Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Weird situation for me. I recently moved to a new apartment. The good thing is my neighbors and landlord take me a girl. I can finally be myself and really start living a normal life.

But here is the downside. I am yet to come out at office. Hence I goto office in guy mode. I wonder how my neighbors are going to respond to a girl who cross dresses for work...

Lol.. Any ideas how I can deal with this. There is no way I can tell my landlord I am trans...

change in a public bathroom on your way to work...?

that sounds like a funny situation to end up in.
maybe you could pretend to be your boyfriend.

Come out at work? ;)

Quote from: Taka on November 17, 2014, 03:05:52 AM
change in a public bathroom on your way to work...?

that sounds like a funny situation to end up in.
maybe you could pretend to be your boyfriend.

Hehehe acting as my own bf would not work either. And changing in a public rest room on a daily basis is also not a long term solution... [emoji19]

But its so funny . Now that I am finally myself .. I need to sneak my way into being my old horrible self.. Lol.. I am so totally finding this situation soooo hilarious...

But a reality check I need to come out at office asap..

Quote from: Ms Grace on November 17, 2014, 03:10:06 AM
Come out at work? ;)

Yes Ms. Grace.. I have initiated the process. But from what I heard is that my firm's HR head is a total lgbt phob.. I will lose my job if I come out at work right now..

just throwing out ridiculous suggestions of bad solutions...
i'm happy if they make you smile.

can your job handle andro?

Quote from: Taka on November 17, 2014, 03:20:57 AM
just throwing out ridiculous suggestions of bad solutions...
i'm happy if they make you smile.

can your job handle andro?

No not really. There is a dress code here. Casual formals..

I would suggest, when u r leaving your house u can wear formal heels shoes and in the car u can change your shoes then again when u r going back Home change your men formal shoe and wear the female formal heels atleast if u wear ladies footwear they won't be suspiciousaabout u and rest u can handle ;-)

does formal andro really not exist...?
there has to be some suit out there that's way less masculine than the norm...

i'm so happy that my job doesn't have any dress code.
some politicians seem to think we should, but as long as they can't make the rest of our town council agree, i'm safe.
and even after that, there are anti discriminatory laws in my country, i think. and female formal wear is just a more feminine cut.

You know, they might just think it's a couple that lives there and have no clue about why they never see you two together.

Just do what superman did, wear glasses.
;-)

Yikes. Looks like your options are slim. You are in India so it is hot and you don't wear outerwear, otherwise I could suggest just wearing a long women's coat and then shedding it before you walk into your workplace.

Hmm...

Do you leave early enough to avoid your landlord? How many times do you cross his path anyway?

Are you driving to work or pubic transport?

If you're driving, put the male clothes in a bag, walk out the door in your female clothes, slowly changing on the way to work.

Quote from: ImagineKate on November 17, 2014, 03:44:17 PM
Yikes. Looks like your options are slim. You are in India so it is hot and you don't wear outerwear, otherwise I could suggest just wearing a long women's coat and then shedding it before you walk into your workplace.

Hmm...

Do you leave early enough to avoid your landlord? How many times do you cross his path anyway?

I wont have to meet my landlord all that much. But the caretaker I will end up crossing everyday.

Kate yes that is exactly what I am going to do for a while. Going to wear a jacket with heels to my car and then shed them on my way to work. At least this solution is probably going to work until March. Hopefully I should be out at work by then.

Quote from: Hanazono on November 17, 2014, 08:02:13 PM
alright! all the best!

Thank you.. [emoji5] [emoji5]

I know this is probably a bad idea, but have you ever considered telling the landlord and caretaker you are trans.  I'm guessing this could make life difficult in India but I'm curious to know if this might be an option.

Paige :)

Quote from: ssneha23 on November 17, 2014, 03:14:43 AM
Yes Ms. Grace.. I have initiated the process. But from what I heard is that my firm's HR head is a total lgbt phob.. I will lose my job if I come out at work right now..

Yeah well the HR head may be a total phobe but that would go against any companies discrimination policy. I really don't know how it is in India though. Is there any way to change jobs so you can be the real you?

Quote from: Jess42 on November 17, 2014, 10:12:00 PM
Yeah well the HR head may be a total phobe but that would go against any companies discrimination policy. I really don't know how it is in India though. Is there any way to change jobs so you can be the real you?

