Susan's Place Transgender Resources

As much as I try to change my name everywhere it still keeps popping up unexpectedly in strange places like some wound up jack in the box. As an example, today I went to the auto parts store and they asked for my phone number. When they entered it guess who popped up? I quickly made up a story on the spot to explain (ie: it's someone that used to live with me) and I thought that I had gotten away with it, but then the rewards card I have there popped up you guessed it - my old name again.

The first time my old name popped up the guy looked perplexed and turned the monitor around for me to see,  but when it popped up again I think he started to figure it out -  so much for keeping a low profile. He was very nice about it, but it was very uncomfortable for me after having just told a whopping fib.

I've also had it happen when I went to pick up prescriptions because they were under my old name, as was my health insurance card (both fixed now).

I have had this happen *so* many times before and it's getting old; i'm tired of getting outed by my old name unexpectedly popping up here and there.

Is this a problem for anyone else - being outed by the sudden and unexpected appearance of your old name? How long did it take you to mostly eradicate your old name?

It'll show up more often if you keep going out like that...!!

;)

Just stay home, order online. Saves all that hassle with new names, old names, new face, old face...

j/k

Seriously though, the first year or so I had that issue as well. I always came clean about it though--"Oh that's my old name! Can you change it for me please?"

I haven't had any problems with this issue, most people don't care. And if they do take offense, gently remind them that they're free to voice their opinion, as soon as the manager/owner comes over. "And you're going to call him right over, aren't you sweetie? If you don't, I will."

It's happened, but nothing has been said I have been able to explain it away so far. It's always at those places that ask for your phone number that take your name and other info with it. I wasn't originally planning on going to safeway yesterday, but I forgot something for dinner and had to pick it up. I had totally forgot about it tell I was inline and I was asked for my phone number. Otherwise the only place left with my old name is on my college transcripts. The alumni side has been updated just not the physical records themselves. Eventually I will get them updated, but in some cases I just signed up for new cards and used the cell phone instead of home phone to avoid this issue.
Mariah

That'll be never for me. I have old publications and comics and artwork with my guy name plastered all over them. Just gonna have to roll with that.

Called to get my exercise bike repaired yesterday. "It's registered under someone else's name" they tell me. This before I've told them my name. So 18 months out, still dogging me.

When I need to, I out myself. I'm not ashamed of having transitioned. "That's a name I used to go by" is what I usually say.

I just changed mine three months ago and this still happens to me. I just tell them that the name they have is my former name and ask if they can change it for me. The only place I've had a problem changing my name was with PayPal. I even sent them copies of my legal documents and they still are not changing my name on there.

Paypal was actually easy for me once they received the documents. That was all they required. I wonder why your having trouble with them. The one that I found was a pain was Dell. I have a protection plan on both laptops I have and I had to have the one laptop repaired. The plans were in my old name and they were not at first willing to do anything about it. I had update my name with them everywhere else without a problem. As a result of that the correspondence that was occurring due to that computer was being sent in both my old name and current one. I had to get them to completely clear my old name from their system. Now all emails from them don't have any name attached which is better than seeing my old name pop up. Have to you tried escalating the problem with paypal. Have you made sure your bank info listed with them is updated already?
Mariah

Quote from: Pinkkatie on December 26, 2014, 08:09:05 PM
I just changed mine three months ago and this still happens to me. I just tell them that the name they have is my former name and ask if they can change it for me. The only place I've had a problem changing my name was with PayPal. I even sent them copies of my legal documents and they still are not changing my name on there.

Quote from: Mariah2014 on December 26, 2014, 08:20:08 PM
Paypal was actually easy for me once they received the documents. That was all they required. I wonder why your having trouble with them. The one that I found was a pain was Dell. I have a protection plan on both laptops I have and I had to have the one laptop repaired. The plans were in my old name and they were not at first willing to do anything about it. I had update my name with them everywhere else without a problem. As a result of that the correspondence that was occurring due to that computer was being sent in both my old name and current one. I had to get them to completely clear my old name from their system. Now all emails from them don't have any name attached which is better than seeing my old name pop up. Have to you tried escalating the problem with paypal. Have you made sure your bank info listed with them is updated already?
Mariah

I have changed the information with all of my banks without any problems prior to trying to change it with PayPal. I sent in a copy of my driver's license along with a copy of my court papers along with a statement saying that I have legally changed my name and need to change it with them. I got an email from them where they questioned why I was doing this. I was confused by this, especially since it the question was already answered in the email I sent them. I just reiterated that I legally changed my name and need to change my name with them.

