Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I have gone by a nickname all my life . It is clearly female but still feels somewhat less female then my full birth name. Now I am starting to go by my chosen name and I notice that the while nickname I've always gone by still feels somewhat okay but is starting to feel like it isn't really my name. However seeing or hearing my full birth name gives me this really icky feeling....now I would say that's dysphoria. But I realize that this is pretty much how I've always felt about it! am I reading to much into things by thinking this could be a sign my gender issues aren't as new of a thing for me as they seem?

My birthname makes me cringe a bit, even though I'm pre-everything and am still using my birth name. Like, if someone asks what my full name is, I cringe.

I don't mind my first name that much but my birth name is very popular these days so it's annoying to hear someone call your name every time you go out somewhere.

I went by Liv when I was younger and it made me think "Lev" for some reason. I liked that it made me think of a masculine name.

I actually don't hate my birth name. It's not really terrible, and even used to be considered a unisex name (though not really anymore). The only problem I have with it is that I get confused when people call me by that name. I've known I was Jessica far before I started going by that, so it has just always been hard to adjust to anyone calling me by my birth name.

I dont hate my birth name but I have never cared for it as it never felt right to me, now I know why :)

I have never liked the shortened form of it and have always corrected people when they use it. It has always irked me as when introduced to people many would ask if I preferred the full name or the shortened. I would reply with I go by my full name and then they would proceed to use the shortened form.  >:(

I felt pretty bad about it but calmed down when I heard of guys with that name. What really makes me cringe is that my mom and I have the same name and have to use my middle name, which is clearly feminine with the exception of this one male Italian singer.

I don't mind my birth name too much because it's unisex. What I don't like is people's tendency to gender it anyway. I got really sick of being told that mine has the "feminine" spelling. I'd still be pissed off if people were to continue to tell me that, but I don't blame the name since the only other people I've met with the name Robyn are two cis men. When I was a kid, I also got tired of hearing Robin Hood, Batman and Robin, and bird jokes as well as the many times I had to correct people's spelling.

I hadn't really thought about it until now, but I've always felt disconnected from my birth name, as far back as I can remember. Hmm...

Can't remember really. The earliest I remember is probably around 6th grade when my friends decided to call me by a nickname I thought was very feminine, I didn't like it at all but I never really stressed on that point.

Between then and now, I know I always went by the less feminine nicknames that people seemed to come up with for me.

I really disliked my old first and middle name and could only tolerate it when an ie or y was added.  When one of my first serious boyfriends started calling me girl I knew someone saw the real me.

As a kid, I was just kind of meh on it. I was more or less okay with my nickname, "Charlie." That name didn't bother me so much. However, I have always NEVER been a fan of what my actual legal birth name was, "Charles." It wasn't until I was an adult that I started hating my nickname too.



In French class in 2nd grade, we had to find French names for ourselves. And I was really disappointed that, while other kids got to pick different names because their names weren't on the list of French names, the name "Charles" was on the list. I refused to go by "Charles," so I actually opted to go by "Claus" instead.

I remember a specific incident in music class in 3rd grade where we were clapping out the syllables in our names with "ta"s and "ti-ti"s. In my own head, I had a four-syllable "ta ta ta ta" pattern planned out, and I liked how even it sounded. But when the music teacher got around to me, she messed it up by using my legal name, and it became "ta (rest) ta ta," and I whined about how that didn't sound right.

In middle school, I remember having several episodes where all of a sudden I'd be looking at my name on paper, and all of a sudden the name "Charlie" just started looking completely weird. (I don't know how many people have these episodes, where all of a sudden when you think of how the letters in a particular word are spelled, and how they all somehow strangely come together to mean a certain thing, it just all seems completely ridiculous for a few seconds? I had a lot of those episodes with my name. Again, though, it's not like I disliked my name, it's just that I didn't ever really like it either, it was just the name I was given.)



Then, as an adult, I slowly started hating my nickname too. Because dear God, the sheer amount of references that people started making with the name "Charlie"... they teased me about Charlie Brown, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Charlie the Tuna (sometimes I seriously think people's favorite passtime is saying "Sorry, Charlie,") Choo-Choo Charlie from the old Good 'N Plenty commercial, I got TORTURED by Youtube's "Charlie the Unicorn" video ("Chaaaaarlie.... come to candy mountain, Chaaaaaarlie!" URGH... >.<), not to mention another Youtube video "Charlie Bit My Finger," and Charlie's Angels to go along with it. Pop culture just was not kind to my name. I pity anyone with that freaking name...

