Susan's Place Transgender Resources

The one time I really needed people I remained alone.  That old pic of me was so hard to post.  Anyway ->-bleeped-<- this, I'm gone.  Deleted all my posts, that hurt the most it was like deleting my new life, the ones I could see through tears anyway.

Huh? What's up girl?  ???

Big hug! I'm not sure what you're referring to either.

Hugs, Devlyn

What's wrong, sweetheart? *hugs you tight*

 ??? But here is a hug.

Um, you got Izzy, Devlyn and Pikachu on you now. I would respond myself!  ;)

Don't you make me let Sephirah loose!  ;D

Um sorry Dani. The account deletion is not going through until you let us know what is going on. Sorry

Now you've gone and made me use my confused sad face... ???

Let us know what's up. Hugs.

Anybody have any ideas where this came from?  :-\

I'm just taking a shot in the dark here based on the few clues in your message, but if you're upset because you think you can't successfully transition and you just feel like there's no point in going through with it, I promise you that's not true, sweetie. I'm sure you can transition and be a happy and beautiful woman. Please don't get discouraged. *gently takes your hand and gives it a comforting squeeze*

Dani, what is wrong? Hugs
Mariah


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I was one who seen your pictures and as Pikachu said you can transition I feel with very little troubles socially.

Question is personally is the issue?

We are here, so hang in
Hugs

I too saw your pictures earlier, I thought you were doing well.?
The pics looked good, showed before and currently you in transition.
Im sorry I didnt post support, I should have.  :'(

Quote from: Jessica Merriman on October 17, 2014, 04:04:50 PM
Don't you make me let Sephirah loose!  ;D

:P

Sweetie, I know how hard it is to feel vulnerable. I have a feeling I know what this is in reference to. And I'm so sorry you felt that there was no one there when you needed them.

You're not alone, okay? Even if people don't immediately say it, there are those who care about you and want the best for you. There's a lot going on here. A lot of emotion each person is dealing with, and fighting through. That sometimes makes it hard to see when someone else is crying out for that hand to reach out and tell them it's going to be okay.

That doesn't mean no one wants to, though, And that no one cares. It really doesn't. Sometimes, there's just a delay while folks battle their own demons, or sort their own issues out. Sometimes, you just have to be patient, hon, and know that there are folks who are all fighting the same internal battle with themselves.

Please, stick around. From what I've seen, you're already living that new life, you're starting to be yourself and show your innermost feelings. That's a good thing, sweetie. Keep going.

*extra huge hug*

this is a nice  place to hang around.  please let us know  the problem

OK here goes.  After spending the last hour partially tearful (I cant seem to cry yet)  although on the inside COMPLETELY messed up, I decided to come back for one last check.  Saw ALL the posts and reactivated my account.

This is what happened.  Some time ago I was so thrilled to read all the posts when someone would put up a before and semi after pic.  Well I finally got the nerve to do this myself even if it was not alot of change, the makeup etc, but it still meant the world to me.  A few days went by and no replies, another few days go by and still nothing.  After a week or so it finally slipped onto the next page.  I kind of got a little desperate, thinking well 'maybe' for whatever reason something wasnt going right so I kind of swallowed my pride and replied to my own post to bump it back to page one.  Same thing, so I deleted it.

That was awhile back but yesterday I was so excited because I took all new pics and felt really really good about them.  Now I know 3 1/2 months is just a drop in the bucket but I was kind on top of the world about what I 'thought ' I saw.  So I posted them. I got two replies 'thank you both sooooo much'  but without downgrading the remarks I was waiting for any comments about a change in looks.  Then today I check back and no change....none.  I decide to reply to my own post once more and include a pic of me that I REALLY did not want to look at because of the look in those eyes.  I have only had two pics taken of me in the last 40+ years and now they were both up for all to see along with the ones I felt so good about.    Nothing

I dont believe myself to be so fragile that my entire self view depends on others positive remarks but those two situations I guess was just too much for me and I kind of collapsed inward.  I started deleting all the topics I had started, I got more and more tearful as each one was gone as they were my record of each amazing step I've taken on the path towards my new life and to delete them almost felt like I was undoing it all.  The momentum though at that point could not be stopped.

Well there it is, but no matter what I feel, I'm back.  Dani

Dani, you know you're beautiful (you're a woman, and merely being female carries with it indescribable beauty).

Seeking validation from other people, while it feels good (if they cooperate), often sets us up for disappointment and frustration. You're a beautiful, special, sensitive person, unique and valuable. Nothing that anyone says or does not say in response to your pictures will change that.

