Susan's Place Transgender Resources

  Hello I am Laurette and I gave up the fight. I knew I was feminine from an early age. I have tried to fight her all of my life. It never worked. I first had an inkling on what I was 15 years ago and was ashamed. I didn't like the thought I might be a transexual. So I was bound and determined to bury it so deep that she would die. Well it's 15 years later and you guessed it. She won. Surprizingly I'm giddy about it today. I'm 43 years old and am bittersweetly ready to start "killing" him so she can live and thrive. Lord knows I failed my mancard.

Sincerely
Laurette

Oh honey, you have given up nothing, you have lost nothing. You will gain your life.

Hugs and welcome

From what you tell us she must be nice and patient. That's a good start.

Welcome!

Hi Laurette  :icon_wave:

Welcome to Susan's  :)  Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

Here's some quick links to help you along

Please be sure to review

• Site Terms of Service and rules to live by  (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html)
  
• Standard Terms and Definitions (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,54369.0.html)
  
• Post Ranks ( including when you can upload an avatar) (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,114.0.html.)
  
• Reputation rules (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,18960.0.html)
  
• Photo, avatars, and signature images policy (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,59974.msg383866.html#msg383866)
  

Hugs

V M

Welcome to Susan's, Laurette. You just accepted who you really are. Self acceptance can lead to self-discovery.


:)

Congratulations for finding yourself.  I also came out at age 43, and have to say it was such an incredible relief to finally get to be "the real me".  I sincerely hope you can find true happiness and fully enjoy everything that life has to offer..

Quote from: Laurette Mohr on November 19, 2014, 05:49:49 AM
  Hello I am Laurette and I gave up the fight. I knew I was feminine from an early age. I have tried to fight her all of my life. It never worked. I first had an inkling on what I was 15 years ago and was ashamed. I didn't like the thought I might be a transexual. So I was bound and determined to bury it so deep that she would die. Well it's 15 years later and you guessed it. She won. Surprizingly I'm giddy about it today. I'm 43 years old and am bittersweetly ready to start "killing" him so she can live and thrive. Lord knows I failed my mancard.

Sincerely
Laurette

Wow. I learned a long time ago the female is sometimes stronger and way more persistent than the male. BTW Laurette, neither one has to die and be buried. Most people are oblivious to it but the feminine and masculine can make a whole. Both have strengths and weaknesses. LOL. You don't have to kill him though. I am a male fail too. I like both sides but definitely cherish the female side so much more. ;)

Hi Laurette, welcome to Susan's Place! I'm from Boston. I have Devlyn and Mike cohabiting in me, there haven't been any murders yet! See you around the site!

Hugs, Devlyn

Hi there Laurette

Our 40s are a great decade in which to give The Girl her time.   :D

It might seem bittersweet in some ways, for time possibly lost, but I prefer to see "bittersweet" as a dark chocolate - something that you grow into appreciating, and which is far superior to the mikly compromise person who is our past.

You're among a huge band of sisters here who knew from their teens or twenties what they should have been, but tried, for all the right reasons, to make a success of themselves in the wrong body.  That we managed to get this far is testimony to a great strength, something that you're going to need for whatever comes next.

You don't need to kill off the boy - just put him in a box somewhere.  And you will gradually forget about his physical manifestation.  If you can, try to preserve the richness of those four decades in some way as you reinvent yourself.

I wish you luck, so reach out to us here as you embark on your journey. 

Hugs
Julia

Hello and welcome Laurette! <3

hello

 First off. Thank you all for the warm welcome. It made this girl smile. Secondly I'm ready to start getting the ball rolling on HRT but don't want the hassle of having to wait for 3 to 6 months of therapy. What are y'alls thoughts on informed consent?? Is it ok and how does that work?? Thanks again for making me feel welcomed.

Hi Laurette

If informed consent is a path you can take to give you rapid access to controlled  HRT, it is an option, and people do have strongly divergent opinions here.  But I would combine it as rapidly as possible with therapy.  There are two issues at play here.

