Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I guess this thread is more about being in love with someone, and they dont love you back - im a transgendered woman that fell in love with another transgendered woman and even though we havent know each other for very long, and even thought i knew i shouldnt have, because we were friends at first, we went on a date together and had fun, and we are both lonely people and i couldnt help it, but i fell in love with her.

now at this point i wrote her a letter and i was hoping for your opinions, im really at a lost on what to do :(

here is what i wrote her;

first i need to tell you i ->-bleeped-<-ed up, i fell for you. i didnt plan on it and i cant help feeling the way i do, there i said it and im not sorry...

but it leaves me not knowing what to do and very scared...

so if your not interested, ever, then if you could do the humane thing and tell me that. so it doesnt go any further and i wont get hurt any worst that i already am for telling you this...

i know your going through a lot too and this is probably the last thing you need, but im the kind of person that likes to lay my cards on the table so we know where we stand... i mean that in a good way...

if your not interested, we can still be friends, but you will have to give me time away from you so i can clear my mind...

even though im being selfish, all i want is for you to be happy...

i wont reply anymore or bug you, so if you dont reply, i'll know how you feel, and this will be our last communication till i know my mind is clear and my heart is safe...

I Love You Rayna, and what ever direction you choose, im still gonna wish you total happiness...

take care sis... AJ

 :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug:

I hope you get a positive reply back Alaena! If not we will be here to listen and hopefully in some way help you heal.  :)

Welcome to Susan's,

I think the letter is honest and beautiful. I hope there is chemistry, good luck, hugs. 

Awww... It's very heartfelt. I hope she feels the same. I'm wishing the best for you, dear.

*hugs*

putting the cards on the table is a whole lot better then imagining something that never was

thats just the way i am, you know dive in with both feet, im not one to play games or beat around the bush, instead i stupidly blurt out what i think and it generally gets me trouble, i guess that comes from being a army brat, we always was moving my whole life growing up, and i had to learn to make friends quick by putting my head on the chopping block and wait and see who is the first to swing the axe, which enable me to find who was my friend and who is my enemy...

but she is beautiful, we seemed to be on the same level of thinking and we enjoyed each others company, so what did i do, i blew it and pushed to fast and i think i lost a friend and what i was hoping to be a solid relationship... :(

but as of this moment, there has been no reply from her, which i gave her a way out so she wouldnt have to go through a lengthy explanation as why not...

the only thing i have is my work, if i work hard enough i can shake this hurt...

Thank You everyone for your reply's, it really has helped...

*hugs* There's still time. She may respond yet. And either way, I think you were very brave to tell her how you feel. I think that's admirable, and I think love is always worth the risk.

im not so sure if it is worth the risk, im leaning towards letting my heart turn to cement, cause it would surely be better to be cold and heartless, compared to the way i feel now...

*hugs*

That's not true, sweetie. I used to feel that way. After my last relationship, I thought I'd never love again. I thought I never could love again, as much as I wanted to. But then an angel came along and healed me.

Love is the greatest thing in this world, sis. It's a risk to put your heart out there, and when its rejected or abused, it hurts so, so bad. But when you finally find the one who makes it feel whole... the one who can make it feel so warm, fluttery and safe, then it's all worth it.

Whatever happens from here, you'll find that love someday, too.

Don't despair, sis. Maybe she just needs time to process things.

Thank You Pikachu, i wish i could feel that way, its hard to think that i might find someone one day, especially after trying for so long. it makes me want to give up. ive felt this before many times and it always seems to end the same... and with a record like that, i know its me messing things up, like im afraid to love and then self sabotage myself...

i dont know - right now im so confused and hurting. i know i can over come this feeling, but it really spins me out...

I've been there and I know how deep the pain can go, but things do change in a nanosecond there is always hope

isnt that the truth Stephanie - i ray of hope, it was suttle, but we are talking again - so i didnt lose a friend which would of been the worse thing ever, if i did.

i told her,  "i promise i would try not to fall in love with her this time"...

i really hate being like this, ya know totally off sink where nothing runs smooth, bumping into walls, that kind of thing...

we have our second date tomorrow and talking steady again, but this time we both know where we stand, and im gonna slow the "you know what" down - I want to Thank everyone here, with my emotions high i needed all the help i could get.

i can only hope that i can help others with their problems, im here for you sisters and brothers, Love You All :)

*huggles*

the day and night went very well, she called me to ride her motorcycle she just bought and take it to her house, because she doesnt know how to ride yet. after that later on that night we went out to the copa at the habanna - it was short and very sweet, because it a really long day.

the good news is i still have my friend and i didnt lose her. who knows maybe in time we will become lovers, but for now im just glad she is still in my life :)

So glad to hear that. And, yes, very good things can happen to those who are patient. :)

thats always been my down fall, no patience - i still hurt inside for wanting her as a lover, but i came to the reality, that i would give that up, just as long as she remains my friend.

its what truly matters right now, cause i cant image her not being in my life...

Give her some time, sweetie. She may decide she wants to be more after she's had time to see how good you are to her.

im sorry everyone, but i started my day in good mood and happy, till i read what the girl im in love with wrote on her FB, "can anyone find me a girl" which i pretty much told her before that i pray for the day when her and i will be lovers, and if not that i would not stand in her way if she was interested in someone else.

which her reply was that she isnt looking for any relationship right now, that it would be best to just be friends... which was kewl, i understood. but when i read what else she wrote my heart fell to ground...

i just cant believe this with my heart, i havent felt this way about anyone in the longest time and one time i take chance i get my heart dragged all over the place like garbage.

im so screwed, i really dont know what to do other than just sit and cry :(