Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Yeah, awkward. So, I've been on T for a little over 4 months. I've never been small downstairs and now I'm slightly over two inches, with the head quite bulbous and sticking out of the foreskin.

I've also become a LOT less sensitive, likely from constant contact with my undergarments/whatever. That's better than the hypersensitivity I was experiencing before, but damn. It's hell to get off anymore. Masturbation is a desperate attempt to stroke the entire thing to get enough sensation, and my partner's attempts of pleasuring me have been failing left and right. She's tried everything, and I've tried to direct her, but it doesn't work. On top of that, she gets frustrated she can't satisfy and then we're both just sitting there feeling bad and uncomfortable afterward.

So, yeah. I'm wondering if anyone else has had to deal with this and what they did?

It happens to cis men too:)  maybe tomorrow you will be in the mood.  Watch porn, get a script for mild viagra.  But the more frustrated you get, it's just a downward spiral after that.  Just stop, take a break, and try again later..

Honestly, it's been this way for months. lol. She's not really into porn and I don't get off on it anyways. Does viagra even work for trans guys..?

I'm m2f and it still helps me in more than the erectile parts.  Then there are cis women who says it helps them too.
Ever try pump?  Are you in the mood?  Have to start from there?  It just took my wife thinking I was cheating on her to set my downward spiral.  After she realized it was the dysphoria and calmed down, I had no more problems either.   Stress, new meds, hormone changes..  just trying too hard..

i agree with the stopping part, take a break and stop over analyzing it, thats basically what your doing,

From my personal experience as a male.  There are good days and bad days.  But over all I have learned don't stress about it. More you push for it harder it seems to get. So instead of think of that as the end goal. Go slow listen to your body feel all of your sensations taking effect and before you know it you will be there.


Vicky
MtF

Quote from: Atypical on February 03, 2015, 04:42:31 PM
So, yeah. I'm wondering if anyone else has had to deal with this and what they did?

First, congrats on the growth...I have envy since I have not been so well endowed  :D

Maybe a little weird, but have you tried ice cubes?  Though it sounds like it may cause things to shrink, they can be a fun experience of partner play and I have had good luck with it. 

Another helpful technique for 'failed attempts' rather than sitting there together feeling bad is to verbally share what it is you each would like to physically experience, like sharing the erotic stories that play in your head.  Sometimes talking through it can be arousing!

Random question: Are you taking any antidepressants? Quite a few of them make it harder to be ... um.... sexually satisfied.

I agree on the roll playing, that could make things better.  Plus do review your meds.  Since we haven't heard back in a while, I hope all is going better?  Take care;)

Quote from: Cynobyte on February 07, 2015, 11:40:10 PM
I agree on the roll playing, that could make things better.  Plus do review your meds.  Since we haven't heard back in a while, I hope all is going better?  Take care;)

Pet peeve of mine.  It's 'role' playing. That is, unless you're dressing up as a pair of dice. [emoji4]


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That needs to be posted in the corny jokes column;)

Quote from: Shodan on February 08, 2015, 12:30:25 AM
Pet peeve of mine.  It's 'role' playing. That is, unless you're dressing up as a pair of dice. [emoji4]


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Who's ready for some roll play?

(https://johnrieber.files.wordpress.com/2013/10/wackiest-halloween-costumes.jpg)

I thought it's burgertime!  She'd get mad if I was nibbling on her!

Quote from: kast on February 08, 2015, 05:58:52 AM
Who's ready for some roll play?

ARGH! ROLE PLAY!  :icon_chainsaw:

Quote from: Shodan on February 08, 2015, 12:12:44 PM
ARGH! ROLE PLAY!  :icon_chainsaw:

I think he was making a pun with the bun being a roll. 

We are off the subject of this column,  things are getting rather cheesy;)  hahaha

That woman has great buns.

Thanks for the responses.

Nope, not on any medication aside from T.

It's not about getting turned on-- I can get turned on easily, so there's no issue there. I think maybe it's more a dysphoria thing. It's hard to get out of my head that what's being handled isn't designed the way it's supposed to be, or my partner will accidentally brush the wrong spot and then it's just over. With that in my mind, the sensation just isn't enough. Now that there's more surface area, it's like physical touch alone is just 'meh', and even if I'm in the mood, there's something that just won't let it reach that point.

I've even tried to talk to my therapist about it and she has no idea what to do.

You might ask your therapist if she can refer you to an actual sex therapist, preferably one who has experience with trans people -- I think it's not at all unusual for trans folk to have such problems, and a sex therapist should know what to do, since that's the job, pretty much.

Where are you located? I know some people who are in that end of the business who might be able to suggest someone. (PM me if you like.)

Keep digging here.  Somebody may find it that has your issues, but solved them already..  there are 7 billion chances you may have your problem solved so don't give up;)

Quote from: Tysilio on February 14, 2015, 04:16:22 PM
You might ask your therapist if she can refer you to an actual sex therapist, preferably one who has experience with trans people -- I think it's not at all unusual for trans folk to have such problems, and a sex therapist should know what to do, since that's the job, pretty much.

Where are you located? I know some people who are in that end of the business who might be able to suggest someone. (PM me if you like.)

Hey, it's all good. I live in washington.

I have no idea if I can get a sex therapist, though. I'm currently on disability and going through training to get a job I can handle, and it'll be a while until I can afford much of anything. My current care is free through medicaid.

