Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Hello! I am quite young (14,15 soon) and I live in the USA if it helps with these questions!

1.What is the policy of getting T? I know you usually have to go to a Gender Therapist for about a year to get a letter,
but don't know how the process exactly works. Also I don't know if it matters but I have been going to a regular therapist
for about 6-7 years. Please can anyone explain?

2. School. It is a big problem for me but I have 2 BEST friends I know I can tell that will be 100% ok with it, and
it would be so easier if I had classes with them but I don't. Only see them at the beginning of the day in the highschools commons until
the bell rings and after almost each class. My student counselor and principal are very supportive even letting me use
the Male bathroom back in the office. We also have 1 transgender girl who is out to the whole school. I am not out at all to the student body.

3. Name. I was young and picked a nice name I used for my character in my head Max, I really love the name but thing is
it happens to be my sisters dogs name  :embarrassed:. So theres a problem but the school and my friends call me Max
and the school even lets me write it on all my work and even will be my name or the Yearbook! But you can
obviously see the problem with my name and the family....

Sorry for wall of text I still have many questions and I'm sorry if I get annoying but I have no one who really gets it...yaknow?
All help appreciated and thanks for your valued time!

First, if you are under 18, you shouldn't post your age. It's against the rules, so you should edit that out. You can just say you're a minor.

1. There's two options. But one you have to be 18. So for you, the process would be going to a gender therapist (no time requirement) and making sure your parents are on board. The therapist after a few sessions or maybe longer depending on the therapist and you, can write you a letter for T to bring to an endocrinologist who works with trans patients. [This does not HAVE to be a gender therapist, I have had friends get letters from their normal therapists. The therapist had to learn how to write the letter, but they are still qualified to do it.] With parental permission, you can start T. Most doctors require you to be 16, however, you may be able to get on hormone blockers or find a doctor who prescribes younger. I've heard of guys as young as 14 getting on T. Depending on who you can find the requirements can range from 14 to 18. The other option, where you have to be 18, is to go through informed consent. Some doctors make you sign papers saying you understand the effects of hormones, the doctor talks to you about that, then you get to start. You basically sign a document saying that you know full well that these changes will or will not occur on hormones, so you can't get mad at the doctor and try to sue them or anything. No gender therapist needed here, you just go straight to the hormones.

2. After reading your whole post I'm a little confused- does everyone at school use Max? Are you stealth right now, or do most people use female name/pronouns? Well I guess Max is a gender neutral name. Could you explain your situation further?

3. If it is a name you love, you should go for it. If your family has issues with it, perhaps they can use Maxwell or whatever longer version you like, or they could use whatever you'd like your middle name to be? It's not unusual for family to use one name while non-family or friends use another. Some families prefer the full or formal versions of names, or they use first names when people prefer their middle, so it wouldn't be unusual if others heard them using a different name.

If you have other questions, feel free to ask! We are here to help :)

No need now to edit age. I will move it to the teen talk area.

I am guessing your parents are on your support side and are helping.

But blockers can be given younger then 18 if everyone is on board with your transition.

Ie: parents, doctor, therapist and endo.

hello there! hopefully i can answer some of your questions :)

1. as far as i know, the youngest you can get T is at 16 and that's with parental consent and depending on your state laws as well, I believe. Also, getting a letter for T reallyyy depends on the therapist you go to. I went to a social worker who works mainly with trans people preparing to go on HRT. I went in for one session (paid $100 for it) and he gave me the letter (which was another $100) and that was that. I gave it to my endo and that was good enough for her. I'm 20, so I'm a bit older than you. I'm not sure if you can find a therapist who would give you a letter so quickly, but I don't think it would take a year's worth of therapy to get a letter. But again, this depends on your therapist and the variety of therapists where you live. (If you live in a small, southern town...good luck). Your current therapist may or may not be willing to write a T letter for you. I would definitely bring it up with them. If you've been having dysphoria for awhile and you've talked about that with your therapist, that'll definitely help your case.

2. Oh man, high school can be rough! I can't really speak so much about school...I went to an all girls school (yikes!) and I left to be homeschooled when I was about your age. I started college at 17 and I didn't start transitioning until then. College is generally more relaxed, so it wasn't as big of a deal. If they're letting you use the male bathroom and there's a trans girl at your school, I'd say you're already pretty lucky. Personally I never had a big "coming out", I just started presenting as male and corrected people when they used "she" pronouns with me. No one really questioned it. I think in your situation, though, I'd try to set up a time to talk with your friends about it so they know and just start being you.

