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Title: Late introduction
Post by: transtastic on December 13, 2014, 01:33:17 PM
Post by: transtastic on December 13, 2014, 01:33:17 PM
I wrote a long windng post, but I basically wrote down my whole
life and didn't want to post all of that here. Still, I feel I'm
getting so much from this forum that I should be giving something
back and at least introduce myself. You are all my heroes. And I
think we are all some of society's heroes. Everything is changing
fast. There is a revolution. The clear distinctions between female
and male, feminine and masculine are disappearing fast, and at
the forefront of this revolution are transgender persons. :)
Growing up I never thought about being or becoming a girl. It was
more that I hated myself. I came out as gay. Didn't quite connect
with other gay persons. Started crossdressing. Got caught. Stupid
#ยค(/# colleague started spreading rumours about me. Was suicidal.
Nothing much happened. Don't know what has happened to those rumours,
just know that they were very nasty (and very much true). I don't
think I've ruined my career but the thought of it still jumps at me
every other day and instantly gives me a panic attack.
I would like to move more towards femininity, but I feel that those
rumours are making it more difficult. I always read people saying
that you can change your hairstyle, fix your nails etc. and noone
will notice it. Problem is, people WOULD notice it on me due to all
that gossip. I feel like that son-of-a-bitch robbed me of my
experimenting phase.
Anyway, I'm still waiting to see a gender therapist. It feels like
I'm in some sort of haze all the time. I've come out to a female
friend of mine, she is supportive, but she is also a very busy person.
I feel so isolated in all this. It feels like I've forever damaged
my "male" reputation. I've gone too far to go back, and I've put
myself in a tricky situation which makes it very hard for me to
go forward. I'd like to just move and start all over but various
commitments make that impossible for at least a few years.
I'm approaching 30. My brother is older than me, looks very much alike.
But I can see how the testosterone has made his jaw line more prominent.
Looks more masculine. I don't want to become like that. :( :(
life and didn't want to post all of that here. Still, I feel I'm
getting so much from this forum that I should be giving something
back and at least introduce myself. You are all my heroes. And I
think we are all some of society's heroes. Everything is changing
fast. There is a revolution. The clear distinctions between female
and male, feminine and masculine are disappearing fast, and at
the forefront of this revolution are transgender persons. :)
Growing up I never thought about being or becoming a girl. It was
more that I hated myself. I came out as gay. Didn't quite connect
with other gay persons. Started crossdressing. Got caught. Stupid
#ยค(/# colleague started spreading rumours about me. Was suicidal.
Nothing much happened. Don't know what has happened to those rumours,
just know that they were very nasty (and very much true). I don't
think I've ruined my career but the thought of it still jumps at me
every other day and instantly gives me a panic attack.
I would like to move more towards femininity, but I feel that those
rumours are making it more difficult. I always read people saying
that you can change your hairstyle, fix your nails etc. and noone
will notice it. Problem is, people WOULD notice it on me due to all
that gossip. I feel like that son-of-a-bitch robbed me of my
experimenting phase.
Anyway, I'm still waiting to see a gender therapist. It feels like
I'm in some sort of haze all the time. I've come out to a female
friend of mine, she is supportive, but she is also a very busy person.
I feel so isolated in all this. It feels like I've forever damaged
my "male" reputation. I've gone too far to go back, and I've put
myself in a tricky situation which makes it very hard for me to
go forward. I'd like to just move and start all over but various
commitments make that impossible for at least a few years.
I'm approaching 30. My brother is older than me, looks very much alike.
But I can see how the testosterone has made his jaw line more prominent.
