Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Male to female transsexual talk (MTF) => Topic started by: Ms Grace on October 29, 2014, 12:27:14 PM Return to Full Version
Title: My "commitment to being a woman"...?!?!
Post by: Ms Grace on October 29, 2014, 12:27:14 PM
Post by: Ms Grace on October 29, 2014, 12:27:14 PM
People have some weird ideas about what being trans is/means/entails. Usually it comes out when they are a bit drunk and feeling somewhat more candid. After a torrid day at work in which four people were laid off (doesn't sound like much but we are a small organisation of 19 now 15) I was commiserating with two other colleagues, one of whom - M - had been one of the unfortunates after twenty plus years with us and now has no job. He's a good friend, I've known M for over 15 years, he's been very supportive of my transition (and LGBT in general) but it's also pretty clear he has his own "picture" about what being trans means.
To give some context, M is a massive womaniser...not in a sleazy way, but if he could have sex with every woman he fancied he would definitely take the opportunity to do so (and he would probably die of exhaustion since he fancies many, many women!!) I guess in that regard he is not too different from the majority of cishet men!
Tucking into his fourth beer M turns to me and says he admired my "commitment to bring a woman" taking pills that changed my body and reduced my libido so that I has no sexual desire, to him that was anathema.
To be honest I was a bit bemused by the comment. "My commitment to being a woman"? I gently, respectfully but rather passionately tried to set him right. To me it isn't a commitment at all, it is a deep, fundamental need. I may have lost my sex drive but it was a sex drive I had loathed anyway, I still have desire but am much happier this way. If there had ever been any commitment it had been the one where I was forcing myself to live as a male for most of my life because I'd forced myself to believe it was the "easier" option. Whether he got it or even remembers any of it post drinking session who can say but it did feel good to be open about my decision to proceed with transition.
To give some context, M is a massive womaniser...not in a sleazy way, but if he could have sex with every woman he fancied he would definitely take the opportunity to do so (and he would probably die of exhaustion since he fancies many, many women!!) I guess in that regard he is not too different from the majority of cishet men!
Tucking into his fourth beer M turns to me and says he admired my "commitment to bring a woman" taking pills that changed my body and reduced my libido so that I has no sexual desire, to him that was anathema.
To be honest I was a bit bemused by the comment. "My commitment to being a woman"? I gently, respectfully but rather passionately tried to set him right. To me it isn't a commitment at all, it is a deep, fundamental need. I may have lost my sex drive but it was a sex drive I had loathed anyway, I still have desire but am much happier this way. If there had ever been any commitment it had been the one where I was forcing myself to live as a male for most of my life because I'd forced myself to believe it was the "easier" option. Whether he got it or even remembers any of it post drinking session who can say but it did feel good to be open about my decision to proceed with transition.
Title: Re: My "commitment to being a woman"...?!?!
Post by: ErinWDK on October 29, 2014, 02:46:04 PM
Post by: ErinWDK on October 29, 2014, 02:46:04 PM
You have somewhat mixed feelings about someone commenting on your "Commitment to being a woman?" HMMM... Could that be because you ARE a woman? (And a right attractive one at that.)
Some people have no idea what to say at times, and being good and drunk sure does not help that.
Keep up the good work!
Erin
Some people have no idea what to say at times, and being good and drunk sure does not help that.
Keep up the good work!
Erin
Title: Re: My "commitment to being a woman"...?!?!
Post by: speckyhailey on October 29, 2014, 03:04:29 PM
Post by: speckyhailey on October 29, 2014, 03:04:29 PM
Commitment sort of gives the idea that you're pretending or doing something because you want to rather than it being a need to because that's who you are. I'm not sure that he understands how a trans person feels.
Also, glad it's not just me who hates male sex drive.
Also, glad it's not just me who hates male sex drive.
Title: Re: My "commitment to being a woman"...?!?!
Post by: Rachel on October 29, 2014, 04:28:22 PM
Post by: Rachel on October 29, 2014, 04:28:22 PM
Grace, great response. I wish he said "commitment to being yourself".
Title: Re: My "commitment to being a woman"...?!?!
Post by: Handy on October 29, 2014, 05:48:59 PM
Post by: Handy on October 29, 2014, 05:48:59 PM
Quote from: Cynthia Michelle on October 29, 2014, 04:28:22 PM
Grace, great response. I wish he said "commitment to being yourself".
I'll second this; Kudos to being so collected when hit with a comment like that.
Title: Re: My "commitment to being a woman"...?!?!
Post by: Dee Marshall on October 29, 2014, 10:11:05 PM
Post by: Dee Marshall on October 29, 2014, 10:11:05 PM
Quote from: speckyhailey on October 29, 2014, 03:04:29 PM
Also, glad it's not just me who hates male sex drive.
I didn't hate it when I had it, but I'm happier with what I have now. I just didn't know any better.