Susan's Place Transgender Resources

So there was this girl I met about a month ago now and there was something there right off the bat. Last Monday I told her I liked her and she said she liked me too. I hadn't told her I was trans yet though and now I'm regretting not telling her.. Ok well we were good until Thursday that's when she started ignoring me and avoiding me... So the first thing that came to mind is that she found out and turns out she did .. I haven't confirmed it with her yet though because she doesn't want to talk to me but I'm 100% sure that's the reason she even deleted my number because when I texted her asking if we could talk she asked who it was and that really stung ... Should I even bother trying to explain or should I just let it go? I really do like her though and what if she decides to listen to what I have to say should I talk to her then? I'm just really sad right now and in need of some guidance

Let it go sweetie or at least don't obsess over her. There is someone out there for you just be patient. If she gets over the shock maybe she will come around, but just reading what you wrote, no.

Yeah, sounds like the best approach is to just be yourself, move on and let her notice you if she feels something. From what you said she already knows you like her, and she said that she liked you, so you don't have to wonder about that.? If someone outed you or gossiped, theres nothing you can do about it, except just be nice, considerate and kind to her(and everyone), and prove anyone wrong that might have said anything negative to her about you.

Sounds like it's her loss if she ignores you more..  ;)

So sorry to hear.

Unfortunately there are a lot of people out there that will automatically eliminate transpeople from their dating pool.  It's probably best you found out closer to sooner rather than later that she is likely one of them. 

There are people out there who can see past these things and love you for who you truly are.  You will find her.  It took a long time for me to find my perfect match (and I found her when I wasn't even looking!), but we are still good after 22 years.

All the best to you, and hugs...
Jill

Thank you all for your advice ..I'll try to move on

Forget about it. She doesn't get it and she's not interested. I've been rejected by a few girls in the past 6 months who had no idea I was trans and what I've learned is that once their interest is gone, forget about them. Do not chase anyone. You'll only end up hurting yourself more.

moving on is most likely the only path

I would walk away and work on finding a new.

Ok I will try my best with moving on thank you all

So okay um something happened... Well since we're both in afjrotc we had a military ball the weekend before the one that just passed. Well she took me to dance with her and like I kind of ruined it.. I jumped the gun and kind of immediately asked her why she stopped talking to me and she said because she was mad and I asked her why.. She just kept shaking her head and I asked if we could talk outside because the music was loud and everything but she just kept shaking her head... Then she got uncomfortable when I asked her why and then she left... After that we kept looking at each other a lot... But she didn't come up to me and neither did I go up to her.. Well on the following Monday I asked her, so we're just going back to ignoring each other? And she goes, yup... Like ????  I mean i don't want to give up on her and i don't know why I still have hope because apparently she has a boyfriend now ... I mean the fact that she came up to me to dance could still mean she still likes me a bit no? I just am so frustrated  sorry to you all for being annoying

She says you're just going back to ignoring each other.  That means, she's ignoring you and she wants you to ignore her.  You should respect her "no."  Even if she didn't mean it, she deserves to have it respected.  And you deserve to move on to someone who likes you and isn't going to jerk you around. 

Just let it go.  She doesn't like you in that way, or she did and finding out you were trans was a deal breaker for her.  She said she wants you guys to go back to ignoring each other.  That's a pretty clear "no" in my book.  So do just that, ignore her, respect her wishes and don't attempt to contact her or get her to want to be with you or any of that.  When a guy can't back off after a woman clearly says no, it's pretty pathetic. 

While it does suck to not know the reason or what she's thinking, it is best you try to move on. It seems she might need some time and space to figure things out if she does know you are trans. The fact that she came up to you for a dance indicates that a part of her was willing to try to see past it, but maybe she just doesn't know enough about it yet and doesn't know how to be around you. I do think that it's a little bit childish for her not to even give you a reason for why she ignored you the first time, then give you a bit of hope and then walk away again. To be honest, you don't deserve that. You#re already going through something quite hard and the last thing you need is someone who's going to make it all about them, that's an emotional ride you don't want to get on. Give her space like she wants it, try to move on and find someone else. If and when she's ready she will come to you, in which case you need to let her know that you're prepared to talk to her and explain everything to her but if she's going to mess you around then you won't stand for it (if you're comfortable).

Good luck :) don't worry too much, it sucks, but you'll find someone who will like you just for who you are.