Anything helps, though. At the least, I'm more than willing to call someone.

Yo! Totally get a brosleeve. I'm smaller than you and it works 100% for me. You can use it or let your gf use it. With the size you've got im sure it'll be perfect. If you've got a spencers go and pick one up. they're only 10 dollars. otherwise you should buy one off amazon.

Role playing is what happens in your head.

So expand your mind to be both male and female, with all the goodies of each, and then drench that sucker with silicone lube, all while wearing your sexiest nightgown (it's washable, and so are the sheets.)

I had somewhat the same problem, and after trying testosterone, Viagra, Cialis, several pumps, and even direct injection, I got a penile implant. Three-piece, hydro-inflatable robocock (my name, not theirs). 

The sensation is still there and I can keep it up as long as necessary. Ejaculation isn't as powerful, but orgasm is just as good.  And my wife absolutely loves it.

My medicare pays for all but $4,000 of the $70,000 cost. I can do that much.

But it seems most (all?) HMOs will not cover it, so I had to wait until the next enrollment period and go back to original medicare. Annoying, but worth it, even though now it feels like I have three testicles. 

Moisturize. Try natural moisturizers: vit E oil, coconut oil, or shea butter (my fave).
This isnt a "sexytimes" thing. Its a daily self care thing.
With your growth you have gone from being uncirc'd to essentially circumcised- you may still have your foreskin but the glans is unprotected which can lead to loss of sensitivity. Keep it moist, keep the skin soft.
Even the act itself of giving tender loving care to your junk might help you feel better emotionally. But honestly, i do believe that there's a physical skin care factor here that could make a real difference. (I'm curious to know if this helps you.)

Try cutting down on masturbation and sex for a little while, let your sexual frustration"build up" again to the point where you just have to go rub one out. The orgasm will be a lot better

Well, I'm back. It's been a couple of months and still no go. I went over a month without doing anything and was able to finish once, but only alone and after a good hour and a half.

God this sounds sad. Hah.

Bought a brosleeve, and while it's nice, it's not enough sensation for me. The tightness is fine, I used lube, etc., it's just not enough. Not close.

Been using Vaseline twice a day as a downstairs moisturizer; doctor suggested it and so far while the skin is healthier now than any other part of my body, it makes no difference. That's been going for about three weeks now.

The idea of having female 'goodies' just completely disgusts me and I don't think I could begin to find it positive. The dysphoria is pretty intense and my therapist thinks it's the culprit.

Kind of starting to feel like a lost cause.

Ask your doctor/endo for estrogen cream for your genitals. This is no way will 'reverse' any changes. My endo recommended me it and said she would write a script if I desired it to aid in sex. Best of luck.

~Skyler

Heh. I appreciate the advice but I don't think people quite understand what I mean about the level of dysphoria. I would sooner be a eunuch than apply estrogen to any part of my body.

I dunno man. The very concept of having female-esque anatomy makes me want to chop off things by my own hand. Estrogen being naturally in my system is something I can barely accept.

Your question re: viagra working for trans guys. I am pretty sure it would. That and the one with the bathtubs (haha, can't recall the name but weird ad). I know one of the lower surgeons prescribe that one. It's prescribed occasionally to cis women.
But sounds like the problem is severe dysphoria.


--Jay

Quote from: Atypical on April 09, 2015, 10:32:15 PM
Heh. I appreciate the advice but I don't think people quite understand what I mean about the level of dysphoria. I would sooner be a eunuch than apply estrogen to any part of my body.

I dunno man. The very concept of having female-esque anatomy makes me want to chop off things by my own hand. Estrogen being naturally in my system is something I can barely accept.

I know that feeling, opposite sideof the coin with that, but I get the same way. Been many an occasion where i've been tempted to just chop everything off and be done with it.

You might have a look here for a few thoughts :
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,181089.msg1651430.html#msg1651430

Quote from: Sapphire87 on April 10, 2015, 10:45:10 AM
I know that feeling, opposite sideof the coin with that, but I get the same way.

You might have a look here for the other side of the coin :
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,185786.msg1653885.html#msg1653885


In summary, there are quite a few people who are very satisfied with powerful vibrators...
trans men, women and cis people...
well as said above all at your own risk :) just don't overdo it...


hugs

I have no issues with orgasm, it was the extreme dysphoria that I was talking about

Quote from: Sapphire87 on April 10, 2015, 07:39:24 PM
I have no issues with orgasm, it was the extreme dysphoria that I was talking about

Of course people are different... I personally have no disphoria using vibrators because they stimulate a whole area and allow for fantasies and experience kind of detached from exact body parts... at least for me...


hugs

When I was married, things were very similar. I had had a phalloplasty, but it is without any sensation. I also did not have an implant to facilitate an erection. I wound up getting realistic, rubber penises, two sizes, and found a pain for briefs that would hold the rubber penis.
That worked well for my ex, she never failed to climax, sometimes several times, but it was really hard for me to get off. I wound up holding the rubber penis and rubbing that against my clitoris which the surgeon left at the base of the phalloplasty. There were times though when I couldn't get off, and my ex would complain about my anatomy when she tried to get me to cum.

You may have already tried this, but applying lubricant to the underside of the penis and using light stimulation might work.

sam1234