3. If you identify with that name, go for it! I changed my name a couple of times when I first started transitioning (my username on here is ryanjoseph, but I go by Andrew now haha). I think if you're already going by Max and you feel comfortable with it, don't worry about it too much.

Thanks for all the messages guys! I'll be a bit more specific but I will be a careful with my age didn't know about the youth board!(Sorry
Mrs.Izzy!) But we used to be military so we had a lot of stuff covered like my therapy but we got switched to standard so we are trying
currently to get it back to prime so they pay for therapy at least.. My family cannot homeschool me as my mother is very ill and there
isn't anything we can do to improve her and my family is medically retired. My close family is supportive, but my mom is the only one
who really tries, but like I said very ill... My papi and sister don't mind but my papi is Hispanic so his culture says a big no. He still
supports and loves me though but cannot see me as his son until I go Full through all the procedures. My sister is awkward and
hates talking about it, I don't think she really can accept change or want for me to change. She is kinda supportive. The only people I can talk to
is you guys, my therapist and my mom..

Replying to Dean everyone except my sister and her friends, papi, sometimes my mom uses Max. My school uses it for everything they legally can,
like I said even the yearbook. I use female pronouns because I don't know how to really go through my transition at school. It really limits me and has a bad effect on my school work because I can barely keep myself together. But if I could be myself I know I could be doing so much better.
My school is mixed but they separate us for a lot of things and it really hurts though. My highschool says you can push back some classes until your
senior year which I'm hoping to do!
Thanks again for all the help!  :)

I'm in the same boat as you my friend, except for the fact that I'm MTF. I also go to an all male school, which sucks. I'm a "normal" guy to everyone bar this forum and one of my friends I knew would be totally fine, and she was. Anyhow, good luck, Max! All the best, Natty (Natalie)

Quote from: fitzyfoop on December 13, 2014, 04:32:39 PM
I'm in the same boat as you my friend, except for the fact that I'm MTF. I also go to an all male school, which sucks. I'm a "normal" guy to everyone bar this forum and one of my friends I knew would be totally fine, and she was. Anyhow, good luck, Max! All the best, Natty (Natalie)

Thanks Natalie!
Best wishes!

Max

If you try planned parenthood i know they have help for the ftm that are youths.

Could be a starting point. Even just for support network.

Lots of luck Master Maxwell.

Quote from: mrs izzy on December 13, 2014, 04:45:16 PM
Max

If you try planned parenthood i know they have help for the ftm that are youths.

Could be a starting point. Even just for support network.

Lots of luck Master Maxwell.

:D. Who exactly is planned parenthood and how can they help me Mrs.?

I cracked up when I read your last post Max, because I just thought "Oh man, he's pulling the english kid's missus(Mrs) card". Sorry that this is kinda off topic

Planned parenthood is for young females to get education on sex, birth control and teen pregnancy support.

They also have helped ftm in there transition.

http://www.plannedparenthood.org/

They are in the USA, Canada and other counties.

Quote from: fitzyfoop on December 13, 2014, 04:50:26 PM
I cracked up when I read your last post Max, because I just thought "Oh man, he's pulling the english kid's missus(Mrs) card". Sorry that this is kinda off topic

Nice I could make you laugh! :laugh: Just wanted to not seem rude to Mrs.Izzy So she doesn't think im some snotty  kid.. yaknow? :angel:
(p.s thanks for the link Mrs. Izzy will check them out! Do they have support groups with actual face to face other transgender kids I could talk to?

Max,

You will have to check each local office to see what they have available.

Quote from: mrs izzy on December 13, 2014, 05:05:16 PM
Max,

You will have to check each local office to see what they have available.

Thanks! :) But my mother is ill so she can't really take me and my papi probably wouldn't like going there.... Do you know or
have any experience what it's like going there for the first time?

Max, could you give me some advice on comin out to parents? Considering you're my age I think you'd be my best bet, although you said something about going to a therapist, I suspect that had something to do with your parents knowing? Anyway, if you would, I'll take all the advice I can get, thanks, Natty

They are for youth or younger adults so they understand.

They also care for and offer education to the lgbtq community.

http://www.plannedparenthood.org/teens/lgbtq

They offer lots of free services.

