Site News and Information => Introductions => Topic started by: Lostandfound on January 05, 2015, 05:50:57 AM Return to Full Version
Title: Hello to all, and to all hello!
Post by: Lostandfound on January 05, 2015, 05:50:57 AM
Post by: Lostandfound on January 05, 2015, 05:50:57 AM
Hello!
My name is Calvin , and I'm a young transgender guy aged 15 going onto 16 this year. My gender isn't exactly static and I usually variate through male to masc. neutral. I rarely experience strong dysphoria, but on occasion it is really bad (usually from excessive misgendering ) I tend to disassociate. Oh yeah I'm part Asian and part Caucasian.
I have a tonne of emotional baggage and family issues to navigate in my daily life as I still live in my family home. My father has bipolar disorder and my mum has yet to overcome her grief from both my father, her anxiety and depression, and over her ex husband which she blames his death on herself.
I grew up in a very damaged household and I am still living there. I am one of the few example of when the governmental childcare system did stuff up quite a bit.
I suppose I should say a bit more than the generic hello, so be ready for some more severe things?
I had severe depression a few years ago, and have previously came close to suicide (only to chicken out because I was afraid of dying, I became a bit obsessed with death around this time.), and eventually conquered a few demons. My depression now is mild and doesn't interfere too much in my daily life. I got through a lot of things on my own through ->-bleeped-<-ty poetry and determination. Depression for me is a very strong thing, and it was very hard to begin to conquer. Luckily when my depression was at it's worst I had no idea I was a trans guy, because probably I would of killed myself.
I had and still have anxiety. I cannot answer phone calls without shaky hands, and talking to strangers on them makes me cry (I am a mental wreck of a human but I am working on fixing it). My anxiety makes social interaction with large groups awkward and difficult however I am fine with public speaking and acting (I have been doing acting classes since I was about 7?). Despite this, because my friend group is a bunch of anxious individuals themselves, usually I'll end up doing anxiety inducing things for them, so their anxiety goes down (if anything, I am insanely loyal).
And back onto the household thing. I have been emotionally abused for most of my life, and considering, I turned out alright. I would talk more about it but it's difficult to sum up.
I'm out to my friends, and family (though I kinda regret the second part.) and I don't intend to tell everyone else.
I can pass sometimes. I'm also kinda smart I suppose? I got dux last year, and I'm really good at English and Maths. Umm that's about it I think?
Anyway... Nice to meet you all!!!
My name is Calvin , and I'm a young transgender guy aged 15 going onto 16 this year. My gender isn't exactly static and I usually variate through male to masc. neutral. I rarely experience strong dysphoria, but on occasion it is really bad (usually from excessive misgendering ) I tend to disassociate. Oh yeah I'm part Asian and part Caucasian.
I have a tonne of emotional baggage and family issues to navigate in my daily life as I still live in my family home. My father has bipolar disorder and my mum has yet to overcome her grief from both my father, her anxiety and depression, and over her ex husband which she blames his death on herself.
I grew up in a very damaged household and I am still living there. I am one of the few example of when the governmental childcare system did stuff up quite a bit.
I suppose I should say a bit more than the generic hello, so be ready for some more severe things?
I had severe depression a few years ago, and have previously came close to suicide (only to chicken out because I was afraid of dying, I became a bit obsessed with death around this time.), and eventually conquered a few demons. My depression now is mild and doesn't interfere too much in my daily life. I got through a lot of things on my own through ->-bleeped-<-ty poetry and determination. Depression for me is a very strong thing, and it was very hard to begin to conquer. Luckily when my depression was at it's worst I had no idea I was a trans guy, because probably I would of killed myself.
I had and still have anxiety. I cannot answer phone calls without shaky hands, and talking to strangers on them makes me cry (I am a mental wreck of a human but I am working on fixing it). My anxiety makes social interaction with large groups awkward and difficult however I am fine with public speaking and acting (I have been doing acting classes since I was about 7?). Despite this, because my friend group is a bunch of anxious individuals themselves, usually I'll end up doing anxiety inducing things for them, so their anxiety goes down (if anything, I am insanely loyal).
And back onto the household thing. I have been emotionally abused for most of my life, and considering, I turned out alright. I would talk more about it but it's difficult to sum up.
I'm out to my friends, and family (though I kinda regret the second part.) and I don't intend to tell everyone else.
I can pass sometimes. I'm also kinda smart I suppose? I got dux last year, and I'm really good at English and Maths. Umm that's about it I think?
Anyway... Nice to meet you all!!!
