I refuse to be seen and treated as an "other" by society. Especially since I've long since been accepted as being just another woman. I wouldn't give that up for anything.

If society really wants to help trans people, it doesn't need a third bathroom, it needs to quit making this bathroom thing such a big deal in the first place. Just let people use the bathroom congruent with what they identify with, accept them as a valid member of that identity gender whether they pass or not, and don't be so defensive about it.

Maybe non-binaries would appreciate a third non-gendered bathroom as an option, but most of us don't need it, we just need the freedom to use the gendered bathroom that we identify with, and a segregated "trans" bathroom would only set us back.

OK, this is what I figured everyone would say, I'm still not ready yet to say how I feel about it because there is one thing that I see everyone didn't realize I meant regarding the therapist's bathrooms having the sign and transgender on it so let me ask you all again,

How would you feel if ALL the restrooms in the gender therapist's building had that sign and word transgender on it and them saying it's to show and say they accept trans people? Now again, how would you feel if all restrooms in public had this sign/name, and yes this means no unisex, or male, or female or any other restroom besides this one, so, how would you feel?

Also I've edited the above into the OP post.

Okay, now I'm just really confused. Are you saying there would be no bathrooms other than the "transgender" one? If that's the case, how could it possibly be a transgender bathroom, if it's for everyone? And... um... Shouldn't it just say "bathroom"? :P

Quote from: Pikachu on October 09, 2014, 11:01:19 PM
Okay, now I'm just really confused. Are you saying there would be no bathrooms other than the "transgender" one? If that's the case, how could it possibly be a transgender bathroom, if it's for everyone? And... um... Shouldn't it just say "bathroom"? :P

Think of the two questions I just posted below as both new questions that should be answered separately from the previous ones I asked before and also at the same time as how a situation might come up in real life. So in this case, think of the old questions as how they were while the new questions giving a different scenario. As for your question there, would love to answer that however, I don't want to sway anyone to one side or the other for how they answer the questions but like the old questions, I'll also answer the new ones too once I feel enough people have had a chance to get their word/answers in.

I would still rather they didn't. If they are trying to show support just have a bathroom with no sign regarding gender of any sort attached. This would show more support for us and be less stigmatizing too. A bathroom for everyone that doesn't exclude anyone really is where we need things to go.

Quote from: Shana-chan on October 09, 2014, 10:53:42 PM
OK, this is what I figured everyone would say, I'm still not ready yet to say how I feel about it because there is one thing that I see everyone didn't realize I meant regarding the therapist's bathrooms having the sign and transgender on it so let me ask you all again,

How would you feel if ALL the restrooms in the gender therapist's building had that sign and word transgender on it and them saying it's to show and say they accept trans people? Now again, how would you feel if all restrooms in public had this sign/name, and yes this means no unisex, or male, or female or any other restroom besides this one, so, how would you feel?

Also I've edited the above into the OP post.

Would that mean cispeople can't go to the bathroom anymore? Seems a bit weird. To be honest that just the same concept then as making all the bathrooms unisex, I don't see why they'd have to put the word transgender on there. I think it's a pointless excercise to go and put transgender on it. Maybe you mean more like 'also accesible for transgenders'? But then we'd be back to kind of insulting. I agree with the main idea that a unisex toilet may be nice but a 'transgender bathroom' is just further segregation and unneeded.
In my supportgroup we do have only one bathroom, on the door it has a sort of mix between the male/female signs and something else, but it's really just unisex, it has 2 stalls and 2 urinals and we just all go there no problems.

I think I prefer how my local LGBT center does it. Rather than having "men" and "women," their bathroom signs say "male-identifying" and "female-identifying." That is really what shows support.

Quote from: Carrie Liz on October 10, 2014, 01:12:24 AM
I think I prefer how my local LGBT center does it. Rather than having "men" and "women," their bathroom signs say "male-identifying" and "female-identifying." That is really what shows support.

Really? That's kind of cool.

I wouldn't use a bathroom that has "transgender" on it but if it said Unisex, I would use that because I get severe anxiety going into either women or men's bathrooms.

I think I would actually actively protest a third bathroom labeled "Transgender", get over my hatred of being on TV and state my case for the world to hear.