And I wasn't willing to start going by "Charles," because, I don't know, that name felt too "masculine" and "grown-up" somehow. I didn't want to be powerful or official or kingly or grown-up, I wanted a name that still ended in the feminine dimunuitive "ie." So independent of gender dysphoria, I really started hating my name.

By the time I legally changed my name, I was really glad to be rid of it. Now the only references that people make in regards to me are "Sweet Caroline" by Neil Diamond, another obscure 50s song called "Carrie," and the 1976 horror movie "Carrie." I can handle all of those references. They're all good references to things that I actually like, rather than just constant, constant, constant annoyances. And I'll admit, I still smile like crazy every time I see my new first and middle name, "Caroline Elizabeth." I LOVE LOVE LOVE that combination. It's so pretty! :)

Quote from: kittylover on November 12, 2014, 09:37:17 AM
am I reading to much into things by thinking this could be a sign my gender issues aren't as new of a thing for me as they seem?

I too, never liked my birth name, and never knew exactly why. OTOH, my cisgender sister never like hers either.

But I'd like to believe that in my case, at least some of the discomfort had to do with gender stuff.

My birth name is not only unisex but is also more commonly used as a nickname for girls instead of boys. (Let's say Sam, not Samantha or Samuel).

I love my birth name as it is unique and disliked when people extended my name and as a child would flat out ignore them,  yet that has now become my nickname so to speak. Thanks to teasing in high school and friends in TECH and work colleges thinking they where the first people to come up with it. I've always been more likely to look up when I hear a Samantha then a Samuel, even when I know there is no way that it can refer to me.

One of my good friends mothers introduced me once to her entire family as Samantha, she (the mother) is one of my most accepting supporters. Maybe she saw something then :P

I hate mine. Mostly because of why it was chosen. I'd probably feel better about it if it had just been picked out of a book of baby names or something.

Oh, I said in my earlier post that my birth name doesn't really bother me. That's really only true for the first name. My middle name (especially) and my last name really bug me. My middle name (I'll just say it) is Ross... blah! It just leaves a bad taste in my mouth after saying it because I know it's attached to me still. I think it's just ugly and doesn't fit me at all, even if I wasn't trans. I really only hate my last name because it's my dad's last name. He has decided to cut me out of his life, so I'll do the same to him by ditching his name. I'm going to take an older last name from my mom's side of the family instead that my cousin has also adopted. I feel more connected to that side of the family anyway.

I always used my middle name as it is Seth and that just sounded bass ass :P.

Quote from: Sephirah on November 12, 2014, 12:34:37 PM
I hate mine. Mostly because of why it was chosen. I'd probably feel better about it if it had just been picked out of a book of baby names or something.

I can agree with you there my first name was based on a cute guy from a late 70's sitcom. Also almost no one hears it correctly anyways so for the most part I just think close enough and have stopped arguing over it. Not only that it has 3 main stream spellings and the female version just sounds dumb. >:( My middle name isn't much better (you can probably guess it) its a country based on religious beliefs as a way to honor the religion. I'm no longer part of that religion yet I have a name honoring it. I'm thinking of just going first and last. There is no reason to have a third name.

Hate it with a passion.

Today I'm fine with my birth name mostly. As a kid, there was a grumpiness when I wanted to have a nickname or shorten it... since the only way to shorten "Lori" is to say Lo, and my Dad still says "High Low." when we meet.  ::)

Ever since I started online gaming I have played around with male names, and finally decided recently that I like my birthname JUST enough to alter it to a male version. I joke to myself that I get bonus marks for incorporating my German heritage into the new version.

I don't think I thought much of it . It seemed like something that was unchangable. Throughout high school I used a lot of different non-gendering pseudo-names.  I did however choose my name based on my parent's original choice.

I'm not fond of my middle name because its just so... Dumb. And every girl I've known with that name was unpleasant to say the least. But my first name is fine. I've always liked the name Erin. When I was a kid I was called "E" at home.

