Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I wonder what you all think about this topic.

It seems to me, transition itself can be addictive.

Even before HRT, little things could help temporarily lift my dysphoria. Dressing up, coming out to friends and family... etc. These effects were always temporary. They did encourage me to do more.

Then HRT and coming out to the world, growing boobs and having fat store in new and squishy places, clothes, shoes, practicing presentation and all kinds of other stuff.

Of course, surgery can be a next step, and there are so many to choose from.

Transition is frightening and thrilling, and yet so many of us work to get to the other side. To put transition behind us.

And then, boring, depressing life is on the other side, just this time we are wearing bras and panties. Hopefully we have shed our dysphoric past.

I imagine there is a bit of a let down for some people once the excitement is all over and the new car smell has faded.

Boobs are cool and all. I grope myself like 437 times an hour. But the rest of the time,  mere seconds really, they are just there.

I dunno, this is a bit of a ramble but I thought I would post it to see if anybody had thoughts on the topic.

Aloha,
Tori

I think it becomes a bit of an obsession for some people and they are always working towards one thing or another. I know that's how it was for me the first time I tried, not so much this time around.

Yeah, that does not surprise me to hear coming from you.

I am pretty "Meh" about the whole thing lately. HRT lifted my dysphoria, and I am pretty happy with my current gender fluidity but I keep pressing towards female. Besides one surgery, I do not care too much about getting every physical detail perfect (I do want an innie). I am happy with what hormones are doing mentally and physically. Socially, transition may have been a good thing for me. I am making friends easily now.

Grrrr... Writing these new thoughts down is weird. Talking girl stuff and transition never seems to translate from brain to keypad quite as clearly as talking about guy stuff. I hope these posts make some sort of sense.

Quote from: Tori on December 10, 2014, 05:14:45 AM

I imagine there is a bit of a let down for some people once the excitement is all over and the new car smell has faded.

Boobs are cool and all. I grope myself like 437 times an hour.
Aloha,
Tori

Good subject  ;D

I think the first line would be true for some... personally when I get there I'll be a very happy and elated girly  :-*

The second, dunno not so sure  :laugh: that's a lot of sqeez'in

Love Katy

I take breaks from groping to type. :p

This is a good metaphor. I get addicted/obsessed easily and transition is one of those things. I think about it almost all the time (and grab my boobs almost as often) so I need to make an effort to think about something else.

I also think you're right that the excitement will sort of stumble once the transitioning process is over. Isn't it like this with anything that you look forward to? The waiting itself is almost more fun than the thing itself. So when I have the energy I try to make myself do something else that works for me. Like writing or drawing. Funnily enough these also tend to touch upon the topic... this will probably change but when, I don't know.

Quote from: Tori on December 10, 2014, 05:36:46 AM
I take breaks from groping to type. :p

Little secret, I used to too.... couldn't believe after all that time I had my own  :laugh:

L Katy

   Tori, I totally agree with you. At the start it is very addictive,you are always looking for answers on everything. Then as the journey progresses and you become more comfortable it eases up a bit and does just become an everyday thing. I am pretty close to the other side,or the end as some might call it, and my life before melt down was never really boring or depressing and I don't expect it to ever be that way post.The journey never really ends ,just goes into a different phase and becomes well,just plain living, the correct life as the person you really are.Yesterday I received my gender change letter and SRS letter just waiting on name change, the light at the end of the tunnel is growing brighter and looks like a big happy face.   :)  Patty.

When I first started transitioning I would get some serious anxiety at times when I felt  that my transition wasn't progressing. In the end I learnt to have some sort of goal to look forward to,  like a hair cut or buying a new dress ect. It didn't have to be soon but as long as it was on the calendar.

I agree its definitely addicting it is pretty much what I think about 75% of the time. that's not exaggerating.

I describe myself as having an addictive personality (known from very young which is one reason why I never started smoking - I'd probably have smoked myself to death by now if I ever had) and I totally agree that transition has taken over my mind - but in a way, it's allowed, it even *should* take up most of your runtime, at least to start with, from what I understand. My shrink told me it's the biggest change anyone will ever make in their life. But it's also why I've been careful to keep up with everything else in my life as well, keeping interested in my drama school aspirations and organising trips with friends has kept me that little bit more grounded in the outside world. I still talk about transition about 80% of the time but whenever there's an opportunity to talk about something else I try to take it.

I suspect that training as an actor and the potential (inevitable?) publicity that'll bring with it will keep things interesting and current long after I "finish" transitioning.

Always nice to meet a fellow actor.

:)

Lol yeah I'm totally addicted ;D, I look forward to my next shot like a junky  :laugh:

Oooooh! Good point.

Those shots work so fast! It is a rush of girl juice hitting the brain all at once.

My Doctor always schedules me first thing in the morning on a Monday, so he can start his week with a happy patient.

Well, I certainly can't stop transitioning, so I guess I must be an addict as well.   

Electrolysis... I just can't get enough of that rush.   Strap me down and turn that thing up to 11!!!

Quote from: Tori on December 10, 2014, 05:14:45 AM
Boobs are cool and all. I grope myself like 437 times an hour. But the rest of the time,  mere seconds really, they are just there.

