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Title: New and excited
Post by: Thatoneguyyouknow on November 02, 2014, 08:49:07 AM
Post by: Thatoneguyyouknow on November 02, 2014, 08:49:07 AM
Hello,
I've been around these boards for a sec and finally had the guts to post.
Alittle about me,
I'm an ftm trans. Since childhood my parents always tried to get be fem but I didn't quite like it. I was attracted to boy toys and boy clothes. Hitting Middle school I started to grow a lot of hair to include my face, arms, legs and chest and developed a deeper voice. This felt normal up until kids started to tease me. My mom told me I had to shave. Going into the locker rooms felt werid. All the girls were changing together while I would just change in the stalls. I wasn't fat or anything, it just felt werid to undress around them.
Going thru the dictionary one day I came across the word "androgyny" and showed my mom. I told her that's how I felt inside, a boy and a girl but she just chuckled and said I wasn't.
So life kept going. I got into fishing, rough housing with other dudes, video games, and dark/horror stuff. Everytime I played a videogame I would chose a male with muscles. Felt more connected to them then other characters. I started weight training in school and noticed I was more masculine then most of the girls. I wasn't afraid to get into scraps(fights) with males. In class I developed a crush on my female English teacher. I tried to fight off the feelings, since I was raised in a Christian home it was against God for me to like females. Cause of this I dated two dudes to try to be "normal" and convince myself I was "straight" but dating them seemed wrong. I never really enjoyed intimacy with them, and my friends could tell I was the one wearing the pants in the relationship. With them I felt the pressure to be a "woman" and I knew I wasn't, so I left. I continued to crush on girls in college. Secretly wanting to sit them in my lap, and hold them close.
I practice drawing as I was growing up. In highschool I started drawing myself as male, and it felt right. In college I started drawing with one of my friends. I drew myself as a male character and she drew a fem character. It felt right. Then our characters became intimate. It was natural. At that moment I knew I was trans. Everything in my life added up. Everything made sense especially why I was drawn to females in a masculine way. I knew wanted to be on top, and enter them as if male. I find myself wanting to top both fem girls and very fem guys (that look female), but I still drawn mostly to cis females.
Since then I've been presenting as male online. I met a girl and we fell in love but I didn't want to tell her I was trans. I finally told her, breaking down crying how I wasn't born male. She understood and told me she didn't care, she still love me. We been dating for 3 years now and I'm the happiest guy since.
As far as T, I've been thinking about taking T for awhile but was scared of what might happen if my parents found out due to their Christian views. So I held off on it, but developed serious health issues over the recent years. Cause of this I not planning on ever taking T, scared it might make my health only worst. This forced me to accept my "body" as it is since there's not much I can really do with besides working out more.
I'm quite proud of my body hair and deep voice, to include my happy trail, arm, leg hair and the light but seeable mustache and under lip hair. Cause of this I feel that I have higher T levels then most. Just not happy with my baby face. I'm trying to get over the fact I have a "chest" and just wear baggy shirts. I actually do okay as long as I don't look down much. I have a brother that in college and seeing him makes me jealous, he taller and built alittle more but with my mustache and short hair we look pretty much the same. It's more the fact he was born male and I wasn't, even tho my mom knew I was more masculine then him growing up. She even stated that I was the boy and he was the girl by the way he acted. So that goes to show you, even my mom knew in the back of her head I was meant to be born a male.
Anyways, that's me. I'm happy to be on the site. Cheers.
I've been around these boards for a sec and finally had the guts to post.
Alittle about me,
I'm an ftm trans. Since childhood my parents always tried to get be fem but I didn't quite like it. I was attracted to boy toys and boy clothes. Hitting Middle school I started to grow a lot of hair to include my face, arms, legs and chest and developed a deeper voice. This felt normal up until kids started to tease me. My mom told me I had to shave. Going into the locker rooms felt werid. All the girls were changing together while I would just change in the stalls. I wasn't fat or anything, it just felt werid to undress around them.
Going thru the dictionary one day I came across the word "androgyny" and showed my mom. I told her that's how I felt inside, a boy and a girl but she just chuckled and said I wasn't.
So life kept going. I got into fishing, rough housing with other dudes, video games, and dark/horror stuff. Everytime I played a videogame I would chose a male with muscles. Felt more connected to them then other characters. I started weight training in school and noticed I was more masculine then most of the girls. I wasn't afraid to get into scraps(fights) with males. In class I developed a crush on my female English teacher. I tried to fight off the feelings, since I was raised in a Christian home it was against God for me to like females. Cause of this I dated two dudes to try to be "normal" and convince myself I was "straight" but dating them seemed wrong. I never really enjoyed intimacy with them, and my friends could tell I was the one wearing the pants in the relationship. With them I felt the pressure to be a "woman" and I knew I wasn't, so I left. I continued to crush on girls in college. Secretly wanting to sit them in my lap, and hold them close.
