Susan's Place Transgender Resources

The first dream that I can remember was going to 1st grade at a school where every child carried a lunchbox-sized gender kit that they could use once on someone else. My friend, Angie, asked me if I wanted to be a girl. I didn't hesitate, "YES." Poof! I was a girl. But the next morning when I woke up, I was back to a boy again, only my hair was now red, white and blue tricycle streamers. I needed Angie again! When I found her, she said, "well, I can only fix it by making you a girl permanently. Are you ok?" I nodded yes. In my dreams sense then, I'm usually female.

For the next 40+ years, I found increasingly sophisticated ways to cope with the dissonance I felt over my gender. All the while, I lived a normal, happy male life. I've been married for decades, I have beautiful daughters. I enjoy being a father and a husband. I'm exceptionally rational but yet I've never found a way to get my brain to relax about my body.

So this year, I started therapy. Expressly choosing someone who was very conservative about meds and not a gender specialist. The results were good. I removed some of the crud in my life and ultimately shared with my wife. She was embracing and has been incredibly supportive. We are more in love than we have been since we met. She encouraged me to explore hormones. I started six weeks ago and my anxiety, the dissonance is gone. I still feel more female than male, but I don't feel it compulsive to have to do something to express it. I can just be.

I've since shared with about 10 close friends - several of whom are truly men's men - and they have also been beyond loving and supportive. My wife's friends have embraced her and I as well.

I haven't shared with others in my family - that lies ahead, but I've never been stronger mentally. And the lie that I believed my entire life - "If people knew who you really were, they wouldn't love you" - is officially dead.

I have no idea where this is going, but I've used this community a lot over the years to understand better who I am. Now I'm officially no longer an observer, but a member.

kellyferguson
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Izzy
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Wow Kelly that is one significant post.  You certainly have been busy lately!  You sound wonderfully happy with your transition and your wife and friends responses   It's really great to hear that more people are learning to understand and be supportive. 
Thanks for sharing and welcome aboard.

Thanks Tessa!

I've been pretty humbled. I didn't expect this response at all.

My wife told me, "until you shared, I always resented you. Everything came so easy to you. Now that I really know who you are, I can finally love all of you."

Woah.

Hello Kelly and welcome to Susan's. I've been out for over nine years now. I love wearing women's clothing. My spouse is supportive 100%. So is my son. I've never been happier.


:)

Quote from: kellyferguson on December 30, 2014, 10:52:45 PM

I still feel more female than male, but I don't feel it compulsive to have to do something to express it. I can just be.

Kelly that statement alone speaks volumes about your maturity.  Many of us have worked through the most typical narratives and explanations for who we are and why we feel this way.  For some the formula fits to a T and they can proceed with a well defined path for transition.  For others it is a more eclectic and individualized journey that is as unique as we are.  Good to hear such a positive thought from your wife too.  Many of us are lucky enough to still be married to a loving partner.

Hi kelly,

A big Aussie welcome to Susan's family. It's good of you to drop in and say "Hi". Hope you like it here, and you stay for a while.

There is a mountain of information, resources and friendship waiting for you here, you just need to jump in start talking and ask any question you like. You're quite safe here and we are very accepting.

Yours is a very encouraging story. I'm sure your experiences will resonate with many here, and for others be a support. I love your attitude about "Just having to be"

Looking forward to hearing more of your story in time to come, but in the meantime, be safe, well and happy.

Lotsa huggs
Catherine

Thank you Tessa, Catherine and Genna!

I'm not sure what lies ahead, but it will be an adventure. And with support from people such as each of you, I'm sure I'll be up to the challenge.

Likewise, I hope I can encourage and support others.

Happy 2015!