Community Conversation => Non-binary talk => Topic started by: shawnael on August 09, 2007, 06:19:14 PM Return to Full Version
Title: apparently being bigendered makes me crazy
Post by: shawnael on August 09, 2007, 06:19:14 PM
Post by: shawnael on August 09, 2007, 06:19:14 PM
I've had the roughest effing time this past month, and it doesn't seem to want to let up. First my boyfriend and I break up. Initially, I was fine with it, because things just weren't going to work out. He tells me later that he doesn't "want to date a boy." Ok, good thing we broke up, because he wasn't going to support me. Then I find out that he started dating our co-worker (younger, blond, cisgendered girl who I thought I was on good terms with) a week and a half later. Fine, so I guess our year and a half relationship didn't mean a whole bunch. Then I find out from this girl's brother that, Oh!, she thinks I'm insane.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? Is it so hard to fathom that even a person that is different might have feelings? Why can't I just be myself without people judging my intentions, let alone my mental health.
I've been sick for the past two weeks due to emotional damage, now I have people thinking that I'm crazy because "OMG, you can't be a boy AND a girl, LOLOLOL, weirdo!!!" Now Kenny doesn't want to come out anymore because we're scared of being judged.
And I can't talk to anyone about this, because the only people who somewhat understand aren't in a position to talk right now. I hate being the only androgyne I know. I need hugs.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? Is it so hard to fathom that even a person that is different might have feelings? Why can't I just be myself without people judging my intentions, let alone my mental health.
I've been sick for the past two weeks due to emotional damage, now I have people thinking that I'm crazy because "OMG, you can't be a boy AND a girl, LOLOLOL, weirdo!!!" Now Kenny doesn't want to come out anymore because we're scared of being judged.
And I can't talk to anyone about this, because the only people who somewhat understand aren't in a position to talk right now. I hate being the only androgyne I know. I need hugs.
Title: Re: apparently being bigendered makes me crazy
Post by: Sarah Louise on August 09, 2007, 06:31:16 PM
Post by: Sarah Louise on August 09, 2007, 06:31:16 PM
Sorry you had to go through that. It is unfortunate, but some people just don't know how to deal with someone who is different than them.
Hang in there, you will be ok.
Sarah L.
Hang in there, you will be ok.
Sarah L.
Title: Re: apparently being bigendered makes me crazy
Post by: SarahFaceDoom on August 09, 2007, 06:37:59 PM
Post by: SarahFaceDoom on August 09, 2007, 06:37:59 PM
Hugs!
Stay strong. They are the ones that are acting insane. You have told them how you feel, and how you identify--for them to answer that honesty with that type of treatment is completely out of line. Whatever genders you are, you are a human being, and deserve to be given that respect and dignity. You should look for better people to be around.
I swear sometimes, empathy is dead on this planet.
Stay strong. They are the ones that are acting insane. You have told them how you feel, and how you identify--for them to answer that honesty with that type of treatment is completely out of line. Whatever genders you are, you are a human being, and deserve to be given that respect and dignity. You should look for better people to be around.
I swear sometimes, empathy is dead on this planet.
Title: Re: apparently being bigendered makes me crazy
Post by: emmi/andy on August 09, 2007, 06:57:05 PM
Post by: emmi/andy on August 09, 2007, 06:57:05 PM
*hugs*
People can be so cruel. Just remember that you're not the one who is wrong or crazy. Things will get better. <3
People can be so cruel. Just remember that you're not the one who is wrong or crazy. Things will get better. <3
Title: Re: apparently being bigendered makes me crazy
Post by: Maebh on August 09, 2007, 07:18:58 PM
Post by: Maebh on August 09, 2007, 07:18:58 PM
Quote from: shawnael on August 09, 2007, 06:19:14 PM
I need hugs.
There you go:
:icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug:
Feeling better?