No not really I can't change jobs now. Ironically, the US counterpart of my firm has been awarded one of the places in the US for lgbt employees to work at. The sad part is they don't seem to have similar policies in India.

For the long term, I am hoping to finish 1 more year at this place. Get my ffs and legal gender and name change and then move on in stealth to another company.

For now.. I guess I will just have to be the girl who cross dresses for work.. [emoji25] [emoji25]

Quote from: ssneha23 on November 17, 2014, 10:52:26 PM
No not really I can't change jobs now. Ironically, the US counterpart of my firm has been awarded one of the places in the US for lgbt employees to work at. The sad part is they don't seem to have similar policies in India.

For the long term, I am hoping to finish 1 more year at this place. Get my ffs and legal gender and name change and then move on in stealth to another company.

For now.. I guess I will just have to be the girl who cross dresses for work.. [emoji25] [emoji25]

That sux. Don't you just love double standards though? ::) Your company has a US counterpart? Is there anyway you can get transferred? I know it's scary moving to another country but I went to Korea for two years, military mind you so it was different for me, but still I emersed myslef as much as I could into the Korean culture. If I was a normal worker with a company that had a counterpart there I would be the first to volunteer to go. But being a long way from home can suck if you are don't thrive on being alone and or new experiencing new places.

Quote from: Jess42 on November 17, 2014, 11:09:59 PM
That sux. Don't you just love double standards though? ::) Your company has a US counterpart? Is there anyway you can get transferred? I know it's scary moving to another country but I went to Korea for two years, military mind you so it was different for me, but still I emersed myslef as much as I could into the Korean culture. If I was a normal worker with a company that had a counterpart there I would be the first to volunteer to go. But being a long way from home can suck if you are don't thrive on being alone and or new experiencing new places.

Yep double standards totally suck
Yes I will try and make a transfer if possible.

Btw .. Here is a pic.. This me going to office

https://flic.kr/p/pPtB6u/ (https://flic.kr/p/pPtB6u/)

Total male fail lol

Quote from: ImagineKate on November 18, 2014, 07:19:27 AM
Total male fail lol

[emoji14] [emoji14] Ironically today morning I really tried hard to make myself look like a guy. Lol.. So just wondering.. What if I simply  forget what my neighbors think. I'll just come across as a Tom boy..

This is me today. :)

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1188.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fz403%2Frjairam%2Favatar_zps42af62d5.jpg&hash=2dc335b6ad5d5edb276dffcbf94aaab6c8c52728) (http://s1188.photobucket.com/user/rjairam/media/avatar_zps42af62d5.jpg.html)

My wife says I look like my mom...

This could be the start of a new photo thread.

This is me at work (also not out to anyone) today.

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi36.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe3%2Fiam_leila%2FSusans%2Fat_work_zps1df73098.jpg&hash=d1e35f13ca3acc1d25b5447392adbe4e2be5f5b1)

Quote from: Leila on November 18, 2014, 09:24:52 AM
This could be the start of a new photo thread.

This is me at work (also not out to anyone) today.

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi36.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe3%2Fiam_leila%2FSusans%2Fat_work_zps1df73098.jpg&hash=d1e35f13ca3acc1d25b5447392adbe4e2be5f5b1)

Whoa... how do you keep that up?

Quote from: ImagineKate on November 18, 2014, 09:11:48 AM
This is me today. :)

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1188.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fz403%2Frjairam%2Favatar_zps42af62d5.jpg&hash=2dc335b6ad5d5edb276dffcbf94aaab6c8c52728) (http://s1188.photobucket.com/user/rjairam/media/avatar_zps42af62d5.jpg.html)

My wife says I look like my mom...

Wow..I luv your eyebrows and bangs... And you're such a cutie.. Would luv to see a dressed snap of yours.. [emoji5]

Quote from: ImagineKate on November 18, 2014, 09:40:49 AM
Whoa... how do you keep that up?

Wow how do you manage to keep such long hair in office..

Quote from: ssneha23 on November 18, 2014, 09:42:36 AM
Wow..I luv your eyebrows and bangs... And you're such a cutie.. Would luv to see a dressed snap of yours.. [emoji5]

Thanks Sneha! The brows I'm not 100% happy with yet but they are getting there. I'm working up to a dressed snap, I'll probably do a glamour shoot sooner or later with proper makeup etc. We actually have a little studio at home.

