Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I used the men's bathroom for the first time the other day, as I was in a shopping centre late, with very few people around, so I thought I'd try it. (It was a gross bathroom, but that's besides the point.)
I was wondering if anyone had any tips on bathroom usage, for a pre-everything, teenage trans guy.

March in like you own the place, get in a stall, do your thing, wash your hands and leave. Don't fuss over yourself in the mirror. Don't eyeball anybody, don't make conversation.

If the toilet has urine all over you have five options.

1. If you have some method at hand of standing to pee, obviously, there's that.
2. If no STP method available, grab a preposterous amount of TP and wipe the seat clean.
3. Check a different stall. Disadvantages: may attract attention doing this, and chances are the others aren't better anyway.
4. Highly unrecommended and unsanitary, but I suppose it's possible for one to just go ahead and sit in some other dude's urine.
5. Leave without using a toilet. May not be feasible depending on how bad you need to go and how long it'll be before there's another option. Holding it for too long can contribute to urinary tract health problems (infections and worse), so try to avoid doing that more than necessary.

If all the stalls are taken, personally I prefer to leave and come back later rather than hang around, seems kinda weird to just hang out in the bathroom.
And finally, if you have a method of STP and are comfortable using urinals, bear in mind the rules of urinal usage. Google "urinal etiquette" or "men's bathroom etiquette" and you'll get plenty of pages on the subject, some more serious than others.

I 100% agree with Blink here. Just walk in, survey the area real quick and do your business. Men like to get in and get out most of the time so I'd recommend doing the same thing.

 jayyylmao, all good advice.  I have been using the men's for over a year and have seen some nice and some pretty bad ones in that time.  I have not found a STP that works for me all the time so I only use a stall.  I have to lower my pants over my hips a bit to get the STP to work right and if I need to do that I am using a stall.  I have never seen guy loosing their belt and pushing there pants down at the urinals, thou I only walk pass and don't stop to see how they are standing. At stadiums I have had to stand in a que for a stall, but everyone is doing there thing and the time has been short.  Best advice walk in with confidence, do your business, wash and leave, none or very little talking.

As a former user of the dude's this is all good advice. Certainly never try to start a conversation about anything.

Quote from: mm on October 31, 2014, 01:12:06 PM
I have never seen guy loosing their belt and pushing there pants down at the urinals...

I've heard of it happening but it may have been cultural, the guy was Samoan or other islander. I still remember, as a nine year old taking my four year old brother to use a urinal for the very first time (for some reason my folks and us were at my primary school on a Saturday, so no other kids about). He dropped his pants when he stood at the urinal and I was instantly appalled and told him no, no, you don't ever do that. I'd already learned that the penis comes out through the fly/zip which of course requires some inner manipulation of undergarments at the same time. If wearing shorts and there is no fly/zip then the penis is allowed to be poked up and over the top of the shorts, the shorts are never lowered except maybe the barest minimum required at the front to get the tiddler out.

Go in, do your stuff, go out.

If someone talks to you, respond but don't turn it into a conversation.  People say "You never talk in a toilet to a guy," but there are situations where it's acceptable, work toilets and you're both leaving for the day, conversation began before, it's a joint shower and toilets and you want to know whether there's any showers that actually have hot water.  Just don't try and make conversation or talk to someone taking a dump or handling their bits, or make full blown conversations.  A short "see you next week" is fine, but not "So, what are your plans for the weekend?" probably isn't.

Male toilets are efficient places to expel body waste, and nothing more.  It makes perfect sense to me.

Use the stalls.  Don't touch anything that isn't absolutely necessary to touch.  Wash your hands.  Don't make eye contact.  Don't freak out.  It's just a piss.

Quote from: blink on October 31, 2014, 11:57:46 AMIf the toilet has urine all over you have five options.

Aye mens loos in pubs & bars are generally filthy. But there's a 6th option of course! Just hover. Hovering/squatting's cleaner, works your thighs a bit, and I prefer the sound of pissing from a height too. ;)
I never sit on seats to pee anymore, even at home usually!

Queues for stalls:
All blokes have to wait for a stall if they need it, it's not abnormal. Just busy yourself with your phone or something, nobody cares. :>

Everyone else got it pretty much, but...

When I spelled it out for my mother that I would be using the men's bathroom, she tearfully asks..."But how do you use the men's bathrooms!? ;~;" "Uh. Mom. Men have to take a ->-bleeped-<- too." "...oh." So don't be worried about waiting for a stall. :D

Frank, your mom just wasn't thinking it through how you could use the men's.  Do you have a STP that you are comfortable using in the men's; I have one but still not confident enough to use it in public yet.

Everyone else has it covered. The only things I will reiterate is confidence is good. And even if a guy looks at you, so what? So far, except for one guy being a slight jackass I've had no problem. And the jackass? All he did is stand in my way for a moment when I was trying to leave and point to the men's sign. It sucked but it was a small thing. And people at work keep talking to me in the men's room so it must be acceptable there.

I do pull my pants down slightly when I stand to pee, but not my underwear. Never had anyone weird out about it.

