Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Imagine you are questioning and don't know anyone who isn't cis whom you could look to .  You do, however, have a close, longtime friend and you are confident that he will accept you no matter what (in my case, calls me his little brother).  You're thinking about telling him that you're seriously questioning your gender identity, haven't told anyone else, and are hoping for some support/guidance/etc...

What would you say to start it off?  What might you ask him?

That exact thing happened to me.
When I first came out a close friend msgd me and told me just that, she's also questioning her gender, but didn't have anyone else to talk to.

Just listen, and let them talk, and ask the questions, and answer them honestly. Don't push, let them go as far as they feel like talking about.

Good luck.

Thanks for the reply, but I'm a bit confused by it...perhaps I made I mistake or wrote my post in confusing manner and didn't quite express what I wanted to (I don't really have time to check it over now) but I'm just talking about myself potentially opening up to people I am close to, not the close friend opening up to me...

Hi hi!

I had a similar experience to that. I didn't know whether or not to tell my childhood friend that I have known for about 15 years at the time (16 years now). He's quite a carefree person but at the same time quite accepting but even so coming out was quite hard. So basically... went out with friends after first year of uni, had tooooo much alcohol and since our houses were close we decided to veer off into a random park and talk and catch up with each other. Started off with some light talk then went into a D&M and since it was already some pretty deep talk I decided to come out to him. He was shocked at first but now he supports what I do :D

Quote from: Naomi1110 on November 14, 2014, 01:24:06 AM
Imagine you are questioning and don't know anyone who isn't cis whom you could look to .  You do, however, have a close, longtime friend and you are confident that he will accept you no matter what (in my case, calls me his little brother).  You're thinking about telling him that you're seriously questioning your gender identity, haven't told anyone else, and are hoping for some support/guidance/etc...

What would you say to start it off?  What might you ask him?

I had the exact same situation actually, so let me tell you how I dealt with it.

Let me give some context first. So my best friend grew up with me since I was 3 and he was 8, we have been "brothers" as far back as I can remember.

Now to the juicy bit! I just told him straight, no fluff, no you know etc. To me I had full faith in him and he completely accepted me in fact he said that if he had the power I would be forced on his wife as maid of honor haha great guy!

My advice is to tell him straight if you have a brotherly bond this wont break you two up.

Whenever I tell someone I try to contextualize... If he has lived with you throughout your childhood it might be easier... But I pretty much talk about my whole childhood, the growing up and how it was dealing with everything, try to make them remember certain moments when they were around and something related happened, to then come out to them. This gives them a foundation to understand where that piece of information is coming from... With them knowing how you always felt and the life you had they can put 2 plus 2 together... Be prepared because many questions are gonna come up :) But if you two are really close everything should be fine :)

Quote from: gabimoneratt on November 14, 2014, 12:58:05 PM
Whenever I tell someone I try to contextualize... If he has lived with you throughout your childhood it might be easier... But I pretty much talk about my whole childhood, the growing up and how it was dealing with everything, try to make them remember certain moments when they were around and something related happened, to then come out to them. This gives them a foundation to understand where that piece of information is coming from... With them knowing how you always felt and the life you had they can put 2 plus 2 together... Be prepared because many questions are gonna come up :) But if you two are really close everything should be fine :)

Ditto...