Susan's Place Transgender Resources

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/zoe-dolan/lets-talk-about-sex-chang_b_6418690.html?utm_hp_ref=transgender

Huffington Post/by Zoe Dolan       1/8/2015

' Sex-change surgery gave me my life. I would not be who I am without it .'

I was surprised to find only two comments.  Nice link.  TY

I'm troubled by this. The problem is that for so much of the country transition=SRS, meaning documentation change is impossible without it. I'm worrying this puts fuel on that fire.

Quote from: suzifrommd on January 09, 2015, 08:30:32 AM
I'm troubled by this. The problem is that for so much of the country transition=SRS, meaning documentation change is impossible without it. I'm worrying this puts fuel on that fire.

This.

I may never have SRS, due to not really seeing the need for it and being afraid of surgery and constant dilation.

Does that make me any less trans? Will it make me any less of a woman?

Then again I'm not ruling out SRS in my future. I just want to have my options open.

Quote from: suzifrommd on January 09, 2015, 08:30:32 AM
I'm troubled by this. The problem is that for so much of the country transition=SRS, meaning documentation change is impossible without it. I'm worrying this puts fuel on that fire.

I did not see that in Zoe's article.  Is this an effort to de-rail, or change the subject and start a fire, where none exists?

The article is just about one person extreme happiness of finally being free. I know personally the torment of not being free.

Quote from: TamarasWay on January 09, 2015, 12:05:34 PM
I did not see that in Zoe's article.  Is this an effort to de-rail, or change the subject and start a fire, where none exists?

No, just a personal reaction to the article posted.

Quote from: stephaniec on January 09, 2015, 12:21:48 PM
The article is just about one person extreme happiness of finally being free. I know personally the torment of not being free.

Yes, I agree.

Quote from: suzifrommd on January 09, 2015, 12:39:12 PM
No, just a personal reaction to the article posted.

Thank you for making that clear to me.

Quote from: ImagineKate on January 09, 2015, 10:17:12 AM
This.

I may never have SRS, due to not really seeing the need for it and being afraid of surgery and constant dilation.

Does that make me any less trans? Will it make me any less of a woman?

Then again I'm not ruling out SRS in my future. I just want to have my options open.

constant  dilation  is  a  myth.  once  the healing  takes  place,  most  girls  become  sexualy  active.  if nothing  more  then  with  a  battery  operated boyfriend  until  they  sort  things  out.  from  that  point,  dilation  is  nearly  non  existant.  me  12+ years  in,  never  diliate,  no  need.
  think  of  it  like  peirced  ears  for  earings.  yep,  the  first  year,  wear  earings  every  day  or  the  peircing  closes,  but  after  that,  the  peircing is  permanant,  wont  heal  even  after  extended  time with  no  earings. 
  My  opinion,  being  transgender  ,  is  a  spectrum  so  broad,  and  is  not  defined  by  surgery. 
  the  defanition  alone,  the  fact  that  it  affects  genetic  males  and  females,  mandates  that  it  be  looked at,  as  if  it  were  points  on  a  compass.  360  degres  in  the full  circle. 
  only  your  perceptions, definations,   and  beleafs  dictate  how  you  see  yourself,  being  whole,  or  as you  say, ' less of  a  woman'.
  ive known  many  that  have  opted  for  srs,  and  a  greater  number  that  have not.  their  'happiness'  with  their  choices  seemed  to  be  more  dependant  on  how  they live their  life,  and  not  so  much  so  on what  is,  or  isnt  betweem  their  legs.

  our  society  today,  is  a  blessing  for  transgender  girls,  compared to  20  years  ago.    with  same  sex marriage,  open  attitudes  toward  gay  and  lesbian  people,  tv  and  media  coverage  regarding  transgenders,  it seems  that  dwelling  on  a  minority  bias  view  is  nearly  a  mute  point. 
  I  hear  so  many  say, " once  they  found  out,  they  were gone". 
  I  say,  "  and  you  expected?" 
  dating  a  trans  girl  isnt  for  everyone.  expect  that.  non  op,  pre  op , or  post  op.  thats  life.    the  same thing  happens  at  the  ice  cream  shop.  there  is  a 50%  chance,  if your  serving  chocolate  and  vanella,  that  half  the  folks  want  chocolate.  its  personal  taste,  dont  take  it  personal  on  your  end.  now  add  in  rocky  road  and  strawberry,  your  down  to  25%  chance  of  one  flavor  being  chosen. now  put  that  into  human  form,  include  ethnic,  gender,  sexuality, height/weight,  etc,  and  its  going  to  get  really  complicated  reeally  fast.   
  consider,  if  you  get  past  that  first  meeting,  say  lunch  on  the  mall,  and  thay  ask  to  see  you  again.  now  you  agree,  and  a  few more dates  go  by,  and  your  silent  about  the  tg  issue.  now,  things  heat  up,  its  getting  serious,  and  now,  after  7  dates,  you  open  up,  "  Oh,  by  the  way".   .....  how can  you  not  expect  them  to  feel  deceived?  isnt  that  a  big  enough  issue  that you  should  have  'felt  them  out'  and  layed  it  on  the  line?
you,  we,  have  to  remember  their  perceptions  of  gender,  and  sexuality. and  their  prefferences. 
if your  looking  to  date,  look  where  you  can  expect  a  reasonable  chance  of  finding someone  accepting  of  who  you  are.  be  honest  and  up  front.  its  not something  you  wait  until  the 6th  date  after  you  kissed,  and  perhaps  you  are  looking  at  intamacy  in  the  next  step. 
yes  you have  a  right  to  date,  have a  relationship,  etc,  but  the other  person  has  rights also.  dinner  &  a  movie,  hush  up,  have  fun...  past  that, before  that  second  date,   they  have  a  right  to  know,  up  front  before  you  kiss,  ..
  My  therapist  always  told  me  to  "  put  myself  in  their  shoes".