Susan's Place Transgender Resources

In the hospitality and gaming industry you partly flirt, smile, give good customer service and be symperthetic all at once. These helps in sales, tips and keeping your job. Now while your regulars know it is an act and you are paid that this is our job, what we are like out of uniform off the clock is different. For the past few months I have had the odd people I have never seen before, (as in have not even placed a bet with me before) try and ask me out for a drink after work, some of them a little bit hard. (Thank you for security procedures). Today took the cake

Today I was waiting for a friend to go to lunch in a busy city train station. Waiting aroud the station guards (mamma gypsy raised no silly girl), when along comes some guy talking to me. Starts off telling me his name, (Oh boy here we go again). Asks if I come to the city often and what are my plans today. Me being the polite little lass that I am tell him (all but my name of course). Then he asks if I would like to hang out today, (umm didn't you here I was waiting for a friend drongo). Thankfully as I ended the conversation after that and started to walk away he went the other way. I'm starting to feel like I'm becoming a magnent for strangers in work and the real world. This never happened before, why now. By cthulu can't I just meet a nice girl for once please. I tackled hugged my friend when he came turned up 15 min later (his words).

Shout out to the guy who saw the whole thing. Nothing eventuated I only saw you as I was walking away but I hope you would of stepped in if it did

Quote from: immortal gypsy on January 28, 2015, 01:52:23 AM
In the hospitality and gaming industry you partly flirt, smile, give good customer service and be symperthetic all at once. These helps in sales, tips and keeping your job. Now while your regulars know it is an act and you are paid that this is our job, what we are like out of uniform off the clock is different. For the past few months I have had the odd people I have never seen before, (as in have not even placed a bet with me before) try and ask me out for a drink after work, some of them a little bit hard. (Thank you for security procedures). Today took the cake

Today I was waiting for a friend to go to lunch in a busy city train station. Waiting aroud the station guards (mamma gypsy raised no silly girl), when along comes some guy talking to me. Starts off telling me his name, (Oh boy here we go again). Asks if I come to the city often and what are my plans today. Me being the polite little lass that I am tell him (all but my name of course). Then he asks if I would like to hang out today, (umm didn't you here I was waiting for a friend drongo). Thankfully as I ended the conversation after that and started to walk away he went the other way. I'm starting to feel like I'm becoming a magnent for strangers in work and the real world. This never happened before, why now. By cthulu can't I just meet a nice girl for once please. I tackled hugged my friend when he came turned up 15 min later (his words).

Shout out to the guy who saw the whole thing. Nothing eventuated I only saw you as I was walking away but I hope you would of stepped in if it did

Yes. It always happens once you change your appearance.

I also once attracted unwanted people. Wearing decently prevented, to some degree, such unsolicited approaches by strange people. Of course, it does not necessarily mean that you should purchase very expensive fashion items. Wear classy.

barbie~~

Now if only you had your b->-bleeped-<-ipes!

Sorry.

I had a taxi driver read poetry to me the other day. Guys are just ............... weird?

It's the T. The elixir of irrationality :~D

Weirdo magnet here!I expect to be chatted up by someone in his 50s called Malcolm who lives with his Mum and goes trainspotting and collects crisp packets(it's happened twice).Or a Dexter(this guy had an extremely menacing feeling around him,he's still in prison for stabbing someone in the neck with a fork)

Quote from: barbie on January 28, 2015, 02:20:44 AM
Yes. It always happens once you change your appearance.

I also once attracted unwanted people. Wearing decently prevented, to some degree, such unsolicited approaches by strange people. Of course, it does not necessarily mean that you should purchase very expensive fashion items. Wear classy.

barbie~~

Work I'm in uniform so I don't have a lot of lee way. By a strange quirk of fate, the top that I wear is the same one that I wore pre transition (only a new issue as it was getting old :P).

Maybe these characters think you've got some inside info due to your job? (!)  ;)

Seriously, you are right to just keep your wits about you in these places. Train stations I think are the magnet, not you dear Gypsy, I have to walk past/by/through one most days and it is apparent that there is a "right old mixture" of folk hanging around from time to time.

Some guys think a woman by herself in a public space clearly needs to be approached and talked to. A girlfriend of mine, catching a train home at night a few years ago, had some guy sit next to her in a mostly empty carriage and started chatting with her. What was particularly scary was that he said he was just out of prison and looking to make new friends. WTF?