LLL&R
Maebh
Title: Re: apparently being bigendered makes me crazy
Post by: shawnael on August 09, 2007, 07:30:03 PM
Post by: shawnael on August 09, 2007, 07:30:03 PM
Quote from: Maebh on August 09, 2007, 07:18:58 PM
There you go:
:icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug:
Feeling better?
LLL&R
Maebh
Lol, yeah, a bit. Thanks, everyone.
I'm just hurt and angry. I've been lied to and disrespected. I've been looked down on for trying to express who I am. It's times like these I wish I was normal.
I wish I knew what normal is.
Title: Re: apparently being bigendered makes me crazy
Post by: Melissa-kitty on August 09, 2007, 07:36:46 PM
Post by: Melissa-kitty on August 09, 2007, 07:36:46 PM
Good riddance to those pair!
Empathy and good friendship does seem uncommon, but I suspect you will taste both. You are who you are, friend, and probably a darn fine person. Keep at it!
Tara
Empathy and good friendship does seem uncommon, but I suspect you will taste both. You are who you are, friend, and probably a darn fine person. Keep at it!
Tara
Title: Re: apparently being bigendered makes me crazy
Post by: Laurry on August 09, 2007, 08:49:31 PM
Post by: Laurry on August 09, 2007, 08:49:31 PM
Bless your heart, dear. You were betrayed by a lover and a friend...that can't be easy for you. And, as if that weren't enough, they scorned your openness and honesty by calling you crazy.
In time, you will come to realize that they are the ones who are crazy and that you are better off without them...but it still hurts.
Big ole giant hugs......Laurry
In time, you will come to realize that they are the ones who are crazy and that you are better off without them...but it still hurts.
Big ole giant hugs......Laurry
Title: Re: apparently being bigendered makes me crazy
Post by: Davilee on August 09, 2007, 10:40:13 PM
Post by: Davilee on August 09, 2007, 10:40:13 PM
I can just reiterate what everyone else has already said.....
Many people have a limited mind and think in only certain modes.....
They feel threatened that reality isnt really as stable as they think
They have some rude awakenings ahead methinks...
Hey,...empathy isnt dead,...there are people like us around allover,we care about each other.
I really hurt in my heart for ya....
damn,I know the bad thing is its right in your face where you work..serious bummer
Many people have a limited mind and think in only certain modes.....
They feel threatened that reality isnt really as stable as they think
They have some rude awakenings ahead methinks...
Hey,...empathy isnt dead,...there are people like us around allover,we care about each other.
I really hurt in my heart for ya....
damn,I know the bad thing is its right in your face where you work..serious bummer
Title: Re: apparently being bigendered makes me crazy
Post by: Kendall on August 09, 2007, 10:49:07 PM
Post by: Kendall on August 09, 2007, 10:49:07 PM
The last month sounds like a bad roller coaster. :o
Breaking up of love and friendship. :'(
Thats the real question, is "how to find someone good for you".
Where you can be yourself, and have love at the same time.
Sounds like time to date again. Try dating a few new people just for fun, without any commitment. Or try a group date, getting several people together to do something. :angel:
Or you can do revenge. Try getting one of their best friends for a few days. >:D Us crazy people have to have fun with those normals sometime.
Breaking up of love and friendship. :'(
QuoteWHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? Is it so hard to fathom that even a person that is different might have feelings? Why can't I just be myself without people judging my intentions, let alone my mental health.??? :-\
I've been sick for the past two weeks due to emotional damage, now I have people thinking that I'm crazy because "OMG, you can't be a boy AND a girl, LOLOLOL, weirdo!!!" Now Kenny doesn't want to come out anymore because we're scared of being judged.
Thats the real question, is "how to find someone good for you".
Where you can be yourself, and have love at the same time.
Sounds like time to date again. Try dating a few new people just for fun, without any commitment. Or try a group date, getting several people together to do something. :angel:
Or you can do revenge. Try getting one of their best friends for a few days. >:D Us crazy people have to have fun with those normals sometime.