XD ROFL!!!! This is the greatest thing I have ever read on here.

Quote from: Tori on December 10, 2014, 02:30:39 PM
Oooooh! Good point.

Those shots work so fast! It is a rush of girl juice hitting the brain all at once.

My Doctor always schedules me first thing in the morning on a Monday, so he can start his week with a happy patient.

Yeah shots are great, I get 2 every Monday, but I have to do mine myself.
haha ya should have seen me the first time, like 10 minutes later then JAB.
Good fun  ;D

E jabs... Sounds like a far better way, especially hearing about the girly feeling hits... Just a shame that my Dr is in an awkward spot makes it hard to drop in and regularly at that  :-\ maybe have to move closer  :laugh:

Still bringing massive grins on your boob comment Tori... Good job  :laugh:

L Katy

Stop making me reply! My hands have better things to do!  >:-)

Oh, that started immediately.

Quote from: Tori on December 10, 2014, 05:14:45 AM
I wonder what you all think about this topic.

It seems to me, transition itself can be addictive.

Boobs are cool and all. I grope myself like 437 times an hour. But the rest of the time,  mere seconds really, they are just there.

I dunno, this is a bit of a ramble but I thought I would post it to see if anybody had thoughts on the topic.

Aloha,
Tori

Boobs are cool! In my case I was groping more in the decades before HRT to try to get the damn things to grow. Stayed as flat as a board! No much of that after starting HRT and I did a self-exam two nights ago because I didn't do so for 8 months! I like my 40 B's.

Joelene

Quote from: Tori on December 10, 2014, 05:14:45 AM
I wonder what you all think about this topic.

It seems to me, transition itself can be addictive.

Even before HRT, little things could help temporarily lift my dysphoria. Dressing up, coming out to friends and family... etc. These effects were always temporary. They did encourage me to do more.

Then HRT and coming out to the world, growing boobs and having fat store in new and squishy places, clothes, shoes, practicing presentation and all kinds of other stuff.

Of course, surgery can be a next step, and there are so many to choose from.

Transition is frightening and thrilling, and yet so many of us work to get to the other side. To put transition behind us.

And then, boring, depressing life is on the other side, just this time we are wearing bras and panties. Hopefully we have shed our dysphoric past.

I imagine there is a bit of a let down for some people once the excitement is all over and the new car smell has faded.

Boobs are cool and all. I grope myself like 437 times an hour. But the rest of the time,  mere seconds really, they are just there.

I dunno, this is a bit of a ramble but I thought I would post it to see if anybody had thoughts on the topic.

Aloha,
Tori

Tori,

I think the way to avoid transition addiction is to keep a balanced life filled with other hobbies and interests. If transition is only one of many goals, then crossing it off your list will feel like the accomplishment it is rather than some sort of loss.

If transitioning begins taking over somebody's life, probably the thing to do would be to create a bucket list of sorts. And it probably shouldn't look like this:

– Bucket
– Bucket
– Bucket

If it looks like that, you're doing it wrong.

So, not just a list of buckets then?

Got it.

I think this is important as a topic. My (non-professional) opinion is that a lot of post-op depression is a result of "I've done everything and I'm still not happy" feelings. Transitioning doesn't solve the problems many of us carry, it doesn't pay the bills, it doesn't bring the next meal, it doesn't cure social anxiety or anything else you are carrying.

These things have to be dealt with during our transition, yes in my case my therapist has helped heaps with the baggage I carry, or carried, but I have tried to work on those issues knowing that if I am to be a happy woman I need to approach my gender dysphoria in a holistic sense. If I don't I will be a post trans woman with PTSD, I need to deal with the PTSD separately and seriously to be the woman I am and the woman I am going to be for the rest of my life.

Quote from: Joelene9 on December 11, 2014, 01:08:27 AM
  Boobs are cool! In my case I was groping more in the decades before HRT to try to get the damn things to grow. Stayed as flat as a board! No much of that after starting HRT and I did a self-exam two nights ago because I didn't do so for 8 months! I like my 40 B's.

Joelene

With you on that one!
Agreed that I do check for signs of unwanted lumps...

History  ::) I love my boobs too, so much better than years ago of using sticky tape to try and raise the flesh, or worse when I used to grab a bra and push socks or nylons into them  :laugh:

Ooh my how times have changed for the better.

L Katy

Addicted to becoming yourself seems to be a good thing to me. ;)

Quote from: Clhoe G on December 10, 2014, 02:04:03 PM
Lol yeah I'm totally addicted ;D, I look forward to my next shot like a junky  :laugh:

:P *Snifffff scratch scratch* hey! Got any E, E anyone?  *scratch scratch*  :laugh:

showering with boobs

I'll still be a grumpy, anti-social, sarcastic sod after transition...just with a better wardrobe.

And shower companions.

I'd like to have a:

-- Blue 5 gallon bucket
-- white 5 gallon bucket
-- 1 gallon bucket (any color)


Like that?



I've always heard that post transition most people discover they have a huge transition-shaped hole in their life.  And it makes sense.  It's like having a really important hobby that's no longer necessary...so what do I do now?