Quote from: Ms Grace on January 28, 2015, 04:34:54 AM
Some guys think a woman by herself in a public space clearly needs to be approached and talked to. A girlfriend of mine, catching a train home at night a few years ago, had some guy sit next to her in a mostly empty carriage and started chatting with her. What was particularly scary was that he said he was just out of prison and looking to make new friends. WTF?

I think that was LordKat ::)

About 6 years ago, I was waiting on a seat in a train station. One young guy suddenly sat in the front of me, smiling at me and keeping watching me. I guess I saw some saliva from his mouth. Apparently he was a mentally-retarded.

I looked again my clothes. No particular thing. I lamented why I always attract this kind of people in the street.

barbie~~

I think you might be attracting all men but unfortunately it's only the weirdos that act on it without being given any signals, it might be hard in a work situation but in your personal life I find that being firm and either ignoring them, turning away or walking away is a strong enough signal and safer than starting a conversation that you really did not want to get into.

Just my 2 cents :)

This is what I'm afraid of. Having strange men bothering me. Hopefully, my perpetual angry look keep the shallow, weak, willed weirdos from annoying me. Only the brave dare to bother me.

I worked in the hospitality industry for a few short years bartending at a world class resort.  Even there in that posh place, they came out of the woodworks. One day they'd come in with their wife on a date and the next night they would be alone sitting at the bar asking me out to dinner and drinks -- Yes, I would be like "what the heck?" .  I learned very fast that it is the nature of the industry. The male bartenders made it their personal meatmarket.  On a couple of rare occasions I had a weak moment and did go to dinner with someone I thought was decent.  What did he present me with upon greeting me at the door for the first time?  Nope - not flowers.  I got a side of beef - as in half a cow - all nicely packaged and ready for the freezer. Oh, and lest I forget - he also brought me indian corn.  I still laugh about that to this day, because of the uniqueness creepiness and ?thoughtfulness?? I found out later his family owned a major meat processing operation. He was a total gentleman, but that whole evening I kept wondering if he was mentally breaking out my body into meat parts.   Yes, they are everywhere and sometimes we even date them  :laugh:

Weird old people who want me to work for my change when driving through the toll booth... "Smile for me, honey!"
I... It's the only time I feel like I pass, so I take it for what it's worth. But then someone misgenders me and I get even more confused.

Quote from: barbie on January 28, 2015, 05:00:35 AM
About 6 years ago, I was waiting on a seat in a train station. One young guy suddenly sat in the front of me, smiling at me and keeping watching me. I guess I saw some saliva from his mouth. Apparently he was a mentally-retarded.

I looked again my clothes. No particular thing. I lamented why I always attract this kind of people in the street.

barbie~~

This happened to me in the supermarket. I was going about my business, then suddenly this teenage appearing kid, mouth open and drooling, came up to me and said, "HEY LADY, HOW YOU DOIN TODAY?" in my face with bad breath and all. Um wtf... Thing is his parent (or whoever the adult was with him) just laughed it off. I definitely think he has some disability so I kinda just brushed it off but I stayed a bit far.

If you must talk, casually mention a couple choice mental disorders, and how 'someday' you may get help with them, just not right noooowww.  Without raising your head, look upwards at him and smile.  He will vanish.  >:-)   Dani

I suppose you could call this style the Norman Bates method of pest removal.

Quote from: Newgirl Dani on January 28, 2015, 12:14:07 PM
If you must talk, casually mention a couple choice mental disorders, and how 'someday' you may get help with them, just not right noooowww.  Without raising your head, look upwards at him and smile.  He will vanish.  >:-)   Dani

I suppose you could call this style the Norman Bates method of pest removal.

That is awesome

Quote from: immortal gypsy on January 28, 2015, 02:54:03 AM
Work I'm in uniform so I don't have a lot of lee way. By a strange quirk of fate, the top that I wear is the same one that I wore pre transition (only a new issue as it was getting old :P).

It is going to keep happening. The problem is that I think you are just hot.

I remember the first time I was objectified. I was so upset...

Because, it made me feel good.

I thought objectification would never happen to me. I thought It was only for fairy tales.

Kind Regards, Danielle

Quote from: big kim on January 28, 2015, 02:51:26 AM
Weirdo magnet here!I expect to be chatted up by someone in his 50s called Malcolm who lives with his Mum and goes trainspotting and collects crisp packets(it's happened twice).Or a Dexter(this guy had an extremely menacing feeling around him,he's still in prison for stabbing someone in the neck with a fork)

Because:

A) Kim never learns
B) Everyone deserves a second chance
C) Kim never learns
D) Kim never learns

:laugh:

Mine got even stranger now that I wear my wedding ring again. (Had the old one melted down to make it...)