And I wish my hair would just hurry up and grow already... on HRT I suppose it grows faster, I guess I'll find out next month.

Quote from: ImagineKate on November 18, 2014, 09:45:55 AM
Thanks Sneha! The brows I'm not 100% happy with yet but they are getting there. I'm working up to a dressed snap, I'll probably do a glamour shoot sooner or later with proper makeup etc. We actually have a little studio at home.

And I wish my hair would just hurry up and grow already... on HRT I suppose it grows faster, I guess I'll find out next month.

Kate .. Somehow you look Indian.. Just curious

Quote from: ssneha23 on November 18, 2014, 09:43:24 AM
Wow how do you manage to keep such long hair in office..

Yeah, I mean at first glance I would gender her female 100% and it's not just the hair.

Quote from: ssneha23 on November 18, 2014, 09:48:09 AM
Kate .. Somehow you look Indian.. Just curious

I am of Indian heritage, but I was not born in India. I am originally from the West Indies (Trinidad).

My mother's side is Punjabi (a lot of Singhs in the family) whereas my dad is more Bengali I think.

Quote from: ImagineKate on November 18, 2014, 09:48:48 AM
I am, but I was not born in India. I am from the West Indies (Trinidad).

Ah ok... So are you in the states currently? I will definitely try and catch with you. If I ever make it... Sitting with a valid visa unable to travel is sooooo bugging...

When I first grew out the hair I told everyone I was planning to do it, a few questioned it so I told them it was for charity and that was the end of it. I did though get it cut back to my neck and I did actually donate the hair to charity. To be honest I do sometimes tie it back. Even after shaping the eyebrows. Nothing. I hated wearing mens regular black leather shoes, so I just started wearing dark grey trainers one day and once again nobody said anything. I just seem to get away with it.

Quote from: Leila on November 18, 2014, 09:53:01 AM
When I first grew out the hair I told everyone I was planning to do it, a few questioned it so I told them it was for charity and that was the end of it. I did though get it cut back to my neck and I did actually donate the hair to charity. To be honest I do sometimes tie it back. Even after shaping the eyebrows. Nothing. I hated wearing mens regular black leather shoes, so I just started wearing dark grey trainers one day and once again nobody said anything. I just seem to get away with it.

You are one definitely lucky girl... I am just beginning to grow my hair. No one has questioned it yet.. Curious to see how far I can go before people begin raising the eyebrows

Quote from: ssneha23 on November 18, 2014, 09:50:54 AM
Ah ok... So are you in the states currently? I will definitely try and catch with you. If I ever make it... Sitting with a valid visa unable to travel is sooooo bugging...

Yes, I am in the states, in the NYC area and I live in NJ. I work in the city. So if you're coming here, great! Let me know when you're here.

Quote from: ssneha23 on November 18, 2014, 09:57:38 AM
You are one definitely lucky girl... I am just beginning to grow my hair. No one has questioned it yet.. Curious to see how far I can go before people begin raising the eyebrows

I suppose I am. The job I have isn't particularly customer facing and there isn't really a strict dress code here either, with only an expectation to dress appropriately. If anyone questions your hair length, and there are no rules on hair length, then there is nothing they can do, especially if you keep it neat (tied back).

I think people notice but they aren't saying anything. I mean from your picture you look 100% like a woman. As I said, I would gender you "F" right away.

Quote from: ImagineKate on November 18, 2014, 10:38:19 AM
I think people notice but they aren't saying anything. I mean from your picture you look 100% like a woman. As I said, I would gender you "F" right away.

I think you might be right in that they think something may be afoot, but no one has had the courage to confront me over it.

My god ssneha. You may as well give it up. You look like a woman dressed in male clothes. Sorry but eventually eyebrows are gonna' be raised. I would be surprised if they aren't already. As for the hair deal, another good old double standard most everywhere it seems. Just who made it a number one rule that guys have to have short hair? For me it is the number one way that I battle the dysphoria. And if someone don't like it, then they really know where they can go. >:-) If it costs me job opportunities, then so be it. It's not like I ever had a real job anyway in an office working 9-5. Plus long hair has provided me some more unique opportunities along the way even. But I will be who I am no matter what. What though is totally up to me and no one else.