Quote from: katiej on December 11, 2014, 05:33:33 PM
I've always heard that post transition most people discover they have a huge transition-shaped hole in their life.  And it makes sense.  It's like having a really important hobby that's no longer necessary...so what do I do now?

Bass solo?

solve one of the unsolved math problems or what colors are representative in other dimensions or does gender exist outside of our own space time

There's always, you know, curing cancer.

Ooh, or macrame!

Quote from: Tori on December 10, 2014, 06:06:50 PM
Stop making me reply! My hands have better things to do!  >:-)

This thread has made me fall in love with you.

Take me, I'm yours!!

;D

Quote from: Wynternight on December 11, 2014, 09:12:04 PM
This thread has made me fall in love with you.

Take me, I'm yours!!

;D

:police:

Quote from: Jill F on December 11, 2014, 07:56:33 PM
Bass solo?

It's funny.  I've always loved girl bass players.  Now I am one!

Quote from: Sincerely Tegan on December 11, 2014, 08:19:16 PM
There's always, you know, curing cancer.

Ooh, or macrame!

Definitely macrame!

Quote from: stephaniec on December 11, 2014, 09:23:13 PM
:police:

**perk** Handcuffs?

Ok, I'll behave!!

I agree with Cindy here, and love the delightful banter  :icon_joy:

There is certainly a deeper thrill than just to transition and then what... I was thinking about that myself, its about perfection... I stood in front of my mirror and started lifting various parts of my face, the result was astounding (not that I have not done that before  :laugh:).

Its not about passing or being accepted, I think its about perfection, never having to doubt about how you look, its also about the commanding role you hold in your appearance... like if I look absolutely fantastic, every one will want to be me or be close to me...

Maybe I am a little off centre here, but, In my mind I have made a wishful bucket list... the obvious first:

Facial Hair (Laser/Electrolysis)..must
Voice therapeutics... voice training - minimally a must
Thorax reduction (adam's apple)... still there, and therefore a must

- Now here's where the order get cloudy

Leg and arm lasering
Yeson Voice pitch surgery
Nose Bridge reduction
Wrinkle removal (upper and lower lip, triggered by earlier years of smoking)
Face lift
SRS/GRS
Get off drugs ???? (use E implant)
Sky's the limit perfecting the rest like buttock implants, boobs etc, etc, etc....

Of course at my age I may no longer be on this earth to fulfil allor even enjoy it all....

Funnily I was talking with my Dermatologist the other day, asking about facial laser treatment and reduction of wrinkles, sun damage etc.... I honestly said; "that years ago I said I would get old gracefully" then as it transpires 'HELL NO', I am not and do not want to get old gracefully, now whether I can afford perfection or not is another thing, and that's where moderation will come in, I suspect I will not go down GRS/SRS...unless of course I look knockout in the future and I become a cougar  :laugh:

I think that most of us want to look great, it becomes a question on what is 'my acceptance' criteria... of course striving for perfection also becomes a drug in its self and..... but there is nothing wrong with wanting to look your best, just beware of the horror stories  ;)

Just the ramblings of.... my mind

L Katy  :-*

Kind of in line with this I guess but does anyone else walk around kind of smiling in that "I know something you don't know" kind of way?

There's this massive part of my life that most of the world doesn't yet know about and I'm still trying to process all of it.

I simply find myself doing what most women do who want to look pretty and look their best. I don't think that's being addictive, it's being a woman. Truthfully, I never liked just stepping into Levi's and a t-shirt. I love girl things because that's how my mom still is at 86, puts on her makeup every morning, like mother, like daughter. I'm far more concerned about my health problems and three serious surgeries BESIDES SRS. I just broke up with the only man I've ever been in love with and sometimes I wonder if I'm going to survive it, I hurt so badly. That's where the vast majority of my thoughts and energy go to now, I'd marry him in a second and he no longer knows what he wants. I think he's embarrassed that he's in love with a transgendered woman. He intimates that maybe things will be different after I get my gender changed. This just sucks.

My heart goes out to you, Miranda.

Transition is addictive in a manner of speaking (to me). Transition has taught me, more than ever, than setting goals then working towards them actually produces results. So I've begun to set post-transition goals. I always wanted to travel and never did. Now I will. I've always wanted to live on the west coast. Now I am making plans to relocate that direction.

That's the lesson transition taught me - if I want something, go after it. Don't wait for things to change the way you wish; make them happen.

There's a saying - "The best way to predict the future is to create it." I am finding this to be very true.

Wynternight, you make me blush.

LizMarie, you have touched upon something there. I find transition addictive BUT addiction to doing good things for myself. Weeeeee!

It's addictive like antibiotics are addictive.  You gotta do it to get healthy.  It's never felt like an addiction to me at all.

I hear you. "Addiction" can bring some negativive images to mind.

I think Cindy really nailed it. It is a chance to work through a lot of issues, not just trans issues.

Life for any person is transitional. They do not have to be trans to transition into adulthood or maturity.

I think the years of self improvement during transition can be addictive in the best way and may catapult a person into continuing to do good things for their self even after they have cleared the MTF to do list.