I practice drawing as I was growing up. In highschool I started drawing myself as male, and it felt right. In college I started drawing with one of my friends. I drew myself as a male character and she drew a fem character. It felt right. Then our characters became intimate. It was natural. At that moment I knew I was trans. Everything in my life added up. Everything made sense especially why I was drawn to females in a masculine way. I knew wanted to be on top, and enter them as if male. I find myself wanting to top both fem girls and very fem guys (that look female), but I still drawn mostly to cis females.
Since then I've been presenting as male online. I met a girl and we fell in love but I didn't want to tell her I was trans. I finally told her, breaking down crying how I wasn't born male. She understood and told me she didn't care, she still love me. We been dating for 3 years now and I'm the happiest guy since.
As far as T, I've been thinking about taking T for awhile but was scared of what might happen if my parents found out due to their Christian views. So I held off on it, but developed serious health issues over the recent years. Cause of this I not planning on ever taking T, scared it might make my health only worst. This forced me to accept my "body" as it is since there's not much I can really do with besides working out more.
I'm quite proud of my body hair and deep voice, to include my happy trail, arm, leg hair and the light but seeable mustache and under lip hair. Cause of this I feel that I have higher T levels then most. Just not happy with my baby face. I'm trying to get over the fact I have a "chest" and just wear baggy shirts. I actually do okay as long as I don't look down much. I have a brother that in college and seeing him makes me jealous, he taller and built alittle more but with my mustache and short hair we look pretty much the same. It's more the fact he was born male and I wasn't, even tho my mom knew I was more masculine then him growing up. She even stated that I was the boy and he was the girl by the way he acted. So that goes to show you, even my mom knew in the back of her head I was meant to be born a male.
Anyways, that's me. I'm happy to be on the site. Cheers.
Title: Re: New and excited
Post by: mrs izzy on November 02, 2014, 08:56:53 AM
Post by: mrs izzy on November 02, 2014, 08:56:53 AM
Thatoneguyyouknow
Welcome to Susan's family.(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sherv.net%2Fcm%2Femoticons%2Fbugs%2Fbutterfly-smiley-emoticon.gif&hash=55ebfb136b45eac8ba9632f37111f98067fc3aa6) (http://www.sherv.net/)
There are a few here that should have information to help. I am married to a ftm do know about that side of the struggles.
In the meantime pull up a chair and give a look over the following links for the site info...(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sherv.net%2Fcm%2Femoticons%2Fobject%2Fchair-3-smiley-emoticon-emoji.png&hash=f6de189a088518c5de131e0c9ce29661e7a52a55) (http://www.sherv.net/)
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Izzy
Welcome to Susan's family.(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sherv.net%2Fcm%2Femoticons%2Fbugs%2Fbutterfly-smiley-emoticon.gif&hash=55ebfb136b45eac8ba9632f37111f98067fc3aa6) (http://www.sherv.net/)
There are a few here that should have information to help. I am married to a ftm do know about that side of the struggles.
In the meantime pull up a chair and give a look over the following links for the site info...(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sherv.net%2Fcm%2Femoticons%2Fobject%2Fchair-3-smiley-emoticon-emoji.png&hash=f6de189a088518c5de131e0c9ce29661e7a52a55) (http://www.sherv.net/)
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Izzy
Title: Re: New and excited
Post by: Devlyn on November 02, 2014, 09:13:55 AM
Post by: Devlyn on November 02, 2014, 09:13:55 AM
Hi Thatoneguyyouknow, welcome to Susan's Place! I'm from Boston. Thanks for sharing that with us, your situation is similar to many here. Get busy posting and I'll see you around the site!
Hugs, Devlyn
Hugs, Devlyn
Title: Re: New and excited
Post by: Thatoneguyyouknow on November 02, 2014, 07:31:27 PM
Post by: Thatoneguyyouknow on November 02, 2014, 07:31:27 PM
Thanks for having me guys. :)
Title: Re: New and excited
Post by: MelissaAnn on November 02, 2014, 08:31:35 PM
Post by: MelissaAnn on November 02, 2014, 08:31:35 PM
Hello Thatoneguyyouknow,
Boy that's a mouth full.....! Welcome to Susan's place. There are a lot of wonder people here with similar stories. There is so great information on these forums. Just let your fingers do the walking, pull up a chair, relax and dig in. I wish you the best of luck on your journey. My the angles alwats be looking upon you on your journey.
Hugs,
Melissa Ann
Boy that's a mouth full.....! Welcome to Susan's place. There are a lot of wonder people here with similar stories. There is so great information on these forums. Just let your fingers do the walking, pull up a chair, relax and dig in. I wish you the best of luck on your journey. My the angles alwats be looking upon you on your journey.
Hugs,
Melissa Ann