I think I would feel about the same as having to wear a sign around my neck or an armband

Quote from: Shana-chan on October 09, 2014, 10:53:42 PM
OK, this is what I figured everyone would say, I'm still not ready yet to say how I feel about it because there is one thing that I see everyone didn't realize I meant regarding the therapist's bathrooms having the sign and transgender on it so let me ask you all again,

How would you feel if ALL the restrooms in the gender therapist's building had that sign and word transgender on it and them saying it's to show and say they accept trans people? Now again, how would you feel if all restrooms in public had this sign/name, and yes this means no unisex, or male, or female or any other restroom besides this one, so, how would you feel?

Also I've edited the above into the OP post.

Ooh, I could be off the mark here, but I think I see what you're getting at here: are you basically asking "what if the roles were reversed?"?  (As in - what if trans* folk had public toilets but cis* folks didn't?).

If that's what you're asking then it'd certainly be a nice bit of "now you know how it feels" (and would probably help cis* folk see things from our side more and in turn reduce trans* phobia, at least in relation to bathrooms), but at the same time I've never been one for revenge, so that still doesn't sit very well with me to be honest with you hun.

On a "let's imagine that it's always been this way around" basis - I'd be one of the trans* folks campaigning for equal rights for cis* folks because I believe in equality for *everyone* lol :P ♥︎

if there was one separate transgender bathroom everywhere i went, put up in support of the trans, i'd start talking about how apartheid protected the otherly colored from violent pale pink skinned bigots.

if tje separate transgender bathroom was only at the therapist's, i'd decide to never use them. i'd cancel any appointment i had that day and refuse to pay for their wasted time because ill placed support is nithing other than well hidden discrimination.

if all bathrooms were trangender, i'd laugh so much. at the therapists, i'd find it amusing how the therapist and all the staff were trans identified. in public places, it would just be hilarious how they support one marginalized group by forcing the majority into their shoes. soon the word "transgender" would change meaning in the colloquial language to 'toilet' though, and that woyld be no fun thing to identify as.

i've worked in one place that only has toilets. staff have their own, visitors get to use the other toilets. and thosr who know their way around often end up in the staff toilets even if they aren't staff.
was a pleasant toilet experience.

Having separate bathrooms labeled for transgender people.

Sounds very "Jim Crow" to me.

Quote from: Takasoon the word "transgender" would change meaning in the colloquial language to 'toilet' though...

Taka, you owe me a new keyboard....

And ain't that just how language works!

Hehe~ Made me laugh, too. Luckily, I wasn't drinking anything at the time. I can so see that happening.

Quote from: Taka on October 10, 2014, 04:41:20 AM
..soon the word "transgender" would change meaning in the colloquial language to 'toilet' though, and that woyld be no fun thing to identify as...

"Excuse me while I just nip to the trans" lmao yeh, that could turn bad very quickly.

"Oh, so you identify as something people pee into?"  :o  :D ♥︎

here at the gay resort where i live at - all the bathrooms are labeled "womens" - gentetic and TS/TG women use it with no incident so far, but the genetic women there are already mind set that all women can use the bathroom - myself if i saw a bathroom labeled Transgendered, i wouldnt use it... with a thought "quit labeling me"...

I think the wording in the question is a little confusing and strange, but I'll try to answer it to the best of my abilities. As to having all public places having a third bathroom labeled as "Transgendered bathroom" no, it's a very bad idea for two reasons. For one, it acts as a label that transphobic people can use as a way to further discriminate against us. (Usually the thought goes something like "why are my tax dollars paying for something I don't believe in" mentality, which is one of the less bigoted things I've heard spouted from people's mouths. The other thing is that can start leading to a stronger need for transphobic people to segregate us. Having the thought of, "they have their own bathroom so they can't use mine." Which will not help us in the long run.

However, if you are only referring to having a third, gender neutral bathroom in general without the binary label attached, I am perfectly fine with such things because it now becomes an all inclusive room where people of any gender can go and not feel threatened.

I bring up an actual time this happened with me. I once went to a convention up in Connecticut (Conneticon) and while the bathrooms in the rented convention hall were all gender binary, the staff had the idea to set up some of the bathrooms all across the convention center as gender neutral bathrooms. Taped over the usual, Men and Women signs were notes stating something to the degree of "This is a gender neutral bathroom. People do not exist solely in binary gender. Gender identity differs in all people and we hope to create a safe place free of fear and discrimination." (I honestly cannot remember the exact wording, but it was tantamount to this) This made me feel much better and enjoy the convention much more not only because it showed that the staff were openminded, but also that it was there to educate (to a small degree) people who did not understand that gender identity and physical gender are two different things.

