Site News and Information => Introductions => Topic started by: speckyhailey on October 22, 2014, 03:47:33 AM Return to Full Version
Title: Introduction
Post by: speckyhailey on October 22, 2014, 03:47:33 AM
Post by: speckyhailey on October 22, 2014, 03:47:33 AM
Hi everyone,
I am Nathan (though when I transition I hope to be calls Hailey), and I am a mtf transgendered human being living in the UK. For the past year I have had intense feelings about my gender identity and have been very distressed at my male body, resulting in me feeling quite depressed and anxious about myself. During this period I have been contemplating suicide and have had a few 'near-attempts' (as in stopped just before the attempt for reasons such as a phone call from my mum). Throughout my childhood I felt very androgynous and was happy to mix with everyone as I didn't see difference between gender but bullying and peer pressure led to me being pushed into a masculine person. It was only during puberty that I wanted to transition as I began to detest certain male features such as increased body hair (that I wasn't able to shave in fear of teasing and harassment), increased penis and testes size, an increase in erections, and increased muscle mass in certain places. I saw the changes that took place to female bodies and had a great desire for that to happen to me. I also began to crossdress and felt more comfortable in typically female clothes than I had in male clothes.
Yesterday, I came out to my Mum, and after asking a few questions, she was supportive of me and she will talk to my dad about it next week. Hopefully, I can get an appointment with my GP in the next few weeks to discuss this and be referred to a GIC. I would like to transition as soon as possible (though at NHS speed that won't be possible anyway), but as I play rugby and I am heavily involved in both coaching and refereeing at my local club as well as being an ambassador for the RFU, transitioning could compromise this. The only thing I could think of was to 'go stealth' and begin HRT during my last year of school and rugby at my local club as after that I will be going to university, however, I understand that some changes can be painful and could cause problems in a contact sport (though I think I have an excuse to get around that) but I understand the concept of YMMV which could mess up my coaching, refereeing and ambassador work.
So that's my introduction and a bit of a 'what do' at the end.
I am Nathan (though when I transition I hope to be calls Hailey), and I am a mtf transgendered human being living in the UK. For the past year I have had intense feelings about my gender identity and have been very distressed at my male body, resulting in me feeling quite depressed and anxious about myself. During this period I have been contemplating suicide and have had a few 'near-attempts' (as in stopped just before the attempt for reasons such as a phone call from my mum). Throughout my childhood I felt very androgynous and was happy to mix with everyone as I didn't see difference between gender but bullying and peer pressure led to me being pushed into a masculine person. It was only during puberty that I wanted to transition as I began to detest certain male features such as increased body hair (that I wasn't able to shave in fear of teasing and harassment), increased penis and testes size, an increase in erections, and increased muscle mass in certain places. I saw the changes that took place to female bodies and had a great desire for that to happen to me. I also began to crossdress and felt more comfortable in typically female clothes than I had in male clothes.
Yesterday, I came out to my Mum, and after asking a few questions, she was supportive of me and she will talk to my dad about it next week. Hopefully, I can get an appointment with my GP in the next few weeks to discuss this and be referred to a GIC. I would like to transition as soon as possible (though at NHS speed that won't be possible anyway), but as I play rugby and I am heavily involved in both coaching and refereeing at my local club as well as being an ambassador for the RFU, transitioning could compromise this. The only thing I could think of was to 'go stealth' and begin HRT during my last year of school and rugby at my local club as after that I will be going to university, however, I understand that some changes can be painful and could cause problems in a contact sport (though I think I have an excuse to get around that) but I understand the concept of YMMV which could mess up my coaching, refereeing and ambassador work.
So that's my introduction and a bit of a 'what do' at the end.
Title: Re: Introduction
Post by: Jessica Merriman on October 22, 2014, 03:57:30 AM
Post by: Jessica Merriman on October 22, 2014, 03:57:30 AM
A big warm welcome Hailey! Um just from my experience on HRT rugby will be almost impossible with developing breast's. This usually happens very soon so I don't know if it will be a good idea to transition while you are playing. After a month or two we have all mostly learned to give moving objects a wide birth from the "girls". You may be tougher though so whatever you think. Seriously they do get quite sore and it can happen around two or three weeks. Anyway, yes we here in the states have heard horror stories of transitioning on the NHS. I hope your experience is a lot better. Anything you need just ask and you will usually find someone here to help you out. Again, welcome. :)
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Title: Re: Introduction
Post by: Ms Grace on October 22, 2014, 04:00:57 AM
Post by: Ms Grace on October 22, 2014, 04:00:57 AM
Welcome to Susan's, Hailey!
Title: Re: Introduction
Post by: mrs izzy on October 22, 2014, 05:52:19 AM
Post by: mrs izzy on October 22, 2014, 05:52:19 AM
Welcome Hailey to Susan's family.
Lots to read and questions to ask.
Settle in and looking forward to your input.
Lots to read and questions to ask.
Settle in and looking forward to your input.
Title: Re: Introduction
Post by: speckyhailey on October 22, 2014, 06:10:40 AM
Post by: speckyhailey on October 22, 2014, 06:10:40 AM
Thanks for the welcome girls ;) It feels good for people to call me Hailey ;D
What horror stories have you heard about the NHS? I don't think we'd have the money to go private.