Quote from: fitzyfoop on December 13, 2014, 05:12:48 PM
Max, could you give me some advice on comin out to parents? Considering you're my age I think you'd be my best bet, although you said something about going to a therapist, I suspect that had something to do with your parents knowing? Anyway, if you would, I'll take all the advice I can get, thanks, Natty

Well I probably aint best suited to tell you on how to do this and I don't know your situation... so I'll just tell you how I did it. probably very risky.
So I went to a therapist near 7ish because I actually told my mom I was suicidal so the very next day she got me my therapist. I went to her for about till I was 11ish and I told my mother I felt like a boy. Next day we told my therapist who -luckily- was very open with it even if she wasn't very
knowledgeable about the topic really. Fast forward to my current age 14 almost 15 in 3 months and my sister my mother told. I told my papi
I had a huge secret to tell him. But he actually figured it out with out me telling him. I'm guessing because I've always been his 'little side kick'
and wearing guy clothes he sorta figured it out...  I'm currently trying to figure out how to tell my biological father.
What situation are you in? If you wanna tell me ofcourse.  :)

Quote from: mrs izzy on December 13, 2014, 05:16:45 PM
They are for youth or younger adults so they understand.

They also care for and offer education to the lgbtq community.

http://www.plannedparenthood.org/teens/lgbtq

They offer lots of free services.

Thanks tons! I will check them out and what they have to offer.

Quote from: Maxwell on December 13, 2014, 05:22:14 PM
Thanks tons! I will check them out and what they have to offer.

I wish you the best at your life's path.

Quote from: mrs izzy on December 13, 2014, 05:32:45 PM
I wish you the best at your life's path.

You too. ;D

Well, right now, I'm 13 going 14 in 10 days(I got really unlucky) about 5'9", I have a really deep voice(I'm dysphoric on that front), have broad shoulders(ditto). Ok well, I have no-idea if my family and friends are transphobic, well I know at least one of my friends isn't(I came out to her today) but that's about it. I live in Ireland, not the States(you said high school, I assumed that meant you live in the States). I'm trying to get myself to come out, like sometimes the thought just hits me, randomly, and I want to, but I can't..

Quote from: fitzyfoop on December 13, 2014, 05:34:30 PM
Well, right now, I'm 13 going 14 in 10 days(I got really unlucky) about 5'9", I have a really deep voice(I'm dysphoric on that front), have broad shoulders(ditto). Ok well, I have no-idea if my family and friends are transphobic, well I know at least one of my friends isn't(I came out to her today) but that's about it. I live in Ireland, not the States(you said high school, I assumed that meant you live in the States). I'm trying to get myself to come out, like sometimes the thought just hits me, randomly, and I want to, but I can't..

Honestly your height and shoulders would be VERY normal in the states. Especially in my highschool where the girls are MUCH larger than the boys
you would actually be on the smaller side :). Also your voice usually sounds deeper to you because of how our skulls are shaped. It probably
sounds normal to people. I also have a transgender aunt in my family, so. I would watch some news with them, or tell them you have a cute
gay couple in your school and see how they react to that then probably go on from their reaction. But I knew my mother was more accepting,
you might be able to tell and she is Christian.Ya never know who will really be the most accecpting, you might even be surprised! ;D
Don't forget I'll always be here if ya need me!

Hey Maxwell, glad you found the way over to the youth board :)

Quote from: adrian on December 14, 2014, 01:36:47 AM
Hey Maxwell, glad you found the way over to the youth board :)

Yup, hey can you answer any of my questions? I'd be a great help.
Or any advice will be great too. :)

Informed consent in the states is where you start T minus the therapy, but you'll have to go with your parents under 18. Should be able to start at 16, hormone blockers you should be able to start whenever (but I don't know the policy on those).

I know it can seem like forever and it's hard waiting, but try to be patient because the wait will be so worth it!

I know your situation, I'm 15 ( oldie, I know ;) ) and it's not as easy as everyone makes it out to be. Good luck with your parents, I hope it all works out, seeing that they have the say on hormone treatment and I think in the US therapy too.

If you, or of course anyone else who needs it, PM me for a chat. It's always open :)

-Matthew

Quote from: Maxwell on December 14, 2014, 07:33:55 AM
Yup, hey can you answer any of my questions? I'd be a great help.
Or any advice will be great too. :)

I think I'm a bit too old to be of a lot of help [emoji12].

As for the name, you shouldn't feel compelled to choose another one just because of the dog. Maybe your sis can rename him to Max Too :D.

Actually, a colleague of mine named herself after her grandmother's dachshund. She claims the dog was trans* as well ;).

As for school -- would you be able to speak to the transgirl to see how she approached everything? Also, is there something like a gay-straight alliance? They may not be the perfect "fit" for a trans*person, but they might be a place to look for support.