They are a stupid idea like civil unions being an acceptable alternative to marriage.

Something else I've been thinking of.

I take my kids to the restroom. Usually I take them to the men's (because I'm not really anywhere near being out yet). But I feel uncomfortable doing so with my two little girls. Thankfully many stores now have family restrooms which we use. And I welcome those.

Nope. If they want a unisex bathroom (including single stall), that's different. What's the deal about dividing people by sexual organs anyway?

Would not use it.

--Jay

I dont feel toilets should be seperated in general.

I don't like the idea of a "Transgender Loo".  Besides the danger inherent in outing yourself by using one, it is insulting.  I don't need to be separated from the common herd.  I'm not a danger to anyone.  The ones who need to be weeded out are those who like to rape, fight, kill, assault, etc.  We don't just need separate loos for them.  A separate planet would be better.

Ok, I believe now is a good time to answer my own questions that I asked everyone. So, here is my take on them. (See OP post for the questions as these are the answers)

I feel Dysphoria, bothered and disgusted by it. It needs to come down. If it was used everywhere, same result if there were still men/woman/any other restrooms, and same if in thera's building. If it was the ONLY restroom and everyone used it then, I wouldn't much mind it since it wouldn't out me and such and would be considered "normal" however, I would wonder why it was called transgender restroom if it was for everyone. As for the reason the thera gave for using it, I would feel at least they were trying albeit VERY misguided and would say something about it and try to get them to correct the matter.

Well, that's my take n it. Mine like most here is very similar to many here, glad I'm not the only one who feels that way, although, I didn't think I was. :)

Thank you to everyone who replied to this thread and answered any/all the questions I asked. :)

Out of idle curiosity hun, what exactly prompted you to ask these Q's? :P ♥︎

All public restrooms should be multi-user unisex with private stalls and no open urinals.  It will save space, cost, duplication, and unequal wait times.

there should be one unisex urinal room, one unisex stalls room, and one unisex room for the paranoid.
the reason for female restroms being separated from the now male restrooms might have been the same as why they in japan have train cars for women only.
seems women are targeted in unisex spaces. unfortunately men are too,so it's better to have a room for easy targets than women only.

How do you feel about a bathroom with a sign saying transgender on it?

Definitely not something I would use at all.  I can sort of see it's worth if there are people who do not feel comfortable in either the male or female bathroom, and yet are comfortable and safe enough to use something which outs them.  I can't see many places where it would certainly be safe enough to use one of these bathrooms as you can never tell who's walking past.

I would be furious if someone tried to make me use the "transgender bathroom" because there's no way I'm outting myself for anyone, especially not if all I want to do is empty my bladder.  I spent too long running and hiding using the female bathroom in places where I people believed I was female but I passed.  I'm not going to start sneaking around again to stop people thinking of me as anything other than Alex, male.

If it was just there and no one tried to make me use it, in all honesty I'd probably start emailing the owner of the building/company to ask them what on earth they were playing at, and that if they wanted to be inclusive stick a proper unisex bathroom in, not something that singles trans people out as other.  As well as being risky in outting people, it's also helping to perpetuate all the rubbish flying around about trans people being able to use the correct bathroom for their gender identity, so when there isn't a "transgender bathroom" around we're likely to get more hassle than before.

Having a picture of what looks like a fusion of the common male and female picture on the sign?

I would have no issue with that representation at all, although it would be interpreted by most as a unisex bathroom.  I have no issues at all with unisex bathrooms though, and it would either have no effect upon, or make it more comfortable, for the majority of people.

How would you feel if this was used in all public places as well as how would you feel if this was used at your gender therapist's building where you're getting therapy done?

I touched on half of this before.  In public places it would be dangerous, and encourages people to think of us as something which is "other" to cis people.  There would be pressure for known trans people, even if they're ones who consistently get read as their gender, to use these hypothetical "transgender bathrooms", providing a constant reminder that they're trans.  Even if they weren't pressured into using them, they'd be walking past them every time they're out in public, and I wouldn't want that reminder at all, I just want to live my life.