And all you guys talking about pee on the toilet, you never encountered that in the past when you used women's rooms? If you never did you are lucky. 

Oh, I will give one other tip because I am a dufous. Slow down. I have run into guys several times rushing out. This led to the infamous (heh) jackass instance. Also, I still have the habit of turning immediately once out of the stalls... except that now there are urinals instead of sinks. This has the potential to be embarrassing.  Did I mention I'm a dufous?

christopher,  I forgot about pee on the toilet seat.  Women need to raise the seat when they are peeing without quite sitting down on the seat, many have a worst aim than men.  Also, I just remember about women leaving signs of their period, blood on the seat and floor, pads and tampons not all the way in the bin and not rapped up at all or very poorly. I have seen many nice menrooms' in the year I have been using them.

Quote from: jayyylmao on October 31, 2014, 11:28:57 AM
I used the men's bathroom for the first time the other day, as I was in a shopping centre late, with very few people around, so I thought I'd try it. (It was a gross bathroom, but that's besides the point.)
I was wondering if anyone had any tips on bathroom usage, for a pre-everything, teenage trans guy.

Ughh. You ain't seen nothing yet. ::) One thing I have seen in Men's restrooms that I haven't seen in Women's restroom is crap wiped on the stall walls. How??? and really why??? But really how??? Seriously are there people really that nasty? Oh gawd. How I think they did it is just plain gross, Why though is even worst thinking about. Truck stops. I feel so sorry for the one's that had to clean it up though.

Quote from: christopher on November 01, 2014, 12:22:44 AM

And all you guys talking about pee on the toilet, you never encountered that in the past when you used women's rooms? If you never did you are lucky. 

I don't miss my time in the ladies at all. I've actually seen women's room in worse shape in several countries. I'll take unpleasant (natural) smells over insane amounts of perfume and blood on the seats.

*shudder*

Key to using the men's; in and out. It's just a toilet.

Quote from: Banf on October 31, 2014, 10:26:24 PM
Aye mens loos in pubs & bars are generally filthy. But there's a 6th option of course! Just hover. Hovering/squatting's cleaner, works your thighs a bit, and I prefer the sound of pissing from a height too. ;)

Forgot about that option, good point. Although I hear it can make fully emptying one's bladder more difficult, which is something to watch out for.

My spouse used to have to clean all the bathrooms at a place she worked. She's told me the women's was always worse than the men's.
I've always avoided public bathrooms as much as possible. The few times I did have to use women's, there was usually urine on most (or all) the toilets, so no real difference in that regard. There is more urine on the floor in the men's, many guys apparently either can't aim or don't bother. At least urine isn't as likely a transmitter of pathogens as blood, so there's that.

Ok, when it's really bad the worse toilet seems to be the men. But day in day out, the women's tends to be worse from my experience dealing with maintenance/cleaning of bathrooms.

Well I'm pre-everything too, but I've gotten away with using males restroom. I usually just follow everything else everyone been saying which is get in, do your thing, get out.  I've had ONE problem from a guy who made it his business to actually lean all in my damn face and look down at my pants. I was wearing a packer atm, I always do if we're going out in public and I know it'll be for a few hours, so he stopped and just looked at me weird. I said, can you move or do you want something? He immediately moved and said, sorry I thought you were a chick.

Anyways, just get in, pee, out. Use a stall if you have to nobody gives a crap. I have used the mens room in minneapolis during basketball games and such and guys just pull out a phone when there are lines. Just make sure you're paying attention otherwise you'll have that one weirdo who's all in your business or those people who scream, MOVE! When there has been an open spot for more than five seconds. Small talk? Sure, whatever. Nows men etiquette? As far as I've seen from guys, they simply stand and release. Nothing too bad. High school guys at my school can be idiots though and give you crap for peeing in a stall so be wary of that.

I find the smell much more bareable in the mens, it's not blood, nappies and whatever else goes on the women's.  I don't really find one to be more unclean than the other to be honest, but I can't really remember what the females were like these days.

I have noticed that you get doors that don't lock more often in the men's though.  It doesn't really bother me to be honest, I don't generally walk in on doors that were closed, and if I did and found a person sat there I'd be embarrassed, apologise shortly, and walk off.  I'd not stop and look at what they were doing or whether they have a penis or not.  I expect others to do the same.  And if I need to use it then I need to use it.  There's been times where I've managed to not lock the door successfully and it's swung open accidently halfway through, no big deal.  I know it bothers others though.

I haven't usually found them less clean (a lot less pee on the seats for sure), but less good repair (locks broken or off entirely, water on the floor, etc.) For some reason guys never report this stuff. More likely to have soap in the dispensers since guys don't wash their hands as much. Yeah I agree that the less you think about the better. Nobody really cares as one young guy says (no pun intended I don't think) "no one gives a crap" Gave me a laugh, Latrel. :)

I have never had small talk in a men's room except in gay spaces. (Although I've heard in some companies that men just carry on their discussions the way women do.) The reason men don't talk is so no one thinks they're gay, so if everyone is gay....


--Jay