I was indifferent to it as a kid, but I grew to hate it.  When I was around 11-12, I actually asked my mother what my name would have been if I was FAAB.  I probably would have been a Juliana now, but my sister got that one when I was 14.  I took Gillian, the anglicized version of that name that was also derived from my given name.

G------ -illia- ------n

Plus every Jill I've met was awesome.

The short version of my birth name would be exactly the same as my chosen female name - Emi or Emy (I am teaching my daughter to call me like that cause it causes waaay less awkward situations than "dad"). So, Emy is fine for me :).
Now, there was quite a long period when I went by nickname "Cain" (epitome of my image of masculinity made to purge those weird feelings of wanting to be born girl)  - all my friends and acquaintances called me like that. Well, I cant really identify with that anymore as "Cain" seems entirely different person.

Didn't mind it but not many girls are called Jimmy!

I disliked it in favour of my middle name, which started with a J. About the time I was 11 I had created my online persona as Jen and that stuck better than D ever did.

I was not called by my birth name as a child until I started school. As I got older I disliked my childhood nickname but some family members continued to call me by it. I was very reluctant to tell anybody my birth middle name as it is more traditionally a girl's name (Allison). Later I would have liked my birth first to also have been either a unisex or girl's name too.

The birth name was basically unisex since both men and women have been named Michael, but didn't grow to truly dislike tell after I started transitioning. I did truly hate it when people used to refer to me as Mike. I always hated that.
Mariah

Quote from: Mariah2014 on November 12, 2014, 07:52:52 PM
The birth name was basically unisex since both men and women have been named Michael, but didn't grow to truly dislike tell after I started transitioning. I did truly hate it when people used to refer to me as Mike. I always hated that.
Mariah

Lol, I hated that too. I always thought it referred to something that should be on a stand, which people speak into. Not a person.

Exactly.
Mariah

Quote from: Sephirah on November 12, 2014, 08:01:44 PM
Lol, I hated that too. I always thought it referred to something that should be on a stand, which people speak into. Not a person.

My birthname was pretty awful tbh. I like Johanna Rose so much more :D

Birth name Gilbert.... Standard name, Bert.... Ughhhh... Pansy is way more fun.
P

When I was taking my drivers test in Pennsylvania, USA, it was administered by a PA State Trooper. He checked my license application and said is that how you spell your middle name? I looked and I spelled it Michelle. The trooper looked like a Marine Drill Sargent and I had long hair and tight jeans. I changed the name on the ID application.

Just so you do not get the wrong impression, the driving test trooper was female and 1/2 way through the test I stopped to look at the ducks flying south and we talked about the ducks for a minute.  I passed the test without a problem and had a nice time doing it :)

My birth name has always just felt wrong. Especially whenever I see it written down on a form or in some message or whatever especially.
Kind of flinch when someone calls me Tom. Never understood it growing up.

Although thankfully I don't think I have ever been in a place where I have been the only Tom and I usually get some other nickname or something.

Quote from: Carrie Liz on November 12, 2014, 11:04:44 AM
As a kid, I was just kind of meh on it. I was more or less okay with my nickname, "Charlie." That name didn't bother me so much. However, I have always NEVER been a fan of what my actual legal birth name was, "Charles." It wasn't until I was an adult that I started hating my nickname too.



In French class in 2nd grade, we had to find French names for ourselves. And I was really disappointed that, while other kids got to pick different names because their names weren't on the list of French names, the name "Charles" was on the list. I refused to go by "Charles," so I actually opted to go by "Claus" instead.

I remember a specific incident in music class in 3rd grade where we were clapping out the syllables in our names with "ta"s and "ti-ti"s. In my own head, I had a four-syllable "ta ta ta ta" pattern planned out, and I liked how even it sounded. But when the music teacher got around to me, she messed it up by using my legal name, and it became "ta (rest) ta ta," and I whined about how that didn't sound right.

In middle school, I remember having several episodes where all of a sudden I'd be looking at my name on paper, and all of a sudden the name "Charlie" just started looking completely weird. (I don't know how many people have these episodes, where all of a sudden when you think of how the letters in a particular word are spelled, and how they all somehow strangely come together to mean a certain thing, it just all seems completely ridiculous for a few seconds? I had a lot of those episodes with my name. Again, though, it's not like I disliked my name, it's just that I didn't ever really like it either, it was just the name I was given.)