In a gender clinic/therapist/whatever's building I sort of see a little more sense, but again, what would make this more suitable than a standard unisex toilet?  Nothing.  I can see that a "transgender bathroom" would be harmful, and personally think that a unisex is highly required in places like that. Not everyone who goes there is ready to come out openly as trans, or may only choose to present as their gender while they're there (especially places like mine where they also hold trans groups), and is worried about other people seeing them.

In my gender clinic there's actually a single stall toilet within the waiting room which is gender neutral, and outside the door to the waiting room there's a gents with three cubicles and a couple of urinals.  Even though only one of the cubicle doors lock I'd still rather use an unlocked door in there than the gender neutral one inside.  I don't know why, it doesn't really make sense, perhaps it's some bravado to show them that yes, I do live a fully male life, or it could just be that it's habit now.

How would you feel if ALL the restrooms in the gender therapist's building had that sign and word transgender on it, and them saying it's to show and say they accept trans people?

I would counter that train of thought with the arguments I've provided here, and contact the service that we sent complaints and concerns to if they did not immediately change it.  I would also warn others in case anyone else is concerned in the same way.  I would be very skeptical about their ability to provide support and understanding for the trans community, and would wish I could go somewhere else (in the UK I'd have at least a five month wait before getting to go to another gender identity clinic, but thankfully mine has been wonderful to me).  I would not use the toilet on principle, and would pay to use public ones on my way there/go at the train station.

Now again, how would you feel if all restrooms in public had this sign/name, and yes this means no unisex, or male, or female or any other restroom besides this one, so, how would you feel?

I'd be confused and angry.  Where would cisgender people go to the bathroom?  Why would anyone choose transgender over unisex to put on the doors?  Again, I'd be contacting people who made these decisions, or if it miraculously all happened over night I'd probably contact people and start a motion of going around and sticking pieces of paper saying "unisex" over the doors!  Anything to get it corrected.

Transgender is not a synonym for unisex/gender neutral, and it shouldn't be treated as such.  Putting that word on the doors in that manner would not make it any more accessible or suitable for trans people.  All it would serve to do would be to confuse the matter of what a trans person actually is, and whether they should be welcome in gendered toilets.

Perhaps if a place wants to be more trans friendly they should either remove the gendered signage and use unisex signs, or if they still wanted to keep things separate to some degree, perhaps if they didn't want to rip out urinals (although I've been in a unisex toilet where urinals were used alongside cubicals in Belguim), then they could make a slightly poorer attempt at making people feel more welcome with a "trans people welcome" sign.  It's a bit of a cop out though.

A bit off topic, but I'm not sure how I'd feel about purely having unisex toilets.  In theory it seems like a good idea, but thinking deeper about it I'd worry that women would be concerned by men hearing them dealing with sanitary products.  I'm not sure if this is a concern that cis women have, but I would see the possibility, and also men's general lack of knowledge around it, and the confusion they'd have to wards the bins.  You'd never know that they'd think they were, or what they'd put in them.  I've heard stories about tuna sandwiches being put into bins in soley female bathrooms and stinking the place out, and they should have known better really!

Quote from: Taka on October 19, 2014, 08:13:36 AM
there should be one unisex urinal room, one unisex stalls room, and one unisex room for the paranoid.
....................................

That would be a total waste of space and money. Just one unisex restroom would suffice - possibly with a separate urinal room but that again would be discrimination and separation. What is so wrong with just one unisex room as long as it has private stalls? Safety for all would be greater based on having more people present at any time and there would be no preferential treatment for anybody. Separate facilities will actually make it easier for a pervert who wants to attack somebody as they will be more likely to be alone and defenseless.

Quote from: lxndr on October 19, 2014, 08:31:15 AM
How do you feel about a bathroom with a sign saying transgender on it?
...................................

How about a sign like my avatar?

My belief is if you don't appear as the gender of the bathroom you are using then you shouldn't be in there. I don't care how one feels, if your in a dress but have a half shaven beard or sound like a man, then use the men's or don't go at all.

I was getting gendered well before I came out, but I still used the men's room, only after I started feeling awkward in the men's did I start using the women's....but I would always first look for a unisex if available.

Once I went FT it was a no brainer of what bathroom to use!!

