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I'm not suicidal or anything, and I guess this post is like a rant/sympathy thing.

But does anyone ever feel like wanting to curl up and never waking up again? That's how I feel right now.

There's several reasons for this. For one, my life seems like it's covered with bad luck. It all started with my topsurgery. I got a bad infection on both sides (rarely seen, the doctors said. Double bad luck right there) which had me hospitalized for days while they had to open the wounds and get it all out. I will lose my nipples due to this.

I also couldn't go back to work as soon as I had hoped due to this. Today, my work called and basically told me I was fired. They had hired other people to cover the hours and they were happy as it was now, and I was redundant. So no job for me. Ironically, I had signed a contract for a small house so I could finally leave my mom's place. I signed the damn thing yesterday. It was a nice place and very affordable...with a job. So now I have to cancel that house, which will cost me about 400 euros because I paid for a month's rent (which I can't get back) and administrative fees and the likes.

Ontop of all that I lost my cat of 14 years, whom I grew up with and who grew up with me, last week.

So...can I curl up into a ball and wake up in maybe a few years? I'm a little done with life right now.

Big hug! I'm sorry things are piling up on you. Here's a link to  Rainbow Bridge  (https://rainbowsbridge.com/poem.htm) I hope it helps a bit.

Hugs, Devlyn

That sucks. Sorry.

I think most, if not all of us have been at the point of  "want to crawl under a rock and not come out for awhile." I sure have.

What can you do to take your mind off things? Not saying wallow in it or go full-on escapism mode, but when one blow after another hits like this you need to recharge your batteries.

I recommend a few days where you do what absolutely must get done, and after that do whatever the f--- you want to chill. Too many days of that and you might get in a bigger slump/funk so after that, set some small goals and start working on them, but keep doing something to chill and take your mind off the bad crap too.

sorry this has happened

Hang in there and take care of yourself as much as possible.

I'm really sorry this is happening  :( It's such a shame about the top surgery infections and your nipples failing. I've seen some great results where they can create a fake nipple and then tattoo the areola on. You can get a nice shape and the right colour and it looks super real. Maybe you could think about getting something like that done? Good luck with finding a new job, I really hope it doesnt take long! And I'm really sorry for your loss :( I'm sure things can only stat getting better from here :)

Wow, my heart breaks for you and I am so sorry, man.  I know this is easier said than done, but try to find the positives where you can.  As far as yur top surgery is concerned, it may not have ended the way you wanted to, but it is better than carrying around breasts, right?  You don't have to worry about binding or trying to to cover your breasts, right?  Maybe you can keep the nipples and play a joke on your friends?  I second Harlee about medical tattooing.  I have seen some realistic results so maybe you can look into that procedure?

Sometimes, things happen for a reason.  Maybe because if this, in time you may find a job that pays more/you like more.  Perhaps you will meet people whom you will grow close with on this journey called life......because of this incident.

I'm sorry about your cat.  My cat died a couple of years back and I grew up with her so I know that pain.  At least she's resting now and you don't have to shell out any money (if you were) to take care of your pet, which could probably help get you back on track to get the small house faster.


Hang in there, champ.  -hugs-

 :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug:

Wow, that really sucks. Hang in there!

Sorry things have been so rough on you lately.  :( I'm sure I'd feel the same way if I were in your shoes.

But, you've made it this far, right? It'd be a waste to just "quit" now.

Focus on healing right now (physically and mentally), and when you feel you're ready, start job hunting. It'll take longer than you'd hoped, yeah, but you'll be out of your Mom's place eventually. You just gotta keep on truckin'.  ;)

Thanks guys, I'm feeling a little better today.
It's just a lot of crap at once kicking me down when I'm already down. But if it doesn't kill us, it makes us stronger, right?
Thanks again for all the kind messages :)

the twistrose key is a good book for every child who has ever loved an animal.

my boss always says that everything happens for a reason, and he repeats it even more often when nothing's going the right way.
i'm fairly sure all my previous troubles have been just so i could end up working with him for a few years.
i actually get to make a difference in this job, even if it's happening way too slowly.

listen to the saddest music you can find, curl up, and cry. like a baby.
it helps when you get down, and being honest about your own feelings can even keep anxiety and depression away.

we all get sad once in a while. feeling down is a whole lot different from depression.
depression seems to me more of a state where i'm denying myself.
i've felt like quitting so many times. not just curling up for a while and letting time pass by.
i've seriously felt like fading to nothingness or disappearing to somewhere i can't be found.

but it all got better after i learned to be more honest with myself.
i allow myself to feel all the scary feelings for a while, just let them exist, and experience how they don't wipe me out.
then i pull myself together again, and am so much stronger for having allowed myself to be rather than pretend i can keep going strong all the time.

Hey X, I know how it feels - hang on in there! I'm glad you're feeling a bit better!