Can you keep that in mind?

Dani, sometimes people don't respond to picture threads because they either don't know what to say, or don't want to risk saying anything that would either make someone feel bad about themselves, or feel like they were being told what they wanted to hear. Please don't take that as a reflection of no one caring or no one wanting to say anything.

It took a lot of courage to post your pictures here. Something I don't have, I'll be honest with you. Only a couple of people have ever seen what I look like (and those were taken several years ago), so let me tell you that you're already a braver woman than I. By quite a long way.

I am so glad you decided to stay though, sweetie. And again, I am very, very sorry that you didn't get the response that you were hoping for. Please, please don't think that means people don't care. We do.

*superhug*

Quote from: Newgirl Dani on October 17, 2014, 06:17:58 PM
OK here goes.  After spending the last hour partially tearful (I cant seem to cry yet)  although on the inside COMPLETELY messed up, I decided to come back for one last check.  Saw ALL the posts and reactivated my account.

This is what happened.  Some time ago I was so thrilled to read all the posts when someone would put up a before and semi after pic.  Well I finally got the nerve to do this myself even if it was not alot of change, the makeup etc, but it still meant the world to me.  A few days went by and no replies, another few days go by and still nothing.  After a week or so it finally slipped onto the next page.  I kind of got a little desperate, thinking well 'maybe' for whatever reason something wasnt going right so I kind of swallowed my pride and replied to my own post to bump it back to page one.  Same thing, so I deleted it.

That was awhile back but yesterday I was so excited because I took all new pics and felt really really good about them.  Now I know 3 1/2 months is just a drop in the bucket but I was kind on top of the world about what I 'thought ' I saw.  So I posted them. I got two replies 'thank you both sooooo much'  but without downgrading the remarks I was waiting for any comments about a change in looks.  Then today I check back and no change....none.  I decide to reply to my own post once more and include a pic of me that I REALLY did not want to look at because of the look in those eyes.  I have only had two pics taken of me in the last 40+ years and now they were both up for all to see along with the ones I felt so good about.    Nothing

I dont believe myself to be so fragile that my entire self view depends on others positive remarks but those two situations I guess was just too much for me and I kind of collapsed inward.  I started deleting all the topics I had started, I got more and more tearful as each one was gone as they were my record of each amazing step I've taken on the path towards my new life and to delete them almost felt like I was undoing it all.  The momentum though at that point could not be stopped.

Well there it is, but no matter what I feel, I'm back.  Dani

*hugs you tightly*

Sweetie, I didn't see your pictures, or I would have commented on them. I almost never look at the picture threads. They tend to depress me, seeing how much progress everyone else is making in comparison to my own. But I'm sure you looked beautiful. Please don't think there's anything wrong because people don't reply.

I'm so, so glad you decided to stay. :)

Glad you're back! For what it's worth, they chased me out of a picture thread because I wasn't planning on transitioning. They're a fickle group in those threads.

Hugs, Devlyn

I'm happy your staying here too.. I always love your nature photography in the photo section, and other things you post.

I'm the same way Dani.. 3 weeks ago I nearly deleted my Facebook account, feeling my friends were just passing over me and ignoring me and things I felt important. Truth is I've done it several times already, I'm very insecure about such things.

Please tell someone when you feel left out again, tell me, I'll surely post to whats important to you.!

One thing about pics around here is that the younger you are, the more comments you are likely to get on them. Its typical. Its also why some of us older ones don't bother posting in those topics anymore. Its got nothing to do with what you may think, its just good old fashion ageism...

Glad you're back! :D

yes, I tried to delete awhile go , but  couldn't freakin find the button

Glad to hear you are staying with the family.

You are on the right path and as I said you should not have any issues moving forward.

Looking good girl.

Hugs

Also fyi any Mod or Admin could restore a special topic if you wish.

Quote from: Sephirah on October 17, 2014, 06:26:34 PM
Dani, sometimes people don't respond to picture threads because they either don't know what to say, or don't want to risk saying anything that would either make someone feel bad about themselves, or feel like they were being told what they wanted to hear. Please don't take that as a reflection of no one caring or no one wanting to say anything.

This ^ is pretty much exactly how I end up feeling... I never know quite what to say so I usually don't.  Then I feel guilty about not saying anything, because I KNOW how much emotion is behind each post, just to be there in the thread.  It took a lot for me to post mine - kind of a band-aid rip thing.

