Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Female to male transsexual talk (FTM) => Topic started by: AdamMLP on October 30, 2014, 07:46:51 PM Return to Full Version
Title: Not sure whether to just ignore yesterday
Post by: AdamMLP on October 30, 2014, 07:46:51 PM
Post by: AdamMLP on October 30, 2014, 07:46:51 PM
I was stood down from work today by my manager after a complete meltdown following being misgendered by an instructor who probably didn't know any better. He's an external contractor and wasn't around when I came out, so was never told either way over my gender. He happened to be around when an argument broke out between my friend and an instructor over changing my name on a spreadsheet, where the past name was used and possibly female pronouns. Hopefully he was just confused and there was no malice behind what he said, but it didn't stop it having a devastating effect on me.
I'm not sure if it's right to have a quiet word to apologise for not going directly to the instructors and just vanishing to the manager, and asking if I missed anything vital (I know I didn't), or whether I should just pretend nothing happened.
I'm not going to apologise for the effect it had on me, because it's not my fault, but I don't want any awkwardness, and there probably will be. The manager had a word with both of them on my behalf, and explained that she'd stood me down, and that only male pronouns and Alex should be used to refer to me.
I'm not sure if it's right to have a quiet word to apologise for not going directly to the instructors and just vanishing to the manager, and asking if I missed anything vital (I know I didn't), or whether I should just pretend nothing happened.
I'm not going to apologise for the effect it had on me, because it's not my fault, but I don't want any awkwardness, and there probably will be. The manager had a word with both of them on my behalf, and explained that she'd stood me down, and that only male pronouns and Alex should be used to refer to me.
Title: Re: Not sure whether to just ignore yesterday
Post by: Devlyn on October 30, 2014, 07:53:57 PM
Post by: Devlyn on October 30, 2014, 07:53:57 PM
Me, I'd go to work and put it behind me. You're going to have to do this hundreds of times in your life. It has nothing to do with being transgender, you just can't dwell on the past. If the manager brings it up, a quick apology is probably in order. I'm sorry you had a bad day.
Hugs, Devlyn
Hugs, Devlyn
Title: Re: Not sure whether to just ignore yesterday
Post by: AdamMLP on October 30, 2014, 08:02:18 PM
Post by: AdamMLP on October 30, 2014, 08:02:18 PM
I'm not concerned of the manager bringing it up, but of the instructors. I'm completely planning to thank her in person again for dealing with things yesterday when I appeared in her office a complete wreck and for understanding that for me it's not just a word.
I'm certainly hoping that I'll not end up breaking down mentally hundreds of times in the future at work! I'd be out of a job in a flash if I did that and I was deemed mentally unsafe to carry out my work.
I'm certainly hoping that I'll not end up breaking down mentally hundreds of times in the future at work! I'd be out of a job in a flash if I did that and I was deemed mentally unsafe to carry out my work.
Title: Re: Not sure whether to just ignore yesterday
Post by: Devlyn on October 30, 2014, 08:04:55 PM
Post by: Devlyn on October 30, 2014, 08:04:55 PM
LOL, I meant forgetting the bad days, not the meltdown part. That only happens dozens of times. :D
Title: Re: Not sure whether to just ignore yesterday
Post by: AdamMLP on October 30, 2014, 08:08:32 PM
Post by: AdamMLP on October 30, 2014, 08:08:32 PM
That makes more sense, and for a much less bleak future!
I'm just trying to think what I'd do if I had been physically rather than mentally struggling.
I'm just trying to think what I'd do if I had been physically rather than mentally struggling.