Quote from: adrian on December 14, 2014, 08:21:44 AM
I think I'm a bit too old to be of a lot of help [emoji12].

As for the name, you shouldn't feel compelled to choose another one just because of the dog. Maybe your sis can rename him to Max Too :D.

Actually, a colleague of mine named herself after her grandmother's dachshund. She claims the dog was trans* as well ;).

As for school -- would you be able to speak to the transgirl to see how she approached everything? Also, is there something like a gay-straight alliance? They may not be the perfect "fit" for a trans*person, but they might be a place to look for support.

My highschool is quite big. About 1,500 students.(We are actually over-capacity) All I know is this guy who is in my class said hi to her
and said something about her being trans. That class is quite open and they defended her saying something about how the guy wasn't
saying anything bad about her and how she was really cool. I haven't met her. Also I don't think my school has anything like a gay alliance
we do have some gay kids.(a lot actually).
Thanks about the name. :) But we have had our two Chihuahuas for about 7 years so there's no possibility of that. I have though about a
few other names but I figure it is really late in the school year to change it. It would be a big hassle yaknow? Fawn. I know it's kinda a werid name
and a little feminine but I really really like it.  :embarrassed:

No one is too old to give advice btw. And the dachshund being trans* really made my day. Thanks. ;D

Heck, if you like it you go with it! I chose Natalie because I like the name.

Quote from: Matthew on December 14, 2014, 07:45:22 AM
Informed consent in the states is where you start T minus the therapy, but you'll have to go with your parents under 18. Should be able to start at 16, hormone blockers you should be able to start whenever (but I don't know the policy on those).

I know it can seem like forever and it's hard waiting, but try to be patient because the wait will be so worth it!

I know your situation, I'm 15 ( oldie, I know ;) ) and it's not as easy as everyone makes it out to be. Good luck with your parents, I hope it all works out, seeing that they have the say on hormone treatment and I think in the US therapy too.

If you, or of course anyone else who needs it, PM me for a chat. It's always open :)

-Matthew

No one is too old. Actually I'm about to turn 15 in 3 months.  :D I do have a therapist of 7 years about. But I don't know if I have to also get a
Gender therapist .. Also ALL advice appreciated! ;D

Quote from: fitzyfoop on December 14, 2014, 09:32:13 AM
Heck, if you like it you go with it! I chose Natalie because I like the name.

Yes, I think your name will fit you fabulously! But as a more female name people will be like "Oh! Finally being a girl?"
At my school I am trying to be boyish and if I do anything girly they will just stereotype me.. But all my close friends
are gay so it's quite normal for me to be feminine. Infact I have been Glitter attacked 2 times last week and my friend
even threw confetti on me at the beginning of the day!( I have no idea where she gets it) The janitor must really hate
us. I proved a point to some guy in my Automotive classes because when I shook my hair(Which is short BTW)
A TON of glitter rained down on the desk! WHOOPS! ;D

But also Max (the name I'm currently trying to use) the school identify my with on anything they legally can.
They let me write it down on all my classwork and homework. It will be Max in the yearbook. ALL of my
teachers use it. And so does the student body. So it would be REALLY hard to change yaknow? :-\

Yes, but everyone who knows me, bar you and this forum, knows me as Michael, not Natalie, so that's gonna be hard too, you could just say "Look I'm undecided on what I want to go by so call me (insert name) until I choose a name to go with, ok? Thanks." I'd say people would understand because pretty much everyone would be like that. Myself included, I'm not 100% on Natalie, like I might go with Siobhán(shi-vawn) or Violet or some other name. I'm still not sure. I'm probably gonna draw up a list....

For some reason, I'm trying to find a name that would have an easily pronouncable abbreviation, such as Vi (Violet), Cori (Coriander), Jess (Jessica) etc

Quote from: fitzyfoop on December 14, 2014, 09:51:45 AM
Yes, but everyone who knows me, bar you and this forum, knows me as Michael, not Natalie, so that's gonna be hard too, you could just say "Look I'm undecided on what I want to go by so call me (insert name) until I choose a name to go with, ok? Thanks." I'd say people would understand because pretty much everyone would be like that. Myself included, I'm not 100% on Natalie, like I might go with Siobhán(shi-vawn) or Violet or some other name. I'm still not sure. I'm probably gonna draw up a list....