Title: Re: apparently being bigendered makes me crazy
Post by: Seshatneferw on August 10, 2007, 03:16:12 AM
Post by: Seshatneferw on August 10, 2007, 03:16:12 AM
Quote from: shawnael on August 09, 2007, 06:19:14 PM
WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? Is it so hard to fathom that even a person that is different might have feelings?
Nothing's wrong with you. However, it's easy to forget that other people have feelings -- regardless of whether they are different or not. Sounds like your 'friends' fell into that one.
Quote from: shawnael on August 09, 2007, 06:19:14 PM
I have people thinking that I'm crazy because "OMG, you can't be a boy AND a girl, LOLOLOL, weirdo!!!" Now Kenny doesn't want to come out anymore because we're scared of being judged.
Unfortunately, there will always be people like that, so try to remember that being a weirdo doesn't make you crazy. It just makes you different from most people, and in a way that scares some of them. I mean, a twentyish boy would have to be pretty confident in his masculinity and heterosexuality in order to have a girlfriend with a visible male side. It's not hopeless, though, it just makes it a bit harder to find someone who is comfortable with the idea of having a bigendered *-friend.
Quote from: shawnael on August 09, 2007, 06:19:14 PM
I need hugs.
You already got some, but here's a couple more. :icon_hug: :icon_hug:
These ones are especially for Kenny: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug:
Nfr
Title: Re: apparently being bigendered makes me crazy
Post by: Prince_Eric on August 10, 2007, 07:46:41 AM
Post by: Prince_Eric on August 10, 2007, 07:46:41 AM
There's nothing wrong with you. They were being heartless. Most people are afraid of what they don't understand. It will feel better when you are with people who can relate to you.
Hugs. :icon_hug:
Hugs. :icon_hug:
Title: Re: apparently being bigendered makes me crazy
Post by: Mia and Marq on August 11, 2007, 05:58:28 PM
Post by: Mia and Marq on August 11, 2007, 05:58:28 PM
Well according to the title I'm(we're) crazy so what good could a crazy offer you?
I'll tell you one thing though, I realized yet again last night how much Marq and Mia really rely on each other and despite what others may say, we need to be together. I'll spare everyone the details because the whole situation that occured yesterday is really quite embarassing. Without that balance they have I really will fall apart.
But rest assured there are men and women and everything inbetween out there that will not only understand and accept you both, but they will do everything in their power to embrace you as a whole. Yes there will be bumps in the road but you'll find where you're going soon enough.
Be proud of the fact that you are different because you're blessed with the ability to see much more of the world then many others having two perspectives to every situation.
If you need to talk you two, PM us please.
Marq and Mia
Crazy? I think not.
Unique and wonderful, yes.
I'll tell you one thing though, I realized yet again last night how much Marq and Mia really rely on each other and despite what others may say, we need to be together. I'll spare everyone the details because the whole situation that occured yesterday is really quite embarassing. Without that balance they have I really will fall apart.
But rest assured there are men and women and everything inbetween out there that will not only understand and accept you both, but they will do everything in their power to embrace you as a whole. Yes there will be bumps in the road but you'll find where you're going soon enough.
Be proud of the fact that you are different because you're blessed with the ability to see much more of the world then many others having two perspectives to every situation.
If you need to talk you two, PM us please.
Marq and Mia
Crazy? I think not.
Unique and wonderful, yes.
Title: Re: apparently being bigendered makes me crazy
Post by: RebeccaFog on August 11, 2007, 07:01:22 PM
Post by: RebeccaFog on August 11, 2007, 07:01:22 PM
Yeah. I can understand your feelings at this time, but they will pass. When they do, you will be stronger and more experienced.
You're definitely not crazy. I mean no harm with this remark, but the people you are hanging out with are still not mature. I sometimes think it takes the norms longer to reach our level of wisdom.
Maybe you can find a Trans group nearby just to meet people you know will (hopefully) be more open minded. I'm not saying that you have to hang around with and date only trans people. I am suggesting it is a good way to further your understanding of yourself and to have a community you can interact with totally as yourself while you continue adapting and growing in your personal life.
Hope I made sense.
Rebis