Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I'm in need of some advice.  First, a little bit about my situation.  I'm 29 years old, still live with my parents, and only pay minimal rent (at my insistence).  My parents pay for my medical insurance (I'm only employed part time at Target), although I cover copays and usually any medical charges.  I have been seeing a therapist since August with the intent to transition from male to female. 

I have an appointment with an endocrinologist on the 30th and wanted to be out to my parents before then.  In fact, this Tuesday (the 23rd), I have a group therapy session with my therapist scheduled.  They know I've been going to therapy, they just don't know why.  My dilemma is this.  The holiday season is incredibly stressful already, but in addition to this my Mom's mom has been in and out of the ER for the past week and a half, and my parents are going to be spending the week after Christmas down in Texas with my brother's extremely conservative in-laws (he's pretty damned conservative himself, and I'm fairly certain he'll disown me once he finds out.)  I'm very worried about adding to their stress levels and am equally concerned about a potential slip of the tongue to the extended family before I'm ready to tell  them. 

I guess I'm asking whether people think I should go ahead with the group therapy session and tell them, or if I should reschedule for once they're back from Texas.  Thanks everyone!

I think you should hold off until the stress dies down a bit. Your mom in the hospital doesn't sound like it will help.

That said, it will never be a good time.

Soap box time: I'm conservative/libertarian and I've been sympathetic to trans people before I even came out to myself. So you may be surprised at your brother's reaction. These days a lot of people are realizing that people should be free to live their lives the way they see fit, whether it's recreational drug use, owning dangerous items, to LGBT issues and other stuff. To me freedom is freedom and the less infringement on freedom the better, especially if it's driven by religious bigotry.

Yeah, wait til after the holidays and for your Mom's health to stabilize.

-Jay

While I'm not saying this was a good idea, I know a girl that told her parents during her sister's funeral. They seem to be ok with it too.

Well first is there ever a good time for something like this?  Ok with that said if you can hold off i think it would be best due to the stress.  But if you cannot hold back anymore as was my case then do it but try to keep the communication channels open.   The way i figure it they will know sooner or later so it is just a game of trying to figure out are they ready and can they take it but since no one knows the future no one can say when is the right time.   My prayers go out to you and your family in these times.  Stay strong and true to yourself.


Vicky
MtF

Quote from: ImagineKate on December 21, 2014, 10:26:47 PM
I think you should hold off until the stress dies down a bit. Your mom in the hospital doesn't sound like it will help.

That said, it will never be a good time.

100% agree. I'd at least wait until your mom is doing better. But beyond her health, I wouldn't dilly dally too much. It's never ideal to come out. Best to just do it like a bandaid.

Just wanted to let everybody know what decision I went with.  I decided to postpone telling my parents until after they return from Texas.  There's far too much stress going on right now and I really didn't want to add to it.  Also, it's not my Mom's health but my Mom's Mom, my grandma who is having health problems.  Thanks for the advice and well wishes!