I followed it up with a call to PayPal, and they stated that I had to send them proof of a name change. I told them I already have but nothing has happened. They didn't give me someone else I could talk to or a different email address or snail mail address to send this to. After some frustrating back and forth over this, I gave up.

Still nothing has happened to this day.

My name change became official February 4, 2014, and my old name is still popping up from time to time. I am curious what will happen when I file my taxes in 2015. I collected unemployment under my old name from January to April 2014 (couldn't for the life of me figure out how to change it with them) and I have worked under my current name since November 2014. I did have one academic paper published under my old name so if anyone researches the topic I wrote about they may find it.

I recently goggled myself and found the legal notice of my intention to change my name. To my surprise it appeared in three newspapers (small community newspapers all owned by the same publisher), not just the  one I paid for the notice to appear.

My main issue of late is that after my legal name change, my bank reissued my debit card with the same number.  It's nice that I didn't have to go through the hassle of changing it with everyone who has it on file, but what happens sometimes is something like this:

Cashier: "I'm sorry, we have this card number under a different name."
Me: "Is that a problem?"
Cashier: "Well, it looks like you may be committing some kind of fraud."
Me: "No, there's no fraud going on here.  This is my card."
Cashier: "What's your address and phone number then?"
Me: "<home address and phone number>"
Cashier: "That's what we have, but the name we have is Gregory  <lastname>.  Do you know him?"
Me: "That was me before I transitioned."
Cashier: (choose one) "Holy crap!"/"Umm, OK. Not what I expected."/"WTF?"/"Oh, my <distant family member> is trans* too."/*blank stare*

Yea,  it just keep happening....

I understand it at those place where I haven't formally changed my name.  But last week, I reordered checks with my new name and specifically outed myself so that there would be no way that there would be a problem.  I got the checks today.  Old name.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

I'm hoping that it will just get less often and less often.

Hugs,

Jen

Quote from: JLT1 on December 28, 2014, 06:10:17 PM
Yea,  it just keep happening....

I understand it at those place where I haven't formally changed my name.  But last week, I reordered checks with my new name and specifically outed myself so that there would be no way that there would be a problem.  I got the checks today.  Old name.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

I'm hoping that it will just get less often and less often.

Hugs,

Jen

It's kind of like electrolysis.  You keep plucking away and the damned thing comes back up half the time.

6 years later and mine still pops up, but it's pretty rare anymore.

One thing I did was I got online and ordered every free snail mail catalog I could find using my new name. I also donated a few bucks to half a dozen "march of dimes" type places. Before long I was getting piles of junk mail in my new name, they sell your info to other people and it wasn't long before mail in my old name appeared. I also changed my phone number (I removed the old one from the online white pages too) and signed up with new "rewards cards" at all those places. Your old phone number is going to be "poisoned" with your wrong name. The other thing I did was the half dozen things I did get mailed with the wrong name, I called their number and asked them to change it, "My brother moved but I still live here and enjoy reading it"... One thing that was hard to get fixed was the people who farm your name etc off of your credit card. It will pop up your old name even if you have a new card. You might have to totally close that account and have the bank open a new one to flush the info away.

Quote from: Pinkkatie on December 27, 2014, 08:35:50 AM
I have changed the information with all of my banks without any problems prior to trying to change it with PayPal. I sent in a copy of my driver's license along with a copy of my court papers along with a statement saying that I have legally changed my name and need to change it with them. I got an email from them where they questioned why I was doing this. I was confused by this, especially since it the question was already answered in the email I sent them. I just reiterated that I legally changed my name and need to change my name with them.

I followed it up with a call to PayPal, and they stated that I had to send them proof of a name change. I told them I already have but nothing has happened. They didn't give me someone else I could talk to or a different email address or snail mail address to send this to. After some frustrating back and forth over this, I gave up.

Still nothing has happened to this day.

Paypal won't do it from my experience. What I did was opened another checking account for online use only, deleted my old paypal account and opened a new one using this other checking account with my new name.

Quote from: Stephe on December 28, 2014, 08:01:45 PM
Paypal won't do it from my experience. What I did was opened another checking account for online use only, deleted my old paypal account and opened a new one using this other checking account with my new name.

Thank you for that - I haven't changed paypal yet..... I'll just skip that and open a new one!

Hugs,

Jen

Quote from: Stephe on December 28, 2014, 08:01:45 PM
Paypal won't do it from my experience. What I did was opened another checking account for online use only, deleted my old paypal account and opened a new one using this other checking account with my new name.

