Community Conversation => Transitioning => Therapy => Topic started by: Jessika on October 28, 2014, 06:34:19 PM Return to Full Version
Title: My 2nd Therapy Visit 10/28/14
Post by: Jessika on October 28, 2014, 06:34:19 PM
Post by: Jessika on October 28, 2014, 06:34:19 PM
Hi all,
Had my 2nd visit earlier this afternoon. It's official and my Therapist confirmed what I knew.
What a relief in that sense.
She seemed to not be familiar with the word "Dysphoria", but GID and TS she was. I was ok with that.
She is going to schedule me with a Psychiatrist to make sure I am not crazy and sound of mind about all of these decisions and I agree with her.
She is also trying to find me an Endocrinologist.
What kinda surprised me is that she asked me to show up as Jessika at my next appointment which is next week and I said no problem at all. :)
My wife is not taking this too well and she feels really distant and upset. She does not understand this too well and my Therapist wants me to bring her to my next session with me. All I can do is ask my wife to go but I can't force her. She feels pressured so I do tend to just back off in helping her learn more. It's a lot to take in and her pain is my pain. :'(
Just taking this day by day, nothing more I can do.
Jess
Had my 2nd visit earlier this afternoon. It's official and my Therapist confirmed what I knew.
What a relief in that sense.
She seemed to not be familiar with the word "Dysphoria", but GID and TS she was. I was ok with that.
She is going to schedule me with a Psychiatrist to make sure I am not crazy and sound of mind about all of these decisions and I agree with her.
She is also trying to find me an Endocrinologist.
What kinda surprised me is that she asked me to show up as Jessika at my next appointment which is next week and I said no problem at all. :)
My wife is not taking this too well and she feels really distant and upset. She does not understand this too well and my Therapist wants me to bring her to my next session with me. All I can do is ask my wife to go but I can't force her. She feels pressured so I do tend to just back off in helping her learn more. It's a lot to take in and her pain is my pain. :'(
Just taking this day by day, nothing more I can do.
Jess
Title: Re: My 2nd Therapy Visit 10/28/14
Post by: Jill F on October 28, 2014, 07:58:11 PM
Post by: Jill F on October 28, 2014, 07:58:11 PM
I really hope your wife goes with you to therapy. I believe my wife went on my third session, and hearing it from someone other than me that could immediately address her concerns was a very positive thing. It is definitely a hard thing to process, but in the end, my wife realized that she fell in love with a person, not a gender.
There is no downside to her going with you, and in all likelihood, you will both be happier for going together. She soon realized that being married to a happy girl was much better than being married to a miserable, dying guy.
Hugs,
Jill
There is no downside to her going with you, and in all likelihood, you will both be happier for going together. She soon realized that being married to a happy girl was much better than being married to a miserable, dying guy.
Hugs,
Jill
Title: Re: My 2nd Therapy Visit 10/28/14
Post by: May on October 29, 2014, 09:00:34 AM
Post by: May on October 29, 2014, 09:00:34 AM
Jessika,
It sounds like you and I are in the same boat. I have been in therapy since august and have been trying to work things out with my wife. We also have had other issues in our marriage but my GID has made things worse. It took me almost 3 months to convince her to come to therapy with me and she will be doing so next Tuesday. We will be visiting my therapist together (who does not specialize in gender issues) in a mediated type setting. I'm hoping that after this visit she will agree to couples therapy which would be with another therapist or counselor. One thing my therapist suggested is to use "I" when you address the therapy vs "we". By doing this it tells her that she is coming for you and not necessarily that she has a problem which could make her defensive. I'm not sure if this approach is what made the difference for us or if my wife realized this isn't going away. I admire you for attending your next session as yourself as this is still a hurdle I'm trying to build courage for.
Best wishes!
Love May
It sounds like you and I are in the same boat. I have been in therapy since august and have been trying to work things out with my wife. We also have had other issues in our marriage but my GID has made things worse. It took me almost 3 months to convince her to come to therapy with me and she will be doing so next Tuesday. We will be visiting my therapist together (who does not specialize in gender issues) in a mediated type setting. I'm hoping that after this visit she will agree to couples therapy which would be with another therapist or counselor. One thing my therapist suggested is to use "I" when you address the therapy vs "we". By doing this it tells her that she is coming for you and not necessarily that she has a problem which could make her defensive. I'm not sure if this approach is what made the difference for us or if my wife realized this isn't going away. I admire you for attending your next session as yourself as this is still a hurdle I'm trying to build courage for.
