Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Please note that I wrote the following yesterday (22 January 2015) but never got around to posting what I wrote on this site until today (23 January 2015). Thank you.

So I'm currently going full time and I had recently bought this hair wig and since then I've been having mixed feelings about it. I went out today because I had to go to the Mazzoni Center and I wanted to share my experiences with you guys.

So anyway the wig looked good at first but then the hair kept getting in my face! It's really long... TOO long and I thought the wig hair looked too... much for lack of a better word. I did not think that I would pass with that hair. On top of that, my face (I think) looks a little too masculine as I'm trying to save for FFS, GRS, and everything else. But I did use makeup to hide my five o'clock shadow and use eye shadow, lip gloss, etc. but I was still a little nervous that my face would get me clocked but I've always wanted to go to the Mazzoni Center as a girl and for my doctor to see what I look like as a girl so I figured "what the heck" and kept telling myself "oh, i'll do fine." Since it was a little chilly out, I did wear my black vans, white tights (that cover my feet; I love tights), denim skirt, three layers of women's shirts and my Apple Bottoms brown parka... OH! and a scarf to hide my Adam's Apple - which luckily is just below my chin - and pink gloves.

I took the trolley to Central Philadelphia. Now I have this ticket that allows me to pay only half fare and I've had it for a good few years, so it's yellow with a big fat M on the front. A female card is green with a big fat F on the front. I took my yellow card and stickered a yellow F over the M so people can at least see that it's an F for female. I tried to use that ticket when I paid half fare, but then the trolley operator stopped me and told me I cannot use that pass. I asked her why and she told me it's because that's a man's card... meaning I ended up having to pay full fare! But it's a good thing really because I at least pass that much because the trolley driver wasn't letting me use my male card. But I kept thinking about it because of how foolish it might have been to risk getting clocked just because I was too cheep to pay full fare.

Also, my doctor is trying to start me on shots, which I am excited about but then not so much because I hate needles and I am because shots, I hear, are more effective than tablets. Unfortunately I only had enough for the bottle of liquid estrogen but no needles and the TINY bottle was VERY EXPENSIVE. I was supposed to have injection teaching but that went up in smoke because I couldn't get the needles... now I had to have another appointment scheduled in early February! Ugh.

I must say though, on a more positive note for all the insecurities I have had about my face, my hair, and my height, it didn't go as bad as I thought it would. I didn't get any crazy stares or anything like that like I kept thinking I would. It went better than I thought because I never got clocked at all today. Mind you I'm 5'11 or 6'0 but luckily I don't have a football linebacker body. Has this happened to anyone else? You don't think you'll pass well but you go out and you ended up passing?

Congrats Annaiyah

Quote from: AnnaiyahStarr on January 23, 2015, 07:35:56 AM
But I kept thinking about it because of how foolish it might have been to risk getting clocked just because I was too cheep to pay full fare.

I don't agree. You DESERVE your discount. Presenting as female should not cheat you out of your discount. It's up to the trolly conductor to DEAL WITH the fact that you're transgender. It's not up to us to pretend to be cisgender to make it easier on the rest of the world.

I do AGREE with everything you are saying. However, despite that it was inconvenient for me to have to pay full fare, I am glad that she stopped me because as a girl, I cannot use a male pass. I did/do not want to come off as "trans" at all. That being stated, what I was saying was that since I did not want to give off a "this girl may/may not be trans" beacon then using a ticket which is in their standard male color with the letter F in black ink but in a brighter yellow background clearly pasted overtop of it probably wasn't the best choice, I have been thinking.

Quote from: AnnaiyahStarr on January 23, 2015, 11:22:30 AM
I do AGREE with everything you are saying. However, despite that it was inconvenient for me to have to pay full fare, I am glad that she stopped me because as a girl, I cannot use a male pass. I did/do not want to come off as "trans" at all. That being stated, what I was saying was that since I did not want to give off a "this girl may/may not be trans" beacon then using a ticket which is in their standard male color with the letter F in black ink but in a brighter yellow background clearly pasted overtop of it probably wasn't the best choice, I have been thinking.

I understand. I didn't mean to criticize. Just to keep in mind that the option is open to us to ask for what we deserve and not to late shame about being trans to keep us from doing that.

It's a big step and I know how good it feels that first time someone doesn't see you as a man.

That's a great story.  Thanks for sharing.  [emoji3]