I looked up names by my birth year. I think your birth year is near 2001 correct? I looked up baby girl names in 2001 and got this.
http://www.babycenter.com/0_100-most-popular-baby-names-of-2001_1738056.bc
It's the first list. They are quite good but I chose Max because I daydream a lot and that was my characters name.  :laugh:
First  make a list of likeable names.I think you should also say it aloud.Second You can practice with ones that you are comfortable
with by talking to your friend your out to like I did with my mom. Go face to face with her or just call her and say "Hi I am Natalie"
or "Hi, I am 'insert name here.'" And then choose one or just narrow down the list with that.

Quote from: fitzyfoop on December 14, 2014, 09:55:07 AM
For some reason, I'm trying to find a name that would have an easily pronouncable abbreviation, such as Vi (Violet), Cori (Coriander), Jess (Jessica) etc

People are usually more attracted to easier names.  ;D

Quote from: Maxwell on December 14, 2014, 10:00:26 AM
I looked up names by my birth year. I think your birth year is near 2001 correct? I looked up baby girl names in 2001 and got this.
http://www.babycenter.com/0_100-most-popular-baby-names-of-2001_1738056.bc
It's the first list. They are quite good but I chose Max because I daydream a lot and that was my characters name.  :laugh:
First  make a list of likeable names.I think you should also say it aloud.Second You can practice with ones that you are comfortable
with by talking to your friend your out to like I did with my mom. Go face to face with her or just call her and say "Hi I am Natalie"
or "Hi, I am 'insert name here.'" And then choose one or just narrow down the list with that.

Ooooh! Close, but no I'm a millenial, I was born in 2000.. And thanks, I'll have a look at that list know in a minute, I'm supposed to be studying for Christmas Exams

Quote from: fitzyfoop on December 14, 2014, 10:03:47 AM
Ooooh! Close, but no I'm a millenial, I was born in 2000.. And thanks, I'll have a look at that list know in a minute, I'm supposed to be studying for Christmas Exams

Oh, its rather short but you should study maybe 25 mins. Then take a break yaknow? So about every 25 mins switch. You could even put your
friend on speakerphone to your name introductions.(After you make a list and narrow it down by talking to yourself. Just say the names
to yourself and compare them. You could even look at a mirror to talk better. But don't get too stiff be yourself. Introduce your self to yourself.
Or imagine you parents introducing you. Like "Hello Steve. Have you met my daughter Natalie?" So on so forth to narrow the list. :)
Then with your narrowed list call you open friend who knows your trans* and introduce yourself to her while you study.
Go through your list and find the best fitting one to fit YOUR personality. And BE YOURSELF don't get too stiff or nervous!
It is just you and you bestfriend! ;D

Hmm, yeah that's a good idea, I might do it, it's just I haven't told any of my closest friends yet. I've come out to one of my friends, and she was totally fine, but then again, we hardly know each other, and have only met in person once. I've worked with Natalie for a bit, like if I mess something up, I'll whisper to myself "Dammit Natty!" or something along those lines. I'll draw up a list now in a few minutes and I'll run through the names.

Quote from: fitzyfoop on December 14, 2014, 10:21:35 AM
Hmm, yeah that's a good idea, I might do it, it's just I haven't told any of my closest friends yet. I've come out to one of my friends, and she was totally fine, but then again, we hardly know each other, and have only met in person once. I've worked with Natalie for a bit, like if I mess something up, I'll whisper to myself "Dammit Natty!" or something along those lines. I'll draw up a list now in a few minutes and I'll run through the names.

Well I am always here!
When your done with your list may I read it? :)

Ok, the remaining names are:
-Natalie
-Violet
-Luna
-Tia
-Hazel
-Lacey
-Alaska

And yes, I know a bunch of them are book characters, for some reason they have cooler names than real people

Quote from: fitzyfoop on December 14, 2014, 10:39:57 AM
Ok, the remaining names are:
-Natalie
-Violet
-Luna
-Tia
-Hazel
-Lacey
-Alaska

And yes, I know a bunch of them are book characters, for some reason they have cooler names than real people

Agreed! I really think Luna and Hazel are unique and have some zest to them! Infact this girl in my school is called Unique. :)
Remember to do the introductions! Talk to yourself-
In the mirror(or just to yourself)
Make a scenario(Imagine your parents introducing you to someone.  " This is my daughter 'Insert name here.'".
Talk to your friend!(You don't have to but you could.) Like introduce your name to her."Hi I'm 'insert name here'. How are you?"

Tell me how it goes! And I'll be here too! ;D

Quote from: fitzyfoop on December 14, 2014, 10:39:57 AM
Ok, the remaining names are:
-Natalie
-Violet
-Luna
-Tia
-Hazel
-Lacey
-Alaska

And yes, I know a bunch of them are book characters, for some reason they have cooler names than real people

I like Natalie and Hazel a lot.

