Community Conversation => Transitioning => Coming out of the closet => Topic started by: Gothic Dandy on October 28, 2014, 08:59:58 PM Return to Full Version
Title: How to come out to friends (between these options)?
Post by: Gothic Dandy on October 28, 2014, 08:59:58 PM
Post by: Gothic Dandy on October 28, 2014, 08:59:58 PM
I want to come out to a few friends of mine who are pretty open-minded and I think will probably be supportive of me, even if they don't understand why ~I~ would go this route. I'm the feminine one of the group, which is bizarre. Anyway, I REALLY need the real-life support and am looking forward to this.
Originally, I was going to get them all together and go to this restaurant we all either like or want to try. I was going to tell them when they all arrived at my home, before going to dinner. But I don't know how soon I can plan that, so now I'm thinking maybe I should just come out via private messages (like Facebook or texts). Partly because I want to get it off my chest that badly, and partly because I'm afraid I'll chicken out when I try to tell them in person.
What do you think I should do? I know people usually say "Don't come out in a text message" but my friends are pretty cool about most things and that's our primary mode of communication. Or like...I could just tell the one person I'm closest to in the group, and tell her why I'm really getting everyone together? Then when the time comes to announce it in person, at least she'll already know?
Originally, I was going to get them all together and go to this restaurant we all either like or want to try. I was going to tell them when they all arrived at my home, before going to dinner. But I don't know how soon I can plan that, so now I'm thinking maybe I should just come out via private messages (like Facebook or texts). Partly because I want to get it off my chest that badly, and partly because I'm afraid I'll chicken out when I try to tell them in person.
What do you think I should do? I know people usually say "Don't come out in a text message" but my friends are pretty cool about most things and that's our primary mode of communication. Or like...I could just tell the one person I'm closest to in the group, and tell her why I'm really getting everyone together? Then when the time comes to announce it in person, at least she'll already know?
Title: Re: How to come out to friends (between these options)?
Post by: Ash on October 28, 2014, 10:39:53 PM
Post by: Ash on October 28, 2014, 10:39:53 PM
Personally I would take the one at a time method.
And the more important friends I would go with a face to face method.
And then maybe have a text conversation or whatever with other friends and maybe bring up the topic?
I told my closest friends in person anyway.
And I'm like you, my main way of communication is through text or fb messages. And I came out to a few friends that way too without issue.
Either way works fine. But personally I would avoid telling the group as one. Little steps first.
Plus you can take it all at your own pace instead of launching into it.
And the more important friends I would go with a face to face method.
And then maybe have a text conversation or whatever with other friends and maybe bring up the topic?
I told my closest friends in person anyway.
And I'm like you, my main way of communication is through text or fb messages. And I came out to a few friends that way too without issue.
Either way works fine. But personally I would avoid telling the group as one. Little steps first.
Plus you can take it all at your own pace instead of launching into it.
Title: Re: How to come out to friends (between these options)?
Post by: captains on October 28, 2014, 11:01:06 PM
Post by: captains on October 28, 2014, 11:01:06 PM
I have exclusively come out to friends while very drunk, and predominantly via IM, so. As far as I'm concerned, sober text message sounds awfully professional.
Title: Re: How to come out to friends (between these options)?
Post by: Jaded Jade on October 28, 2014, 11:07:52 PM
Post by: Jaded Jade on October 28, 2014, 11:07:52 PM
I am in the process of slowly coming out to my closest friends first, in person. Each one makes the next easier, and building a strong support network is critical. Building my network of allies.
At work I have been making friends and contacts with the LGBT support group, and am slowly looking towards HR and ethics people to talk to. Again, more allies the better.
I have a family to take care of and a strong inoculated network is what I need and want.
But then my parents and in-laws are super conservative and priests too... so FML on that... lol
- Jaded Jade