Best wishes!
Love May
Title: Re: My 2nd Therapy Visit 10/28/14
Post by: Jessika on October 29, 2014, 09:27:13 AM
Post by: Jessika on October 29, 2014, 09:27:13 AM
Quote from: May on October 29, 2014, 09:00:34 AMThank you for the kind words. I was not planning on going in Girl mode unless I could see changes once hormones were in effect. But my therapist actually asked me to come in as Jessika next session and I agreed.
Jessika,
It sounds like you and I are in the same boat. I have been in therapy since august and have been trying to work things out with my wife. We also have had other issues in our marriage but my GID has made things worse. It took me almost 3 months to convince her to come to therapy with me and she will be doing so next Tuesday. We will be visiting my therapist together (who does not specialize in gender issues) in a mediated type setting. I'm hoping that after this visit she will agree to couples therapy which would be with another therapist or counselor. One thing my therapist suggested is to use "I" when you address the therapy vs "we". By doing this it tells he that she is coming for you and not necessarily that she has a problem which could make her defensive. I'm not sure if this approach is what made the difference for us or if my wife realized this isn't going away. I admire you for attending your next session as yourself as this is still a hurdle I'm trying to build courage for.
Best wishes!
Love May
Not sure if it has anything to do with the pic I sent her about a week ago, but she told me that her Director of Operations thought I was a Cis Woman before she told him the real facts. Before he knew he told her I looked Hot.
I smiled and laughed slightly but at the same time was thinking "I'm far from Hot." Passing is more important than looking Hot.
Below is the pic I sent. Oh and the breast forms I used fit my proportions very well according to my Therapist. At least I know what size range I look forward to having when the time comes.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimageshack.com%2Fa%2Fimg674%2F5020%2FJlD3an.jpg&hash=067f1c8183cc9c86e794796fdc072b36ccc6a1f7)
I have no idea what I want to wear to my next session now! My wardrobe is very small. What's a girl to do? :o
Title: Re: My 2nd Therapy Visit 10/28/14
Post by: Jessika on October 29, 2014, 06:28:11 PM
Post by: Jessika on October 29, 2014, 06:28:11 PM
Just got back from shopping with my Wife.
We had a good time, nothing major. Went to Walmart (Male mode) and bought some Ladies underwear for her and myself. She got a few Bras since I have nothing to put into them yet. :D
Bought a few other items. We got along great, did not discuss anything about GD ect.
Got home and ate dinner and here typing this now as I wait for the laundry. (We always wash new clothes) :)
I need to get my right ear re-pierced for the 3rd time. I kept letting it close. :(
We had a good time, nothing major. Went to Walmart (Male mode) and bought some Ladies underwear for her and myself. She got a few Bras since I have nothing to put into them yet. :D
Bought a few other items. We got along great, did not discuss anything about GD ect.
Got home and ate dinner and here typing this now as I wait for the laundry. (We always wash new clothes) :)
I need to get my right ear re-pierced for the 3rd time. I kept letting it close. :(
Title: Re: My 2nd Therapy Visit 10/28/14
Post by: Karen345 on October 30, 2014, 01:50:41 AM
Post by: Karen345 on October 30, 2014, 01:50:41 AM
Hope things work out for you! It sounds to me like you and your wife will get through this fine. :)
Title: Re: My 2nd Therapy Visit 10/28/14
Post by: Jessika on October 30, 2014, 07:34:54 AM
Post by: Jessika on October 30, 2014, 07:34:54 AM
As long as I don't force issues onto her, she is ok. Only time will tell.
Last night as we went to bed the subject of HRT came up. I told her I may be on Hormones soon. She said "You're not going to take Hormones." ???
Last night as we went to bed the subject of HRT came up. I told her I may be on Hormones soon. She said "You're not going to take Hormones." ???
Title: Re: My 2nd Therapy Visit 10/28/14
Post by: Mariah on October 30, 2014, 08:47:01 AM
Post by: Mariah on October 30, 2014, 08:47:01 AM
Just like with anything else her being able to the handle just the idea of you being hormones in the future will take time.
Mariah
Mariah
Quote from: Jessika on October 30, 2014, 07:34:54 AM
As long as I don't force issues onto her, she is ok. Only time will tell.
Last night as we went to bed the subject of HRT came up. I told her I may be on Hormones soon. She said "You're not going to take Hormones." ???