I started using Adrian because I wanted to try it out. I like it, but I'm pondering another one too (Jonas). I chose Adrian because I liked the sound of it and I'd get to keep my initials. But Jonas has a special meaning to me...

Quote from: adrian on December 14, 2014, 10:52:30 AM

I like Natalie and Hazel a lot.

I started using Adrian because I wanted to try it out. I like it, but I'm pondering another one too (Jonas). I chose Adrian because I liked the sound of it and I'd get to keep my initials. But Jonas has a special meaning to me...

Please not the Jonas Brothers, please not them.... No offence, I just don't like them, they're almost as bad as 1 Direction

Quote from: adrian on December 14, 2014, 10:52:30 AM

I like Natalie and Hazel a lot.

I started using Adrian because I wanted to try it out. I like it, but I'm pondering another one too (Jonas). I chose Adrian because I liked the sound of it and I'd get to keep my initials. But Jonas has a special meaning to me...

Hey what do you think of Fawn? I know its girlie but...  :)
Also I replied to you ;D

Quote from: fitzyfoop on December 14, 2014, 10:53:19 AM
Please not the Jonas Brothers, please not them....

LOL. I don't even know who they are tbh :D Will google. No, it has to do with the novel Moby Dick ;).

Quote from: fitzyfoop on December 14, 2014, 10:53:19 AM
Please not the Jonas Brothers, please not them.... No offence, I just don't like them, they're almost as bad as 1 Direction

Sorry but...
Come as you are
You're a superstar
World in your pocket and you know it
You can feel that beat
Running through your feet
Heart's racing fast, you're rock and rolling
All that you need is the music to take you to some other place where You know you belong

Chorus
Raise your hands up in the air and scream
We're finding our voice following our dreams
Cause We rock,
We rock, we rock, we rock on
nobody in the world's gonna bring us down
the louder we go well the better we sound
cause we rock
We rock we rock we rock on


Read more: Jonas Brothers - Camp Rock Lyrics | MetroLyrics
;D And YES I legitimately looked up their lyrics and copied them.(Honestly when I was 5 I watched ALL of the Jonas brother movies
with my big sis. No shame. :angel:

I know none of the Jonas Brothers' music. Right now I have Disturbed blasting out of my speakers. If you haven't heard of Disturbed I won't be suprised

Quote from: fitzyfoop on December 14, 2014, 11:00:53 AM
I know none of the Jonas Brothers' music. Right now I have Disturbed blasting out of my speakers. If you haven't heard of Disturbed I won't be suprised

I have. They are quite good. I don't like the Jonas brothers. I just looked it up. ;D

Ha, you did reply. I lost track [emoji16] [emoji16]

Maybe it's time to start an alliance then!

About the name Fawn -- note that English isn't my first language, so I wasn't even aware that it was a name [emoji15]  I immediately associated it with the animal.

If it's a guy's name and you like it go for it though. If it is a name that is ambiguous in terms of gender just keep in mind that as long as you are not read as clearly boy/guy by people it could lead to you having to explain to some people it's a guy's name so they use correct pronouns.

If you've ever played NFS: Most Wanted (the original PS2 version) you'll recognise their song "Decadence"

Quote from: adrian on December 14, 2014, 11:09:16 AM
Ha, you did reply. I lost track [emoji16] [emoji16]

Maybe it's time to start an alliance then!

About the name Fawn -- note that English isn't my first language, so I wasn't even aware that it was a name [emoji15]  I immediately associated it with the animal.

If it's a guy's name and you like it go for it though. If it is a name that is ambiguous in terms of gender just keep in mind that as long as you are not read as clearly boy/guy by people it could lead to you having to explain to some people it's a guy's name so they use correct pronouns.

How exactly do you think I could change it? In a older reply in this post I think I mentioned to Natalie that they use it for everything. :embarrassed:
But pronouns would be very difficult.... I am in highschool but my counselor and the principal of my school know my situation so
how do you think I could get that started? :embarrassed: Any advice appreciated!

I'm new to the idea of an "lgbtqiap+ alliance" I presume it would be something like a trade union? Like, if you were being bullied and were afraid of going to the principal, you would go to the alliance and say that such and such are bullying you and they would go to the pricipal on their behalf? Or is is like a support group, but in school?