Then, as an adult, I slowly started hating my nickname too. Because dear God, the sheer amount of references that people started making with the name "Charlie"... they teased me about Charlie Brown, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Charlie the Tuna (sometimes I seriously think people's favorite passtime is saying "Sorry, Charlie,") Choo-Choo Charlie from the old Good 'N Plenty commercial, I got TORTURED by Youtube's "Charlie the Unicorn" video ("Chaaaaarlie.... come to candy mountain, Chaaaaaarlie!" URGH... >.<), not to mention another Youtube video "Charlie Bit My Finger," and Charlie's Angels to go along with it. Pop culture just was not kind to my name. I pity anyone with that freaking name...

And I wasn't willing to start going by "Charles," because, I don't know, that name felt too "masculine" and "grown-up" somehow. I didn't want to be powerful or official or kingly or grown-up, I wanted a name that still ended in the feminine dimunuitive "ie." So independent of gender dysphoria, I really started hating my name.

By the time I legally changed my name, I was really glad to be rid of it. Now the only references that people make in regards to me are "Sweet Caroline" by Neil Diamond, another obscure 50s song called "Carrie," and the 1976 horror movie "Carrie." I can handle all of those references. They're all good references to things that I actually like, rather than just constant, constant, constant annoyances. And I'll admit, I still smile like crazy every time I see my new first and middle name, "Caroline Elizabeth." I LOVE LOVE LOVE that combination. It's so pretty! :)

I am a Charlie, and as tired as I got of that stupid "Charlie bit me" thing, I never grew to hate my name. I actually like it so much that I may just change my first name from Charles to Charlie since it's not necessarily a masculine name. My middle name would have to go and I would consider changing my last name to something that people wouldn't ask me how to spell.

Quote from: Eevee on November 12, 2014, 12:50:25 PM
Oh, I said in my earlier post that my birth name doesn't really bother me. That's really only true for the first name. My middle name (especially) and my last name really bug me. My middle name (I'll just say it) is Ross... blah! It just leaves a bad taste in my mouth after saying it because I know it's attached to me still. I think it's just ugly and doesn't fit me at all, even if I wasn't trans. I really only hate my last name because it's my dad's last name. He has decided to cut me out of his life, so I'll do the same to him by ditching his name. I'm going to take an older last name from my mom's side of the family instead that my cousin has also adopted. I feel more connected to that side of the family anyway.

Be thankful your middle name isn't Holt...I mean, I don't like the sound of it but I tolerate it cuz it's my grandpa's last name and I was close to him before he died...His middle name was Lee which I like more because it's kinda unisex

Quote from: BlaineGame on November 13, 2014, 07:22:52 AM
Be thankful your middle name isn't Holt...

I dunno... I like Holt a lot more than Ross. That's just me though.

Ross...  :icon_blah:

I hated it! Always hated the full version of the name when I was a kid because it meant I was in trouble, and I couldn't stand the nickname everyone called me by. I still have to write it under former names used whenever I do paperwork because it was even on my official school records. Plus, there were other, even more disgusting, versions of that nickname that people would sometimes use (And someone's still do, ugh).

I tried another available nickname for a while bit didn't really like it either. Too feminine.

Eventually I embraced the full version of my name because at work it meant I was being respected.

Then I shortened it to one unisex letter.

Then I decided on a male name, and I'm slowly integrating it into my life.

I like my new name a LOT better.

Mine was Nick, I picked out 3 names, gave them to mum, she said, no I like nicole, it wasn't on the list but liked it

i intensely disliked it.  It´s a very uncommon name and i was teased quite a bit for it.
Also i am named after my uncle, a man i never liked.
i have never been comfortable with it and now that i am linda, i really don´t like being called my birth name.

My birth name is somewhat uncommon and I sort of like it. But when I was a kid, I was TERRIFIED of saying my own name. One summer I met a girl who had the same name as me and I couldn't bring myself to call her by name. I was also TERRIFIED of seeing my own reflection as a kid, even just a glimpse in a reflective surface.

Come to think of it, I still feel weird hearing my name (the full version--my family calls me by the diminuitives and I HATE those), and I'd have trouble saying it for any reason other than to introduce myself.

Obviously this is an identity thing, but I wonder if it's a transgender identity thing. I hate not knowing for certain.