Susan's Place Transgender Resources

If you could choose to be a bombshell looking transsexual who is NOT so passable or to be perceived as a passable GG woman but ordinary-looking, which one would you choose?

I know many T-girls who are Goddesses but do NOT pass cos of their voice for example while others are super duper passable with no trace whatsoever of their past but are average-looking.

You prefer to be a BOMBSHELL TRANSSEXUAL or ORDINARY-LOOKING WOMAN?

I don't care either way.  I'm alive, happy and just... me.   I honestly don't care how I am perceived by people who don't matter to me.

And yes, if you hate me, you don't matter.

Something never really caused me much issue.

Did not care being i will only be me.

Just a simple housewife and mother.

A butterfly that used to be a caterpillar. I used to be grounded but now i can fly

Live, love and laugh.

I finally like being in this body!
I'm not gonna change now! And besides at this point either of those eventualities is a distinct possibility

No question: Ordinary Looking Woman.

I want a teeny bit of control over when people learn my history.

Just an ordinary Looking woman and housewife and homemaker. I just want to blend in!
Judith

Nothing fancy for me.

I want to just blend into the background noise as an ordinary looking woman.

Whose DEFINITION of passing or beauty? I think I am both beautiful AND passable for me, a Jessica original. I need no one else's opinions as I feel great! :)

I'm a normal beautiful woman.

End of story really.

Quote from: Cindy on January 22, 2015, 06:58:45 AM
I'm a normal beautiful woman.

End of story really.

No it is not. Your amazing on top of that!!  ;D

At one of the groups I sometimes visit, there is a trans* woman who routinely has people asking her about her transition.  She is frequently told how perfect she looks and how people would wish to turn out like her following transition.  She's quite pretty.  But due to voice, manner, and having had too much FFS, there are some very visible signs of being trans*. 

I used to feel jealous about her. 

I'm quite plain looking, and I'm certainly no beauty.  When I go to that group (or other groups), no one ever says anything to me about my transition.  But I have had people come up to me after the meetings to say they thought I was there to support someone else because they thought I was a cis ally.  And the fact that I am the leader of a major regional trans* org has resulted in people thanking me for "doing exactly what an ally should." 

When I started to realize how much this was happening, I stopped feeling jealous.  She may be the one who looks prettier, but I'm the one who can travel in a space where everyone is assumed to be trans* and still have to out myself to people.  There's nothing there to be jealous of and quite a bit to be happy about.

So I guess that means I'd rather be passable than pretty. 

I'm average looking, but stealth. I do wish I looked more pretty, but I'm comfortable passing. Most of the time I even forget I'm trans. I think I'll also be more beautiful in the future since I've had no surgeries yet.

Ordinary, without a doubt. I strive for and achieve ordinary. I don't even wear makeup yet, just lip gloss and nail polish.

We cant have both??? Very pretty and passable is my goal, Im ambitious :P

I've met trans women who were striking beauties and were not passable. 

And I think that they were some of the most gorgeous people I've ever laid eyes on.  Passing may make you more safe, but for the wider community and for the next generation there's a lot to be said about things like visibility.

At this point I'm more or less comfortable with how much I pass, and do not aspire to be anything but a beautiful transgender woman - clockable or not.

I'd rather be ordinary looking, because my goal is to blend in not stand out, or just not in that way. Being visibly trans where I live would be hard. Very. Passing means you get to live a life closer to a cis-female's norm if such thing exists, and I wouldn't want people who don't know me to know unless I told them. Also, I've been feminine since I remember, physically as well, so it's made my life presenting as guy harder than it would be otherwise. I just want to fit in and leave that  image behind me if possible. I would rather be a cute pretty little girl than a bombshell who is not passable.

Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder and sometimes has nothing to do with good looks or glamour.  One of the most outspoken, popular and attractive people I worked with was a woman who spoke up for the truth and herself.  A strong lesbian woman she was and is not a hollywood profile.  She was able to talk with and make friends with just about everyone.  It is her character that shines through and past the superficial and makes people want to get close to her.  She wears what she likes and that is often some flannel that feels good.  I wish I was half the woman she is.

A dozen songs float through my mind; You are so beautiful, Everyone is beautiful in there own way.......

I"ll take a pass on passing ;)

Passing or not, beautiful women do not blend.  Attention is always squarely on a beautiful woman wherever she is.  While society values beauty and youth over all things a woman may have to offer, and that definitely is true, the actual experience of being beautiful is not always pleasant, in how both men and women can treat you.  Life can feel like navigating a minefield.  Also, youth and beauty is so very temporary.  If you add not passing on top of all that trouble, no thank you.

