Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I'm like in general I am realizing idk what is different between myself and other guys. How did you figure out the difference?

I realize I like being feminine but for me I think it's a physical thing. I'm actually intersex technically. So like I have felt that I want to stay the way I am. But idk mentally how that makes me any different from a guy who loves his body the way it is? At the same time I just wish I was born a girl because I feel I'd not be a complete oddball. I feel way more comfortable in female clothing but that's in a sense because my figure fits better in female clothing. Most of my friends are guys. And I've always had certain qualities a little different but it just seems to mirror what I'm suffering from rather than anything. I socialize better with guys I think? As I really don't have any female friends. I don't know in general I don't usually like what is considered female activities either. I just feel comfortable the way things are headed but I don't really know what mentally sets me apart from other guys? Because in general aside from how I look I'm not that feminine. People will say I look gay but I act straight.

One thing though is my perception sometimes I feel like when I'm with my friends like I'm the only girl. When we're all supposed to be guys. And sometimes it's uncomfortable to consider myself a straight guy. I never had these question of what gender I was when I was younger it started in like the last 2 years.

So do you like being feminine as an inner identity, or do you just like the look of feminine clothing?

Remember, being transgender is a spectrum. It is an umbrella term for people who aren't 100% conforming to their assigned gender.

In that you have full transition, MtF and FtM, but you also have people who identify non-binary, bigender and so on. Then you have people who really just like female clothing but have no desire really to be the other gender, these are crossdressers.

All of the above are transgender because they cross the line between genders.

So which are you? Also, you do not have to fit in a box and stay in a box all your life. Some people start out as crossdressers then realize that they are transsexuals. Then there are people who start off thinking they are transsexuals, when it turns out they are crossdressers, or have a fetish for dressing.

It's really up to you to figure out where you are and a gender therapist will help you along that path.

Quote from: ImagineKate on December 22, 2014, 09:55:35 AM
So do you like being feminine as an inner identity, or do you just like the look of feminine clothing?

Remember, being transgender is a spectrum. It is an umbrella term for people who aren't 100% conforming to their assigned gender.

In that you have full transition, MtF and FtM, but you also have people who identify non-binary, bigender and so on. Then you have people who really just like female clothing but have no desire really to be the other gender, these are crossdressers.

All of the above are transgender because they cross the line between genders.

So which are you? Also, you do not have to fit in a box and stay in a box all your life. Some people start out as crossdressers then realize that they are transsexuals. Then there are people who start off thinking they are transsexuals, when it turns out they are crossdressers, or have a fetish for dressing.

It's really up to you to figure out where you are and a gender therapist will help you along that path.

I don't really know what feminine as my inner self means? Like how could one tell? Sometimes I feel like I'm different from my friends. And much of the time I'm not attracted to girls in the sense of the opposite sex but I'm aware im physically a girl either. I don't really what masculinity is as my inner self is either though tbh.

Quote from: Blondie14 on December 22, 2014, 10:29:10 AM
I don't really know what feminine as my inner self means? Like how could one tell? Sometimes I feel like I'm different from my friends. And much of the time I'm not attracted to girls in the sense of the opposite sex but I'm aware im physically a girl either. I don't really what masculinity is as my inner self is either though tbh.

Do you think of yourself as a girl or woman? Or do you think of yourself as a man who likes to wear women's clothes?

From your first post it seems like you really don't want to be a girl, your body is just shaped a certain way and it would make things easier. Is that more or less correct?

I know for me personally it was more than just wearing clothes and what was on the outside. Inside I viewed myself as  a female nearly constantly. The only thing holding me back was societal expectations of being a "male" including my family, friends and colleagues. But even with my friends, who were mostly women up to a point, I often showed my feminine, vulnerable side. They loved that and I would feel very much at home relating to them. It's not something I had to try very hard to do either. It just came naturally.

Quote from: ImagineKate on December 22, 2014, 10:31:23 AM
Do you think of yourself as a girl or woman? Or do you think of yourself as a man who likes to wear women's clothes?

