Susan's Place Transgender Resources

You know something that I never forget? Whether or not someone is gay, lesbian, or trans. If a friend, or a friend-of-a-friend takes the time out of their day to personally let me know that they'd like to be addressed a certain way, I always make sure to honor that indirect request. But, being of the non-transitioning variety, I and people like myself, don't always get the same treatment.

• "What are you again?"
• "Are you even in the LGBT community?"
• "I dont think you'd understand, because you're not transitioning."
• "What's the point of using male pronouns if you're never going to transition?"
• "What's the point of calling yourself trans if you like guys? (Yes. This was a REAL question.)"

These are all things I hear daily, and while I usually react in a very calm, laid back fashion, I can't help but wonder why these people, some of which are transitioning themselves, would ever think to openly, and blatantly disrespect someone else's gender identity.

I know they don't forget, because when you're in the trans community, you don't forget. When someone tell you "hey, My name is Aaron, and I go by 'He'", you don't forget. That person becomes your brother, and there's a bond that's forged. Or, at least that's always been how I felt about other trans guys.

People don't always understand me, and usually I'm fine with that, but when it's one of "our own", It burns a little, and annoys me to no end. Not enough to anger me, but just enough to make me only want to hang around other trans guys (The majority of the people that made comments were (trans & cis) women. The others were cis gay men).


Has anyone else felt this, as a pre-op, or non-op trans guy?

Hey Trent

Welcome to Susan's :) Great to have you here - looking forward to seeing you around the forum.

Yes, sadly some people are not very respectful. There are trans people who adopt an attitude that someone has to be this or that to also qualify as trans. Cis people just generally don't get it.

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Cheers

Grace

Hi Trent and welcome to Susan's,

My sister said to me I should get operations right away when I told her I was trans. That was just after she said I do not look like a girl.

A cis friend said when are you going to fix your hair the second time I saw her after I told her I was trans?

I had 3 cis woman (co-worker, sister and wife) that said why would you want to be a girl.

I got I will never call you she/her/or Cynthia by my wife and daughter.

I guess some people do not get what they can not relate to, cis, trans, transitioning or procedures or not and do not realize the sensitivity of the subject.

Hi   :icon_wave:

Welcome to Susan's  :)  Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

Hugs

V M

Welcome Trent to Susan's family

So many topics to explore and posts to write

Safe passage on your path you and you alone will walk

Even when transitioning you get that x_x. I had people telling me it is alright to mess up pronouns as long I have not gotten surgery. Before hormones I was not 'transgender' enough yet to even bother.

People don't understand it and like how things are way too much. So make new friends who do appreciate who you are and take you for who you are and want to be.

I came out as transgender to someone who had the weirdest reaction so far.  Admittedly I didn't think he would take it well, but that didn't bother me because I was trying to reject his sexual "come ons" at the time and I was explaining why it wasn't a good idea for me.

His reactions as to try to classify me as different kinds of transgender slurs!  Apparently if I was going to have the operation, I was one kind of slur.  If I was non-op then I'd be another kind of slur.  He then said he could deal with me if I was (slur #2) because he really is just interested in my genitals anyway.

Needless to say, I was less than impressed.