I would choose blending without a doubt.

id love to blend, and intend to devote a lot of energy and resources to that end in the coming months and years, but frankly at the moment i stick out like a sore thumb. i figure i have a choice; hide, or be free. im done hiding. i love getting dressed up as smart as i can, for the confidence it brings. if i have to stick out like a sort thumb, the nail varnish is going to be pretty!

Blending in and ordinary, no question. Luckily, that's what I ended up with. ;) I hate people staring at me, I hate standing out in a crowd, I hate attention... I'd 95% of the time even rather have rather been ordinarily pretty than a bombshell even if I were a cis woman. While I think it would have been fun to *temporarily* be a gorgeous girl, the truth is that I'm a middle-aged woman, and there aren't very many of us who look like that [anymore].

Quote from: Eva on January 22, 2015, 10:33:50 AM
We cant have both??? Very pretty and passable is my goal, Im ambitious :P

I agree! I'm aiming for both (I'm totally ambitious :P). But realistically, I would be happy with either. I'm finally me, and nothing will take that away!  ;)

<3

I'd rather be ordinary then have something give me away which i can't control.

Since my hormones haven't done much to my face as of yet to make me look more female, I'm going to have to go with beauty and bombshell transsexual. I'm tall, skinny, descent at makeup, and look great in a mini skirt with heeled boots. I hope to look more female in the face department someday but for now I'll work with what I have.

I didn't do everything I did because I was hoping for a shot at a sport illustrated swimsuit model. I did it so that I could blend into a crowd and just disappear and go unnoticed. That was my goal. The problem I began seeing during my transition is that women can also be very competitive, so it's a sort of keeping with the joneses sort of thing. That was until I said, enough and stopped worrying about it.

I think I was much more bombshell in the beginning, and I have cooled down to more ordinary.

In the beginning I thought I might end up a very girly girl. I could not have been more wrong. I am much more of a badass type of girl.

Still, I wouldn't mind bringing back some aspects of bombshell because it is a lot of fun when you're in the mood for it.

Beautiful trans. I don't like being one of millions. I like standing out, as long I am treated with respect. In the end I can go stealth but I wouldn't want anti gay/les/bi or trans people around me anyway. So best people know what is up. Even if it is not obvious.

Quote from: Jennygirl on January 22, 2015, 09:40:49 PM
I think I was much more bombshell in the beginning, and I have cooled down to more ordinary.

In the beginning I thought I might end up a very girly girl. I could not have been more wrong. I am much more of a badass type of girl.

Still, I wouldn't mind bringing back some aspects of bombshell because it is a lot of fun when you're in the mood for it.

Honey, you're as much of a bombshell now as you've ever been!  :icon_flower:

As for me, I already pass to an extent that strangers call me ma'am or miss or can't really figure out how to address me. This has been a recent and unexpected phenomenon. So when I get my FFS I expect to be gorgeous, as I think the magic of HRT has really helped. I do get compliments from my trans friends too. Plus I look damn good with makeup.  :icon_lips:

I can't help but wonder how a natal female would answer this question.   As for me, if I had my choice and it being a black or white question -- I would go with ordinary woman. Ordinary can become extraordinary with the right clothes and makeup ;-) . I do not know if I would enjoy the other type of attention.  As of this writing, it does not appeal to me.

Quote from: Christine Eryn on January 23, 2015, 01:07:52 PM
Honey, you're as much of a bombshell now as you've ever been!  :icon_flower:

As for me, I already pass to an extent that strangers call me ma'am or miss or can't really figure out how to address me. This has been a recent and unexpected phenomenon. So when I get my FFS I expect to be gorgeous, as I think the magic of HRT has really helped. I do get compliments from my trans friends too. Plus I look damn good with makeup.  :icon_lips:

Thank you Christine! It's pretty much an ever evolving process isn't it? Congrats on getting to the stage you are at, sounds like you already have a great confidence about your presentation which is only going to help in all regards. I remember when I was crossing the threshold, I still think that was the most exciting time in transition other than coming out to myself. Enjoy every moment!

Seriously though, I used to wear dresses day in and day out. Heels, glamour makeup, the whole gamut. All day every day. Now I feel weird wearing these things because I know it puts me on the spot and I haven't been in that sort of mood lately. I was always a bit more laid back pre-transition, and I think now that the initial huzzah of transition has passed I am seeing who I truly am.