From your first post it seems like you really don't want to be a girl, your body is just shaped a certain way and it would make things easier. Is that more or less correct?

I don't feel like a man like ever really. But then again I'm not an adult so lol I really am not legally either. I'm not uncomfortable when I dress as a woman if that's what you're asking though. It's kind of just looks like what I should be presenting myself. But then there's that question of if its just like I see females that have similar characteristics as myself who dress like that maybe it's societal thinking why I look in the mirror and everything seems like it fits it's not awkward.

Quote from: ImagineKate on December 22, 2014, 10:34:34 AM
I know for me personally it was more than just wearing clothes and what was on the outside. Inside I viewed myself as  a female nearly constantly. The only thing holding me back was societal expectations of being a "male" including my family, friends and colleagues. But even with my friends, who were mostly women up to a point, I often showed my feminine, vulnerable side. They loved that and I would feel very much at home relating to them. It's not something I had to try very hard to do either. It just came naturally.

Yeah I really don't relate well with girls my age I have one friend though that is a good friend but our relationship is quite different than my best friend who is a guy. I don't like typical things girls like it seems. I Have similar interests to my guy friends usually. I sometimes feel vulnerable but it's more to do with my friends that are guys more to do with sexual situations but nothing to do with being feminine.

sorry if I'm confused, but how did you present socially  going to grade school as in sitting in class

Quote from: stephaniec on December 22, 2014, 12:06:08 PM
sorry if I'm confused, but how did you present socially  going to grade school as in sitting in class

Male I still do. I have experimented a little with dressing as a girl in private a few times. I only publicly went out crossdressing on Halloween. Which was great because I didn't tell anyone there that I was a guy. And it was a really great experience.

for me growing up , it was an intense awareness I didn't fit the male role, It was really a hard experience always trying to fit in as male.

Quote from: stephaniec on December 22, 2014, 12:22:48 PM
for me growing up , it was an intense awareness I didn't fit the male role, It was really a hard experience always trying to fit in as male.

Maybe I'm inbetween more than anything. I just took the Cogiati test supposedly I'm androgyne. That makes some sense. But I do like presenting as a female on the outside. On the inside I don't really feel like man. And I don't want to become a man.

I don't feel like I fit the male role but I don't really know why that is other than because I don't look like the typical male. I have the option to grow up and be a normal man but I don't want to. I just feel like I'd fit better as a woman. But I just recognize I am very masculine in how I act normally.

for me I Just acted masculine

Quote from: PPatrice on December 22, 2014, 12:32:10 PM
Hhmmm....I've known a number of masculine/butch genetic females, a few of whom are heterosexual.

That's another thing I don't think I am into guys. I have relations with my male friends but it's not like something I really ever want to do. But I don't feel like my attraction to women is a heterosexual attraction and I kind of feel weird thinking of myself as a lesbian.

Sometimes I feel like I'm a girl that's like one of the boys type of girl. I guess like a tomboy but I actually do like dressing in a feminine manner. I like looking pretty. I hate looking plain and boring.

I've always been straight acting but as I got older I realized some of my tendencies and interests were feminine. From music, to colors, decorations, emotions, slight mannerisms or preferences but never really clothes beyond that I wanted to fit comfortably in them. I knew for a long time I wished and dreamed I was a woman but for me the real realization came when I slowly stopped lusting after female bodies and started finding myself wishing I could have their body, breasts, or figure. Now it's jealousy instead of lust!

Quote from: stephaniec on December 22, 2014, 01:04:59 PM
for me I Just acted masculine

Me too.

Quote from: TSLexiknight on December 22, 2014, 01:23:24 PM
I've always been straight acting but as I got older I realized some of my tendencies and interests were feminine. From music, to colors, decorations, emotions, slight mannerisms or preferences but never really clothes beyond that I wanted to fit comfortably in them. I knew for a long time I wished and dreamed I was a woman but for me the real realization came when I slowly stopped lusting after female bodies and started finding myself wishing I could have their body, breasts, or figure. Now it's jealousy instead of lust!