The last one at the grocery store was following me, cornered me in the liquor section and wanted me to share a twelve pack of IPA with him. 

As if! 

I mean, that's like WAY too many carbs.   What was he thinking?

ROFL :)

Quote from: Jill F on January 28, 2015, 08:09:46 PM
Mine got even stranger now that I wear my wedding ring again. (Had the old one melted down to make it...)

The last one at the grocery store was following me, cornered me in the liquor section and wanted me to share a twelve pack of IPA with him. 

As if! 

I mean, that's like WAY too many carbs.   What was he thinking?

I was a bus driver for many years and had a few weirdos chatting me up because I was wearing a uniform.I could understand nurses and policewomen's uniforms being sexy but bus drivers?
Blackpool's smelliest tramp asked me out for a date(a shared bottle of 3 Hammers in the bus station),I let him down gently by saying I was waiting for my(non existant) boyfriend to come home on leave from the Marines which got rid of him

Quote from: Jill F on January 28, 2015, 08:09:46 PM
Mine got even stranger now that I wear my wedding ring again. (Had the old one melted down to make it...)

The last one at the grocery store was following me, cornered me in the liquor section and wanted me to share a twelve pack of IPA with him. 

As if! 

I mean, that's like WAY too many carbs.   What was he thinking?

Pick up line for Jill. "Do want to see my plectrum?"

Now who is being picky, Oh dear.

I once felt that i knew what a man wanted if he made eye contact or chatted me up but that was when I was out as queer and appeared to be a man too.  I lived through the days when gay men looked for signals such as car keys or handkerchiefs just so.  One might ask if you were 'in the family' or 'are you a friend of Dorothy'.  Way better now that people are out more often. 

Now the straight guys pay more attention and I am less secure about understanding their motives unless they are fixed on looking at my boobs.  I enjoy lite flirting but there are lines we do well to not let them cross for our safety.

Quote from: ImagineKate on January 28, 2015, 12:07:18 PM
This happened to me in the supermarket. I was going about my business, then suddenly this teenage appearing kid, mouth open and drooling, came up to me and said, "HEY LADY, HOW YOU DOIN TODAY?" in my face with bad breath and all. Um wtf... Thing is his parent (or whoever the adult was with him) just laughed it off. I definitely think he has some disability so I kinda just brushed it off but I stayed a bit far.

In my experience, those who stare at me and try to speak to me are mostly a kind of redneck people, I mean, construction laborers. As my residential area is now booming with new development activity, this is unavoidable. They sit in the street for rest, watching passers-by, and I can not escape from their eyes.

barbie~~

It IS an eye-opener.... Back when I was playing the guy role, I had no idea how slimy many of them were.... AND in day to day life! At least when gay guys would come onto me it would tend to be in a setting that was at least semi-appropriate, for straight cisguys it seems anywhere at anytime is perfectly acceptable! Heck, I'm even noticing a different side to male friends and acquaintances that I've never really noticed before.... And I'm not too much a fan of it.

There's quite a sense of entitlement there which I never felt in me or fully noticed in them when I was "one of them". No wonder I never fit in!

Quote from: Ally_B on February 02, 2015, 04:16:47 PM
It IS an eye-opener.... Back when I was playing the guy role, I had no idea how slimy many of them were.... AND in day to day life! At least when gay guys would come onto me it would tend to be in a setting that was at least semi-appropriate, for straight cisguys it seems anywhere at anytime is perfectly acceptable! Heck, I'm even noticing a different side to male friends and acquaintances that I've never really noticed before.... And I'm not too much a fan of it.

There's quite a sense of entitlement there which I never felt in me or fully noticed in them when I was "one of them". No wonder I never fit in!

So true. ... I would add that it completely surprised me as well. Not that it happens... just that it happens so often, by people you would not expect, and somewhat relentless. My gut reaction is to complain. But I am not going to complain. It did not happen when I first transitioned. How does the saying go? "I have finally been objectified... it is so affirming?"

Out yesterday with a friend in a pub watching the game.  Bartender flirts that's their nature male or female, but the guy stealing looks at us most of the game. "You came in with a girlfriend! ". Oh and the two guys I cheered with once after a score,  I was talking to my friend the rest of the time. You didn't have to keep inching closer. It's like I'm playing a new game and I don't understand the rules

Quote from: immortal gypsy on February 02, 2015, 06:53:06 PM
Out yesterday with a friend in a pub watching the game.  Bartender flirts that's their nature male or female, but the guy stealing looks at us most of the game. "You came in with a girlfriend! ". Oh and the two guys I cheered with once after a score,  I was talking to my friend the rest of the time. You didn't have to keep inching closer. It's like I'm playing a new game and I don't understand the rules

Yeah, they were totally getting in on our personal space (I probably would've flipped out if I was in yr spot.... Too close! Too close!).... It was causing me to drink! Well that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it.... lol It was a massive relief when a table opened up and they went away.