I'm sorry if I saw yours and didn't say anything...

I'm glad you changed your mind.  *big hug*

Thanks ladies so much, the tears came back but of a different type.  I suppose I was just wanting at least one reply over a three week thing and then this last episode yesterday and today kinda tipped my scale so to speak.  and thanks about the nature pics, I'll have to resize them because every thread I've started is now gone.  Your all terrific  Dani

Quote from: stephaniec on October 17, 2014, 06:43:35 PM
yes, I tried to delete awhile go , but  couldn't freakin find the button

Hmmmm, yep, I was gettin kinda mad cause I could'nt find it either.  thanks I'm feeling lighter, boy that took alot out of me

Geesh I got worried with the start of this thread but hey, nice recovery turn Dani.  I think Jamie R D is right on about the pics.  I am an old girl and not looking for feedback about it.  I was hugely self conscious when I first started going out and, for better or worse, i found what was a big deal to me was nada to the masses.  Our validation is not likely coming from the prettiest princesses around.  You have earned the right to be yourself.  Thanks for coming back in.

I told you I had a Sephirah and wasn't afraid to use her! *giggles* She makes all the boo boo's better! PM one of us next time for pete's sake.  :icon_hug:

I'm actually looking forward to seeing the nature shots.  I do this myself as a hobby, and I never got to see yours because I had not seen the photo section yet.

:)

Like others have said I generally don't know what to say either when it comes to pics. So I generally don't comment or even view threads with them. You looked great in the pics especially the newer pic where you are clearly happier. I'm glad your back. Hugs.
Mariah.

Quote from: Newgirl Dani on October 17, 2014, 06:47:13 PM
Thanks ladies so much, the tears came back but of a different type.  I suppose I was just wanting at least one reply over a three week thing and then this last episode yesterday and today kinda tipped my scale so to speak.  and thanks about the nature pics, I'll have to resize them because every thread I've started is now gone.  Your all terrific  Dani

Quote from: Jessica Merriman on October 17, 2014, 06:55:23 PM
I told you I had a Sephirah and wasn't afraid to use her! *giggles* She makes all the boo boo's better!

Haha! I definitely agree with this. I think of Sephirah as this forum's guardian angel. :)

I've had the same thing happen Dani. Post a photo you are proud of and not a single comment then one of the young girls posts a pic and the comments go wild and your photo gets buried behind 10 "wow" comments. I felt a bit hurt too. Maybe we need a photo thread for some different age groups or something, I don't know. Keep in mind that cis women feel the same when they get compared to the young ones!

Anyways, I'm really sorry you got your feelings hurt and happy to have you back!!! 

Dear Dani,

I am kind of new here, so I am still getting comfortable adding my two cents.

Anyway, I think I may have seen your pictures the other day, and it seemed like they were taken from such a distance, I could not really make out all that much detail.  So, I did not respond--didn't know what to add.  I do think your avatar looks very femme, and it is very brave to reveal yourself here.  Keep your chin up; people here do care.

Best,
Cate

I do very much like your avatar, too, sweetie. :)

Quote from: Newgirl Dani on October 17, 2014, 06:17:58 PM
OK here goes.  After spending the last hour partially tearful (I cant seem to cry yet)  although on the inside COMPLETELY messed up, I decided to come back for one last check.  Saw ALL the posts and reactivated my account.

This is what happened.  Some time ago I was so thrilled to read all the posts when someone would put up a before and semi after pic.  Well I finally got the nerve to do this myself even if it was not alot of change, the makeup etc, but it still meant the world to me.  A few days went by and no replies, another few days go by and still nothing.  After a week or so it finally slipped onto the next page.  I kind of got a little desperate, thinking well 'maybe' for whatever reason something wasnt going right so I kind of swallowed my pride and replied to my own post to bump it back to page one.  Same thing, so I deleted it.

That was awhile back but yesterday I was so excited because I took all new pics and felt really really good about them.  Now I know 3 1/2 months is just a drop in the bucket but I was kind on top of the world about what I 'thought ' I saw.  So I posted them. I got two replies 'thank you both sooooo much'  but without downgrading the remarks I was waiting for any comments about a change in looks.  Then today I check back and no change....none.  I decide to reply to my own post   once more and include a pic of me that I REALLY did not want to look at because of the look in those eyes.  I have only had two pics taken of me in the last 40+ years and now they were both up for all to see along with the ones I felt so good about.    Nothing

I dont believe myself to be so fragile that my entire self view depends on others positive remarks but those two situations I guess was just too much for me and I kind of collapsed inward.  I started deleting all the topics I had started, I got more and more tearful as each one was gone as they were my record of each amazing step I've taken on the path towards my new life and to delete them almost felt like I was undoing it all.  The momentum though at that point could not be stopped.

