Susan's Place Transgender Resources

As a complete closet case who've b/c of fear and shame avoided expressing my female side, looking all "male",
these moments are really rare, only happened a few times in my life but I still remember them to this day.

I feel silly for writing about these moments, but I just felt it would be interesting to hear if other "closeted" people
can relate to these type of moments, and how fantastic they can make you feel.

I remember one time I was patting my little nephew. He was sitting in the back of the car with my grandmother, and
I was sitting in the passenger's seat in front. My grandmother - in typical "very old person style" saying whatever comes to their mind :P - only seeing my hands - saying "What?? Was that your hands George?? I thought they were the hands of a woman!" Me: - "nope, it was me."  :D :D :D That was 3 years ago.

Another time I bought winter shoes and the cashier said they didn't have that size in male model but if I would be okay with it they had the female model. "They are really very much alike, she said, would that be okay?" Me: "Yeah, sure, Why not"  :) Feeling happy every time I used those shoes.

I've come out to two female friends recently. One of them told me I was "not manly" and that If I wanted to become a woman (like many cis persons she has no clue what you have to go through, thinking that a gender change can be made just by deciding to do so) she would support it and said in a SMS that I have a "very slender body" that would look good as a girl. :) I'm still so proud of hearing that :) :)

Hey,

I'm happy for you.  Find those moments and store them up.  If you decide to transition, you will need them. 

Me?  When I heard such things, I was ashamed, I was in denial.  It wasn't good.  But I used those moments during my transition for motivation.


Welcome to Susan's!!!

Hug,

Jen

I also have memories of the opposite.
"o my god look how well you can see the veins on your arms" and
"wow, I can see your adam's apple even across the room in that mirror"
O my god I was crying inside :(

Would a non-trans person feel so bad hearing those things? I dont think so (I'm still a somewhat lost soul on whether I am in fact trans or not)..

I don't think a non-trans person would like to hear the things you just described.  I think a normal male would like those things.

Are you in counseling??

For me, taking the step and going to counseling meant I needed to get a different point of view on my life, one that I couldn't get myself.

Hugs,

Jen

Quote from: JLT1 on November 30, 2014, 03:57:49 PM
I think a normal male would like those things.

What would a normal male like to hear? Sorry for being stupid, not understanding. You meant the adam's apple/vein thing?
O my god! I can't CONCEIVE a human being wanting to hear that they have a prominent adam's apple. How on earth can a person
like the presence of a tumour on their neck?

I am not in therapy. I have a long road ahead. I will book a time to a LGBT psychologist just to discuss sexuality in general, but unfortunately I will have to wait a few weeks until my first appointment. :)

Thanks for caring!!!! One can feel so terribly alone in all this! I do have a female friend who knows somewhat what I'm going through and I'm thankful for that, but you people are v important for me aswell. :) :)

Quote from: transtastic on November 30, 2014, 04:07:49 PM
You meant the adam's apple/vein thing?

O my god! I can't CONCEIVE a human being wanting to hear that they have a prominent adam's apple. How on earth can a person like the presence of a tumour on their neck?

Hey,

I know it sounds strange but I know more than one guy who was so proud of the prominent Adams apple.  It was a sign of maleness......


Hugs,

Jen

My wife told me I have the hands of a twenty year old! Now if only the rest of me didn't look 46 I'd be over the moon!