That's one thing I'm not very much into detail of any sort. I Also am not that emotional when I am it's too much.
My room in general looks like typical for a guy my age. I didn't really ever wish I was a girl until recently it's just the predicament I'm finding myself in not yet a girl but not really a guy. It's like if I had to choose I'd rather live as a girl than a guy in the state I'm in currently. I am not really sexually attracted to a girl's physique. I just have felt I could have a relationship with a girl as a girl though not really as a guy. The one time I did cross dress out in public was actually the only time I've been comfortable enough to do anything with a girl. I don't really get jealous of girl's in my age range as most girls that I know are pretty flat chested like myself. So there's no real jealousy I just hope eventually I grow breasts. And am an actual normal girl not just an inbetween thing.

The whole thing can be really confusing. It certainly is for me. I have had female tendencies for a long time. I do things women normally do and have done them for many years. I have, within the last few years, acted on these things, to take them further. I wanted to take on a feminine form, starting with breasts. I have accomplished that. Now I want to take it further. I have been emotional, more so than a regular male, for quite a while. Even more so now with the extra estrogen I am taking. I can cry within seconds, even if there is very little to cry about. Certain things bother me more than they should. Maybe that is what they call an emotional roller coaster. In the long run, I love it. If it means that I am more meant to be female, then be it!

Quote from: Stephanie2 on December 22, 2014, 06:26:14 PM
The whole thing can be really confusing. It certainly is for me. I have had female tendencies for a long time. I do things women normally do and have done them for many years. I have, within the last few years, acted on these things, to take them further. I wanted to take on a feminine form, starting with breasts. I have accomplished that. Now I want to take it further. I have been emotional, more so than a regular male, for quite a while. Even more so now with the extra estrogen I am taking. I can cry within seconds, even if there is very little to cry about. Certain things bother me more than they should. Maybe that is what they call an emotional roller coaster. In the long run, I love it. If it means that I am more meant to be female, then be it!

Like I said I want a fully female body I totally relate with that. I don't want my feminine characteristics to go away and I don't want to become a man so I guess that should be enough. I am highly emotional. But it's more to do with really dark depressing stuff. I guess the thing is people want to be a specific gender for different reasons doesn't make it invalid.

I had this constant questioning all throughout my teenage years, a lot of it was due to fear and just trying to live up to everyone's expectations of me. Being my dad's first born in a spanish family put a lot of pressure on me. Despite that I had a lot of female characteristics growing up, way too many obvious signs as a kid.

Anyways long story short I didn't jump straight into transition. I started out by doing little things for myself like experimenting with clothing, playing with makeup, trying to find my inner female if that makes sense. I basically threw away any notion of gender roles/labels and all of that stuff that society likes to reinforce and did my best not to look at it like it was crossdressing. I did a lot of introspection like coming up with scenarios in my head as to what I would feel better as in terms of what gender people view me as(I was basically my own therapist) I've always been really good at feeling whats best for myself. A part of figuring out the difference is being able to trust how you feel without letting anyone influence you. An actual gender therapist helps with all of this stuff tremendously so I don't recommend doing what I did.

Once I found her, my female self I started to go out dressed as her and I told myself that if I still felt comfortable in public then I need to transition because the further I experimented the more I realized that I was truly female and how much better I felt mentally but at the same time living duo lives like that and no one knowing was killing me. I kept trying to pretend that I was okay with just dressing up and stuff and that I didn't need to transition. That was just me continually denying what I was really feeling and at the same time please everyone else in my life, so my depression started up again. After a few years of living that way I came out to my  my mom and she was actually the one that urged me to start hrt cause my mental state was becoming really bad by that point. 