Quote from: fitzyfoop on December 14, 2014, 11:34:19 AM
I'm new to the idea of an "lgbtqiap+ alliance" I presume it would be something like a trade union? Like, if you were being bullied and were afraid of going to the principal, you would go to the alliance and say that such and such are bullying you and they would go to the pricipal on their behalf? Or is is like a support group, but in school?

I have no idea... I've never been to anything like it.. :embarrassed:

Quote from: Maxwell on December 14, 2014, 11:14:15 AM
How exactly do you think I could change it? In a older reply in this post I think I mentioned to Natalie that they use it for everything. :embarrassed:
But pronouns would be very difficult.... I am in highschool but my counselor and the principal of my school know my situation so
how do you think I could get that started? :embarrassed: Any advice appreciated!

At some point in your transition, when you feel comfortable with it, you can ask people to use correct pronouns for you. You could do this as part of coming out (which - at least when it happens on a bigger scale in school - should be well-planned, for example with your parents, your therapist, the councellor, and the principal). Maybe try how male pronouns feel with close friends and family first.

The idea of the alliances is to give support, but also to raise awareness. So the alliances are involved in activism and awareness raising activities. By supporting the creation and work of such an alliance, schools and universities can also emphasize that they take these topics seriously. This is a quote from the GSA Network page (they're in California), they explain the purpose of the alliances as follows: "GSA clubs are powerful tools that can transform schools – making them safer and more welcoming for LGBTQ youth, youth with LGBTQ parents, and straight allies.  GSA Network helps GSA clubs become activist clubs that can educate teachers and students to improve the school climate."

Quote from: adrian on December 14, 2014, 11:54:13 AM
At some point in your transition, when you feel comfortable with it, you can ask people to use correct pronouns for you. You could do this as part of coming out (which - at least when it happens on a bigger scale in school - should be well-planned, for example with your parents, your therapist, the councellor, and the principal). Maybe try how male pronouns feel with close friends and family first.

The idea of the alliances is to give support, but also to raise awareness. So the alliances are involved in activism and awareness raising activities. By supporting the creation and work of such an alliance, schools and universities can also emphasize that they take these topics seriously. This is a quote from the GSA Network page (they're in California), they explain the purpose of the alliances as follows: "GSA clubs are powerful tools that can transform schools – making them safer and more welcoming for LGBTQ youth, youth with LGBTQ parents, and straight allies.  GSA Network helps GSA clubs become activist clubs that can educate teachers and students to improve the school climate."

That's cool :).
But my sister and papi told me that until I physically transition they couldn't see me other than female. :'(

Well. They could still make the effort and use the correct pronouns. Give them some time -- but you should try to discuss it with them again at some point (again -- all of this are things that therapists are great for, because they can help us navigate these bumps in the road). They may still be in denial. Language is very powerful. Not using the correct pronouns could be a strategy to allow them to think nothing has changed. But this won't make it easier for them once your transition begins to gain some momentum.

It would be great if they could understand that just because someone looks feminine or has some of the parts that society normally associates with being female, it doesn't mean they identify that way. Hopefully, they'll start educating themselves. If your mother is the most approachable, try to win her over first. Make sure she understands what you are going through and how hurtful language can be. If she is an ally, maybe your dad and sister will come around.

Quote from: adrian on December 14, 2014, 12:08:16 PM
Well. They could still make the effort and use the correct pronouns. Give them some time -- but you should try to discuss it with them again at some point (again -- all of this are things that therapists are great for, because they can help us navigate these bumps in the road). They may still be in denial. Language is very powerful. Not using the correct pronouns could be a strategy to allow them to think nothing has changed. But this won't make it easier for them once your transition begins to gain some momentum.

It would be great if they could understand that just because someone looks feminine or has some of the parts that society normally associates with being female, it doesn't mean they identify that way. Hopefully, they'll start educating themselves. If your mother is the most approachable, try to win her over first. Make sure she understands what you are going through and how hurtful language can be. If she is an ally, maybe your dad and sister will come around.

She has always been supportive. But she is VERY ill. :( My papi is from Puerto Rico so they don't talk to therapists where hes from...
My sister just throws a hissy fit when anything about me being trans* comes up...

I'm sorry :(
You can come here and vent anytime you feel like it :) Families are difficult and parents seem to be terribly invested in their children's gender. The most important thing is not to let things escalate while you still depend on your parents and live with them. So even if it's difficult, you may just have to stick it out and let them have their way. They have -- from their own perspective -- "good" reasons to behave the way they do. I think it has a lot to do with them being in denial and trying to "protect" themselves, not with consciously trying to hurt you or make you feel bad. I know that's not much of a consolation, but yeah -- that's just how it is sometimes.