HRT is going to change your body and, to some extent, how you think and how you feel things.  It's not a joke.  Let me use a comparison:  think about getting a full arm tattoo - it will take some time to do, but it's going to have permanent implications to your body, and to how people see you.  And it is pretty much irreversible, at least after some 6-12 months.   I see people who believe that HRT will immediately improve  their lives.  On a psychological level this may be true, but for many of us older girls, if properly controlled, HRT provides modest, albeit welcome changes.  To some extent, once you're on HRT, you need to constantly ask yourself two questions:  1.  Do I realise that this stuff is permanent? and 2. Am I ok that this is part of a process that is going to radically alter my life?

The therapy is, in my mind, more important, since it uncovers your reasons, intent and commitment, and it will pretty much define your ongoing journey far more than the chemicals will.  It's also a lot harder than just popping on a patch or swallowing some pills - it requires you to face yourself and ask yourself some very hard questions.  But if you do it correctly, so that you understand your motivations, the possible risks, outcomes, trouble and change it will cause, it will allow you to be very much in control of your entire process.  And for me, this is such a big change that I REALLY want to be in control of all of it.

Hope this makes sense
Julia

 Thank you so much Julia. I realize I have a long road ahead and there's no quick fix. I'm ready to get started just need to take it slower than I want. It's like a second puberty. Ill take your advice and seek therapy. It couldn't hurt. THANK YOU.

Quote from: gennee on November 19, 2014, 03:58:52 PM
Welcome to Susan's, Laurette. You just accepted who you really are. Self acceptance can lead to self-discovery.


:)

I second that!  :) Great thoughts there Gennee!  :)

Hi Laurette,

Welcome to Susan's and better later than never. I wish you a safe and fulfiling journey.

Hugs,

Quote from: Laurette Mohr on November 20, 2014, 07:08:17 AM
Thank you so much Julia. I realize I have a long road ahead and there's no quick fix. I'm ready to get started just need to take it slower than I want. It's like a second puberty. Ill take your advice and seek therapy. It couldn't hurt. THANK YOU.

You're welcome Laurette.  Ah, one thing you could start doing now, and it will hurt, is facial hair removal.  ;D  If you've always found it an annoyance, its absence will be a good thing.  And if you're sure that you are going to transition, getting rid of it as soon as possible really helps massively.

Not to steal her thunder (you go, girl!), I'm new here as well (brand new) and I too have given up the fight that has busted my chops for over 40 years.  I remember praying to God that I would wake up as a girl, when I was around 9 or 10, but I was pretending I was a girl a lot earlier than that (3,4, 5, maybe?).  I thought I  had overcome "her," but she came back in force around three years ago.  It was sort like that scene in "Fatal Attraction," where Glenn Close told Michael Douglas, "I'm not going to be ignored!"  Well, I'm not ignoring her anymore.  There's more to this story, but I don't want to be a "thread-jacker." 

Lorraine, it takes a lot, and I mean a lot, of guts to come out; I was scared to death when I did, just this year, once in therapy, and then to what's left of my family, and both were supportive ( I did tell my psychiatrist a couple of years ago).  So far, nobody has had a problem with it--yet.  I'm trying to  figure out the best way to transition, and to come out at work, without causing a major problem (like getting fired and stuff). 

Sorry to crash the party; it just seemed like a good place to jump in. Now, back to our regularly scheduled programming.   ;D

 No worries deecee. I was 9 or 10 when I too prayed but instead of to God it was to the Wonder Woman doll I slept with. Welcome to the journey.

Welcome to Susan's Laurette. As you'll see it's never too late to be who you truly are. And, I wish you my very best as you begin this wonderful and sometimes a lil frightening journey! I just celebrated my 15th anneversary of my 35th birthday this past Halloween last month(meaning I just turned 50), and I knew I was all girl from my very early childhood. So again, it's never too late. :)

Ally ;)