Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I am Sheila Grace. I am an older (64 years) MtF early in transition. Fortunately, I am younger acting and appearing, and am looking so forward to the journey. I live in Texas and have been married for many years. My SO is at a point where she accepts who and what I am, but she is hoping that it is a "passing phase". It's not. I remember wearing lipstick and rouge for a dance recital at age 5. It was just the best feeling! I always felt jealous of girls for being able to do all the things that I privately loved. I felt something was amiss growing up in a very conservative town and family. I put all my energy into studies and sports and dated infrequently. I went on to a military academy and was able to repress any "feminine tendencies" with macho, alpha male activities. I was a paratrooper and lived like there was no tomorrow. I wanted little time to think after I got out and went to medical school, then married and was a practicing physician for many years. At some point, while no one was home, I tried on a chiffon dress that belonged to my wife. I think back to that feeling; I was "home". It just fit and I knew that there was something deeper than just wearing the dress. I found a place in Houston that did make-overs and had several wonderful experiences, albeit brief. Then I began to buy my own clothes and make-up and hid them from my family. Finally, I told my wife, and she was accepting, but was terribly afraid that our children and/or others would find out. I cross dressed for years, episodically thinking it was a "weakness" and throwing things away (in dumpsters 2 blocks over!); only, to start again soon after. I went through a period where I thought I might be gay, but soon realized that was not the deal. It is odd that it took me going to a batchelor party at a "gentleman's club" to finally figure it out. I loved watching the women; how they walked and moved with such fluidity. When I thought about it later, I realized that what I was really wanting was to BE one of those women. It was a revelation and an awakening that has not been tempered. I am now retired and dress most nights. My wife is accepting, but ambivalent. I asked her to go for "Trans-Week" in Provincetown, Mass, but she said that it was "too soon". I have told my daughters about being transgendered and have bought "Transformed Lives" for them both and my wife. It is going very slowly and I am really doubtful that I can be accepted for who and what I am. In the meantime, I have found a makeup artist who has helped me with that, bought some tasteful clothes, and have "snuck out" several times to have lunch or coffee with supportive acquaintances. I am independently building a support group, have a wonderful therapist, a nutritionist, and a trainer who knows about my plans. I finished a long period of training to get to a low body fat (5%), in order to start HRT. I will do that next year. My plans are to undergo FFS and after 6 months- 1year as FT, to have SRS. Those are my intentions. We will see how they unfold. However, I am past the point of grappling over whether this is "right or wrong". It is ME and I know that; I also know with all of my being that to NOT transition is not an option. It is a soul calling and I risk losing much more than family and friends if I do not follow my heart!!!!! Bless all of you on this board, for your willingness to grow and share. You are a lifeline for me. Love and hugs, Sheila Grace

Welcome Sheila. Welcome to the club. There will be a mod come along shortly to probably point you to the TOS and rules to live by.

Your story resonates with a lot of us. You may not be accepted by your daughters and your wife. You have to decide which way you want to go. You will be accetped here though.

Hi, Sheila Grace! :icon_wave:

I'm that mod they warned you about... LOL

Welcome to Susan's Place and congratulations for finding us. 

Here's some quick links to help you along

Please be sure to review

• Site Terms of Service and rules to live by  (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html)
  
• Standard Terms and Definitions (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,54369.0.html)
  
• Post Ranks ( including when you can upload an avatar) (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,114.0.html.)
  
• Reputation rules (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,18960.0.html)
  
• Photo, avatars, and signature images policy (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,59974.msg383866.html#msg383866)
  

Hugs,
~Jill

Hi Sheila,

A big warm welcome to Susan's place. It's always great to welcome another sister to our ever-growing family. There are many beautiful people here who are either going through or have gone through the same feelings and emotions you are. There is a vast array of information and some great resources available here. Everything is right at your fingertips, so pull up a chair, relax and let your fingers do the walking. I do so hope that I will see you around the forums. I wish you nothing but the best of luck on your journey and may the Angels always look upon you and help guide you on your path.

Hugs,

Melissa Ann

Quote from: Jill F on November 17, 2014, 04:30:27 PM
I'm that mod they warned you about... LOL

Welcome to Susan's Place and congratulations for finding us. 

Hugs,
~Jill

So now I'm a they Jill? I thought we were better than that, ;D

Thank you MelissaAnn and Jess42; Jill I respect all good boundaries ;). Glad to be among family. Has taken a long time to get here. I am not leaving! Blessings.

Welcome Sheila Grace to Susan's family.

Lots of us more mature ladies around and glad to have another become family.

Lots to read and posts to type in.

I am the good mod, watch that jill she is also,

great. Lol

Hugs

Hi Sheila Grace, welcome to Susan's Place! I'm from Boston. Thank you for your service, we have a large group of veterans on the site, we encourage everyone to sign in here:  Roll Call  (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,96755.0.html)  See you around the site!

Hugs, Devlyn

Welcome Sheila,

Good to have you joining the family. I wish you all the best on your journey. It sounds like you've got it pretty well mapped out and it's nice to hear that your wife hasn't completely freaked out as many do.Hope the rest of your journey goes smoothly. Be seeing you around the site.

Hugs,