Title: Re: Hello to all, and to all hello!
Post by: Ms Grace on January 05, 2015, 06:42:33 AM
Post by: Ms Grace on January 05, 2015, 06:42:33 AM
Hey Calvin
Welcome to Susan's :) Great to have you here - looking forward to seeing you around the forum.
Thanks for sharing a bit about yourself. Your family situation sounds pretty rough but I'm really glad you decided against suicide, you have a lot more to live for than you realise.
Please check out the following links for general site info...
Cheers
Grace
Welcome to Susan's :) Great to have you here - looking forward to seeing you around the forum.
Thanks for sharing a bit about yourself. Your family situation sounds pretty rough but I'm really glad you decided against suicide, you have a lot more to live for than you realise.
Please check out the following links for general site info...
- Site Terms of Service and rules to live by (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html)
- Standard Terms and Definitions (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,54369.0.html)
- Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar) (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,114.0.html.)
- Reputation rules (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,18960.0.html)
- Photo, avatars, and signature images policy (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,59974.msg383866.html#msg383866)
Cheers
Grace
Title: Re: Hello to all, and to all hello!
Post by: V M on January 05, 2015, 06:49:16 AM
Post by: V M on January 05, 2015, 06:49:16 AM
Hi Calvin :icon_wave:
Welcome to Susan's :) Glad to have you here, join on in the fun
Hugs
V M
Welcome to Susan's :) Glad to have you here, join on in the fun
Hugs
V M
Title: Re: Hello to all, and to all hello!
Post by: mrs izzy on January 05, 2015, 10:21:55 AM
Post by: mrs izzy on January 05, 2015, 10:21:55 AM
Welcome Calvin to Susan's family
So many topics to explore and posts to write
Safe passage on your path
So many topics to explore and posts to write
Safe passage on your path
Title: Re: Hello to all, and to all hello!
Post by: Catherine Sarah on January 05, 2015, 10:42:51 AM
Post by: Catherine Sarah on January 05, 2015, 10:42:51 AM
Hi Calvin,
A big Aussie welcome to Susan's family. It's good of you to drop in and say "Hi". Hope you like it here, and you stay for a while.
There is a mountain of information, resources and friendship waiting for you here, you just need to jump in start talking and ask any question you like. You're quite safe here and we are very accepting.
Congratulation for making it this far in the condition you're in. You're doing a great job of moving forward. The only thing you need to do from here on in, is just to ask questions. The rest is easy.
Looking forward to hearing more of your story in time to come, but in the meantime, be safe, well and happy.
Lotsa huggs
Catherine
A big Aussie welcome to Susan's family. It's good of you to drop in and say "Hi". Hope you like it here, and you stay for a while.
There is a mountain of information, resources and friendship waiting for you here, you just need to jump in start talking and ask any question you like. You're quite safe here and we are very accepting.
Congratulation for making it this far in the condition you're in. You're doing a great job of moving forward. The only thing you need to do from here on in, is just to ask questions. The rest is easy.
Looking forward to hearing more of your story in time to come, but in the meantime, be safe, well and happy.
Lotsa huggs
Catherine
Title: Re: Hello to all, and to all hello!
Post by: Stephanie2 on January 06, 2015, 12:04:49 PM
Post by: Stephanie2 on January 06, 2015, 12:04:49 PM
Hi, Calvin! Welcome to Susan's. It sure sounds like you are getting through your situation. Nice to hear that you are into acting. For me it would be hard to memorize lines for any character. I admire people who can do it. Some have photographic memories and do pages and pages of dialog with ease. Sorry to hear about your anxiety! Hopefully it will get better. Many on this forum will help you on many questions that you may have. You can also guide others on things you can help them with. Works both ways.
Title: Re: Hello to all, and to all hello!
Post by: gennee on January 06, 2015, 12:14:40 PM
Post by: gennee on January 06, 2015, 12:14:40 PM
Hi Calvin and welcome o Susan's. I remember during my struggles I wrote a lot of poetry. Wasn't great but it kept me sane.
:)
:)
Title: Re: Hello to all, and to all hello!
Post by: Lostandfound on January 06, 2015, 09:02:46 PM
Post by: Lostandfound on January 06, 2015, 09:02:46 PM
Acting helps a lot with my life it means I can adapt behaviours better, and that I could fool my father better when I was in the closet. I hope to help people here and get help when I need it. Trying to build up the amount of places I can reach out.
I'm hoping the poetry I'm writing is getting better. It tends to get better the more you write.
I'm hoping the poetry I'm writing is getting better. It tends to get better the more you write.