I did the same thing for another reason. When I called to change my old account, they asked if I lived at another address about 3 towns away from where I live. I told them I never lived in that town. Then I remembered about a year ago:

I got a call from a collection agency asking for more old name (I had gone by my middle name and they called me by my middle name which was off since all my accounts I had used my legal first name.) So I told them that was my middle name not my first name. They then asked if I lived at an address I never heard of and I said know. They asked for the last 4 digits of my SS# and and said no I will not give that out as I don't know who you are. They said they were a collection agency and PayPal was their client. I asked how the last name is spelled and it didn't match.  (There are several variations of spelling my last name but it sounds the same.) They then asked if my SS# ended by XXXX and I said no (it didn't match) and then they said OK, we have the wrong person and never heard from them again.

After we cleared that up they asked me why I was changing my name. I told them I was transgender and I have a court order. The guy said he had to speak with a supervisor. I waited for 10 min on the phone and they come back and said, "Well the supervisor isn't convinced your not the other person 3 towns over." After going back and forth a few times it ended with, "we can't change it until the other account is paid or you can prove your not that other person." I told them never mind on the name change as they were being unreasonable. Then he tells me that I need to pay the other account. I said no, because it's not mine. It's up to you to prove it is me and no information matches other than my old middle name and their first name and the last name isn't even spelled exactly the same. I hung up at that point and just started a new account.

I had no trouble with paypal - followed their procedure and sent the info they asked for and it was a done deal.

I changed my name with that auto store rewards card using their online site and later went back and the old name popped back up yet again arrgghh......

Quote from: JLT1 on December 28, 2014, 06:10:17 PM
Yea,  it just keep happening....

I understand it at those place where I haven't formally changed my name.  But last week, I reordered checks with my new name and specifically outed myself so that there would be no way that there would be a problem.  I got the checks today.  Old name.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

I'm hoping that it will just get less often and less often.

Hugs,

Jen

I hope you sent it back and asked for replacements. The printing error was their fault, not yours.

Thanks for the heads up ladies, I think I am going to change my phone number too to avoid this mess.

These days I'm kind of paranoid about signing up for new stuff, because I haven't changed my name yet. So I more or less have a moratorium on that stuff.

Quote from: Sydney_NYC on December 28, 2014, 11:42:50 PM
I did the same thing for another reason. When I called to change my old account, they asked if I lived at another address about 3 towns away from where I live. I told them I never lived in that town. Then I remembered about a year ago:

I got a call from a collection agency asking for more old name (I had gone by my middle name and they called me by my middle name which was off since all my accounts I had used my legal first name.) So I told them that was my middle name not my first name. They then asked if I lived at an address I never heard of and I said know. They asked for the last 4 digits of my SS# and and said no I will not give that out as I don't know who you are. They said they were a collection agency and PayPal was their client. I asked how the last name is spelled and it didn't match.  (There are several variations of spelling my last name but it sounds the same.) They then asked if my SS# ended by XXXX and I said no (it didn't match) and then they said OK, we have the wrong person and never heard from them again.

After we cleared that up they asked me why I was changing my name. I told them I was transgender and I have a court order. The guy said he had to speak with a supervisor. I waited for 10 min on the phone and they come back and said, "Well the supervisor isn't convinced your not the other person 3 towns over." After going back and forth a few times it ended with, "we can't change it until the other account is paid or you can prove your not that other person." I told them never mind on the name change as they were being unreasonable. Then he tells me that I need to pay the other account. I said no, because it's not mine. It's up to you to prove it is me and no information matches other than my old middle name and their first name and the last name isn't even spelled exactly the same. I hung up at that point and just started a new account.

Collection agencies are basically legalized scam artists. They buy the debt for pennies on the dollar then try to collect. When they can't collect from the original debtor they try to scam other people into paying up.

Yes, very very hard to completely expunge old names from one's personal history. I knew a professional person who worked very hard to ensure that that all reference to the former name were altered.  A few years passed, but the former name popped into public view one day.

I don't believe my acquaintance's efforts at editing out the former name were remiss in any respect.  I think the problem is that in many circumstances the old records are not actually destroyed.  My knowledge is perhaps dated, but used to be at a least a few government agencies and other entities don't destroy old records subsequent to said records being amended (i.e., the amended record was just tossed into a file with the old stuff).