Quote from: adrian on December 14, 2014, 12:20:11 PM
I'm sorry :(
You can come here and vent anytime you feel like it :) Families are difficult and parents seem to be terribly invested in their children's gender. The most important thing is not to let things escalate while you still depend on your parents and live with them. So even if it's difficult, you may just have to stick it out and let them have their way. They have -- from their own perspective -- "good" reasons to behave the way they do. I think it has a lot to do with them being in denial and trying to "protect" themselves, not with consciously trying to hurt you or make you feel bad. I know that's not much of a consolation, but yeah -- that's just how it is sometimes.

Thanks! It means a lot. ;D
But I feel like some members aren't seeing this post.... Is there anyway to make it more visible so I can get more tips/advice?

Quote from: Maxwell on December 14, 2014, 12:22:51 PM
Thanks! It means a lot. ;D
But I feel like some members aren't seeing this post.... Is there anyway to make it more visible so I can get more tips/advice?

Give it a bit more time. I'm sure there will be more answers :)

Quote from: adrian on December 14, 2014, 12:26:15 PM
  Give it a bit more time. I'm sure there will be more answers :)

Yes, hopefully. ;D

Hmm that's weird. With Hawaii being populated with a big transgender community, me and my friends who are also trans started our transition at 14 and started HRT at the age of 16. We didn't need to go to a therapist and get a letter but maybe the rules changed since at the time we started hrt, it was the year 1999.

But even now a lot of the younger generation trans in hawaii are prescribed HRT at 16 as long as they have a guardian to sign the papers that acknowledge the prescribing doctor that the minor is allowed to take hormones. We didn't need to see a therapist or psychologist.

Maybe this is only allowed in hawaii since most transgenders know each other in hawaii but not sure how other states or countries work with their process for hrt.

Quote from: jojo702 on December 14, 2014, 10:47:08 PM
Hmm that's weird. With Hawaii being populated with a big transgender community, me and my friends who are also trans started our transition at 14 and started HRT at the age of 16. We didn't need to go to a therapist and get a letter but maybe the rules changed since at the time we started hrt, it was the year 1999.

But even now a lot of the younger generation trans in hawaii are prescribed HRT at 16 as long as they have a guardian to sign the papers that acknowledge the prescribing doctor that the minor is allowed to take hormones. We didn't need to see a therapist or psychologist.

Maybe this is only allowed in hawaii since most transgenders know each other in hawaii but not sure how other states or countries work with their process for hrt.

Huh, I didn't know there was a big Trans* community at Hawaii. The more you know. ;D
But I find it cool you were able to go through with HRT at 16 but in the States I've heard crazy things, like transitioning at 12! :o

There's that german girl that started hrt at like 11 or something and I swear she's so pretty. However, I don't remember her name... As far as I know she's the youngest person to have ever received hrt.

I think she's german, I'm not sure, and google proved useless when I tried to find out about her

Quote from: fitzyfoop on December 15, 2014, 09:15:55 AM
I think she's german, I'm not sure, and google proved useless when I tried to find out about her

I'm from Germany -- I wouldn't say it's impossible, but it would be very, very unusual given our legal/medical system. The more common route is puberty blockers and then HRT around 16 as far as I know.

Quote from: adrian on December 15, 2014, 09:33:15 AM
I'm from Germany -- I wouldn't say it's impossible, but it would be very, very unusual given our legal/medical system. The more common route is puberty blockers and then HRT around 16 as far as I know.

Well again, I'm not sure, I remember it from a few years ago, but I remember it quite clearly. I think she may have been from the states

Quote from: fitzyfoop on December 15, 2014, 09:45:39 AM
Well again, I'm not sure, I remember it from a few years ago, but I remember it quite clearly. I think she may have been from the states

Nice profile pic! :)
The States are kinda weird at times with stuff like this...

Quote from: Maxwell on December 15, 2014, 02:15:22 PM
Nice profile pic! :)
The States are kinda weird at times with stuff like this...

It's Iki Hiyori from Noragami, really good anime, you should watch it. I got confused for a second because your last post has tommorow's date on it, the 16th.

Hi guys! I actually decided on a name: Valkyrie, but you can call me Val for short

Quote from: fitzyfoop on December 17, 2014, 02:26:42 AM
Hi guys! I actually decided on a name: Valkyrie, but you can call me Val for short

Nice! I like the name, it's definitely special. ;D