To summarize I started the social transition basically the "real life test" before hormones so I knew taking that next step was right for me. Its a whole different story if you've only come to terms with transition and you practically start hormones soon after because what many of us struggle with primarily is the social transition. I think the best way to approach this is with a therapist or someone you can talk to and experiment slowly if you still can't seem to find a definitive answer. So yes you can still be masculine and still be trans. You just need to be honest with yourself about how you feel and take baby steps. This is a long process and it takes time to sort out your feelings cause it can get super confusing. I wish you the best Blondie14

Quote from: Lady_Oracle on December 23, 2014, 04:00:15 AM
I had this constant questioning all throughout my teenage years, a lot of it was due to fear and just trying to live up to everyone's expectations of me. Being my dad's first born in a spanish family put a lot of pressure on me. Despite that I had a lot of female characteristics growing up, way too many obvious signs as a kid.

Anyways long story short I didn't jump straight into transition. I started out by doing little things for myself like experimenting with clothing, playing with makeup, trying to find my inner female if that makes sense. I basically threw away any notion of gender roles/labels and all of that stuff that society likes to reinforce and did my best not to look at it like it was crossdressing. I did a lot of introspection like coming up with scenarios in my head as to what I would feel better as in terms of what gender people view me as(I was basically my own therapist) I've always been really good at feeling whats best for myself. A part of figuring out the difference is being able to trust how you feel without letting anyone influence you. An actual gender therapist helps with all of this stuff tremendously so I don't recommend doing what I did.

Once I found her, my female self I started to go out dressed as her and I told myself that if I still felt comfortable in public then I need to transition because the further I experimented the more I realized that I was truly female and how much better I felt mentally but at the same time living duo lives like that and no one knowing was killing me. I kept trying to pretend that I was okay with just dressing up and stuff and that I didn't need to transition. That was just me continually denying what I was really feeling and at the same time please everyone else in my life, so my depression started up again. After a few years of living that way I came out to my  my mom and she was actually the one that urged me to start hrt cause my mental state was becoming really bad by that point. 

To summarize I started the social transition basically the "real life test" before hormones so I knew taking that next step was right for me. Its a whole different story if you've only come to terms with transition and you practically start hormones soon after because what many of us struggle with primarily is the social transition. I think the best way to approach this is with a therapist or someone you can talk to and experiment slowly if you still can't seem to find a definitive answer. So yes you can still be masculine and still be trans. You just need to be honest with yourself about how you feel and take baby steps. This is a long process and it takes time to sort out your feelings cause it can get super confusing. I wish you the best Blondie14

I actually have felt comfortable with the idea of living as a girl . I've already went outside cross dressing. And if no one knew me as a guy I'd just take on a female identity. I don't really feel I'd miss out on being a guy. As I really don't feel like I'm one now anyhow.

When I crossdressed irl, I wished I could go to school this way and people could recognize me as a girl not a guy.


I guess I was just questioning the fact that I am normally quite masculine and that I don't act different from most of my friends who are guys.

Anyone else?

There's a similar thread in the FTM corner, I.e. "can I be a feminine ftm?"

You can be a pretty tomboy if you like. Actually, I remember that at the salon I used to go to, there were these really pretty blond hairdressers who looked like magazine cover models, but acted and spoke like men. I was surprised at the time. My sister has some friends like that too, fashionable girls who like sports and hang out with/talk like guys. Does it help to know people like that exist?

I will mosey on back to ftm land now.

Quote from: Gothic Dandy Luca on December 23, 2014, 10:54:40 PM
There's a similar thread in the FTM corner, I.e. "can I be a feminine ftm?"

You can be a pretty tomboy if you like. Actually, I remember that at the salon I used to go to, there were these really pretty blond hairdressers who looked like magazine cover models, but acted and spoke like men. I was surprised at the time. My sister has some friends like that too, fashionable girls who like sports and hang out with/talk like guys. Does it help to know people like that exist?

I will mosey on back to ftm land now.

I think that's what I am.

I've thought about it. And I think I'm just a different type of girl but that doesn't change that I'm a girl.

Quote from: Gothic Dandy Luca on December 23, 2014, 10:54:40 PM
There's a similar thread in the FTM corner, I.e. "can I be a feminine ftm?"