Sorry to hear that. Have you tried sending the request again and sending the needed documents a second time. It might be worth trying. I know how frustrating it can be at times. Sorry it took me a few days to respond I have been actively involved in something new in my life and that has taken some time up.
Mariah

Quote from: Pinkkatie on December 27, 2014, 08:35:50 AM
I have changed the information with all of my banks without any problems prior to trying to change it with PayPal. I sent in a copy of my driver's license along with a copy of my court papers along with a statement saying that I have legally changed my name and need to change it with them. I got an email from them where they questioned why I was doing this. I was confused by this, especially since it the question was already answered in the email I sent them. I just reiterated that I legally changed my name and need to change my name with them.

I followed it up with a call to PayPal, and they stated that I had to send them proof of a name change. I told them I already have but nothing has happened. They didn't give me someone else I could talk to or a different email address or snail mail address to send this to. After some frustrating back and forth over this, I gave up.

Still nothing has happened to this day.

I had about the same problem with an auto parts store. Feed the phone number into the great god of the electron and pops my wife's name. A lot lot of retailers use your phone to find you and keep track of your purchases. (BTW-for auto parts at Advance Auto great for in warantee issues when you don't have the long ago faded out thermal printer reciept)

I didn't see any reason to keep my old PayPal account, so I just closed it. If I need a new one, I'll create one with my new name. I do keep getting snail mail in my old name, and I expect it will take some time to completely eradicate the old name. I did a lot of the name changes in person with a copy of the court order in hand, and people were surprisingly cool about it.

Still pisses me off that I can't change it on my concealed carry license. That has to wait until I renew in 2 years. At least by then, I might have some facial hair and a M to go along with the new name :D

I got lucky with a gender neutral name, Id be hopeless trying to remember a new name!!

Me:  "Have you read my paper on X, Y, and Z in P, D, and Q"
College: "I didn't know that was your work it was written by  Xxxxx Xxxxxxx"
Me -> OUT 

It's hard to be a professional when you have a past in the old name.  Even so I'm really just a nobody.  I don't ever expect to leave my male self behind completely.  Rather I hope to make a future where I can be the lady I know I am inside, realizing that on occasion I'll have to reference that I used to be him.  After all he did help me to get where I am today. 

-Alana

This happens to me a lot when I go back and change a piece of software code that has my old name in the comment part of the code. I update and change it as I go along, and only me and 3 other people can see it and they change it when they run across it as well.

Quote from: Sydney_NYC on January 09, 2015, 10:10:08 AM
This happens to me a lot when I go back and change a piece of software code that has my old name in the comment part of the code. I update and change it as I go along, and only me and 3 other people can see it and they change it when they run across it as well.

That's been happening to me too!

Yup,  happened again today.  Went to get a smog check on my car, they enter the Lic# and *BAM!* there it was.

Yep. 5 years out it's mostly junk mail and spam coming in that name, but every once in a while I trip over something like the rewards card thing. On the other hand, some guy named Lou KEEPS giving out our home phone number as his own, and I've never met the dude in my life, so it does happen and most customer service people should have seen it all by now. :)

My wife also reminds me that she changed her name 15 years ago (and only lived under the other name until she was 22 years old), and it still pops up. It's the gift that keeps on giving in the database age, I guess. Heck, I got my tax return in the wrong name three freakin' years after I legally changed it... and then the bank teller told me that happened to her for 8 years. (I would have gone shrieking insane by then.) So it'll never *completely* go away so long as you have the same personal data - especially Social Security number - but the farther away you get from the time you changed it, the more it will also start to look like typical database garbage and/or someone like good ol' Lou messing things up for you.

I have started to become my "partner" with rewards cards recently more often.

"Do you have a rewards card with us?"
"Yes but it's not on me"
"Ok that's all right we'll just check the system"
Moment of panic "oh we share my partner's card"
"Alright his name and suburb"

Time to go to other stores and 'rejoin' as me

Quote from: immortal gypsy on January 09, 2015, 08:44:43 PM
I have started to become my "partner" with rewards cards recently more often.

"Do you have a rewards card with us?"
"Yes but it's not on me"
"Ok that's all right we'll just check the system"
Moment of panic "oh we share my partner's card"
"Alright his name and suburb"

Time to go to other stores and 'rejoin' as me

I've run into this a few times with rewards cards. The first time was at Pep Boys (and I didn't want to loose me points.) It went like this:

Cashier: "Do you have a rewards card?"
Me: "Yes, but I don't have it with me."
Cashier: "What phone number is it under?"
Me: "<gives phone number>"
Cashier: "Ahh whats the name it's under?"
Me: "Sydney <lastname>"
Cashier: "Ahh I found it under<male name>, is that your husbands?"
Me: "No, not anymore!!"
Cashier: "Would you like me to change it?"
Me: "Yes please, he want be using it anymore."

