Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I know everyone's reasons for going against the chop is different, and mine is the dilating part. I was a little concerned when I heard that the va-jay could close up forever (is that even true?)

If you continuously dilate how long would you have to dilate for before you rarely or don't have to do it again? Or is it something that must be done frequently? (In other words you have to find time for it in your daily schedule?)

It's really frustrating trying to get simple answers like this from documentaries, YouTube, or the internet in General because no one has seemed to think of stating whether it's a permanent thing or not, and it's not just dilating, it's all kinds if information to do with people getting the full change. Just chunks of information left out.

Last thing I need is for me to sleep at others houses and them thinking I have sex toys in the future - if they so happen to find the dilators -.-


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From what I understand dilation is a permanent thing, the frequency does drop though. I believe that after a while you only need to dilate once every week or two depending on different factors.

Yes, it's required for life, in theory. Some women apparently do give up dilating after many years and suffer no ill effects, but that's never guaranteed. Yes, it is also possible for the vaginal canal to heal closed, though I think it's more common to simply lose depth to the point that it's basically just a "dimple" instead of a vagina. However, that's more likely early on; by a few months post-op most people have a better sense of their own body, and how long they can put off dilation in an emergency, etc.

However, by two years post-op I was down to once a week for 15 minutes, which isn't bad. I spend a lot more time doing the dishes. :) I'm fairly sure that by now I could wait a bit longer than that, if I really needed to - so if I were spending, say, 10 days as a houseguest, I'd probably leave the dilators home. (But if you don't, hey, plenty of women *do* travel with discreet sex toys...) I'm happy to answer any other questions you have, too, because you're right that the info out there intended for cis people is woefully incomplete for us.

Every surgeon's dilation schedule is different, though. I hear Bowers requires daily dilation forever, for example.

That's a pity, because it seems more like a chore to have a va-jay than a ding-dong. Though bulges are a chore themselves....

The problem is that I'm not a sexual person and the last thing I need is for someone to find any dilators I have. I'd die of embarrassment and depending whether or not they know that I'm a transgender, it'll be hard to explain why on earth I have them.


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There's always the option of a cosmetic v j. No dilation required.

What's cosmetic like? Pros and Cons?


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Pros:
Cheaper
Lower maintenance

Cons:
No vaginal canal
No penetrative sex
No option to add depth later (depending)

The cosmetic version is functionally identical to the standard, too - external vulva, urethra reroute, clitoris, etc. - just no vaginal depth.

It really isn't a major chore now, though. I spend 15 minutes with a book or TV show and done for the week.

Maybe sounds funny but I miss my OMG some now that I am down to every 5th day.

It's never sexual just seems a part of life.

Anyway you always have to pay to play.

I'm guessing I'm naive about this and I understand dilation can be painful at times, but I don't get how it's a chore.  I would think it would be pleasurable at least some of the time.  Am I missing something?

Paige :)

From a skin healing point of view, the skin should have settled after one year in it's permanent stage. This means that you can't alter it's shape permanently anymore, which also means that any scar tissue will remain for life. Unless forcefully removed. So I guess after one year, it means less dilating. Then it is only "maintenance".

A girl I know, lost 3 inches over 4 years after she quit dilating permanently after 1 year. She never tried to regain, so I do not know if it is possible to get it back. Would be interesting to know if it is possible.

Paige : Some women seem to enjoy it. For me personally, it's not sexual or pleasurable at all, probably because it began with all the medical connotations. Just 15 minutes of sticking a hard plastic thing in there and thinking about what to have for dinner. ;)

Now, it's also possible to substitute an instance of sex for dilation, according to Brassard... and I've done that (albeit with my wife, but using an appropriate toy). Even then, though, it's not as much fun if I have to schedule it for "we need a minimum of 15 minutes sometime next Tuesday!"

Quote from: Paige on November 27, 2014, 05:54:05 PM
I'm guessing I'm naive about this and I understand dilation can be painful at times, but I don't get how it's a chore.  I would think it would be pleasurable at least some of the time.  Am I missing something?

Paige :)

I didn't get it either until I had surgery. Let me try to explain at least from my personal perspective,  originally I went in thinking "it can't be that bad" ,  than after surgery came dilating sessions,  which were definitely not on the fun side and I remember after the initial dilation I was looking at the larger size dilators thinking Omg that is going to hurt and not imagining how it was going to fit. When originally (before surgery) when I saw them I thought "those aren't that big"  the chore part usually stems from having to do the dilations 3 to 5 times a day for a year to two,  so I imagine you could see how this might become feeling like a chore especially with a rock hard solid plastic thing stuck inside you for anywhere between 15 minutes to an hour,  mine was 3 times initially  at an hour for 8 weeks than twice a day at an hour for the rest of the year,  Yea it goes down but you never forget the journey and as for pleasurable well,  it's kinda hard (at least for me)  to become aroused from a hard plastic inanimate object. Hopefully this gives you some idea.
To the OP it's been over a year for me and I dilate anywhere between 2 to 5 times a week depending but I do dilate at 30 min to an hour, while to me this isn't that bad I had accepted this and actually worse,  having vj is definitely higher Maintenance and if you aren't prepared to make sacrifices and schedule adjustments then you prob shouldn't have surgery. At least not yet.  I hope this helps

