Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I am curious on thoughts about how important sexuality is in determining whether or not one is TG?

I was sexually mature very young, and could never think about anything else but 'transitioning' when performing any acts in that way (I could not think of women or men, didn't feel right). How important is this sexual desire in a determination? Does these urges need to be expressed?

Hi Nelon,

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~Jill

I was never happy with my sexual feelings or how my body reacted to sexual thoughts, but luckily I had great imagination to compensate for it.

These days I have almost no sexual desire, because it wouldn't feel 'right' in my current body. I don't ever want to use certain parts of m body. Ugh.

Quote from: Nelon on January 22, 2015, 09:57:00 PM
I am curious on thoughts about how important sexuality is in determining whether or not one is TG?

I was sexually mature very young, and could never think about anything else but 'transitioning' when performing any acts in that way (I could not think of women or men, didn't feel right). How important is this sexual desire in a determination? Does these urges need to be expressed?

Has nothing to do with it. Some of us sexualize our transitions, some don't.

Quote from: Nelon on January 22, 2015, 09:57:00 PM
I am curious on thoughts about how important sexuality is in determining whether or not one is TG?

I think it is a common mistake, to believe there must be some connection between gender and sexuality. They are two totally different concepts. Gender is about who you are; sexuality is about who you find attractive and how you express that. I see no logical reason why the two must be interrelated. Transgender people are very diverse when it comes to sexual orientation and interests, much more so than the general population.

I myself found that sexual thoughts and desires caused by testosterone poisoning made my dysphoria worse. I have never interacted intimately with a real person in my life, nor have I wanted to, because I find nudity mortifying and do not want to use parts that do not belong on me. Although that kind of sexual aversion is more common among transgender people than the general population, it is by no means a necessary part of being trans. While I tend to be attracted mostly to females because I like feminine features such as long hair and a rounder/less defined jawbone, I do find men attractive they have those features.

Quote from: Nelon on January 22, 2015, 09:57:00 PM
I am curious on thoughts about how important sexuality is in determining whether or not one is TG?

I was sexually mature very young, and could never think about anything else but 'transitioning' when performing any acts in that way (I could not think of women or men, didn't feel right). How important is this sexual desire in a determination? Does these urges need to be expressed?

I will echo Steph's comments. I recently withdrew from testosterone replacement which I had been on for many years. In a period of weeks, it is amazing how my sexual fatantasies have changed and how dramatically indifferent I am to things that for years were so attractive. In the past I also went through a phase that I associated my cross-dressing with being gay. However, over a period of time there was a disconnect and then I realized what I always had been: transgender. It takes some of us so long to come to terms with the complexities, especially with the inherent cultural relationship of gender and sex. Honestly, I am anxious to see how I feel on HRT, which I start in 2 weeks. I would support also the rec that you take your time and enjoy the ride. It sounds like you can be playful with many aspects of these issues in your work and living environment. Life is so short....stay open and be what you are. You are only repsonsible for your own integrity. Hugs, Sheila

It had nothing to do with determining that I am transgendered. However. I had no idea where I stood in regards to my sexuality at first.
Mariah


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Quote from: Sheila Grace on January 24, 2015, 01:54:59 PM
I will echo Steph's comments. I recently withdrew from testosterone replacement which I had been on for many years.

Sheila

I can relate to the testosterone thing. I have been on testosterone replacement for about 3 yrs and I think they over did it on the last round of pellets. I have always questioned my masculinity, but lately gender dysphoria has hit me like a ton of bricks, so much so that  am finally going to a gender therapist and will be seeking estrogen HRT soon.  Another person on this forum said that giving testosterone to a natal male with gender dysphoria is like throwing gasoline on a fire. These last couple of months have been an emotional roller coaster. I look to the future when I can hopefully transition.

All the best,
Marissa

Quote from: MarissaJ on January 24, 2015, 05:41:44 PM
Sheila

I can relate to the testosterone thing. I have been on testosterone replacement for about 3 yrs and I think they over did it on the last round of pellets. I have always questioned my masculinity, but lately gender dysphoria has hit me like a ton of bricks, so much so that  am finally going to a gender therapist and will be seeking estrogen HRT soon.  Another person on this forum said that giving testosterone to a natal male with gender dysphoria is like throwing gasoline on a fire. These last couple of months have been an emotional roller coaster. I look to the future when I can hopefully transition.

All the best,
Marissa

Wow I can totally relate to this. I have been on testosterone therapy,wow I can totally relate to this. I have been on testosterone therapy, androgel to be exact, for over 2 years due to my XXY condition. It was strange but as time passed even though the testosterone did not rise significantly, my gender dysphoria did to the point where I made a decision that I wanted to go on HRT and stop the testosterone therapy all together. A couple of weeks ago I told my urologist that I wanted to stop testosterone therapy and I told him why. He took me off it and told me there were other ways to keep my body from possibly developing osteoporosis. He told me we would wait six months and see how I felt. Well I can tell you its been 2 weeks and the dysphoria has died down significantly. In some ways I feel like there is no current need for me to transition at this time and the strong desire I had for HRT has diminished as well. While I'm still going to therapy and I know I am trans, it's amazing what the lack of testosterone has done to me mentally mostly. It's in inner peace I haven't felt in quite some time. It's good to see that I'm not the only one that just so happens to because I was somewhat worried about the reasons for my dysphoria diminishing so quickly.

Everyone is probably going to say that I'm wrong, but I feel like there may be a connection. Right now I think I'm ace, but I've been wondering for a while whether my being ace might be a reaction to some repressed body dysphoria kinda thing. I know I'm numb to most of my feelings, so I feel like something like that wouldn't be so far fetched, at least for me. it's just something I wonder about from time to time, but whatever I'm saying probably has more to do with asexuality than sexuality..

IMO, TG and sexuality are distinct but related issues.

As a male, I was firmly heterosexual. This really complicated my coming to terms with my being trans, basically for the same reason that many people have trouble understanding that a transwoman can be lesbian. Shouldn't I just be content that I was permitted by society to be attracted to women? Why should I complicate that and risk ostracism? It took me an additional 30ish years to realize that there's a lot more to happiness and gender than who I'm attracted to, and that I can't safely just ignore the persistent need for a female body. I think this'd have been a lot easier had I been attracted to men, though that would have added its own complications.

So, I think it's complicated, and it all fits together somehow, and this is why it's important to make a big effort to understand yourself and to take transition at a slow enough pace that you can self-reflect throughout. It's very easy to misunderstand oneself, but you have to do something. By going slowly, you have time to correct missteps and find your way to where you belong.

In my youth I linked the two. I had fantasies about being a woman with a man. RLE was a lot different. So I (falsely) concluded I am just a CD++, certainly not a TS since "I failed that test".

Testosterone is a very powerful drug. Shame and Guilt are very powerful emotions. Put the three of them together and you get a thermo-nuclear bomb bottled up inside the shell of a male. All that will effect how you see the world and especially yourself