The only thing I had to out myself for was frequent flyer miles with Jet Blue and Southwest. I had to send them a court order and my new ID so they would change the gender. (Since that has to match when you fly.) Jet Blue even called me back to verify that my gender did change and they were great about it and did it within an hour of faxing them my court order. Southwest took 3 weeks to update my account after faxing them the info, but they didn't give me any hassle over it.

The rewards cards are the first things I tackled actually. I sacrificed all my rewards points on everything because I couldn't stand one more minute of hearing my old name. The very first thing I got with my current name is a new Starbuck's gold card, a month before I even filed the paperwork to legally change my name. The only thing that I know is looming on the horizon is my pending divorce. My wife filed it using my old name despite the fact that I legally changed it months earlier (we had an epic fight shortly after separating and didn't see each other or speak for 6 months). Her logic was "I married Scott, I'm divorcing Scott". That should be final in February 2015.

My caller ID on the phone was outing me, even after I changed the account name with the phone company.

It took a separate effort (trouble ticket) to have my caller ID transmissions changed to my current name.  Even then the phone company rep was asking me "but what about your husband ?"  ::)

C -

Quote from: Jill F on January 09, 2015, 07:20:55 PM
Yup,  happened again today.  Went to get a smog check on my car, they enter the Lic# and *BAM!* there it was.

I'm told the Fish and Game people here in WA use one's SSAN to index licenses...which means if one got a hunting or fishing license or whatever, they still have the old name in their system.

This may be true for other states and agencies also, depending on various things.

My common excuses for that is that it's a partner or ex's name, or family member's name. Then ask them if there's a way to change it. Generally they won't really create too much of a problem with it, either they can change it or they can't, but they won't stop you from using it (unless it's a bank card sorta thing)

In some cases, you can call and say "Hey I lost my old card" and see if there's a way to get another one without needing a new account. Say that your partner (whom never used the card, doesn't currently use the card, moved away, etc) was the one to originally sign up for the account, and they want you to just switch it onto your name. They might be able to help switch things (like for loyalty cards) that way without it effecting the account.

Our state election is this weekend. My new name is on the electoral roll, I have checked. When I look up my old name it comes up not registered to vote at this address. Guess which name keeps getting sent the promotional mail I at her address.

Yes old me that's who.

(we have compulsory voting in Australia. I'm seriously thinking of just voting for the (a) first party to send me mail in my name. (b)not voting for the party that next sends out mail addressed to my old name)

^^^  That happened to me the last election in November.


Today I had a funny experience. One of my clients, where about have the people in the office knew me prior to transitioning, one of the salespersons was hired 3 months after I went full time and he happens to have my old first name as his name. Since he was gone today and he has a bigger monitor for me to plug my laptop is I used his desk. One of the girls who I've know for 7 years came is looking for him. She walks in and says, "Ohh, your not <old name>..." and we both finished with " well not anymore" and we both laughed. She has been one of my biggest supports when I transitioned and always gave me helpful advise on hair, whether I was passing or not, etc.

Quote from: immortal gypsy on March 24, 2015, 07:12:50 PM
Our state election is this weekend. My new name is on the electoral roll, I have checked. When I look up my old name it comes up not registered to vote at this address. Guess which name keeps getting sent the promotional mail I at her address.

Yes old me that's who.

(we have compulsory voting in Australia. I'm seriously thinking of just voting for the (a) first party to send me mail in my name. (b)not voting for the party that next sends out mail addressed to my old name)

Exact same thing happened to me. Weird enough, I got a letter earlier on with my current name and my current address stating I was on the roll - and yet neither that name nor address wasn't on the roll.

I've had it happen when I tried to buy tickets, with my partner close by who has no idea about my past.

Quote from: Ms Grace on December 26, 2014, 07:23:40 PM
That'll be never for me. I have old publications and comics and artwork with my guy name plastered all over them. Just gonna have to roll with that.

Yup.  I've got publications, and I'm defending my PhD thesis in December.  I'm mostly sure I'm going to transition, I want to change my name ASAP... but I'm pushing hard to work at a company where everybody only knows boymode.  They'll... probably be okay about it?

Due to the type of work I do and every once and while actions by the state legislature get found to be against the law and it results in people recieving money as a result of a class action lawsuit. Come to find out I'm one of the ones do to receive as a result of this lawsuit, but the only intriguing thing is even though my work record has been completely update they went back to the physical records to determine who was do money, but took the current address on file without paying attention to the name being any different from before. The end result is the notification came in previous name which can only mean when the check arrives that it will too. I guess we can never fully get away from it.
Mariah