You can be a pretty tomboy if you like. Actually, I remember that at the salon I used to go to, there were these really pretty blond hairdressers who looked like magazine cover models, but acted and spoke like men. I was surprised at the time. My sister has some friends like that too, fashionable girls who like sports and hang out with/talk like guys. Does it help to know people like that exist?

I will mosey on back to ftm land now.

100% agree with this post.
IT IS OKAY to like boy things even if you are transitioning I mean after all you lived as a boy for x amount of years!
Take me for example.
I fish, Play airsoft, Play tons of video games, Fix computers for a living, and my friends of choice are definitely still guys they're just easier to get along with imo.
But that isnt to say I dont talk about girl things with other girls.... Oh no thats there too c ;

Yeah sure, I have kind of a "masculine" personality and so do other women.

For me, the dysphoria is more than enough to verify what I am doing, but even without that, this is just something I want to do, and there isn't much of a reason why I shouldn't/

Quote from: Alysinspace on December 24, 2014, 01:45:02 PM
100% agree with this post.
IT IS OKAY to like boy things even if you are transitioning I mean after all you lived as a boy for x amount of years!
Take me for example.
I fish, Play airsoft, Play tons of video games, Fix computers for a living, and my friends of choice are definitely still guys they're just easier to get along with imo.
But that isnt to say I dont talk about girl things with other girls.... Oh no thats there too c ;

Yeah I like hunting camping fixing cars fixing things around the house I also like build like different things like a dog house raft doll house etc random things. And I like playing different video games as well. And watching sports. But more than anything my best friend and I are pretty inseparable and have bonded like "brothers". I just find myself a lot like him that I feel like we're so alike yet I'm a girl and he's a guy. On the outside I might seem like a normal guy but I just don't feel like one I guess that's all that really matter.

Quote from: Blondie14 on December 24, 2014, 11:00:37 PM
Yeah I like hunting camping fixing cars fixing things around the house I also like build like different things like a dog house raft doll house etc random things. And I like playing different video games as well. And watching sports. But more than anything my best friend and I are pretty inseparable and have bonded like "brothers". I just find myself a lot like him that I feel like we're so alike yet I'm a girl and he's a guy. On the outside I might seem like a normal guy but I just don't feel like one I guess that's all that really matter.

There really isn't a such thing as "normal"
but yeah I have a friend like that too except I kinda like him instead of bonded like brothers
I am far more emotional and always was though instead of the typical guy.
And what really triggered me was in my early childhood where I would purposely tell people I was a girl.

Quote from: Blondie14 on December 22, 2014, 01:01:25 PMI just took the Cogiati test...

I wouldn't put too much weight on Cogiati score. I looked at the test shortly after your post and it seems to mostly be filled with sexist stereotypes. There are also many factors which influence one's score that have no bearing on gender identity. It neglects variables like physical ability(deafness, physical handicaps, etc.), level of intellect(math/poetry etc.), and life experiences(being able to find south, comfortability with physical contact, etc). Sorry for ranting but it just struck me as hurtful pseudo-science.

The truth is,
• You can be whatever you want to be
• You can act however you want to act
• You can like whatever you want to like
• You can talk however you want to talk
• et al

It is all about being happy, and living life with frequent smiles. Don't sweat the rest, it's no fun trying to force fit yourself into a mold. In fact, it can be debilitating!

Speaking based on my own experience,

I think it's common for us as trans women to reject all masculinity early on, thinking that we need to "clean house" and rid ourselves of anything that may make us appear anything but "feminine" or "not trans enough" (oof that's a rough one). That is understandable on an individual sense: sometimes it can make it easier for other people who are trying to learn new pronouns etc, and it can be affirming to oneself to shed things that bring a sense of dysphoria. Okay, but what's next?

As time goes on, we realize that we went from one mold to another, and that can just be a whole lot of no fun.

I got to a point in transition where all of my interests came right back to me, a lot of my friends even said something to me about it. I've been wrenching on my TRUCK, building soundsystems, programming LEDs, and welding crap like crazy. But, I still like to be seen as nothing but totally female. Inside however, gender means nothing to me. I am me, this is what I'm good at, and I'm going to keep doing it because it is what makes me happy. I know I am female regardless of the way I act or what I am into.

