Community Conversation => Non-binary talk => Topic started by: T90 on January 02, 2015, 05:17:37 PM Return to Full Version
Title: Fluctuating Feelings
Post by: T90 on January 02, 2015, 05:17:37 PM
Post by: T90 on January 02, 2015, 05:17:37 PM
As I said in my introductory thread I consider myself to be someone who is looking to present as androgynously as possible in the future. Call it Genderqueer/Androgyne/Non-Binary or whatever, I do feel that I would be more comfortable with myself if I was read as being female.
But while these feelings never go away entirely, there are times when the urge to be more feminine in my appearance lessens considerably. Like I said the feelings are always there, but sometimes it does vary in intensity. There will usually be spells where appearing female is literally all I can think about. I will spend all day looking at clothes online which would help me to look more feminine, while considering how to make my hair look feminine once it has grown longer and considering further steps such as voice coaching. But there are other times where the feelings fade very much into the back of my mind, to the point where I think that I should be looking at clothes and make up tutorials and things but I'm not too fussed if I don't actually get round to doing it.
Does anyone else on here ever find their Non-Binary feelings/experiences fluctuate over time, and if so, to what degree?
But while these feelings never go away entirely, there are times when the urge to be more feminine in my appearance lessens considerably. Like I said the feelings are always there, but sometimes it does vary in intensity. There will usually be spells where appearing female is literally all I can think about. I will spend all day looking at clothes online which would help me to look more feminine, while considering how to make my hair look feminine once it has grown longer and considering further steps such as voice coaching. But there are other times where the feelings fade very much into the back of my mind, to the point where I think that I should be looking at clothes and make up tutorials and things but I'm not too fussed if I don't actually get round to doing it.
Does anyone else on here ever find their Non-Binary feelings/experiences fluctuate over time, and if so, to what degree?
Title: Re: Fluctuating Feelings
Post by: suzifrommd on January 02, 2015, 06:41:59 PM
Post by: suzifrommd on January 02, 2015, 06:41:59 PM
Quote from: T90 on January 02, 2015, 05:17:37 PM
Does anyone else on here ever find their Non-Binary feelings/experiences fluctuate over time, and if so, to what degree?
This was certainly an issue with me. There were times when I knew I'd make a great woman, and others where I was in a "what was I thinking?!?" place.
It's sort of natural. I mean we do have other things in our lives, right? They're going to be center stage and the need to transition will be on a back burner. Both binary and non-binary folk experience this.
Title: Re: Fluctuating Feelings
Post by: Satinjoy on January 05, 2015, 06:26:06 AM
Post by: Satinjoy on January 05, 2015, 06:26:06 AM
It changes, it stays the same.
It depends on many things, environment, stress, tiredness, influences of other transgendered souls.
Sometimes I flip heavy into the Satinjoy side of the spectrum, sometimes if move to SJ. If Satinjoy feels hurt, then SJ takes over till sh'e feel safe to come out and be vulnerable again.
But the core is always the same. I see what happens, the core is reflected in my pic, a blending of binaries, but Satinjoy hates that beard. But the core loves it, politically, and because it reflects a truth. That I am many components, and all have value.
But yes, it shifts around a lot, but most of that shifting is social, it seldom shifts when I am by myself, that is quite nonbinary mtf when I can relax, have my hair on, and lounge in lingerie and silk.
It depends on many things, environment, stress, tiredness, influences of other transgendered souls.
Sometimes I flip heavy into the Satinjoy side of the spectrum, sometimes if move to SJ. If Satinjoy feels hurt, then SJ takes over till sh'e feel safe to come out and be vulnerable again.
But the core is always the same. I see what happens, the core is reflected in my pic, a blending of binaries, but Satinjoy hates that beard. But the core loves it, politically, and because it reflects a truth. That I am many components, and all have value.
But yes, it shifts around a lot, but most of that shifting is social, it seldom shifts when I am by myself, that is quite nonbinary mtf when I can relax, have my hair on, and lounge in lingerie and silk.