Looks more masculine. I don't want to become like that. :( :(
Title: Re: Late introduction
Post by: LauraSpiral on December 13, 2014, 02:23:39 PM
Post by: LauraSpiral on December 13, 2014, 02:23:39 PM
Thank you for sharing your story <3 I'm really glad this forum is helping you, and I want you to know that I'm always here for you if you need things <3
Title: Re: Late introduction
Post by: mrs izzy on December 13, 2014, 05:30:47 PM
Post by: mrs izzy on December 13, 2014, 05:30:47 PM
Transtastic
Late welcome to Susan's family.(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sherv.net%2Fcm%2Femoticons%2Fbugs%2Fbutterfly-smiley-emoticon.gif&hash=55ebfb136b45eac8ba9632f37111f98067fc3aa6) (http://www.sherv.net/)
There are a few here that should have information to help.
Pull up a chair and give a look over the following links for site info...(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sherv.net%2Fcm%2Femoticons%2Fobject%2Fchair-3-smiley-emoticon-emoji.png&hash=f6de189a088518c5de131e0c9ce29661e7a52a55) (http://www.sherv.net/)
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Izzy
Forum News: new for our members under 18 a new safe place just for you. Youth talk.
Late welcome to Susan's family.(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sherv.net%2Fcm%2Femoticons%2Fbugs%2Fbutterfly-smiley-emoticon.gif&hash=55ebfb136b45eac8ba9632f37111f98067fc3aa6) (http://www.sherv.net/)
There are a few here that should have information to help.
Pull up a chair and give a look over the following links for site info...(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sherv.net%2Fcm%2Femoticons%2Fobject%2Fchair-3-smiley-emoticon-emoji.png&hash=f6de189a088518c5de131e0c9ce29661e7a52a55) (http://www.sherv.net/)
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Izzy
Forum News: new for our members under 18 a new safe place just for you. Youth talk.
Title: Re: Late introduction
Post by: Gina Taylor on December 15, 2014, 09:39:59 AM
Post by: Gina Taylor on December 15, 2014, 09:39:59 AM
Hi and welcome to Susan's! :)
Title: Re: Late introduction
Post by: gennee on December 16, 2014, 11:45:48 AM
Post by: gennee on December 16, 2014, 11:45:48 AM
Hello Transtastic and welcome to Susan's. Thank you for sharing your story.
:)
:)
Title: Re: Late introduction
Post by: V M on December 21, 2014, 09:01:45 PM
Post by: V M on December 21, 2014, 09:01:45 PM
Hi Transtastic :icon_wave:
Welcome to Susan's :) Glad to have you here, join on in the fun
Hugs
V M
Welcome to Susan's :) Glad to have you here, join on in the fun
Hugs
V M
Title: Re: Late introduction
Post by: Devlyn on January 02, 2015, 05:46:27 PM
Post by: Devlyn on January 02, 2015, 05:46:27 PM
Hi Transtastic, welcome to Susan's Place! I live near Boston. I'm glad you're enjoying the site. See you around the forums!
Hugs, Devlyn
Hugs, Devlyn
Title: Re: Late introduction
Post by: stephaniec on January 02, 2015, 06:03:25 PM
Post by: stephaniec on January 02, 2015, 06:03:25 PM
Bienvenue
Title: Re: Late introduction
Post by: Catherine Sarah on January 03, 2015, 08:18:05 AM
Post by: Catherine Sarah on January 03, 2015, 08:18:05 AM
Hi transtastic,
A big Aussie welcome to Susan's family. It's good of you to drop in and say "Hi". Hope you like it here, and you stay for a while.
There is a mountain of information, resources and friendship waiting for you here, you just need to jump in start talking and ask any question you like. You're quite safe here and we are very accepting.
Good to see you've booked in with a therapist. That will put you off to a great start with the right information.
Looking forward to hearing more of your story in time to come, but in the meantime, be safe, well and happy.
Lotsa huggs
Catherine
A big Aussie welcome to Susan's family. It's good of you to drop in and say "Hi". Hope you like it here, and you stay for a while.
There is a mountain of information, resources and friendship waiting for you here, you just need to jump in start talking and ask any question you like. You're quite safe here and we are very accepting.
Good to see you've booked in with a therapist. That will put you off to a great start with the right information.
Looking forward to hearing more of your story in time to come, but in the meantime, be safe, well and happy.
Lotsa huggs
Catherine