Susan's Place Transgender Resources

For purposes of curiosity and hope. I know most trans folks will always have a unique set of challenges, but I assume that at a certain point in transition, things finally began feeling easy, normal, and everyday to (hopefully) most.

That time when you don't have to think about beings trans all the time; that time when you wake up, see your masculine self in the mirror, get dressed in clothes that fit you, go about your day, interact with people, etc...as a regular man and not necessarily a trans man.

When was this benchmark for you? After 1 year on T? Six months post top surgery? Or has it not yet happened yet?

Currently, since I am pre-everything, being trans is constantly on my mind and it's starting to drive me crazy, so I'd like to hear about "light at the end of the tunnel" stories where life becomes normal again and has little to do with being trans. Of course I'm also aware that many trans people are activists or otherwise involved in the community, but for me, I think I'd rather just get my gender corrected and then live my life as much like a cis man as possible.

Interested to see you guys' responses.

About 8 months into RLE and 5 months HRT. I got up one day and only saw ME in the mirror, not HIM. No makeup or anything complete with bed head. I felt wonderful!! That for me was the turning point. :)

This might disappoint you but I'm never going to feel normal no matter what in my transition. At all. And that's okay.

I'm at 6 months and I feel like things are finally starting to settle in. I feel like a man. I don't get regularly gendered that way but it's happening more and more and now when it doesn't, I'm more like "what's wrong with people, how come they can't see the obvious". I still think about being trans but it's not the big thing in my life, it's just part of my life.

Now top surgery is coming up and 3 months and so that's very  much on my mind but it's not all consuming and it's not about who I am. It's about making me feel better.

I wouldn't call myself an activist but I am very out in my community. Even with that, most days it doesn't really come up. Most days I'm taking care of my animals, going to work, getting outside... basically just doing my thing.

i didn't start feeling that way until i finally got on T but it really hit around 3 months on T when my voice deepened much more and i just felt more comfortable. that's because i always passed even pre-t but because i was pre-t, it was constantly on my mind and how i was gonna take my next steps in my transition, etc. but i'm on T and i'm booking my top surgery soon so i don't think about being trans as often except when i get dysphoric about stuff or have to deal with something that still has my birth name on it. besides that, i live my every day life as just any other guy i guess.

The day I came out followed by about 8 months into HRT after being on blockers for a few years (dumb Australian laws).
8 months in I had breasts, not buds, I could start wearing lower cut tops, get changed in female change rooms (top half at least) and I stopped worrying as much

Honestly, not until just over 2 years on T. For myriad reasons...delayed transition, so a lot of time spent pre-T, a delay in passing, and then after I was passing I had isolated myself so much that I really didn't see that I was able to live as a regular guy because I never left the house. Once I did start leaving the house I was accepted seamlessly as male in my new circles so it stopped being an issue.

The day I left part time and moved to full time.

Things got significantly easier after top surgery since I didn't have to worry about binders anymore. It actually boosted my confidence so much that I stopped using my packer altogether so that's another thing not to worry about. :P

Quote from: CandyCaneTie on November 11, 2014, 06:38:57 PM
For purposes of curiosity and hope. I know most trans folks will always have a unique set of challenges, but I assume that at a certain point in transition, things finally began feeling easy, normal, and everyday to (hopefully) most.

That time when you don't have to think about beings trans all the time; that time when you wake up, see your masculine self in the mirror, get dressed in clothes that fit you, go about your day, interact with people, etc...as a regular man and not necessarily a trans man.

When was this benchmark for you? After 1 year on T? Six months post top surgery? Or has it not yet happened yet?

Currently, since I am pre-everything, being trans is constantly on my mind and it's starting to drive me crazy, so I'd like to hear about "light at the end of the tunnel" stories where life becomes normal again and has little to do with being trans. Of course I'm also aware that many trans people are activists or otherwise involved in the community, but for me, I think I'd rather just get my gender corrected and then live my life as much like a cis man as possible.

Interested to see you guys' responses.

I've been on T for a few years now and I've noticed that I've faced challenges at each point. The challenges change but the struggle doesn't. I look 100% male. I interact with everyone as a man. I thought that would be good enough but lately I've been in a pretty bad depression. I don't feel like trying to get close to anyone because I fear rejection. I think absolutely everyone has an individual experience with transition. I think we experience similar things but the way we deal with them depends on our personality.

Good luck to you on your transition. Actually, my favorite part has been the middle ground where I'm still changing on T. You have a lot to look forward to.

From a certain perspective, things are getting easier all the time. My first binder enabled me to leave the house without having panic attacks. Social transition made me realize I don't actually hate all social interaction. My quality of life went way up in general after top surgery, continues to go up as T does its work.

Normal and everyday, eh, not quite there yet. I'm trying to re-enter the workforce now with virtually no mentionable work experience (for once it's a boon I'm mistaken for a minor, people might not look quite so kindly on a man my age having nothing but odd jobs and volunteer work for as long as I have), trying to maintain privacy about my medical history. I'm looking at finally learning to drive, as an adult.

Overall things have gone from "nope, not happening" to "I'm ready to do this, but man, what a mess."
I count myself extremely lucky to have all the support I've had (and continue to have) while I try to assemble my life.

For me, it got better when I started passing after being on T.  The constant reminders of my birth sex were triggering to the point that I was a social recluse, so being able to walk into a store, order dinner at a restaurant or even just use the toilet without someone referring to me as a "she" or "ma'am" gave me the freedom to actually LIVE LIFE and not think about my bloody gender.

But, having top surgery this year really just was the icing on the cake.  No more reminders having to constantly hide my chest.