Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I guess when people who knew us in our previous gender presentation use our correct name and pronouns it's a that they have started to accept us for who we are. Even so I guess there are levels of acceptance where they really feel comfortable with us presenting as women, where they no longer see us as "men" and their general behaviour reflects that.

The other night I was out with a colleague, we'd just arrived at a function and I said to her I needed to use the ladies... and she said she did too. So we went in, there were two stalls, I went left she went right, and we chatted then and afterwards at the mirror - my first experience of that. I've heard Cindy mention similar experiences but it was my first. It was almost so utterly remarkable I had pretty much forgotten about it until this morning. I guess my point is that this colleague knew me for 15 years as a "man", she has always been supportive of my transition but did struggle with my name and pronouns for a few months but now, after only eight months, she has no hesitation about going to the ladies at the same time... I have a feeling (but I could be wrong) that it might have been a different story a few months back.

I guess part of it is also about earning trust but if people, even people who have known the male version, feel comfortable and safe with you and see you as female then acceptance is the result. Yes? No?

I have had similar experiences in the ladies room with women that knew me in my other presentation and we chatted while we did our business. It is very surreal to experience that level of acceptance and I found it very validating too. It seems like women are quick to accept us once they realize we are one of them.


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I totally agree with you, Grace. Trust has to be a factor in her accepting you, but I also think a lot of it has to do with the confidence and acceptance of who you are that plays a big part of it. I am looking so forward to these experiences and the nice part about transitioning is almost on a daily basis. There is a new experience for me. It really makes life exciting. So when I go to bed at night. I look forward to the next day just to see what's going to happen.

Hugs,

Melissa Ann

For me, with my family it was like nothing had changed.

I came out, we moved to Victoria, a few weeks later we had our first family get together I was full time and walked in the door and it was like I was female from the day I was born.

There were times after that when I would go out with a cousin and introduce me without a second thought "This is my cousin Nicole".

Quote from: Ms Grace on November 15, 2014, 06:13:38 PM
The other night I was out with a colleague, we'd just arrived at a function and I said to her I needed to use the ladies... and she said she did too. So we went in, there were two stalls, I went left she went right, and we chatted then and afterwards at the mirror - my first experience of that. I've heard Cindy mention similar experiences but it was my first. It was almost so utterly remarkable I had pretty much forgotten about it until this morning. I guess my point is that this colleague knew me for 15 years as a "man", she has always been supportive of my transition but did struggle with my name and pronouns for a few months but now, after only eight months, she has no hesitation about going to the ladies at the same time... I have a feeling (but I could be wrong) that it might have been a different story a few months back.

I have noticed that men tend to be interested only in the thing between our legs, while women see the overall picture of a person. Those who dare to ask my biological sex are all men. No woman yet asked me about my biological sex. Sharing a women's restroom does not bother them, and they just accept it. Only men are particularly interested in which restroom I use. Men are easily short-sighted, focusing on just a small particular part.

barbie~~

What lovely stories.  Nicole, your family is beyond special they are truly loving.  I can think of no more wonderful gift than that of acceptance.

Isn't chatting in stalls remarkable?  After decades of silent concentration at a urinal continuing to be involved in every piece of the puzzle of life is so affirming and so feminine I forget sometimes that it has not always been normal.  I was treated with love by the women at work from the day I came out, which says something about them as I was tentative and unsure.  My experience with my male colleagues has also been positive, although I think some of them have concluded I lost my mind.  The truth is I found my soul.

Thank you Grace for sharing the delights of the mundane, and the joys of living authentically.

Fair Winds,
Julie

Totally yes. Even me after 17 years get surprised. The other day was my last work day before my srs in a week. This guy that works with me, just before leaving, knows about my trans status, gives me a big hug and kiss on the cheeks and says he is gonna try to visit me. Guy is totally heterosexual oriented. I was super surpised and happy. :D

Though still early fulltime now (just over a month and a half), I am experiencing some of the same. Coupled with three very close female friends who simply accept me as one of the girls and now my daughter who does the same, I'm getting very comfortable with being me. And being full time is one of the best choices I ever made. :)

Great moment Grace!

Some people, and I agree it is most often women, just click and that's that... Woman you are!

The changes in their behavior are each a little warm surprise gift.  Men who I have known for years happy to hug and kiss me on the cheek... escorting me to safety... opening doors.  Girls merrily peeing next to me or chatting away in toilets... Girls openly talking about their sex life/ periods etc

People are so surprising!