As people (trans or not) the point is to listen to yourself. Get to know yourself, and sense when your mind starts to shift towards wanting a change (a neverending process). There's no sense in trying to force yourself to do something, and the faster we can adapt to our elemental intention (at that moment in time) the happier we will be in the long run. That is an acquired skill that is ever changing, and yields the highest reward... (a good life that you are happy to be living)

Yes its quite common for one to grow up presenting to the world as something that eventually just falls apart and the truth prevails...

Jenny had some good advice above and right now Im having a very hard time trying to figure out what to do with half a lifetime worth of tools, cars, guns, and other cool guy stuff... My first thought is it ALL must go... To be truly at peace Id have to get all of that out of my life... Its very appealing and it may happen eventually...

The fact is I have some impressive skills and abilities that most would say are "masculine"... I can weld, forge steel on ANY level, and safely run heavy equipment, Im a master mechanic, I can do home maintenance and improvement... Ive been called a mechanical genius, very skilled with my thankfully very feminine hands I USED to hate... I spent a half a lifetime hating my body and making the best of it...

Im a year in transition now and Im told Im going to be a very beautiful woman soon by people I trust... I live full time as a female and I've done just fine from the start... Its been so easy its like it must be meant to be ;D

 

Quote from: Alysinspace on December 24, 2014, 11:47:49 PM
There really isn't a such thing as "normal"
but yeah I have a friend like that too except I kinda like him instead of bonded like brothers
I am far more emotional and always was though instead of the typical guy.
And what really triggered me was in my early childhood where I would purposely tell people I was a girl.

I don't really like any of my friends. But my friends many of them like me which I realize is because partly female. I have characteristics that they like In girls. Which has been an issue I've dealt with because I don't like guys. I'm a lesbian if anything. Not really into guys. But my best friend isn't like that. Our friendship has lasted 12 years we are practically brothers. When I was a kid I always thought I was a boy and was alright with that I just had a very docile quiet personality I wasn't the kid that was full of energy and play. but I always thought I was a boy. I'm only emotional now because of past demons. But otherwise I'm really numb. It's almost like icy.

Quote from: ErinReign on December 25, 2014, 12:28:22 AM
I wouldn't put too much weight on Cogiati score. I looked at the test shortly after your post and it seems to mostly be filled with sexist stereotypes. There are also many factors which influence one's score that have no bearing on gender identity. It neglects variables like physical ability(deafness, physical handicaps, etc.), level of intellect(math/poetry etc.), and life experiences(being able to find south, comfortability with physical contact, etc). Sorry for ranting but it just struck me as hurtful pseudo-science.

I also took the sage test it said I was androgynous and that I socialize in a feminine manner but think like a man but overall androgynous. Idk what I feel tbh though sometimes.

Of course you can! EVERYTHING and ANYTHING hypermasculine is possible in the MTF community.
Hyper masculine and  claimiing to be 100% female AND the biological father to several children, shooting big guns, racing cars and motorcycles,  being a mucho macho hypermasculine 'army girl', etcetcetc.

"Man enough to be a woman", so to speak  which is completely normal and accepted in the MTF community.

But  a totally different matter in daily real life...

I think Jenny hit it on the head - find yourself, be yourself.  I think I've been pretty masculine when it comes to my presentation, and have all the typical male hobbies like hunting / fishing / sports.  As I transitioned and lived life I learned that society accepts you as much for who you believe you are as for how you look and act.  The only exception I've seen is that women won't feel comfortable around me unless I feel comfortable in my womanhood.  That meant a lot of tweaks in how I communicated, learning to listen without interrupting, speaking in a way that didn't have so much 'male certainty', being vulnerable and open.  These tweaks have been much harder for me than the physical transition, and I am ever evolving into the woman of my dreams, but from the inside.  I'm finding that when I am true to myself inside, my outside naturally follows and I become more and more female if not feminine.