Well there it is, but no matter what I feel, I'm back.  Dani

*hugs Dani*  :)

Try not to be too up set girl. Most of us get the same lack of responses here when we post some very private things such as pics. I can certainly relate...But on the other hand we may not get responses on pictures. But! Just look at all the love and care that's been casted onto you here and now when you truly needed it the most.

We're a rough family here but we're here for each other. Talk with us and we will listen to you.    ;)

Love your jacket!

I have come to realize that nobody has the time to read everything that gets posted here, myself included.  I try to offer support and hugs to all that need it, but some posts unfortunately fall through the cracks.  I'm pretty sure a good chunk of what I have posted here was never read.

You know you can always PM me.  I don't bite.

Quote from: Kyra553 on October 17, 2014, 10:05:57 PM
*hugs Dani*  :)

Try not to be too up set girl. Most of us get the same lack of responses here when we post some very private things such as pics. I can certainly relate...But on the other hand we may not get responses on pictures. But! Just look at all the love and care that's been casted onto you here and now when you truly needed it the most.

We're a rough family here but we're here for each other. Talk with us and we will listen to you.    ;)

A few months after starting here I posted a deeply personal insight into what I felt was at the core of my dysphoria and so forth - got one (lovely) response and that was it. I wouldn't say it was soul destroying but it did make me wonder why I bothered. Thing is that not everyone is going to know what to say in the moment, not everyone is in an emotionally clear space to respond, many others don't even see it to begin with before it is swallowed by all the other posts. If I might suggest though, when you do feel like posting those before and after pics again perhaps do it as part of the Before & After thread, you might get more people commenting there rather than with a separate post. :)

It's so true, Grace.

It does really suck when it's like

*pours heart out*

*crickets*

Aww hunni :( ♥*Hugs*♥ of course it doesn't feel nice when it seems like everyone is ignoring you.  I hope you're feeling better now that you've seen all these wonderful replies though - you clearly are loved so don't forget that :) ♥

Glad to see that you're still here, Dani.  There's so many people here who support you and truly care about you. :)

Just to clear something up. Only Admin will delete your account. And we talk to you first to make sure it is something you really want to do.

When you join you are family.
Dani, you are family, and never forget it

Hugs

Cindy

Hi Dani,  I saw the pictures you posted. Sometimes I look over the site at work searching the site for insurance and health related information and I don't log in.  I was going to comment and then poof! they were gone. 

I can see the subtle differences in your before and after. It always amazes me. You are coming along and looking sassy! I do not know if you are on hormones, but something has definitely changed. Your aura? To me, I would say your skin. I always notice skin and somehow it looks softer and finer. You've got the hormone glow going. Keep doing what you are doing because its working for you.

I know how you must have felt when no one replied. I remember when I first found the site and I was desperate for information and *sigh* no replies to my dilemma -- but I kinda expected it.

By the way, I think everyone who posts their pic is so very brave and I am in so in awe of that;  which means I am in awe of You :-)

I am really really at a loss for words, with the exception of one group of people to which I belong, I have never ever experienced anything like this.  It is quite a journey, to go from a fairly well lit and increasingly brighter place into a dark one, and then to make the trip back again.  I do not relish the idea of ever doing that again but there was alot to be taken from it that could not have been realized in any other way.  I now know in much sharper detail the 'look' of the brighter having sat in the darker.  To say thanks to all is an understatement, there is so much love here.  I do have to say a very special thanks to those comments sent from the new people here on this board.  Your responses were perfection, and the total of all these gems, I will carry with me always.  Much Love,  Dani

Gee Dani I just read your post here for the first time today and felt bad for you. I usually don't spend as much time on the photo threads as I used to, sometimes don't go there for a week or more and often never comment on the pix, I feel pretty much like Jaime Renee does about posting my own mug shots there on account of my age, I'm not pretty and am no longer pushing transition, just on maintenance so I consider the photo threads something the new and younger girls need for personal validation. On the other hand if you intend to post in before and after, it will always be better if you get a year or more on HRT and your personal changes so that it becomes so dramatic that people fell constrained to comment. Meanwhile girlfriend, I think you are a pretty nice gal and want you to feel free to pm me anytime, I will always get back to you.