How easy do you think it would be to go stealth if I was to say, start HRT 2 months before the end of school, at the end of the rugby season? In terms of physique I am about 6" and slightly overweight (though this is mainly due to muscle rather than fat) and the women on my mum's side of my family have relatively small breasts and less wide hips whereas the women on my dad's side have quite large breasts and hips. Would I likely be able to hide the changes with dark coloured shirts and sports bras etc.?
What horror stories have you heard about the NHS? I don't think we'd have the money to go private.
How easy do you think it would be to go stealth if I was to say, start HRT 2 months before the end of school, at the end of the rugby season? In terms of physique I am about 6" and slightly overweight (though this is mainly due to muscle rather than fat) and the women on my mum's side of my family have relatively small breasts and less wide hips whereas the women on my dad's side have quite large breasts and hips. Would I likely be able to hide the changes with dark coloured shirts and sports bras etc.?
Title: Re: Introduction
Post by: Devlyn on October 22, 2014, 07:39:23 AM
Post by: Devlyn on October 22, 2014, 07:39:23 AM
Hi Hailey, welcome to Susan's Place! I'm near Boston, and we're having a wet, windy day here. There's a lot of nice people here, get busy posting and making friends. See you around the site!
Hugs, Devlyn
Hugs, Devlyn
Title: Re: Introduction
Post by: gennee on October 22, 2014, 10:34:07 AM
Post by: gennee on October 22, 2014, 10:34:07 AM
Hello Hailey and welcome to Susan's.
:)
:)
Title: Re: Introduction
Post by: Ms. OBrien CVT on October 22, 2014, 12:04:25 PM
Post by: Ms. OBrien CVT on October 22, 2014, 12:04:25 PM
Hi Hailey, (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsmileys.on-my-web.com%2Frepository%2FAnimals%2Fmini-panda-21.gif&hash=aa747892f6a13c54e75506a3acf0e22ade9c95e9)
Welcome to our little family. Over 14500 members. That would be one heck of a family reunion.
Feel free to post your successes/failures, Hopes/dreams. Ask questions and seek answers. Give and receive advice.
But remember we are family here, your family now. And it is always nice to have another sister. (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsmileys.on-my-web.com%2Frepository%2FAnimals%2Fferret-3.gif&hash=f49e2f86761323f2abd9c33941920389dbb3b10f)
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsmileys.on-my-web.com%2Frepository%2FAnimals%2Fferret-5.gif&hash=cfc7a68438be4575d8493dfbe65d1b3586f10b81)
Janet )O(
Welcome to our little family. Over 14500 members. That would be one heck of a family reunion.
Feel free to post your successes/failures, Hopes/dreams. Ask questions and seek answers. Give and receive advice.
But remember we are family here, your family now. And it is always nice to have another sister. (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsmileys.on-my-web.com%2Frepository%2FAnimals%2Fferret-3.gif&hash=f49e2f86761323f2abd9c33941920389dbb3b10f)
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsmileys.on-my-web.com%2Frepository%2FAnimals%2Fferret-5.gif&hash=cfc7a68438be4575d8493dfbe65d1b3586f10b81)
Janet )O(
Title: Re: Introduction
Post by: speckyhailey on October 22, 2014, 05:02:47 PM
Post by: speckyhailey on October 22, 2014, 05:02:47 PM
I feel so happy at the moment. The girls here are so nice and I feel so much more comfortable finally being referred to as my true self, even if it isn't in person. I'm getting really excited for a transition though it could be a year and a half before anything happens.
Thanks for welcoming me girls.
Hugs,
Hailey :-*
Thanks for welcoming me girls.
Hugs,
Hailey :-*
Title: Re: Introduction
Post by: Llano on October 22, 2014, 07:29:12 PM
Post by: Llano on October 22, 2014, 07:29:12 PM
Hi Hailey,
I'm from the UK as well. I'm complete pre-HRT and haven't heard horror stories about the NHS, just the usual long waiting lists. 12 month waiting list from seeing your GP to actually going to a GIC if you're based near London. Even then they won't suggest HRT until the second appt which should be 3 months after that!
Claire x
I'm from the UK as well. I'm complete pre-HRT and haven't heard horror stories about the NHS, just the usual long waiting lists. 12 month waiting list from seeing your GP to actually going to a GIC if you're based near London. Even then they won't suggest HRT until the second appt which should be 3 months after that!
Claire x
Title: Re: Introduction
Post by: speckyhailey on October 22, 2014, 07:51:48 PM
Post by: speckyhailey on October 22, 2014, 07:51:48 PM
Quote from: Llano on October 22, 2014, 07:29:12 PM
Hi Hailey,
I'm from the UK as well. I'm complete pre-HRT and haven't heard horror stories about the NHS, just the usual long waiting lists. 12 month waiting list from seeing your GP to actually going to a GIC if you're based near London. Even then they won't suggest HRT until the second appt which should be 3 months after that!
Claire x
Thanks for that Claire. I'm under 18 and live in the Midlands so I'm not sure how long I will have to wait to go to a GIC. I won't really want to start HRT until about a years tine anyway, though it would still be nice to actually see someone about the issue.
Hugs,
Hailey x