Susan's Place Transgender Resources

So I work at a store as a cashier and go by Chris. I have learned how to control my voice just enough so I don't get misgendered as often and people don't refer to me as a female. Easy enough right?

Well today during the Halloween thingy this boy comes up and I said, "well looks like we have a handsome knight" The boy laughs and I play with him calling him Sir Samuel (I think its how its spelled) when the bs happens...

Momma comes up and the boys screams out, "He's funny mommy!" I accidentally laughed and had I not, what happens next probably wouldn't have happened:

Mom says I have a feminine laugh for a young man. I say so I've been told. She adds that I also have feminine eyes and eyebrows. I smile and say, "Again, ma'am, so I've been told. A lot" The she asks if I'm actually a girl. I was getting nervous but felt, ah what the hell? Well I said yes and she FLIPS OUT! She gets her son away and said, "I knew you were a ->-bleeped-<-got." and has the nerve to point her finger at me all accusingly. Then she starts going off about how, "you people are ruining america" I was shocked, getting pissed now, and simply said, "ma'am, I admit I am a transgender. Not a ->-bleeped-<-got." She gets sooooo defensive and says, "still a ->-bleeped-<-." I said, losing my cool, "->-bleeped-<- isn't a sexuality, it's a derogatory term for homosexuals. Something I am not. I am a transgender. Theres a dfference." She demands to know what and i was so mad at her attitude and voice I stupidly smart-assed her and said, "Well I am a male and the male in me is the only thing keeping me from reaching across the register and slapping the white off of your smug ass face. So be glad I am a trans otherwise you'd be wiped out madam." She threatened to tell my manager but thankfully two other employees heard the whole confrontation and came up and said they'll say she initiated it for no reason and (extremely nice) customers backed me. So she argued and left just as the manager walked over to check on us.

Basically this female went off at me for.... reasons! I swear I wasn't lying, the male in me is the only thing that kept me from hitting her. I wanted to punch her so bad but I was raised that a man never hits a female so I couldn't. Some people are so rude but I know better. I usually keep my calm, especially with the racists, but something about her or what she said got me off completely and I lost myself for a scary minute. I hope she doesn't tell though but so far, nothing!

Anyway that's my rant. Just had to get it off my chest.

What a supreme jerk. I suppose she would have had the same reaction if you'd said "No, I'm a guy." (All femme guys are gay, of course.) With people like her, you really can't win.

I'm glad you didn't smack her, though. You might have lost your job for that, even with the provocation.

Some people are really awful. I hope you don't get in trouble and I'm glad people stuck up for you.

I have to say that you don't look very feminine or female in your avatar. But the voice can be such a pain.

Wow...

But when someone starts the BS, and then refuses 3+ attempts to descalate and defuse a situation, the problem really is them, not you.   o_O

I'm glad you had people have your back on it though!  :)


- Jaded Jade

Sorry you had to go through that.

Just remember you can not fix stupid.

Hugs

Well thanks guys but my manager found out ANYWAY. Instead he told me he told the lady, who ended up calling anyway, that, according to him now, "my employees at cub are not supposed to tolerate extreme insults. If you had an issue with my employee, you shouldn't have insulted him in the first place." then he told me he thought I was a pretty nice employee until you piss me off   ;D. Made me smile and tell him thanks. He did say, "just don't do that again bc I could and actually SHOULD have fired you. You did threaten a customer" I said, "I can guarantee I won't hit a customer until I get hit. Then I will be losing my job bc I don't take that." He just laughed and said, way to bring chicago here, huh? We joked a bit back and forth but overall he was actually pretty chill about it and I gained a huge level of respect for him and the store as a whole bc that meant something to me.

But I haven't had any other issues so far other than snotty people and a few racist comments but I'm still working. Gets me a steady paycheck every week and I like the people there. Besides, its close by for the most part!

thanks Arch though. I get that a lot until I open my mouth and talk! I am getting really good at voice control and even let out a chuckle here and there and I'm mimicking what I see at school (with how guys act and sound) so I'm getting a lot better at passing and have actually have customers correct themselves or others! I feel so good when that happens! But dang it when I laugh it screws me over. Luckily, I'm starting to unconsciously talk the "manly" way I guess and chuckle. Even a bit of a laugh but rarely.

Funny off-topic story, but store security got called on my at Menards. I never went in until yesterday after work and an older woman saw me walk in and called security. I had to go get my ID and show them I'm a female before I got an apologize, $10 McDonalds gift card, and a weird uhhhhh from the lady. I have to admit, it was funny afterwards but for now I'll take it as a weird (and extremely awkward) passing moment.

I used to work in retail and I would have asked a manager to come over as soon as she started hassling me. We were actually taught to ask a manager to intervene for much smaller issues than this. The way she acted was terrible but engaging her further was probably the worst thing you could do in a situation like that aside from actually reaching across the counter and slapping her.

What a bitch!I used to be a bus driver and when I got crap from the public I'd give it back.If I got reported I had a stock reply "I was provoked,my retaliation was appropriate and in proportion".The chief inspectors used to have it already written on a complaint form

sorry this happened. I use to work in retail and know the pathology of some customers, but bravo to your manager.

I;m glad your manager was decent about it