Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Last weekend I flew down to Orange County and LA to spend the weekend with a dear friend whose writing profoundly affected me and my perception of the world. Tegan is one of the most fun people that I know, and also a sometimes troubled spirit. Her marriage breakup has been worse than mine. Where I have felt anger, she has experienced rage. Where I have felt rejection, she has experienced betrayal. I went down to play, to comfort, and to be a poster child to her family who have rallied to her, but who find the whole transgender experience confusing and strange. But they are there for her and love her. I am so impressed with their sincerity and the love they openly express for their daughter and sister.

In any case, we went to Bent Con, an LGBT ComicCon spin off. Tegs in full costume, me just trying to look pretty. What fun! This is the second era of my life that I have enthusiastically been inside this genre. First as a wannabe gay man, now as a person seeking an authentic way to relate to the world and to myself.  Know what? We have more fun than I have found in any of the myriad of straight parties or events I have attended over the years. This is true be it marching in a small town parade, dancing in a crowded club, just hanging out with caring people. Those people who have questioned their very existence, when they come out the other side don't seem to need try to be the cool kids – they just naturally are. So Saturday Tegs showed me a festival, an old time radio show ("The Amazing Adventure Hour" ) and a club so crowded that if I was to dance I would have to be greased up or the friction would have ignited my clothing.

Sunday we met Veronica for lunch a bit north of San Diego, and in classic T-girl fashion she was broke but make me smile. We walked on the beach, did some shopping, drove in circles, and laughed for hours. That evening I fixed Scallops lightly sautéed in herb seasoned butter, gently layed on a bed of chopped spinach, with a dollop of sour cream, and fresh Parmasian, then broiled for a very few minutes, fresh baguette, Caesar salad, and lots of conversation. Teg whipped up some cookies and put a scoop of ice cream on the steaming treats. (Yes I love good food)

Then we talked about transition, what it means to be a child of dysphoria. How finding the path to who we are is both an epiphany and transformative. We spoke of the fear, the sadness, the seeking, the quest. For in the end I think that is what it is. It is a quest to find ourselves, to be liberated from the feeling of alienation. Not everyone makes it, and I weep for the lost ones. For a time I feared for Tegan, for a time I feared for myself. I go back and will continue go to places where a hand, a heart, and a smile are needed because it is in the giving of myself that I find my truth, my very soul.

It is amazing to me the power of acceptance. Once I know that the universe is neither beneficent, nor capricious, once I accept that it just is, what happens to me largely loses its power, and I am able to work through the challenges and rejoice in the successes. Last week I got some hard news. I will have to wait at least another year for GRS. The choice was to do some long delayed orthodontic work, have oral surgery that includes cutting my mandible in two, and save my teeth, or fulfill an imperative and become completed physically as a woman. The latter can wait, the former cannot. So it goes, today I do the next indicated thing, knowing that what ultimately becomes fulfilled will be enough.

Monday I flew to Seattle, and spent a day celebrating the birthday of my love with my new family. When I went home yesterday afternoon, I was tired and a little sad. I was greeted by a couple of wonderfully loving dogs, and immediately went for a walk in the freezing sunshine.

Last night as I lay in my trailer musing over the weekend and over my life, I was filled with a sense of peace. I will become all that I need to be, and the time taken to get there is neither more nor less that which is necessary for that to happen. I have friends, family, dogs, all who love me and whom I love. I am grateful to you who teach me, and who allow me to teach. Today I dance, what about you?

Today I celebrate a friend named Julie, twice a survivor, twice a New life, and always there for me, and for us all.
Blessings
Satinjoy

what did i do? i warped a loom. for what's apparently called backstrap weaving in english.
what did i learn? patent knitting (the theory).

Quote from: Taka on November 13, 2014, 04:44:10 AM
what did i do? i warped a loom. for what's apparently called backstrap weaving in english.
what did i learn? patent knitting (the theory).

Cool, How hard is it to learn?
j

the knitting technique isn't difficult at all, but i knit too tight, so nothing ever turns out good.
also has a lot to do with my lack of patience for the art. a couple inches of a doll scarf is enough to make me want to throw the whole thing in the oven.

weaving is much easier, or more difficult. depends on who you ask.
i like it, so it will always be easier for me. but i think many end up scratching their head wondering how to warp this hand loom so that they get the wanted result, and can't seem to take the time to make sure everything gets straight and tight and pretty. while i can see everything in my head without even having to draw the pattern on paper like the way they teach this art.

I often wish we were all closer.  That this is an international venue is exciting, but you have so much to teach me and my ability to cast off and wander is severely limited right now.

Sigh,
Julie

Quote from: Satinjoy on November 12, 2014, 09:10:41 PM
Today I celebrate a friend named Julie, twice a survivor, twice a New life, and always there for me, and for us all.
Blessings
Satinjoy

I love you too SJ, you both save lives and amuse.  A rare combination.

Peace,
Julie

I don't remember if I learned anything or not, I don't know if it's dementia or just old fuddy-duddy CRS. But I do know that I have some mighty fine friends here and that should count for something.

Fixed the closet pole in my living room closet (where most of my dresses and a lot of skirts are hanging.)  The support at one end had broken, leaving everything on the floor.

Went to the trans support group, we talked about how the TDOR event was going to go.

Went to choir practice at my church.  The sermon was on hope, so during "congregational reflection" (a Unitarian thing), I mentioned that I'd had to learn how to go through life without hope.  Nobody told me I was weird or didn't belong, which was nice.

I learnt rock to fakies (well almost)

[translation]
I did something cool on a skateboard

[/translation]

Quote from: Dread_Faery on November 13, 2014, 05:28:17 PM
I learnt rock to fakies (well almost)

[translation]
I did something cool on a skateboard

[/translation]

Cool

[translation]
Cool
[/translation]

Thanks for informing us about Bent Con and sharing your travel experiences Julie.  We have a far flung circle of fiends here and, like you, I try and meet up with people when traveling.  I learn more about how similar and yet different our journeys are.  I have meet folks who own there own company and those who are couch surfing to homeless.  What a diverse bunch we are!

Last weekend it felt like it might be an opportune time to groom the trails and do outdoor work on our river retreat.  Emmet/Emmy, my transgender dog (they never argue with me and its a fun way to start a conversation at the dog park), and I cut back brush, rescued baby trees and thoroughly enjoyed the sunshine as storms were forecast.  Hanging with friends rounds out a good time here at the beach.  I actually did some baking for our game night but you know the mix came out of a box.  As you know, it is a big deal if actually use the oven rather than the microwave :D