Community Conversation => Transitioning => Topic started by: Monica Jean on February 02, 2015, 06:37:57 PM Return to Full Version
Title: My letter to her
Post by: Monica Jean on February 02, 2015, 06:37:57 PM
Post by: Monica Jean on February 02, 2015, 06:37:57 PM
Dear Monica, I will set you free soon.
I can feel you wanting, no...kicking and screaming, to be set free. Your time is almost here. Please be patient with me, I am almost ready to handover the baton of life to you and let you take over completely.
This man is completely out of energy, but as you can see, for the sake of the family I'm sticking it out as long as I can. We both love the kids and will do anything for them.
You're with me everywhere I go. I can feel you looking over my shoulder at every move, and every decision point, with every emotion and with every feeling. It's as if I am your shadow now.
When I sit down, I think of how you would look if my legs were properly crossed, or if my arms folded properly to take up his little space as possible in in honor of your arrival soon.
Monica, I am near completely out of energy with this fight. During the middle of the day I become so frustrated that you have not taken over the driver's seat yet. But yet, I'm still fearful of letting go. I know fear is my biggest enemy, yet it still has a hold on me. You know I have always had a hard time letting go of the past, this time is no different for me. Please understand.
Please accept my sincerest apologies with not losing a fair amount of weight for your initial flight. I have tried, but have failed. I know with your happiness you will be able to fight this battle much more effectively than I.
As I near this finish line, I can feel your excitement for life bubble over into my life. Part of me wants to stop immediately because I do not want to squelch your zeal for a living, a zeal I have never had. Of the two of us, you are the only one Who possesses the bubbly spirit, that zeal, that happiness in life, to continue on.
I am spent, I look forward to the new friends you will make, and I hope I've made enough wonderful new friends so that you have a fantastic springboard to start with at the beginning of your journey.
I want you to be happy, I want you to smile often... These two things I could never achieve. Since I've known you, you've owned both of these and it looks to me like you will be a lot happier than I am.
Please be patient, I'm almost done with my journey. You'll be set free soon,I can't wait to see how he will grow into a beautiful woman that is always been there and is waiting for her time to shine.
I love you,
Mike
I can feel you wanting, no...kicking and screaming, to be set free. Your time is almost here. Please be patient with me, I am almost ready to handover the baton of life to you and let you take over completely.
This man is completely out of energy, but as you can see, for the sake of the family I'm sticking it out as long as I can. We both love the kids and will do anything for them.
You're with me everywhere I go. I can feel you looking over my shoulder at every move, and every decision point, with every emotion and with every feeling. It's as if I am your shadow now.
When I sit down, I think of how you would look if my legs were properly crossed, or if my arms folded properly to take up his little space as possible in in honor of your arrival soon.
Monica, I am near completely out of energy with this fight. During the middle of the day I become so frustrated that you have not taken over the driver's seat yet. But yet, I'm still fearful of letting go. I know fear is my biggest enemy, yet it still has a hold on me. You know I have always had a hard time letting go of the past, this time is no different for me. Please understand.
Please accept my sincerest apologies with not losing a fair amount of weight for your initial flight. I have tried, but have failed. I know with your happiness you will be able to fight this battle much more effectively than I.
As I near this finish line, I can feel your excitement for life bubble over into my life. Part of me wants to stop immediately because I do not want to squelch your zeal for a living, a zeal I have never had. Of the two of us, you are the only one Who possesses the bubbly spirit, that zeal, that happiness in life, to continue on.
I am spent, I look forward to the new friends you will make, and I hope I've made enough wonderful new friends so that you have a fantastic springboard to start with at the beginning of your journey.
I want you to be happy, I want you to smile often... These two things I could never achieve. Since I've known you, you've owned both of these and it looks to me like you will be a lot happier than I am.
Please be patient, I'm almost done with my journey. You'll be set free soon,I can't wait to see how he will grow into a beautiful woman that is always been there and is waiting for her time to shine.
I love you,
Mike
Title: Re: My letter to her
Post by: Ms Grace on February 02, 2015, 06:41:36 PM
Post by: Ms Grace on February 02, 2015, 06:41:36 PM
That's lovely. Maybe Monica can write a reply? :)
Title: Re: My letter to her
Post by: Monica Jean on February 02, 2015, 07:44:28 PM
Post by: Monica Jean on February 02, 2015, 07:44:28 PM
ohhh, I love your thinking! And I'd love her to write that letter soon, he's exhausted from his journey!
Title: Re: My letter to her
Post by: Jenniferinutah on February 02, 2015, 10:06:36 PM
Post by: Jenniferinutah on February 02, 2015, 10:06:36 PM
This letter has made me very teary eyed. I can relate to this SOOoooo much. Thank you for posting this.
Title: Re: My letter to her
Post by: Monica Jean on February 05, 2015, 06:45:45 AM
Post by: Monica Jean on February 05, 2015, 06:45:45 AM
That letter was therapeutic, I almost feel like I made progress by just writing it alone.
Title: Re: My letter to her
Post by: alexbb on February 09, 2015, 05:18:40 PM
Post by: alexbb on February 09, 2015, 05:18:40 PM
To forgive one's self. Thats the beginning of everything starting to go well.
once the internal civil war is over, and you are on your own side, NOTHING can stand in your way.
xx
once the internal civil war is over, and you are on your own side, NOTHING can stand in your way.
xx