My final step is the body contouring surgery in a month, and then I am DONE! Can't wait to revisit some bombshell stuff once I feel complete from head to toe. Definitely some more huzzah moments left in me ;)

Quote from: Evolving Beauty on January 22, 2015, 02:35:21 AM
If you could choose to be a bombshell looking transsexual who is NOT so passable or to be perceived as a passable GG woman but ordinary-looking, which one would you choose?

I know many T-girls who are Goddesses but do NOT pass cos of their voice for example while others are super duper passable with no trace whatsoever of their past but are average-looking.

You prefer to be a BOMBSHELL TRANSSEXUAL or ORDINARY-LOOKING WOMAN?

I'm pretty much both I guess depending how I'm dressed and makeup wise but I do have my voice down. But idk what you would consider average looking so yeah  :-\ cause I do stand out from most women in my area due to my hair. A lot of them flat iron where as I keep my hair in its natural state which is really curly. If I put on make up that's my bombshell state I think.

I would rather be 100% passable than a bombshell transsexuals any day

I understand that both beauty and passability are rather important to many of us, but most important to me is feeling comfortable in my own skin

I may or may not pass in the public eye, I may or may not be considered beautiful by others, more important to me is how do I feel about myself?

Our messed up world keeps me awake at night as it is, more important to me is if can I go to bed with the confidence that I have done my best to be a decent person

Blending. My beauty is my personality and sex appeal.

Its like a polish perfume rock versus being a beautiful plastic rock.

But I rather be a diamond.

Quote from: Madison (kiara jamie) on January 23, 2015, 11:43:59 PM
I would rather be 100% passable than a bombshell transsexuals any day

Too late! You appear to have completed both! :D ;)

Passability is my choice. It makes it easier for me to walk into anyone and/or pursue a normal life.
I had my nails done yesterday full of a CIS woman and one girl just started talking to me and not a single look of doubt was given.

So I choose to blend ladies xo

April

passing  has  always  been  one  of  those  topics.
  me,  i  just  go  out  and  enjoy  life.  Always  seemed  to  me,  focusing  on  passing  was  a  hassle  that  only  benafited  other  people  around  me,  and  was  actualy  hiding  who  i  was,  like  putting  on  a mask  to  hide my  identity.
  a bit  of  history.  yep,  had  srs  years ago.  then  breast  aug.    a  wee bit  of  laser  on  the  face  hair.
  i  had  Eugene  Schrang  as  my  surgon.  ill  never  forget  his  words  when  i  was  leaving  the hospital. 

"  you  did  it,  you  made  it.  Now,  go  live and  enjoy  your  life.  dont  waste  it chasing  rainbows"

I  never  had  voice  surgery  or  training,  never  did  face  surgery,  and  never  worried  about  passing  per  say.    Im  me.  spent  45  years  in  a  guys  world,  and  enjoyed  some  of  the  things I  did. 

  The  way  I  see  it,  and  me,  I  am  gender  blessed.  I  corrected  the  issues,  but get  to  live  in  my  choice  of  gender  roles.  I  can  fit  into  the  guys  world  as  '  one  of  the  guys'  or  I  can  go  over  to  the  girls  side  with  equal  acceptance. 
I  never  worried  about  the voice  or  other  tell  tales.  I  get  the "sir"  al  the  time  around  strangers,  and  dont  even  challenge or  correct  it.  they  are  strangers,  and  chaces  are ill  never  see  them  again.    In  circles  of  friends,  I  will  discretely correct  a  new comer,  "  Im  Lisa,  Im  a  girl,  dont  mind  the  voice,  God  gave  it  to  me  for  a  reason".   

  I  tell a  lot  of  girls,  dont  sweat  the  small  stuff.  it  over  shadows  the  important  things  if  you  allow it  to.    get  out  there,  and  figure  out  where  you  fit  on  that  wonderfull  gender  scale. 
  Attitude  over  appearance,  gets  you  a  lot  further  in  life.   

 

I think the two go hand in hand, really. Having more attractive feminine features would certainly make it so much easier to pass. Indeed, trying to pass better is a motivator behind my efforts to improve my appearance. If I could choose only one, it would be passing, because I really do not want to go through life being greeted with 'sir' or 'man' every time I go out; it is a constant reminder of my suffering. However, both are important to me for so many reasons, and what pains me so much is that I could have had both (and almost did) if I had transitioned 5 years sooner. It makes every day a struggle to know that beauty and passability, once so easily attainable, are both out of reach. :( I think I could live with either one, but not neither. I transition to be the best person I can be, but the haters are probably right; life will be hard as a trans woman who is neither beautiful nor passable. I can try and maybe I will be surprised; it would not be the first time. ;)