Quote from: calico on November 27, 2014, 10:47:05 PM
I didn't get it either until I had surgery. Let me try to explain at least from my personal perspective,  originally I went in thinking "it can't be that bad" ,  than after surgery came dilating sessions,  which were definitely not on the fun side and I remember after the initial dilation I was looking at the larger size dilators thinking Omg that is going to hurt and not imagining how it was going to fit. When originally (before surgery) when I saw them I thought "those aren't that big"  the chore part usually stems from having to do the dilations 3 to 5 times a day for a year to two,  so I imagine you could see how this might become feeling like a chore especially with a rock hard solid plastic thing stuck inside you for anywhere between 15 minutes to an hour,  mine was 3 times initially  at an hour for 8 weeks than twice a day at an hour for the rest of the year,  Yea it goes down but you never forget the journey and as for pleasurable well,  it's kinda hard (at least for me)  to become aroused from a hard plastic inanimate object. Hopefully this gives you some idea.
To the OP it's been over a year for me and I dilate anywhere between 2 to 5 times a week depending but I do dilate at 30 min to an hour, while to me this isn't that bad I had accepted this and actually worse,  having vj is definitely higher Maintenance and if you aren't prepared to make sacrifices and schedule adjustments then you prob shouldn't have surgery. At least not yet.  I hope this helps

Yes that helps explain it quite a bit.  Thanks Calico.

Paige :)

Quote from: Jenna Marie on November 27, 2014, 09:32:30 PM
Paige : Some women seem to enjoy it. For me personally, it's not sexual or pleasurable at all, probably because it began with all the medical connotations. Just 15 minutes of sticking a hard plastic thing in there and thinking about what to have for dinner. ;)

Now, it's also possible to substitute an instance of sex for dilation, according to Brassard... and I've done that (albeit with my wife, but using an appropriate toy). Even then, though, it's not as much fun if I have to schedule it for "we need a minimum of 15 minutes sometime next Tuesday!"

Thanks for the information Jenna Marie.  Nothing seems to be easy in the transgender world.

Paige :)

Thanks for the information everyone! This has helped me a lot, but I suppose I better research more in this topic. Thanks again :).

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Just a FYI to OP the use of your wording to describe the GCS process is way out of line and realistic.

Many find that reference triggering/disrespectful.

I would suggest you do more research on the medical procedures involved.

Thank you

Mrs Izzy

Sorry Mrs Izzy, I got a bit carried away in my post. I redoing my post right now.


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Vagina's definitely require more maintenance than a penis does, even when you don't have monthly bleeding to deal with.  UTI's are also something to be aware of all the time.

  I'd like to ask a related question to all with experience - How on earth did you handle fitting in the frequency and duration of your 1st-year dilations within you work schedule.  In the coming year I may need to start discussions with HR about how we can make it work.

Quote from: Violet Bloom on November 28, 2014, 03:22:13 PM
  I'd like to ask a related question to all with experience - How on earth did you handle fitting in the frequency and duration of your 1st-year dilations within you work schedule.  In the coming year I may need to start discussions with HR about how we can make it work.

for me I was off work 8 weeks so it made the 3 times a days easier, when I went back to work I basically got up earlier, went to bed later and lots of caffeine.

Violet : I only had to dilate 4x daily for 4 days after I returned to work, and for those days I came home during lunch to fit in a session. After that it was down to 3x daily, and that was doable if inconvenient (morning, afternoon after work, bedtime).  That lasted for 2 months, and at the beginning of month 4 I could go down to twice daily, which was not too bad (morning, bedtime). Starting in month 6 it was once daily, and at the one-year mark I started to reduce down to the once weekly that I now do.

So it was really only life-eating for the first month, then decreasingly inconvenient for five more months, then easy.

I am sorry for  who don't like dilatation, but I guess it is hundred times better have to dilate than to have a P#$%÷, which makes you feel much less feminine, gives you no peace and you must always hide an tuck! To be and feel full woman is wonderful but have its price and in my opinion dilatation is nothing comparing to the self steam and freedom feelings after the op!

Have no doubts, if I had to do it over 100+ times I'd do it those 100+ times, dilation is just one of those things accepted with it.

Quote from: calico on November 28, 2014, 10:26:37 PM
Have no doubts, if I had to do it over 100+ times I'd do it those 100+ times, dilation is just one of those things accepted with it.

I've got to agree with Calico. I've gotten to like it. It's very relaxing. It's time where I can sit back and relax. I can read, meditate, listen to music, or just chill out in front of the TV.

GeorgeE : I know that Brassard does it, but as far as I know he charges the same as he does for the other version (presumably because the majority of his cost is anesthesiologist, 2 surgeons, etc. and since his operations are very short regardless, there's not a huge savings in time or money by skipping that final step).  You can contact his office and ask directly, though.

I did not get an explicit cost estimate on that as I didn't want it, but my paperwork definitely had a place where I could have opted for the "no vaginal cavity" surgery. And I will say, even setting the vagina aside, the function and aesthetics of what he gave me are amazing...