Hi all.   New here.  I think most people have unique qualities that attract me even if not attractive, then personality, if not personality then smarts or looks or athletic or artistic abilities. 

I think we oft time send signals and people don't read them right or don't react as we feel they should.  Try new dress or not to be so friendly or outgoing.  Good luck.   


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This makes me curious for once I start going out more often. I've been told my whole life that I'm unapproachable due to "something inexplicable about me". A high school friend told me her initial impression once: "I felt like a wounded deer watching a wolf - wondering if it will lunge or walk away"...I wonder if going out in girl mode will change that any.

Quote from: StrykerXIII on February 15, 2015, 02:17:35 AM
This makes me curious for once I start going out more often. I've been told my whole life that I'm unapproachable due to "something inexplicable about me". A high school friend told me her initial impression once: "I felt like a wounded deer watching a wolf - wondering if it will lunge or walk away"...I wonder if going out in girl mode will change that any.

Somehow, I think it will. Once you are more comfortable with presenting yourself to the world, your confidence tends to attract people.

Quote from: Cindy on January 29, 2015, 02:09:10 AM
Pick up line for Jill. "Do want to see my plectrum?"

Now who is being picky, Oh dear.

Knowing Jill - I'd say you are on the right track, but her wife is likely to put up a heck of a fight at anyone trying to pick Jill up :)

And yes, you were phunny.

Quote from: StrykerXIII on February 15, 2015, 02:17:35 AM
This makes me curious for once I start going out more often. I've been told my whole life that I'm unapproachable due to "something inexplicable about me". A high school friend told me her initial impression once: "I felt like a wounded deer watching a wolf - wondering if it will lunge or walk away"...I wonder if going out in girl mode will change that any.

I don't know if it's finally being me, full time, the hormones or just happier now.  (Me happier, yes it's possible anyone scared). But I have become more bubbly, talkative and smile more when out, then before. So you might find the same happen to you

Just some of the people I seem to attract. It can become a case of "Why me?"

Quote from: immortal gypsy on February 15, 2015, 02:50:59 AM
I don't know if it's finally being me, full time, the hormones or just happier now.  (Me happier, yes it's possible anyone scared). But I have become more bubbly, talkative and smile more when out, then before. So you might find the same happen to you

Just some of the people I seem to attract. It can become a case of "Why me?"

...and your posts reflect that.

I once knew this genetic cis woman, she was gorgeous and she "attracted" all sorts of weird guys (flashers and worse). Poor thing, they were drawn to her like a moth to the flame, problem was it was her that usually got burnt by the experience.  :-\

Lotta weirdos out there, that's for damn sure.

Quote from: Ms Grace on February 15, 2015, 03:25:23 AM
I once knew this genetic cis woman, she was gorgeous and she "attracted" all sorts of weird guys (flashers and worse). Poor thing, they were drawn to her like a moth to the flame, problem was it was her that usually got burnt by the experience.  :-\

I can repel all of the moths at once by just speaking aloud  ;D

barbie~~

Quote from: StrykerXIII on February 15, 2015, 03:37:51 AM
Lotta weirdos out there, that's for damn sure.

Personally, I think this has a lot to do w/ it. Quite simply there are a lot of weirdos out there and they are more likely to ignore regular social convention and get in yr face than the kind of nice, respectable types we'd all prefer to meet.

Quote from: immortal gypsy on February 15, 2015, 02:50:59 AM
I don't know if it's finally being me, full time, the hormones or just happier now.  (Me happier, yes it's possible anyone scared). But I have become more bubbly, talkative and smile more when out, then before. So you might find the same happen to you

Just some of the people I seem to attract. It can become a case of "Why me?"

It's like the old expression goes, "you'll catch more flies w/ honey than vinegar".... The more that you project the sweet side of yr nature, the more that people as a whole will be drawn to you, and as I stated above, sadly it's usually the weirdos and creepers who are first to respond.

Hi everyone.   New to this. Also new to the feelings inside. Always been a closet cross dresser, but my erge to experiment with both sexes is increasing daily


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