I'd be pissed and I'd never use it. I look like a man and there is no reason for me not to use the men's. Plus, depicting trans people as a "blend" is insulting...for some it would trigger dysphoria, for those who are post-op and look cisgender the symbol does not apply.

I think i would just be happy with Unisex Toilets, but many many more Unisex Toillets. I wan't to see those replace the typical male/female restrooms. To a point I suppose.

Quote from: Just Shelly on October 19, 2014, 04:14:06 PM
My belief is if you don't appear as the gender of the bathroom you are using then you shouldn't be in there. I don't care how one feels, if your in a dress but have a half shaven beard or sound like a man, then use the men's or don't go at all.

Seriously! If I don't pass, I don't get to use the ladies'? Is that what you're saying? If my voice isn't good enough or if my hands are too big, I have to go to the men's room?

Quote from: Just Shelly on October 19, 2014, 04:14:06 PM
My belief is if you don't appear as the gender of the bathroom you are using then you shouldn't be in there. I don't care how one feels, if your in a dress but have a half shaven beard or sound like a man, then use the men's or don't go at all.

I was getting gendered well before I came out, but I still used the men's room, only after I started feeling awkward in the men's did I start using the women's....but I would always first look for a unisex if available.

Once I went FT it was a no brainer of what bathroom to use!!

Sad.

Quote from: suzifrommd on October 19, 2014, 04:48:41 PM
Seriously! If I don't pass, I don't get to use the ladies'? Is that what you're saying? If my voice isn't good enough or if my hands are too big, I have to go to the men's room?

If you have to rely on a letter written by a therapist proving your correct gender.....then maybe you shouldn't be in that restroom. Yes basically, if you look like a man in a dress then use the men's. Frankly I get sick of hearing about how someone's rights are violated because they're looked at differently when using the women's room, but a unisex is available.

I have seen many genetic (at least I think) women in the restroom that probably don't "pass" per say. The one reason I am fairly certain that they are genetic is because they are not dressed in stilettoes with a cheap wig. I'm sorry if I had my children in there at the same time, I would leave quickly or come back. Would I say something, or do anything hateful or harmful to this person....NO! but it is my choice to not let my children share this space with them.

I avoided all restrooms in my in-between stage, even though I was being gendered female consistently. For myself I didn't feel right since my name wasn't changed and still working somewhat as a man.

I have felt this same prejudice when using the men's room for the last 5-7 times, it was really scary at times even though I went straight to the stall.

Quote from: mac1 on October 19, 2014, 03:25:37 PM
How about a sign like my avatar?

That would be fine because it's not a sign for a "transgender bathroom", it's for a unisex one. Nothing wrong with those.

Just a quick note, folks. This thread isn't about who should or shouldn't be allowed in which bathrooms. And I would ask that we try and keep the discussion on the subject at hand rather than go down a road which may well wind up offending a lot of people and breaching the site terms of service with regard to suggesting parts of our community are less legitimate, real, or deserving than others.

Thanks.

In the therapist building if all the bathrooms said trans I think that is odd. In my therapist building the bathroom says bathroom.

In public if all bathrooms said trans I would think that is very odd. I think the word bathroom would be better.

Quote from: Cynthia Michelle on October 19, 2014, 07:48:50 PM
I think the word bathroom would be better.

In a perfect world, this. Osaka has a lot of gender neutral bathrooms. At my favorite grill place it's just a hallway with four stalls, all unisex, a bigger one for the disabled and strollers and another area with a sliding door to block the urinals from sight. Perfect set up.

Quote from: Sephirah on October 19, 2014, 07:28:03 PM
Just a quick note, folks. This thread isn't about who should or shouldn't be allowed in which bathrooms. And I would ask that we try and keep the discussion on the subject at hand rather than go down a road which may well wind up offending a lot of people and breaching the site terms of service with regard to suggesting parts of our community are less legitimate, real, or deserving than others.

Thanks.

Actually I'd rather you go ahead and lock this thread now. It's already reached the results that I was looking for and I now know how nearly all of us feel regarding all the questions I asked and have since thanked everyone. This thread serves no further purpose for me and I'd rather it be locked than people start squabbling and getting feelings hurt (or worse) and getting into trouble. I'll PM you to make sure you see this message and thanks ahead of time for locking this thread.

Sorry to anyone wanting to post, I typically wouldn't request a thread I created to be locked but I feel it's for the best with this one.