ReDucks- I really like what you mention here. Those tweaks are indeed so essential, and I think what make for a fully successful transition. It is kinda different for everyone, but dang I think you pretty much nailed it.

As I was reading it I got chills because it aligns very closely to what I went through earlier on, but almost accidentally. For me it was just experience based, and took time living as a female to really understand it (it also took not really trying to understand it- instead just experiencing).

Anyway just wanted to say thanks. That was really cool :)

Quote from: Jennygirl on December 25, 2014, 01:11:30 AM
The truth is,
• You can be whatever you want to be
• You can act however you want to act
• You can like whatever you want to like
• You can talk however you want to talk
• et al

It is all about being happy, and living life with frequent smiles. Don't sweat the rest, it's no fun trying to force fit yourself into a mold. In fact, it can be debilitating!

Speaking based on my own experience,

I think it's common for us as trans women to reject all masculinity early on, thinking that we need to "clean house" and rid ourselves of anything that may make us appear anything but "feminine" or "not trans enough" (oof that's a rough one). That is understandable on an individual sense: sometimes it can make it easier for other people who are trying to learn new pronouns etc, and it can be affirming to oneself to shed things that bring a sense of dysphoria. Okay, but what's next?

As time goes on, we realize that we went from one mold to another, and that can just be a whole lot of no fun.

I got to a point in transition where all of my interests came right back to me, a lot of my friends even said something to me about it. I've been wrenching on my TRUCK, building soundsystems, programming LEDs, and welding crap like crazy. But, I still like to be seen as nothing but totally female. Inside however, gender means nothing to me. I am me, this is what I'm good at, and I'm going to keep doing it because it is what makes me happy. I know I am female regardless of the way I act or what I am into.

As people (trans or not) the point is to listen to yourself. Get to know yourself, and sense when your mind starts to shift towards wanting a change (a neverending process). There's no sense in trying to force yourself to do something, and the faster we can adapt to our elemental intention (at that moment in time) the happier we will be in the long run. That is an acquired skill that is ever changing, and yields the highest reward... (a good life that you are happy to be living)

Yeah I guess all throughout everything I've been figuring out how others may see things and always needing to explain why I want to live as a girl. Partially how I see it is that many girls are lesbians and pretty masculine so why can't i? IN part I developed this way for a reason. And I can't help that I don't want to change even if I'm not the "typical girl" I am what I am. I guess I just am trying to find an explanation because of I were open about idk if people would really take me seriously. But thank you so much for your post it helped me realize I didn't need to defend why I am a girl.

Quote from: Jennygirl on December 25, 2014, 01:11:30 AM
I think it's common for us as trans women to reject all masculinity early on, thinking that we need to "clean house" and rid ourselves of anything that may make us appear anything but "feminine" or "not trans enough" (oof that's a rough one).

I did this, mostly just prior to transitoning.  Not because I was trying to play a role or anything, but because there were things that came with strong masculine expectations and because of the state I was in with dysphoria, they just crushed me.  As time has gone on some of these interests did come back, not all of them, actually I would say really only a few.  But those things that did come back I completely embrace because I feel any interest that survived this gauntlet I have passed through must be legitimate.  I am all about finding truth and authenticity in myself these days.  I didn't go through all this to run from one specious state to another.

If you think you have to make a feminine caricature out of yourself to be a real woman, that is simply untrue.  Being a caricature is actually the opposite of being a real anything.  Cis females run the gamut, and so should we--cause all of us, all human beings, should just be true to ourselves above all else.

Quote from: Jennygirl on December 26, 2014, 04:01:07 PM
ReDucks- I really like what you mention here. Those tweaks are indeed so essential, and I think what make for a fully successful transition. It is kinda different for everyone, but dang I think you pretty much nailed it.

As I was reading it I got chills because it aligns very closely to what I went through earlier on, but almost accidentally. For me it was just experience based, and took time living as a female to really understand it (it also took not really trying to understand it- instead just experiencing).

Anyway just wanted to say thanks. That was really cool :)

Thank you so much!